Hi,
Well, the title says it all. What would be your answer? The mirror, or the reflection? Before you skip to the part of answering, let me explain the question in better terms. In the meantime it would give you time to reflect upon your answer and your own opinions...
"You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not."
Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper
What is love after all, when you take off all the bells and whistles, frills and icing? It is a pursuit of happiness, in a way. In general human beings dislikes being alone, shunned from the society, the enjoy attention and falls in to depression at the lack of it. But you don't care for the opinions of the entire universe. There are only a few, no more than a well chosen twenty, whose opinion about you really matters to you. Those are the ones you love. You want them to think of you, you want them to pay heed, care, make gestures of affection and add to the empty places of your life in what you lack and they have as qualities. You make memories with them, to cherish when they are no longer with you, or distanced from you. Why? Because you enjoy recalling that the people you love, used to care, and love you back.
To receive this, to have them around you, you love them back. You pay them attention, you show them affection, you think of them and helps them in every way you can.
That is in simple terms love in plain human world.
So where does this general idea take birth? It is from ones short comings isn't it? The need to have what you don't, is what attracts you to someone who does have them. In another way, it screams that in turn the one we turn to is incomplete themselves. It is us that complete them. That is where the terms, Ying and Yang, better half, Ardangini...comes from. They complete us, in turn we complete them. In other words, both would be incomplete otherwise.
So why it is so hard to accept that, there can be shortcomings in a person?
But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. "
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love
Returning to the original question.
Soul mate is that mirror, in itself it has no reflection. It is empty and meaningless. When you peer in to its depths what you see is yourself staring back. Now either you can fall in love with the knowledge that they show you who you are, or what they show you. It may seem the same thing, but has a world's difference in context.
If you love the reflection it means you love yourself, the way you see it. You imagine the person you love to be a certain persona instead of seeing what they really are and love it. You recoil from the signs of faults to their nature and you turn a blind eye to their mistakes.
You place them at stead so high that they are bound to fall. When they do, it only hurts you more. Perhaps enough to start hating them. Not for any apparent fault but for being themselves and hurting you by shredding the mental image you had of them.
"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not."
Andr Gide, Autumn Leaves
This is my personal opinion. I would rather hate the mirror if I have to, instead of loving the reflection.
Giving you a little pause to think what yours is.
Now coming to the true intention of this post. Why is it so hard for us fans to accept that neither part of our OTP is flawless? Why do we turn a blind eye to their mistakes and always find, even illogical ways of redeeming then, when the plain fact is staring at us?
Why do we recoil from opinions that are different to ours? Recoiling is one thing, why do we openly attack them? Is it necessary to turn violent just because someone dents our imagined reflection?
Fiction is always based on real life and vice versa at some points. There is no need for someone to be utterly perfect to be worthy of admiration. Why can't one simply accept it? Faults are pointed out, in a peaceful away, in hope of correcting them. That is the process of growth. If one expresses their displeasure at a certain twist, or a certain behavior of a character, that is viewer's feedback and CVs would gladly accept it. Then why do we bother?
On the other hand, the last question for the day. Does one's mistake, justifies another's? If one character is ruined, is it valid to think...great now the other should be ruined too. And if the other is ruined, it's okay because there was another ruined first? Is this really the thought process leading to any development, or a discussion that yields some sort of material for the future creations? For me it sounds purely illogical.
Lastly, I did not write this to lecture anyone. It is a simple declaration of opinion openly. I would invite you to do the same...but in a civil manner as the discussion requires. No weapons hurled at anyone, or any insults to any fictional or non fictional persona is neither intended or invited.
My opinion,
I did not find Sanskar justifiable in the maalkin track. Neither do I find Swara justifiable in her dialogs or behavior here. I see faults and I'm pointing them out. What we had served on our plates was not what the menu promised. We were lead to believe this was a fairy tale lovestory, a cosmic connection...where one felt the other's emotions from a distance of miles. I'm seeing the same washing away before my eyes and I object to this destruction openly. So I wished there should be certain steps taken, certain emotions shown, discussions portrayed where both Swara and Sanskar would look back at their actions and feel something...amiss. I did want Swara to feel guilty, for she had forgotten a huge part of her life and caused pain for someone who she loves so deeply. I would have, if I went through the same and would have done something that lifts the burden off my heart and eases my breath. Then I feel the beauty of what I come to love would be restored in some quantity.
Thanks for reading.
Love,
Sakura
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Arjun
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Anupamaa
