Daydreams or Nightmares--both are destined to be doomed!
I love you.
But I can't be in love with you.
Nowadays, I always fear,
Whenever I hold your stare,
When you look into my eyes
You can see through all of my lies.
All of my deceptions and deceits,
Are now open to you,
to get punished.
I want Revenge so badly in this life,
that I never see love of my life.
You!! as the reason and purpose of my life.
Now, when, I know the whole truth about you and me.
That you and I are always meant to be.
You and I are connected by births and rebirths,
As is the wish of Heaven and Earth!
Our fate and destiny always brings us together,
As if we are the other half to each other.
As if we are the one soul that gets two hearts,
That can feel all the pain & pleasure, poison and elixir, sorrow and joy
For each other.
I am and shall be grateful to my Shivji,
That he has chosen you for my everything,
He has given me you as the boon and blessings
Of my 100 years of tapasya.
You are the fruit of my life long penance.
Just like Ma Gauri is and will be...
Eternally to my Lord, my Shivji for being his wife and stand beside her Shivji!
But I am not like Ma Gauri,
Who is always with her Shivji.
I can't be with you
As I am not like you.
I am of a different birth,
Yet I am destined to be yours in all my births.
I have poisons all over me,
Within me.
So strong, so intense that it can burn this whole world.
So inevitable and beautiful that it turns A Nightmare like me,
Into A sweet Daydream for you.
To extract revenge I try to play
The game of Love!
Every time I win, I lose a little bit of me to you.
Now every bit of my existence belongs to you.
But still I can't stay with you.
Because Nightmare and Daydreams,
They all are just dreams.
And Dreams are destined to be doomed!
No matter how true they become.
Today I get the confession from her! I am complete and content with happiness, brimming with joy. Finally Shivanya has told me that SHE LOVES ME. Also SHE HAS LEFT ME. Now I can understand why true love is always painful. Because after the dreams are shattered one can be free from all the lies he was leaving till then, just like me. I finally know who I am really. I now can see the truth as whole, out of all shadows and covers from all those nightmares and daydreams. As nightmares and daydreams are just dreams, they are destined to be doomed no matter how true they become. But truth can never be shattered or hidden. No matter how much everyone try to. And I know what my truth is"it is where is Shivanya. And I need to find her, accept her and bring her back to in to my life. When dreams are broken, it hurts like hell but if your truth is denied and gone away, all your life seems a lie, a deception. There is nothing left for your existence. And I don't want to live that life again. So I will pursue her, find till my last breath if that is what it takes. But she can't go away from me like this...NEVER.
Arjun
