Arshi FF: The Broken Hearts ( NEW LINK ADDED) pg 151 - Page 46

Chapter 8

August 20, 20xx
I don't believe this. I seriously don't believe this. Did I see right? Did I hear right? Did she really say that? She loves me!!!
How? And why? What made her think that way? Our friendship is barely few months old and she claims to have fallen for me? How is that possible? Without knowing each other well, how can she make such a statement and that too in front of almost fifty students?
I always considered her as a friend, who needed me and with whom I liked spending time with. She's sweet, innocent, easygoing and we share a great comfort level...that's all. There's nothing more to it. At least not from my end.
I pause to think more about this and unwillingly the scene of me clasping the chain around her neck, flashes before my eyes. I take a deep breath. Okay. Fine, I admit there is strong attraction between us and her closeness deeply affects me but that cannot be called as love. That attraction has always been there... Her simplicity has always fascinated me but that doesn't imply that I love her. Yes I'm concerned about her. Seeing her upset, stresses me but that's because I'm worried for my friend and wish to see her happy. That's about it!
Today was a big day for her. She was participating in a competition and wished me to be by her side, even I wanted to see a shy timid Khushi blossom into a confident girl but what I saw...it didn't pleasantly surprise me. It shocked me. Trust me, I had no idea that she harbored such kind of feelings for me...that she would make sculpture of me and that she'd openly confess her feelings.
Today, she took me totally off guard. In fact she let me down... she let down our friendship.
Love? I mean really man, where did that come from and why?
We both are young, we have our separate lives to lead, we have certain goals to achieve in our lives...Okay, I don't know what kind of a future she sees for herself but I definitely wish to reach somewhere in life. Somewhere high. And to reach there, love will have to wait.
In fact to be honest...There's no place for love.

*******************************************************

Khushi glanced at the small trophy kept on her table. She won the third prize in the competition. She didn't know what the judges liked, her sculpture or her thoughts on it? She shrugged, whatever it might be, but her victory was meaningless as Arnav was not present at the time results were announced. Going on stage to collect her award she'd been ecstatic and her eyes only searched for him. But failed to find him. Her face that had been glowing with happiness had lost its sheen on knowing that he'd left. It was her first achievement and she'd badly wished to share it with him. The students were applauding and cheering for her but she didn't seem to notice as his absence was the only thing that had been captivating her attention.
He had been present through out the event, even when she was speaking about her sculpture, he had been sitting and listening. He had come back from Kolkata, to support her, to be by her side, then why did he leave and that too without telling her? Even now when she was trying to call him, his phone was switched off.
Khushi's eyes moved to his sculpture and she raised her hand to caress it. A fleeting smile spread on her lips. She'd poured all her emotions into this lifeless mould of clay. She couldn't think of moulding someone other than him. He was the most special person in her life and also the only person in her life. He'd supported and held her when she'd been on the verge of breaking down. He was the only one who wiped her tears and brought a smile on her face. Only one who understood her silence more than actual words could convey. Only one who she could rely on and trust.
Till yesterday nobody had an idea what he really meant to her. But now everyone knew, including him and the thought relieved her.
When she had been making the sculpture, her aunt had asked, who he was...that time she had said that it was just a random face, nobody in particular...the truth was that she was scared to reveal his identity...She was scared to admit to herself what she actually felt for him. However in these few months, she fell in love with him and her creation. He was the first and probably the last guy who entered her world. For the first time she had given away her heart to somebody and the realization had been so overwhelming that she failed to contain it. The emotion of love was new to her and the feeling so special and unique that she couldn't handle it. Like a love struck teenager in her innocence she went ahead and declared her feelings without thinking about it's consequences .

She didn't regret what and how she'd expressed those feelings because for her the emotion was pure and sacred. He was special for her then why refrain from admitting how special ?

And it was his love that gave her the strength to openly speak about her feelings. She remembered the day she had met him for the first time, she could barely open her mouth to speak to him and students around her...She lacked self confidence and self belief...She was a frightened rabbit who didn't wish to come out of her hole and explore the outside world because she was scared...Scared of everything around her. But he pulled her out of that hole and showed her that the world outside was wonderful. His love changed her.
She caught her reflection in the mirror and touched the pendant that he'd gifted her. It was beautiful, just like the feelings that she had for him.
However she was oblivious to what he felt for her. He never explicitly expressed his feelings. Perhaps he didn't need to, her heart had already heard and felt his unspoken words.
One last time before going to bed she tried his number.

Same. It was switched off.

And then an awful thought came to her mind. Was he upset with what she'd said on stage? Did he not feel the same about her and that was why he left without informing?
The thought made her shudder. No. No, her fears were baseless. He might have left because of some work, he had missed two days so probably he'd gone to his office. And about his phone turning off, then again he might have forgotten to charge it.
She inhaled deeply to calm her nerves. There was nothing to worry. Like earlier, he'd call her later. Everything was fine between them.

*******************************************

The next few days, Khushi found Arnav missing in college. She called him several times but he didn't take her calls, just messaged her, I am at work...I'm busy...Will call you later.
But he didn't call back. And now she was worried. She hoped he wasn't overstressing himself at work, he wasn't ill or something and most importantly everything was normal between them.
Today his semester results were out and he had passed with flying colors, she was so proud of him.
She hoped that at least today he came to college otherwise she'd have to take an extreme step of visiting him in his hostel. All this unnecessary tension was now affecting her both physically and mentally.
Khushi searched for him in his class, canteen, lawn but couldn't find him anywhere. In the end she went to the library and was relieved to see him sitting there. A broad smile adorned her face just at the sight of him.
Arnav's eyes were glued to the computer screen to notice Khushi standing before him. He was studying the history and profile of an automobile company.
Khushi cleared her throat to catch his attention. He looked up from his screen only for few seconds before shifting his gaze back to the screen.
" hi."
" hi." He replied while pressing the keys of the keyboard.
" Arnav ji, I just saw your results. You've topped..I'm so happy for you." To that Arnav just nodded. Yeah he knew had topped and it didn't surprise him. He was expecting it.
" by the way I also won the third prize in the competition... let's celebrate." Khushi peered at him to know his reaction, he had left unannounced, probably now he would tell her why he suddenly left. It had been a while since they had spent quality time with each other
" just in case you've forgotten Khushi, let me remind you that in two hours I have an important job interview and I need to prepare for that." She perhaps only remembered about her competition and conveniently forgot about his interview.
" no Arnav ji, I haven't forgotten. In fact I came here to wish you luck." He didn't bother to glance at her.
" if you're free then maybe in the evening we could go out."
He still didn't reply.
The silence between them was stretching for long and it was making her uneasy. Was everything alright?
" you're fine?"
" of course." What kind of a question was that?
Yeah he looked fine, she shouldn't have asked him that.
" no, I mean in the last few days we didn't get to meet or talk so I was a bit worried about you."
Arnav didn't know what to say on that, he wasn't a child who needed her care and attention.
" Khushi, I told you I was busy..you didn't have to worry."
Khushi simply nodded in silence.
She waited for him to say something after all they were meeting for the first time after the competition day.
" so?"
Now what did she mean by so?
" so..nothing."
Khushi drew her eyebrows together, really nothing? He didn't have anything to say to share with her?
" Arnav ji, are you upset with me?" Hearing that Arnav's hand stilled on the computer mouse that he was holding.
He peered up at her and held her inquisitive gaze. After what she'd done, shouldn't he be mad at her?
" No." He lied because he feared that he might end up blurting something unpleasant. Surprised at himself, he still didn't wish to hurt her.

He wasn't upset with her, relaxed her and she on her own pulled the chair across to sit.
God, couldn't she understand that he didn't have time to chat with her. This job interview was crucial for him. And here she was sitting before him as though he had all the time in the world to spend on her.
" Khushi don't you have your class to attend?" She peered up at the wall clock.
" Yeah, a lecture of business management is going on but I don't wish to attend it." Arnav stopped typing and furrowed in confusion. Khushi wasn't one of those students who missed their classes without any reason. She was a diligent and a hardworking student. Then why today?
For the first time since she had come over, Arnav shifted his attention from the computer screen and looked at her carefully.
She looked slightly pale, worn out and she had dark circles under her eyes.
" you look weak..what's wrong?" Sensing the concern in his voice, made her smile and Arnav immediately regretted it. She was once again misunderstanding his concern.

" actually, I feel a little feverish."
Arnav clenched his jaws. She was unwell and instead of resting she was asking him to celebrate. Was she crazy?
" then what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be visiting a doctor?" Arnav's raised voice startled Khushi and caught the attention of other students.
Tears welled up in her eyes. " I wanted to be with you." Yes she wasn't feeling perfect but on knowing about his result and finally finding him in the library had made her forget everything. The joy of having him around had overpowered her sickness.
Arnav pursed his lips and shook his head. How could she be so careless about herself? If he wasn't wrong then back home there was nobody to look after her so it was her duty to take care of herself. As far as being with him was concerned, they could spend time any day. He wasn't running anywhere.
" you know Khushi, these days you've started to surprise me...And mind you, not pleasantly." His tone was low but Khushi could make out that he was very annoyed with her.
He had once again gone back to his computer and was no longer looking at her.
She hated to see him upset and that too because of her. Today was an important day for him and instead of being her strength like he had been hers, she had angered him. The thought made her feel horrible.
She stood up silently as her lips quivered, she pressed them firmly to stop herself from crying.
" I guess I'm disturbing you...so I'll leave." Arnav didn't have to glance at her face to know that she was teary...He could sense it. He glared at her retreating back and curled his fingers in annoyance. Even though she was at fault yet her tears were making him feel guilty.
Damm it!!!

******************************************

Arnav adjusted his tie as his eyes moved around the office where he had come for his interview. It was a well furnished one with style and elegance dripping from every spot. His chest swelled up with pride, this was the kind of company that he wished to be part of.
Like him six other candidates were waiting, first there would be a group discussion, the candidates who cleared would then be called for a final interview. Both Anjali di and Khushi would be proud of him once he got the job.

The thought of Khushi made her uneasy, he had been very rude to her and he didn't like it. He didn't intend to lose his temper but what she had done on the competition day had rattled him, he still couldn't believe that she was in love with him.
God now was not the time for love. He pushed the thought of Khushi aside.
Arnav tapped his foot , waiting anxiously for the group discussion. Just then his cellphone vibrated, he smiled reading the caller's name.
" yeah di, tell me."
" chotte , wish you all the very best. Hope you get this job."
" di, I need your prayers."
" my prayers and good wishes are always with you." Then there was silence at the other end.
" chotte, are you there?"
" yeah.." Anjali could sense that today her brother was not himself, something was wrong.
" then what is it? You sound a little lost." Lost? Hmm he was kind of. There were so many different emotions going through him that he didn't know how to react. He was both nervous and excited for the interview but at the same time he was feeling low.
" nothing di. All good." He couldn't convince his sister who knew him better than anyone else.
" no chotte, you're hiding something..your semester results?"
" di, I topped so don't worry." Anjali smiled hearing that. " that's awesome chotte, congrats."
" thanks."
Something was disturbing Arnav and Anjali didn't wish to leave it like that. " then what's the matter chotte...is Khushi fine?"
The mention of Khushi made Arnav wince again. That was it. That was what, that was bothering him. She was sick still she had came to wish him luck but he hadn't cared. Had situation been different, he would have himself taken her to the doctor. Her teary voice still disturbed him. Why had she complicated things between them?
" di, I'll speak to you later..I'm being called for the interview." Without waiting for a response from the other side, he disconnected the call. He sighed deeply and rubbed his forehead. He needed to concentrate on what was more important at this point of time. His equation with Khushi would have to take a backseat.
His cellphone beeped.
* Arnav ji, I'm sorry for what happened today. Didn't wish to stress you. Good luck for the interview.*
Arnav stared at the screen till it blacked out. His thumb moved to ask her if she was fine? Did she go to the doctor? His mind wouldn't admit but his heart was worried for her and it knew that she wouldn't have taken any medicine, instead she must be stressing and blaming herself for the whole thing. Arnav's thumb hung in the air for sometime before he curled it back and deposited the phone in his pocket.
Five minutes later he was sitting with other candidates in a small room for the group discussion. The topic given to them was to suggest ways of increasing the sales of the luxury cars that the company manufactured.
It was a post in the sales department and unfortunately Arnav had no experience in the field of sales and marketing. All these years he had worked in the HR department and education wise he was specializing in finance. So in no way he was cut out for this job. Yet he had applied for it. Why? Because the company was offering a fat paycheck along with perks. The offer was too tempting to let go.
So here he was participating in a discussion about which he had little knowledge. Nevertheless he didn't wish to give up. His ego didn't allow him to do so. So he made some suggestions on the basis of the past history of the company but all his suggestions were argued and dismissed by his fellow candidates.
Arnav saw himself losing and the feeling was awful. He closed his eyes for a second and Khushi's face flashed. Even she had suggested him not to apply for this job but he hadn't paid heed. After all what did she know? She was an undergraduate with no work experience.
Arnav mentally kicked himself..damn she was right!
An hour later the results were announced and as expected Arnav hadn't made it to the next round. He was disappointed...grossly disappointed. And to make it worse Khushi text him again.
* how was it?*
This time he didn't stop himself from answering.
* bad. I failed.*
Khushi couldn't believe what she had read. Oh god, it was terrible. She knew how badly he wanted to change his current job. How excited and positive he was at the time of applying for this job. He had already made plans regarding how he would save and spend his salary..how this job would make his CV more impressive. And now he had lost this opportunity. He must be very disheartened. She thought of calling him up but stopped.
Not today.
It wasn't a good day for them, particularly for him. She had already angered him a lot in the morning. She didn't wish to upset him more.
However she couldn't stop herself from worrying about him. Arnav always excelled in what he did then today why did he fail?
Was it because of what had happened between them earlier in the day? Maybe all that deeply affected him and played on his mind.
Khushi shook her head in disappointment as she held herself responsible for his failure. If she had spoiled things then she only would set them right. And she knew how she'd do that. She chucked the blanket aside, got off the bed and left the house.
Unaware, she was digging grave for her dreams

****************************************************

The weekend was over and Khushi was back to college. She peered down at the paper in her hand and smiled. This would hopefully solve his problems and make him happy. While walking down to the canteen she tried his number, why couldn't she reach through him, it had been two days and she hadn't heard anything from him. He didn't reply to her text messages too.
While keeping the phone to her ear she stopped in her tracks when she saw him in the canteen talking on his cellphone. She looked at her cellphone, was something wrong with it? Maybe yes otherwise why wouldn't she be able to speak to him.
Anyway she went to his table and was surprised in fact shocked to see her classmate sheetal sitting next to him. Wearing short and revealing clothes, sheetal enjoyed flirting with the boys of the college. She loved the attention that she got from boys and every week she'd have a new boyfriend in her arms.
Seeing Khushi standing before them sheetal gave her a sly smile that only irked Khushi more. She waited for Arnav to finish his call. When he did she forced a smile that Arnav didn't reciprocate.
" Arnav ji, I can't seem to call you." Arnav didn't reply as standing there she once again dialed his number.
" seems like something is wrong with my cellphone."
Arnav pursed his lips and replied." I have changed my number."

Khushi furrowed her and brows. " but why? And you didn't even give me your new number?" Arnav didn't understand why Khushi was so naive. If he wasn't taking her calls, he had changed his number and didn't care to tell her and if he wasn't making any effort to meet her then didn't all that sent across some, message loud and clear??
" that's because I didn't the find need to." He said softly but firmly and then pulled the book from sheetal's hands.
" so sheetal what were you asking?" Sheetal smirked at Khushi who was astonished by Arnav's words then moved a little more close to Arnav. " yeah arnie, I'm finding this part really tough to understand."
Arnie?? It surprised both Arnav and Khushi. Though Arnav didn't correct her but Khushi glared down at her. How dare she get close to him?
Her eyes shifted to Arnav, something was wrong but what?
" Arnav ji, why do I feel that..you're avoiding me?" Her voice shook as she asked him and an unknown fear gripped her.
Arnav snapped the book shut and finally looked up. " because I am." He didn't want to say that explicitly but he had to...She was compelling him to show her the mirror.
Tears filled up in her eyes. " are you still mad at me for that day?" He didn't know which day she was talking about but yes he was furious with her and shouldn't he be?
" look I don't want to talk about it."
So he was, but she had apologized and she had come here to mend her mistake but for that they needed to talk. She passed him the folded paper that she was carrying.
" Arnav ji, just have a look at this..I'm sure your anger will melt down and everything will be like before." Arnav clenched his jaws and crumbled the paper in his fist. Things couldn't be like before...couldn't she see?
" Khushi, just leave. I don't want to create a scene here." He was trying hard to not lose his cool but he doubted if he could do that for long if she didn't leave.
" I'm not going anywhere till we talk it out."

Arnav opened the book again, ignoring her.
" Khushi why don't you just leave us alone...arnie and I need to discuss something important."

That was it. Khushi couldn't take sheetal's interference anymore and pointed her finger at sheetal. " you keep your mouth shut. And don't you dare come close to Arnav ji." Khushi didn't care that she was shouting at sheetal and now all eyes were on their table...including shyam's.
Sitting in a corner he enjoyed watching this dramatic scene take place. Arnav and Khushi were close to each other, the whole college knew about that. However he didn't expect Khushi to profess her love in public so her declaration on the competition day had come as a huge shock to him ...in fact it infuriated him. He could never see Arnav happy. However today the situation appeared quite different. Arnav was avoiding her and he looked quite unhappy with her. Poor Khushi don't be heartbroken...shyam was here...instead of Arnav, he could be her support system.
Sheetal stood up and crossed her arms. " listen Khushi.."
" NO, you listen and listen carefully...stay away from him?"
Sheetal scowled at her. " why?"
" because we're seeing each other."
Arnav banged his hand on the table before standing up.
" ENOUGH Khushi...not a word more now."

Khushi was aghast seeing him so angry, instead of stopping sheetal why was he asking her to keep quiet? Couldn't he see that she was being over familiar with him for no reason and was trying to come in between them?
" we are just friends. In fact we were friends till you brought this love angle from God knows where?" Khushi opened her mouth to speak but tears clogged her throat.
" I cared for you only as a friend but you misunderstood me and embarrassed me before everyone on that competition day."
Khushi swallowed hard. " but Arnav ji. .."
" I'm not finished yet... Because of you I lost my closest friend in you."

He didn't love her...just took her as a friend! No, this couldn't be true. The tears that she was trying to hold back, now flowed down.
He could never see her sobbing but today her tears only angered him...He didn't wish to go weak. He had to detach himself from her. He couldn't mislead her and ruin their lives.
" Arnav ji..please listen to me."
He shook his head.
" Khushi...its over !

Thanks for reading

Rose