In defence of Sona

Originally posted by: sinduja_venkat

Would like to thank CVs for a good and real episode yesterday. Somehow the post-marriage track is a lot more real and hits home with many of us. Romance and consummation aside, life gets a lot more trickier post-marriage. Its not rosy at all post-marriage like many imagine, and I love that this show is keeping it real. It takes eons to understand your husband and his family, luckily for Sona she has gotten to know Dev and a bit about his family before marriage.

Both husband and wife have to adjust after marriage .I agree the girl has to put extra effort as she is a new place but even for Dev its not easy .He has to balance his old and new relationship and make sure he doesn't offend anyone in this process .

I felt Sona's frustrations and disappointment yesterday was natural, given that she is trying very hard to achieve a breakthrough with Ishu, because she is starting to understand that this is essential to Devakshi happiness. Dev obviously prefers to remain blind to this fact and despite being the one person who could have supported her, failed to understand her intentions. I liked that Sona clearly asked Dev's support in future, instead of melting and giving in to his apology.

Dev had a very valid point and i was actually disappointed that he went and apologized .He was right, there is no point in trying to be someone else and lose your individuality .She is trying to be someone else to impress her MIL but how long is she gonna continue doing this ?In this process she is ignoring someone who has loved her for what she is .She should consider herself lucky that her husband is not expecting her to change for him or his family .

I even feel that had Sona decided to take the high road, and not bother with any of the vrats and poojas, Ish and the other elders would still have had a problem with her, and found even more reasons to hate her. Even Dev may have at some point had to speak to Sona about how she should try to gel with the family.

Ishwari gave Sona a very valuable advise but Ishwari's insecurities overshadows her wise words . Not everything can be achieved in a single day and she doesn't have to win the best Bahu competition .Sonakshi needs to put her ego aside and stop trying to be someone she is not .

Now don't get me wrong, Dev is also behaving naturally, as he feels his wife gives him low priority, but what he doesn't see is that Sona is trying to make things work for them in the long term. What he is refusing to see is that unless Ishu feels secure enough to allow Sona into her and Dev's relationship, Dev and Sona can say goodbye to their happiness forever. Its sad but that's the truth, and Sona probably realised the true extent of this only after Devakshi breakup. Sona to her credit, is atleast trying to workaround this problem, Dev to his discredit, is just ignoring the real problem and yelling at Sona because she decided to remain celibate for a week.

Do you really think Dev was angry at Sona because he had to stay away from her for 9 days ?He was supporting her by going against his mother so that she doesn't have to do something she doesn't believe in .

If Dev was really desperate to have physical relationship then he had lot of opportunities before their marriage but he never crossed his limits .He didn't have to wait till their first night .

Also, Sona is not immature like Dev, she doesn't break up with someone she dearly loves at the drop of a hat. 😭She truly loves Dev. Otherwise she doesn't have to put up with all the crap that the Dixits keep throwing at her. She loves Dev, and she understands she is responsible to take care of their relationship, even if that relationship involves Ish.

I disagree if people say Sona is not immature .We have seen how she behaved with Ritwick during the breakup phase .In her own words she did break Ritwick's heart just like how Dev broke hers .After marriage Dev has supported her and we have seen him trying to balance between his mon and wife .

If Sona is putting up with Dixit family then Dev is tolerating her immature and arrogant father as well.

I think Sona trying to be best bahu is also the only way even Ishu will ever understand her. Ishu needs to see that she is making that effort even when she doesn't have to. Even if Sona does make mistakes, in my opinion she shouldn't give up trying. Mother and Son are complicated, but Sona fell for Dev and she is willing to fight for him! That is a truly admirable thing, especially in contrast with someone like Neha who also fell in love but was not willing to fight for it, and who was brought up by the great Ishu. Ishu will at some point compare and contrast, once she has gotten over her insecurities. And Sona I think will keep trying to get over her insecurities. Even if she doesn't achieve that breakthrough, she has surely gained my respect. 👏

I do feel that Sona will achieve what she is after, and Dev will understand the depth of her love someday. So what if she decided to do a vrat and be celibate for 9 days, she did it for you man! I know it doesn't feel like a good idea from your point of view. But Your mom told Sona that they all do vrat in the family, for the happiness of the family! Did you really think she agreed to it so that she will win an award! Even if she did do it to be best bahu, she is still doing for you!!! Your mother faces off with her everyday for the best Mrs. Dixit award, she routinely shows Sona her place, tells her off, make her feel like she is an outsider. Did you ever try to tell Her off?? Oh right you tried to tell her, but your mom being your mom convinced you that you were at fault!!😕

Here Ishwari cannot be blamed .She did not force Sona and even if she had Dev would not have allowed that .It was purely Sona's decision to fast and she had many opportunities to back out.

Thinking about it, Sona could have been happily living with her family or even a much more simple and sensible Ritwick's family. But no, she chose you and your delusional family! Please understand how lucky you are. It is very hard to live with a family like yours.

Lets not forget that Dev has accepted Sona's inability to conceive and is ready to remain childless as he loves her truly .Any other man would not have accepted her if they knew the truth before marriage .

Sona is not doing any favour to Dev by marrying him .Just because he has a insecure mom all his other qualities are overlooked .Dev is a amazing husband and with each episode we have seen his character's growth ,Currently , he appears to be more sensible than Sona.

Dev, try to understand Sona, and support her. Because you are the only one who can do it. Its not that she doesn't want to do the deed!! She has loads of other things on her mind, which are as important to her. Help her out! Get out of your "one-track mind"!!😆

He really wants to support Sona and we have seen him doing it after marriage .He has done everything to ensure she is comfortable in his place .

Yes she had prioritized everything else over her husband and his needs .

Would people have supported Dev if he had decided not have any physical relationship with his wife for his mom's sake .I am sure the forum would be turned upside down by now and he would be labeled as mama's boy and what not

Let's hear what the forum thinks on this! Any other Sona supporters out there??

I am sure you can find many who would love to scrutinize and criticize every action of Dev's😆

Lastly , no offence meant 😳

Wonderful post dear!!!🤗

Even though I started watching the show because of Shaheer, I fell in love with the character of Sona. The perfect partner for our Dev babu. They, with all their faults truly completes each other. Where he lacks she fulfills and where she lacks he provides. Just the perfectly imperfect pair.

What Sona is doing post marriage, have been a subject of debate for all. I will not try to analyse the right and wrong there but to understand the why.

Sona is trying her best to be included in the family as an integral part. During their courtship even when Dev reassured her all along that his mother will be happy with his choice she had always realized Ishwari's displeasure. Ishwari never lost any chance to show her this. But where it really mattered Dev let go of her for his mother citing her unhappiness even if that was not his choice.

Dev have always been vocal about how much he needs her. But even if as viewers we know the depth of her love for Dev, she never verbalized it or show that desperation. Dev doesn't know how much he means to her. Him and their love is her world. The break up because of his mother was something she feared all along. I would say her trust in Dev was fragile to start with. She has her own set of insecurities. And that moment when he ended everything it was her fear coming alive.

Love was never their problem. She knew all along that Dev loves her. She would have felt more reassured if instead of Ishwari, Dev had come to her parents for her hand in marriage. Despite her fathers best efforts she agreed to the proposal without resolving any of the issues. When Ishwari begged her to come back to her son's life saying she have accepted her, she agreed because she wanted her love back that badly.

She felt reassured when they agreed for non-veg and Bengali wedding because even Asha told her it went on smoothly because of Ishwari. So for Sona she felt that Ishwari have genuinely accepted her. Her insecurities started cropping up again post marriage when Ishwari subtly made her understand that it was only for Dev and his zidd. She is back to square one and this time she can't afford to lose Dev again. The break up made both of them that they can't live without each other. She knows how it feels and can't go through all that again.

Now she is again trying to do what she did prior to their break up. Trying to make Ishwari accept her by trying to accept their culture and believes, because she thinks that her being Bengali is the bone of contention for Ishwari. They never realized the actual problem with ishwari. She is not attempting to win the best Bahu pageant but trying her level best to put her fears at rest. She fears and knows that how much ever Dev loves her he will not blink an eye before separating from her even if it destroys him if Ishwari opposes their relationship again. She fell in love with him for who he is, a person who thinks about everyone else and their happiness without thinking about himself.

She is not considering herself, her pride, her family, nothing matters to her but Dev and their love. She doesn't want to be separated from him again. She understands him, his frustation but is failing miserably to communicate with him her fears which is the hall mark of their relationship. She fears to voice about his mother because subconsciously she knows and fears his answer too. The scene in the car where he apologizes without her showing relenting and accepting her part of mistake is because of this only. Instead she asked him for his support.

This is going to go on until she accepts that whatever she does Ishwari is not going to accept her. Once she opens her eyes she will try to make Dev aware of it even if she fears the outcome. She have started observing things and her remarks that how much ever you try it won't be enough just points to that only. She is made aware every moment that she is accepted only as Dev's choice and that is her identity in that house. She doesn't have any right as an individual or as Dev's wife or the Bahu of the family. Everything is for namesake only and that too only until Dev wishes her presence there. Once he lost interest she is finished. This is the feeling dished out at her right now. It is high time she bucks up before she is completely lost.