Posted:
My Wife Aarti
Afternoon everyone my name is Yash Schindhia I have major depression, I have been a member of Indian Depression and Anxiety group for almost a year now, today I have finally decided to speak out, I will talk about my wife Aarti.
Durban. I flew in that morning i was attending a function. I was getting settled in my room and as I walked onto my patio I saw this beyond beautiful woman walking towards me. I was in awe with her looks. She happend to be staying right next to me. I fell in love at first conversation. Everthing seemed too right and I thought,Could this be real? Could she really be this great or is it the beautiful setting we were in? After a romantic three days we got married in Durban. We both lived in Bhopal and when we returned home, It was weird to say the least. I didn't know anything about her, our parent were not thrilled. After three months, we moved in together and made our marriage official in India and two years later we had our princess Payal.
Things were perfect, but like every perfect moment it ends. About 6 months after Payals birth Aarti started loosing weight and something seemed wrong, she was becoming sick more often than usual and she was tired all the time. It was unlike her and I was begining to worry, but everytime I asked her if she was okey all she said was she's fine. She was never a good liar,and she knew it because everytime she told me she was "fine" her eyes became big and her face grew pale. In late December 2013 we were watching a movie while cuddled up on the couch when out of no where she let out a blood curdling cry of agony a sound that I will never forget.
I raced my car and followed behind the ambulance until we reached the hospital.As they took her into the ER I stood in the waiting room impatiently waiting to hear from the doctor. Two hours later Dr Thomas came into the waiting room. "Doctor what's going on, is she okey?" I asked. "She's resting right now but you can see her if you'd like, the cancer is really taking a toll on her body.""I'm sorry did you just say cancer?"I said in shock. "Yes I did...I'm sorry did you not know?" He was confused. "No,,, she never told me.. She lied to me, Aarti never told me about this, any of it. "Yash she has acute leukemia, the cancer has spread beyond the help of chemo or radiation."
"Wh-what does that mean? Is she going to die?"
"I'm afraid so. I'm terribly sorry."
"How long?"
"I diagnosed her a month ago. But because the cancer is at an advanced stage I give her 3 months, 5 if she's lucky.
"5 months? Thats it?"
"I truly am sorry."
"Can I see her?" asked through the tears.
"Of course. We walk through the rooms past patients and working doctors. Until we made it to Aarti's room where she was resting.
"I'll leave you two alone.he closed the door behind
I just stood there not moving, just looking at Aarti, and when she looked back I could see in her eye that she knew. "Doc told you huh?" She chuckles
" How could you be laughing? I asked astonished
"Yash.."
"Dont.. you knew this whole time but you... you never said anything.not one word." I said as i felt the tears coming.
"I tried to tell you..but the face you have right now is exactly what I was scared of seeing if i told you.
"So what you were gonna wait until you're dead for me to find out?. I couldn't hold my anger anymore
"No! I wanted us to be as normal as we could be. I dont want things to change Yash. I dont want the rest of whatever I have left spent in a bed waiting for me to rot and die." Her voice was begining to crack. I was speechless I knew then why she didn't say anything. She was scared just like I was.
I walked over to her and sat on the edge of the bed. You and me, we dont have secrets, we never have. So from now no more secrets, no more lies and no more hiding, Deal? She smiles "Deal" And from that moment on there were no secrets, no more tears, no more sadness. From that moment our love was even brighter and stronger.We spent every waking moment with Payal just taking advantage of the time we had left. Two months passed then three and as I began to hope thing took a turn for the worst at four months Aarti wasn't able to walk much or stand. Her health was decreasing rapidly and her body was steadily loosing its mass. It was hard for me to watch her endure this.
I remember April 23rd 2015 like it was yesterday. We were sitting in the hospital like the days earlier. She was laying in bed as I was reading her a book. "You wanna know something?" She asked her voice almost inaudible.
"What?"
"Sometimes I imagine that you and me are like people in a book that fall inlove and live happily ever after. I'm jealous of them though, because I will never get my ever after with you." She started crying. "And Payal she wont remember me. "Do me a favour when I'm gone,
Please tell Payal stories, about me so she knows how much I love her and how I will always be proud of her. Because I love nothing more than being her mommy. Nothing. Every moment with her was a happiness I couldn't even imagine until she came crashing into our world.
And dont say I lost to cancer,because it was not a battle, I was living and sometimes life is unfair. Tell her to smile and make remember the memories we made and the fun we had.
Her left hand started trembling she was becoming weaker by the second. "Aarti i think you should rest now. "No Yash i need to say this. I love you more than live itself and I truly believe that a love like ours will live forever. I believe that Payal is our love brought to live.It breaks my heart to have to say goodbye. If it's half as sad for you as it is for me, it breaks my heart over again because the last thing I want to do is to make you sad. I hope with time you could think of me and smile.
You're my world and I loved every second we shared together more than words.
22:03 April 23 2011 Aarti Yash Scindhia passed. Some how I knew that that night we spent together would be her last and In some way guess i accepted it, I certainly was not okey with it, but I knew she was in a much better place.
This is Busi birthday Os. I know I am three months late. But better late than never so happy birthday Lady bee
