What is the limit in accepting certain relationships?

Originally posted by: xPalkix

Thanks you for not being judgmental towards Dheera, this topic is rather nice in that it is not provoking bashing but simply an interesting discussion 👍🏼 No problem, I too have seen some of the bashing posts in this forum and IMO, they are tasteless. I honestly had this doubt in my mind, and was wondering how many people would support a couple who is like Dheera in real life.

I personally don't feel there is anything wrong with Dheera anymore, not the age and not the FIL issue either. The presence of Durga did irk me but she is not in the picture anymore which makes me ship Dheera even more.

Btw incest in my definition, is when couples have blood relation which Dheera do not have. Yes, I do think blood has a big role in incestuous relationships, but certain relationships after marriage are pretty strong too. Personally, I would not marry anyone who has a relationship with me whatsoever, either through blood or marriage, but that's just me.

What if in the future, a boy marries a woman who is his mother-in-law in relation? You mean his wife's mother? Then I would not object IF they truly live each other and the wife either doesn't object or isn't in the picture. What do you mean by "doesn't object"? What if the wife is still married to him, and he fell in love with her mother? Wouldn't that be not only awkward, but also legally invalid?

What if a girl wants to marry her uncle? This would be incest in my eyes. And personally, I do not approve blood related couples but I cannot force my opinion on someone else who does not see anything wrong in it. As long as it isn't hurting anybody then what is the problem? For example, my friend is Muslim and her sister is married to her cousin and I wouldn't judge. My cousin is also married to her cousin which I personally did not like but again, who am I to judge?

What if a girl wants to marry her own father, or vice versa?? But love between a father and daughter has a different meaning compared to love between a couple. This is where I would draw the line, not to impose limitations on love but because this relationship has a different meaning of love. But then again, I do not know anyone experiencing this so cannot honestly form a balanced view. I'd feel this is going above and beyond. This is exactly what I mean. I guess father/daughter example was bad, as I haven't ever heard of anyone actually falling "in love" with their father, that's just sick on all levels. I do believe in love, and I also believe in supporting love, but at the same time, shouldn't society pose at least some restrictions on relationships? If there were absolutely no restrictions whatsoever, wouldn't humans become barbarians after some time? To live in a civilized society, there needs to be a balance between freedom and restrictions, that is what I believe, but the question is, who decides those restrictions?

And if I ever know someone close in the same position as Dheera then I would not mind. As long as they are both good hearted people who love each other. Wouldn't relationships between their children become awkward? For example, would Vidya's child call Meera Daadi or Maasi? On the one hand, I do believe people have the right to fall in love with whoever they want, but on the other hand, I feel that people should honor family relationships as they are, you know?

Originally posted by: munnihyderabad

Good points to discuss Janaki,

I have a slightly different perspective to it, from what I see, Meera is elder sister to Vidya , and elder sister, is synonymous and equivalent to a mother's position... For Vidya, Dharam is Father in Law, meaning father, if he wants to marry her elder sister , who is more in position of mom.. the relation is not wrong per se. If mom(elder sis) becomes mom-in-law, or if father-in-law, marries your sister and becomes jiju, who again, is more like a father.. then I personally don't think there is anything morally or legally wrong .

The age difference never really was a point of concern for me.

Love surpasses all ? I can't say much about this in real life context... but the fictional writers never make people fall in love where they cannot justify their jodi "morally, legally, ethically "

Originally posted by: ..RamKiJanaki..

Personally, I would not marry anyone who has a relationship with me whatsoever, either through blood or marriage, but that's just me. - That's cool and I don't see anything wrong with this opinion. Even I feel the same way about blood relations. I only have an issue when people try to force their beliefs/opinions on others.

What do you mean by "doesn't object"? What if the wife is still married to him, and he fell in love with her mother? Wouldn't that be not only awkward, but also legally invalid?

By 'doesn't object', I mean that the wife gives her consent. Not like Durga who expected Dharam to still be in a relationship with her and at the same time, did not object to Dheera. I don't mean that because that is mocking the meaning of a marriage.

If a man or a women fell out if love for whatever reasons, the best thing would be to talk and try to amend things. However, if that is not the solution then I don't see the point of the marriage any longer. If the person falls for another then that person should let their partner and themselves escape from a crowded marriage and separate. If the person continues to be in a loveless marriage and at the same time, loves another then that is obviously wrong. Said the same thing for Dharam when Durga was alive.

This is exactly what I mean. I guess father/daughter example was bad, as I haven't ever heard of anyone actually falling "in love" with their father, that's just sick on all levels. I do believe in love, and I also believe in supporting love, but at the same time, shouldn't society pose at least some restrictions on relationships? If there were absolutely no restrictions whatsoever, wouldn't humans become barbarians after some time? To live in a civilized society, there needs to be a balance between freedom and restrictions, that is what I believe, but the question is, who decides those restrictions?

Of course. For example, some people marry their dogs (actually heard this on the news) and well the irrationality of this case speaks for itself. I think instead of placing restrictions on anything, people should try to understand each other and then give their opinions. Restrictions will never work 100%. Especially for love which is something innocent and pure so I would prefer to treat it like a child. If a child cries you give it food, you do not slap it.

If the child continues to cry then you give it a toy. If it still carries on you do something else to make sure it calms down. Most people would think child needs food to quieten down but it might be something you never thought of. In Saathiya I remember Meera would only stop crying if Rashi did something to entertain her. If Rashi was someone Gopi absolute hated then would it be acceptable for Gopi to let Meeta cry just to avoid Rashi becoming close to the baby?

Wouldn't relationships between their children become awkward? For example, would Vidya's child call Meera Daadi or Maasi? On the one hand, I do believe people have the right to fall in love with whoever they want, but on the other hand, I feel that people should honor family relationships as they are, you know?

Things can become awakened at any time. Even if a couple is perfect, their families might not like each other and that can cause awkwardness, but that shouldn't become a hurdle in the couples lives. I think we just want everything to be simple and that is why we don't like it when things change or people do unconventional things because it challenges our views, something no one likes. Life is never going to be straightforward so it's better to adapt and adopt new changes. You don't always have to agree but if you can treat any situation with ease then that will only benefit you as a person. In my opinion anyway.

Personally, I'd like the CVs to create a back story in which it is revealed that Shravan is not Dharam's son but actually his younger brother, that Dharam's father had an affair with a much younger woman who gave birth to an illegitimate son (after Dharam and Durga's marriage), and that Dharam and Durga adopted him as their son so that Gaura doesn't kill the baby out of anger.

I would be far more comfortable with Dheera's relationship if only he wasn't Vidya's FIL. Otherwise, the age doesn't really matter to me.