Let's solve my Bhabhi's problem

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Sargesh mehta

@Sargesh

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#11

OK don't support ur in laws but she is not allowing her hubby to support his family. She agreed jitna de diya bas ho gya ab

She is saying I am leaving job and u have to afford me and our child I am not going to support u financially. She is also destroying her own carrer

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Sargesh mehta

@Sargesh

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: WeRockTheWorld

If your Bhabhi is continuing to breast feed the child it will be difficult for her. Most of them stop breast feeding only after a year or so. And again you cant force a lady to work especially when her baby is not even 1 yr old. That is why most organisations have LOA /Sabbatical etc. Here they can take leave with out pay for longer duration and join back . Or you bhabhi will have to work at organisations which allow work flexible option for women.

Most of the IT org these days allow such options so that women can balance home and office. So it might be like workin for 2 days a week or half days...or even WFH ( Work from home ) options.

This is if she wants to continue as a professional . If she thinks that she doesnt want to work as she wants to concentrate in bringing up her child no one can say anything.

Ya this can be a valid reason. If dis is the reason we all r with her

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Kamal kulshreshta

@srilotus

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#13

Originally posted by: WeRockTheWorld

Neha's case is different. She is not an earning member. It is only RV that earns. Here the lady in question is earning. Money has the power to destroy a relationship. And a woman especially when she becomes a mother she will only see her child and her childs future first. That is how she is designed . That is how the nature made her.

jaisa maine kaha ki main apne personal experience se keh rahi hun...

main kuch yahaan share karna chanti hun

my hubby's elder brother passed away some 4 years pehle...uss time meri SIL housewife thi aur unke 2 bete hain...one is now in college and other in 11th...yeh sab hamari shadi ke baad hua...tab humari daughter 3 years old thi...humne decide kiya ki hum jab tak koi aur option nahi milta tab tak we will take care of her and her children ...some few mnths back she got the central govt job as mere BIL doordarshan mein achhi post pe the aur husband ki death ke baad unki family ke member ko job mil jaati hai...

haan main uss time housewife thi ...but hum donon sisters ko apni maternal property se bohot achhi rental income receive hoti hai...main bhi keh sakti thi ki main kyun unhe support karun...but i did...hum nahi karte toh kaun karta...haan mere hubby ne kabhi mujhse financial support nahi liya ...sab kuch khud se hi kiya

issi tarah agar aapke brother nahi support karenge toh iss time pe unke parents kisse expectations rakhenge.

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Sneha

@Rhy2015

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#14

One needs a lot of patience n maturity to tackle a situation like this...ur bhabi is right at her place coz shhe must've felt really bad after knowing the truth as u said she has already helped ur cousin in returning his educational loan.And quitting her job just to make her husband realize is completely a wrong decision n it's not a solution at all.Its only gonna make their situation worst.Having a baby is a big responsibility n being a Parent they both should b together n decide.
Infact in my opinion they only one solution that they should control their expenses n try returning the loan as soon as possible..coz the baby is very small n they still have time.

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Sargesh mehta

@Sargesh

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

#15

Thanks all of u for ur mature suggestions hope it helps them

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fangirl-rt

@fangirl-rt

Explorer

Posted: 9 years ago

#16

There was post titled "contract" by tia

On similar lines, in business, when mergers or takeover happens, thorough audit is done...

Because no one wants to get into debt...

If she was married without informing her about the debt, it is breach of trust...

Business would invalidate the deal citing non transperancy and fraud...

Bottomline, if it was hidden at the time of marriage, the intentions were ill and evil... and most probably the baby was brought to seal the deal as without the bond of baby, she would have had an easy exit route...

Edited by fangirl-rt - 9 years ago

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anu023

@anu023

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: fangirl-rt
There was post titled "contract" by tia
On similar lines, in business, when mergers or takeover happens, thorough audit is done...
Because no one wants to get into debt...

If she was married without informing her about the debt, it is breach of trust...

Business would invalidate the deal citing non transperancy and fraud...

Bottomline, if it was hidden at the time of marriage, the intentions were ill and evil... and most probably the baby was brought to seal the deal as without the bond of baby, she would have had an easy exit route...

This is one case where inlaws are at fault.. and they have no right to accuse her either .. to the exterior they say she is ruining her career but what they actualy want is her money..

And hiding about debts itself is a crime they have made..

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c85rie

@c85rie

Navigator

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#18

My two cents about this whole scenario:

First brother and his wife need to talk it out. Initial talk has to be between husband and wife. They each need to address the concerns of the other person.

Did he disclose his debt at time of marriage? Was it his expectation that his wife contribute to his debt repayment or does he need her to meet their monthly expenses only? And till what time? What did he plan for his finances when he realized that they were going to be parents? If his parents are capable and willing, why not let them pay some share of debt too? They cannot be happy that their son and his wife are fighting so much. A small amount could be interpreted as a big gesture. You have mentioned - brothers and sisters are there - how about their chipping in - possible not possible? If the siblings are working, then they should be made to atleast shoulder their own debts. Also when did he take this new loan? Was he under pressure? Why he did not share this news voluntarily?

For her, is she really not wanting to go back to work or is it because physically/ emotionally she thinks she will not be able to cope up? Is she ready to be a housewife - her entire life or she wants to go a less demanding job? Does she realize that sooner or later her kid will grown up. Want his own life- even as a kid he will be busy with friends, extra curricular activities? Is she ready to do household work? Even if her husband keeps help, she will have to shoulder responsibility of monitoring everything and even do kitchen work when help goes on leave. Nothing in life can be free.

Also does she realize that her bringing her income, gives her child greater monetary benefit. Is she ready to deprive her child of opportunities or ready to face a debt ridden life for her children and maybe pass on that debt to her son rather than slowly and steadily planning it from now. Try to tell her, foreign tours are hardly going to be enjoyable with a toddler. Instead they can plan it in next 5 years. It would be a enjoyable and enriching experience for her son too at that stage.

Everyone involved - brother, wife and family need to sit down together. If she feels cheated,she has to be shown that that was never the intention. If indeed she was cheated - honesty from now could go a big way in healing things. Maybe your cousin brother can not use her money unless she allows it.

Hopefully it works out for all of you.

Edited by c85rie - 9 years ago

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