Posted:
Heya ! 😛
My name is Sheesh. I am new in this forum. I have fallen in love with this show. So I have written a piece to mark my debut here. 😳 . Kindly be kind to me and shower me with your friendship.
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Sumo looked at herself in the mirror.
There was a time when she thought of herself as fat. When he counted the calories she ate. Ironic. It was because he was counting that she was eating. He cared enough to count.
There was a time when she thought of herself as forgetful. When she forgot things that she had planned with him. She just wanted a chance to make more plans with more excitement.
There was a time when she thought she was indispensable if she maintained that image in the mirror. But she forgot that sometimes the image shows us the opposite of what we want to see on purpose.
Today too the mirror was lying. It was telling her that she was teary eyed and weak. Her support system had been broken. There was no way she could proceed. It wasn't just the question of money or relationships. Apparently both were temporary.
Then what was permanent? The stupid mirror didn't tell her that. It didn't tell her what she would look like tomorrow. And she wanted to know about tomorrow. She decided against using a fleeting image for decision making.
She looked around herself. The entire house was filled with frenetic excitement. It was as if nobody cared about a grand life once lived. Nobody cared that the very roof they walked under was built with a man's sweat and hardwork. The man who lay upstairs, forgotten. He had helped several people in need who were ready to pledge their life to him. And yet he wasn't dying in peace.
So what was permanent? If a successful man surrounded by his loved ones did not have peace then where was peace?
May be life wasn't meant to be permanent. May be life was meant to be short and purposeful.
Nirmala aunty in all good faith had brought forth a proposal from Adi. It would be easy to say yes to that. To lead a super easy life with a man who seemed to like her for herself. Who helped her in a way that did not undermine her self-respect and worth.
Yes but the heart never chose easy. Heart always chose to beat faster. Heart always chose turbulence. It beat for the one person who she apparently couldn't have no matter how much she changed or tried to prove herself.
She began slowly walking towards Naanu's room. He appeared to be asleep with his eyes half open. He looked almost happy. Why wouldn't he be? His laadli had received a great proposal from a person he really trusted. She wondered if she could be honest with him about Shravan. She had always shielded Naanu from ugly truths. Why had she decided she would talk to Naanu? Was she really cold and selfish as Shravan had said? When it mattered did she care only about herself and not about an ailing man? Contradictory thoughts plagued her threatening to tear her apart. Now more than ever she needed Naanu. Especially when Shravan said their relationship was over. She couldn't take it anymore.
"Naanu..."
He grunted. She gently nudged him and he half opened his eyes "Suman puttar". His voice cracked with strain.
Could she do this? If she didn't speak now she would disintegrate.
"Come sit by me. I don't think I have much time."
She shook her head "Naanu how dare you talk like that. I..."
He grunted in laughter. His eyes had puffed up so much that it was hard to make out his expression.
"Naanu...Can I say something? I don't want to believe that you are dying. I don't want to shield you from my decisions just because you are sick. I want you to know I plan to be happy. But I want to be happy in my own way. You understand that don't you?"
He nodded and smiled gently "Whatever makes you happy puttar."
She was on the verge of tears. How could she break Naanu's heart in this state? May be a white lie wasn't bad. Yet somehow her pure anguish told her she couldn't hide things from Naanu anymore. A person could only be so strong.
"Naanu..."
"Yes Puttar."
"Naanu...I don't want to marry Aditya."
There she said it. She waited for his reaction. His anger or sorrow or worry or anything. Anything but the staunch silence that she encountered. She shook him a little just to be sure.
"Mai abhi zindaa huu", he exploded. She flinched.
"Naanu...relax..."
A tear dropped from his eye and it gave her unimaginable pain. Why did she have to do this? Well she knew why. There was just no other way.
"WHY?"
She was speaking fast enough. Really afraid if she would ever be able to forgive herself if something happened to Naanu.
"Naanu. I don't want to get married at all. I...I want to run PCT. It is my life. I want to be successful and then only think about marriage. Right now I can only think about my startup. You understand that, don't you Naanu? I know a husband will support me however hard I work. But I don't want a man's support. Because a man's support always comes with a price tag. I want to do this on my own. As you always say, work is someone's self-respect, dignity and identity. Don't strip that away from me. I want to remain single. I can take care of myself. I don't want a long useless life. I want a short fruitful life. I want to make best use of the years when the neurological function in my body is good."
Naanu stared at her. But he didn't appear too excited or flustered. She couldn't tell with his swollen face but he appeared to be thinking.
"Think about it Naanu. My body being alright again is my gift. I am the happiest I have ever been. Being able to cook and feed my passion is my biggest gift from god. I am really happy with that. I don't want the baggage of a husband. I don't want what happened to Nirmala Aunty to happen to me."
Naanu coughed and she was immediately by his side with a glass of water. He accepted the water and sipped it gently. She took that as good news. May be he was too weak to fight with her. She had had enough. Any man in her life would have to accept her as she is. Yes she was indebted to all good men in her life. But marrying them or pandering to their whims was not the way to thank them. She would take care of Naanu's house and his legacy when he was gone. This was her silent promise. Her personal life was all going to be hers.
Naanu rolled back into sleep. It seemed like her resolute face was funny. For Naanu was smiling.
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Jodha Akbar
