A Mini-Analysis and a Big Complaint - Page 3

I don't have time to respond to everyone individually today, so just addressing some pertinent questions from the thread:

@Push-pull: I know you meant it humorously but I honestly don't think Sona has been wrongly recruited. Its just that she was thrown into a high-stakes situation right away for which she was not ready. Moreover, I see her as being recruited for an HR role, but DB asked her to head a huge product development and marketing project, which is just a bad fit! 😆 I also don't think the employer is against creativity altogether, it's just not the right moment for creativity when one of the most important clients is at stake!

@LiveLife321: We always seem to agree on the most salient points of the show, and for that I am really grateful! I agree that Sona needs to concentrate on what is important to her, rather than going out of her way to impress Dev's family by trying hurry into things that don't come naturally. As Dev so aptly put it today, she doesn't have to prove anything to anyone; she is already part of the household. I also understand that she wants to try new things, but as Ishwari tried to explain, this is simply not a nurturing environment for that... a lot is at stake for everyone.

@tia.o: I respect your experience and your concerns about ethics, but I feel that things aren't always so black and white. You do have certain clients who are very picky and moody, and sometimes adjustments have to made by those who know them better. As we saw in today's episode, Bua Dadi did in fact recognise that it was Ishwari's cooking, but it caused much less of an uproar than it would have had the food been a disaster. As we saw with the Tulsi Pooja, her approval of Sona's desire to learn didm' t lsat a second in the face of an error by Sona. On the other hand, with the food, she was discreet about Sona/Ishwari's deception and was even in a benevolent enough mood to say some nice things to Sona in the aftermath. As she has been trying to say repeatedly, Ishwari understands DB and has spent the better part of her life achieving the approval she has. I think it doesn't hurt to listen to those more experienced than you when you are in a new situation that also happens to be sensitive for them in ways you don't yet understand.

@AnnzsSageflower7: Exactly. Ishwari was simply picking her battles. DB is going to be out of the picture in a few days... why dredge up a hundred issues and unpleasant situations in the mean time?

@dsr11: That's precisely the point I was trying to make. To those of us who relate to Sona's mindset more, it seems insensitive and cold to think of a family as a company, but there is no escaping the fact that that is how Ishwari thinks of her household, in line with an older, patriarchal system " at least when Dadibua is there. Ishwari has given her life to master this system, and it's not fair to expect her to see Sona as an equal immediately, since the latter has not put the same work into mastering this skill set. Also, It's not that Ishwari and Dev are the institution and Sona the servant, but they are all employees of the household, bound to present it in a good light to others. Sona's newness is what puts her at a disadvantage, because in this system she has to earn her place and respect, rather than being entitled to it. That's what makes the system of women leaving their houses and joining new ones so inherently unfair. But since Sona has decided to do this, has taken on this job, I think it is wise for her to listen to those who are more experienced in its ins and outs.

I have one complaint. Not sure if I am minority, but I didn't like the latest drama where Sona come near tulsi tree (I think?) Wearing slippers. No matter how educated or unknown u are to simple rituals, even kids know they are not supposed to enter puja room wearing slipper, in some houses shoes is not allowed in kitchen also. I felt they just created that more drama's sake, is not it more like a common sense that's its disrespectful to wear shoe where we pray to God? And being a Bengali myself I have seen aunties neighbours my mom everyone always emphasizing how important tulsi tala for us and how we should respect it, I can't believe Sona no matter how busy she was in study or job never went to eat prasad fr Bengali puja like lakshmi, shani or saraswati or Asha never taught her this basic thing?! It seemed plain illogical.

And in precap I didn't like how Ishwari told her off. She was angry, I get it, and I hope she rectify it later. It felt like she told Sona she should focus on job oy cause that's her territory. Why can't she teach her DIL what she's supposed to do in a new house? Nowadays many DILs don't like if their MILs say a bit cause it feels giant insult, but Sona really cares about her. Like in old days when girls used to get married in very small age their MILs suddenly stepped in as their Mothers. Who will punish them, make them cry, at the same time teach how to live life and become their besties. Ishwari has a lot of insecurities but I hope no going to usual petty mother vs biwi face off they made them bond in a different way. It will be refreshing to watch.

Brilliant post. I more like ranted here but it was bothering me since the epi aired. Please excuse me 😆

Let me try to explain from my own experience. When i got married i dont know ABCD of cooking. When i started my new family, i took notes from my mom and my sister in law was here with us for some 3 days from whom i have learnt little basics. After that i just tried cooking by myself and fortunately none of the experiments were failed(In my husband's words😆). Even today i am not a pro but i know enough cooking to manage a household. Even now when i go to my in-laws place, i never try to cook because thats not my territory and i dont want to impress/prove anybody that i am good at cooking when there are experts in that area. I feel everything is not about winning or proving or self-respect and all, we also should know when to take a step back or bend down or let it go to make a relation successful.

I am not that comfortable with saree. After my marriage, at my in-laws house they told me to wear saree always because some or the other relatives will be visiting to greet newly wed couple. So when ever i visit my in-laws place i used to follow their customs. That was not a big adjustment since we hardly use to visit my in-laws place once or twice in a year since we both were busy in our jobs. Its as simple as "When you are in Rome be like a Roman".

But there are somethings which i dont like to change and by now they very well understood that i wont change those habits for anybody. For ex, I like to be simple and prefer less jewellery even while attending any family functions but they prefer grand look. They tried a lot to convince me in this aspect but i always denied them politely saying i prefer simple and comfortable look and i dont mind about what others think about me because of this. Its been almost 9yrs, now no one asks me why you are wearing this or why you are not wearing that. Slowly they accepted me the way i am.

When it comes to love it may be related to 2 people but when it comes to marriage its an affair between 2 families. To make it successful we need little compromises, sacrifices, adjustments and understanding from both the sides. I hope i made sense.😊