I have heard a similar story ...with a lil bit of twist. More of a family friend. So this guy has two sisters. His dad had taken loan for a business...it was going well but in betwn something happened and had to incur a major loss. So here we go...he becomes" The major bread winner " of the family. He slowly started repaying the loan and the taking care of the family. Then one day one of his relatives had the bright idea of getting him married and said that there is a girl who will fit their family well , she is also having a job with a good pay package. Every one including him liked the idea.
A lot of us told him not to do until things at his home front especially the financial side was fine. But he said his parents were adamant that he marry this girl and that he liked her too. But we warned him that if he was expecting her to share the so called monthly income completely with the family he will have problems...and his statement was ...he didnt look at that way...true he didnt but his family did which was unaware...
After the marriage and the so called initial phase and them having a baby girl things started getting ugly. Because the in laws were expecting the girl to share the amount that she gets for home expenses and their Son's money to be spend for completing the loan, and also for his sisters education...
This didnt go well with the DIL , she was willing to give some amt from her pay check but not everything . Her point was she wanted to spend enough for her daughter too..she argued saying the way his parents are thinking abt their two daughters. She also has the right to think abt her daughter,
( Which I think is very valid ). They didnt agree. So what did she do?? Resigned her job and sat at home on the pretext of taking care of their daughter. She said she couldnt manage both home and office.
In todays life , if both are professionals it is better to discuss the finance part before marriage . Especially boys , they need to have clarity if they are going to need their wife's support and also what their parents expect out his wife earnings. Because eventually it is the guy who is going to suffer.
It is so very wrong to get married to a professional woman thinking that she will help solve the families financial crises. A simple question would be - how many boys parents would allow the boy to help his in laws. Majority wont . They why are you expecting the money that your DIL is earning . Did the boys parents spent anymoney in educating her ?? No ...then on what grounds.
Its like they want their son's income and their DILs income. Their DIL shouldnt spent any money on her parents. This is the outlook the present gen has to change. Money that the two earns should never ever be discussed with either parents post marriage. How you handle your expense is something that the two deals with. And if you have a kid then definitely the money should be saved for your child first.
Your siblings are imp...but they are not ur responsibility . They are your parents responsibility . The child that you gave birth to has all the rights over your wealth more than your siblings. It was your decision to bring this life so it is ur responsibility to take care of it.
I as a woman will agree to your Bhabhi. She is a mother and is rt in thinking that way. Any mother would be protective of the child future and would want to give the best for her kid. She will see no one and nothing in front of her child's happiness not even her husband/in laws
PS : This my POV. There might be one of cases where parents are not there and the elder bro/sis would be taking care of their younger ones. If you are getting married to such a family then I would say you should be willing to make compromises too.
Edited by WeRockTheWorld - 9 years ago
