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Psycho Analysis
What a beautiful and a realistic episode today. The love and kinda hate between them is brilliantly portrayed. Somewhere today I saw myself in Shravan.Sigh! I am all so in love with the episode.I will be skipping the family parts where She a man do not include each other.
Here is my take on it:
Shravan
He was confused,he had been put through such a state where he was being punished for a crime he did not know about and probably a crime which he hadn't done. He once agin for a umpeeth times with hope filled in him had looked up at her and smiled but was hit back with the same ignorance which acted as a water to growing seed on confusion and pain within him. He had taken enough of the ignorant act and now it was time for him to get his answers,to know a crime which he hadn't done. So while her family stood outside he pulled her gripping her hand with all the force as if trying to tell how hurt he was. But he realized that being harsh won't get him any good so with a soft and an understanding voice he questioned her,asked her what his heart had wanted. It had shot him a bit when she had forgotten about his words but keeping that aside he asked her about the statement she had made once,to which she had said that she had remembered. It had completely taken him in surprise when she casually and blankly said that what had happen if no coffee was there,he could pour himself here. Wasn't she the same person who had literally pulled him and stressed on the word coffee to say his feelings and not just feelings feelings but the real and special feelings?H thought. She was called and without replying to anything she went away not even giving him a glance back. He had had enough. He had possibly done everything he felt was needed to ask her,know her or convince her. If she had decided to stay and ignore and act all weird he could do the same. He would now not run behind her demanding answers when she hadn't cared about giving hers. He promised to himself that he won't let his feelings out until the day she comes to him and stands right on her promise and asks him about his feelings. And he knew that day would come soon,he knew she would realise and he knew he would wait for it.
Pushkar asked him to go to Tiwari Killa. He had definitely denied,he had no courage and no broken pieces of his heart left to be crushed more. But for his family,for his brother's happiness he had accepted it going against himself.( Side note a note the familrity between Sumo and Shravan here,both sacrificing their integral part for their family and family's happiness) The car stooped in Tiwari Kills and with nervousness flowing in his body and his heart beating hard in his chest knowing he would have to cross her,he stepped towards the door. He halted there,deciding on whether to knock or ring a bell,whether to even do the either or not or wait for Candy Bhabhi to come. Sighing deeply and gathering himself up he rang the bell only to be received by her.
And for a moment he was caught,captured by her eyes which commpelled him to forget all the tensions aside and just keep admiring her all day long. He was broken out by his trance when he noticed that she was struggling with the flick that came on her face and his eyes immediately traveled down to her eyes and he noticed that they were dirty. While seeing her struggle his hands had itched to clear off that flick from her face but he his thoughts juggled between a yes and a no. Finally when the juggling stopped at a yes he moved his hands towards his face to help her out but at moment with a simple gesture she made it clear to him that she didn't him around,didn't want him to touch her or didn't want his help at all. And so when Vandy Bhabhi arrived he ignored her and slightly pishing her away made his way inside. He had enough if this torture and he knew it was better than accepting temrorarly than to hurt himself more. It was now his anger and pain that had decided on giving her a tourture making her realize what pain had she put him through. And so he started with his indirect taunting that was directed towards her. The whole family was now settled and Preeti was given the necklace both him and her looked at each other probably with the same thought that how they would be if in a situation like this. But again she ignored him. She was called by Vandy Bhabhi to see the necklace and that adoration that hat lit her eyes up,lit his heart up. He looked up at her and admired the way she admired the necklace probably thinking how she would admire the necklace if he ever have her one. She had stated that she liked emerald better and he was drifted back to the past where he admired her when she had worn the necklace and how she had told him that she liked emeralds and not diamonds. Even as a kid he knew that her eyes lit up with the site of such necklaces and to be the reason behind the lite up he had decided on buying her a necklace. That particular memory had brought a smile on his face,and now he stood admiring the grown up her and imagined how beautiful would she look if he gifted her an emerald necklace ever. To break him out of it he had to be called twice,that was the intensity and passion he had within him for her,for her happiness.
He was asked to click a family picture and he focused on her,it was the only way he could see her without any harm and could observe her without any problem. Though he was a bit angry on her but love is something that no one could stop or can ever stop and so it was same with him. Despite of being angry he didn't want to leave even one chance of admiring/looking/observing her. His taped heart craved for him to love and the other broken part craved for him to ignore her.
Nanaji had asked him about his Delhi friends and he had once again directed a taunt her way. Once she had got the food which he knew was made by her,he immediately stood up and asked for leave and when asked to stay and eat he particullary denied eating. Though he didn't want himself to behave that way,didn't want to hurt her but somewhere he had felt like a broken and pained person and did what they did i. e. Ignore her to show her his pain,his anger and his importance.. In her life.
Suman
She looked up at him again to be met by his smile and she instantly looked away,not having the courage within her to stop herself from melting in front of him.He dragged her with his grip tight and force strong and demanded his answers to which she unwillingly and forcefully gave rude and curt replies hurting him,puropsely,so that he would hate her and stay away from her. Her heart had been beating hard and loud and thankfully to the call by Mamiji it calmed down a bit. She ran away,running away from him,from hurting him and broke a bit when she knew that she was out of his sight. She mentally apologized to him,for hurting him to such extent and not even giving an explanation. But what could she do?How could she tell him that she had chosen tax over love.
She opened the door only to be met by him. Her eyes caught his and they were lost in each other. Forgetting all her problems she looked deep in his eyes gathering up all teh live she could to make her go through the tough times. Her trance was broken when the flick of her hair kept coming on her face and she couldn't do anything as her hands were dirty. But as soon as he picked up his hand to push that hair away not caring about her hand or the consequences she used her hand and pushed it away not giving him even a chance to slightly touch her. She knew if he would once touch her she would loose her self control and been her promise and mold herself inside her. She knew he was extremely disturbed by her actions and particullary the one she did at the moment. But what shocked her was when he ignored her and pushing her slightly made her way into the home. She had expected him to be angry and act but she didn't know could she feel a knot in her heart. She had felt extremely guilty of hurting him now when she knew at what level he had been hurt by her. But she was confined,captured by the chains made of tax,family happiness and promises. Their eyes had met when Preeti had worn the necklace and she knew he too thought what she had thought. It had flinched her a bit. She was shocked a mixture of pain,surprise and uncomfortabilty when he looked at her with such passion and intensity. While he took a picture she tried slightly moving away from Vandy Bhabhi and Preeti in order to not come in his frame,in his mobile camera. But she was caught and pushed back and forced to get a picture clicked that go by his camera when she knew he would look at her.
She brought them snacks and once again was received by a taunt,it had tied a knot inside her heart this time tighter and out of pain and guilt. He left the place without even taking a bite of the food,completely ignoring her,not looking back even for once. This time she was left surprised not just with him but with herself to. She had expected this,she knew that his behaviour was coming soon and it was totally justified but why did she feel the hardest and the tightest knot her heart when he left? Why did she want him to give her one glance? Why did she want him to question her. Why? She thought.
I connected to Shravan so very much today. All the things did by him were/are done by me too at times. And his feelings,hesitation,the love-hate was so beautifully and realisticly written and enacted. Brilliant.
Do leave your views below. All contradictory views welcome.
Thank You.
-Mitali❤️
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