That night La restlessly tossed and turned on the bed. Akash first groaned in his sleep, then feeling the agitation in the body next to him opened his drugged eyes. Turning to her side, he found her staring something ahead. Following her gaze, he found her focused on a particular photo frame among the numerous others that adorned the opposite wall.
Their wall of memory as La fondly called it. It had all the photos that reminded them of their journey since they met three years back in an uneventful day as two collogues. Some unforgettable moment, some memorable events and few important persons in their life looked back at them whenever their eyes traveled to that wall.Like right now Lavanya's unwavering gaze peered into one of those memories that had been captured and secured to remind them of that one person who had engraved her mark in all their lives. She was the sister his wife never had. She was the friend he could never make and she was the life of his brother.
In that photo, she had a rare smile which had lit her whole face. She was looking towards something that had her captivated and enthralled to such an extent that she had not noticed him taking her picture. Yeah, it was him, who had clicked the photo when she was busy admiring his brother playing football with a bunch of kids and arguing over a foul. Hmm, his brother had it in him that time. Argue with kids like one himself. .
Khushi, she was different. Silent kind, minding her own business, satisfied till she looked presentable and not caring a hoot what other thought about her. Maybe her indifferent attitude that had her appear intriguing to them and had them all a little fascinated.by her. Well, most of all.
He found her wise and easy to talk, a good friend indeed. For La, she had known her before them. They were more of soul sisters who knew each other through and through, and for his brother she was a challenge at first because she was maybe the first girl who didn't find ASR attractive, meaning, she didn't flounder or hyperventilate in his first sight, like most others of her gender and he was adamant on cracking the tough nut. Later she had become the boon of his life. Therefore, her death shook them all like no other tragedy.
The tough lady lying beside him cried till she had no tears left. He had felt like he had lost a family. But above all of their grief, it was his brother's face that pierced his heart every day. He looked like a person burning in hell. A perpetual shadow of melancholy residing in him. From then on Life was like following a routine to him rather than living. The hopeless air around his brother made him feel helpless more often than not.
Life was still going fine. Living, being akin to a habit that they couldn't just throw away because an integral part of their lives was missing. But Aby reappearance had stirred the hornet's nest. He had felt it this evening. His brother's slip, La's stormy look, and Anjali's fidgetiness nothing had missed from his eyes. And now his wife wide-awakeness even after a tiring day at work staring at her photo confirmed his doubt that Aby's one visit has brought the past to shadow their present.
Akash moved his head atop his wife's pillow, who turned her face to look at him in the eye.
"Hey", Akash croaked in his sleep induced husky voice. He stretched his arm and she readily moved in his protective hold. He didn't miss her misty eyes but he chose not to comment. His wife doesn't do well when caught in her vulnerable moments and he would rather comfort her than making her embarrassed.
"Missing her", he asked after few minutes of companionable silence.
"A lot, she paused to take a gulp of air, every day." She murmured. "I miss talking nonsense while she listened patiently, I miss sharing my troubles when she would hear also give her unprejudiced view, I miss being crazy once in a while and she would balance it out with her calmness, I miss our girl times where she would let her hair down and enjoy, I miss her wise cracks, I miss her soothing silence, I miss her like I never missed anyone." Quiet tears slid down her face as she breathed out to keep herself from choking.
For a moment Akash was taken aback by her outburst, it was very unlike La. He had seen her losing control like this only once two years back but then that time was like that caught- in- nightmare kind.
He checked himself in time before she could sense his slip and gave her soothing kiss top of her head.
"What happened, babe? Why after all these time?" he couldn't help but ask. "Is it that you met Aby today?
La wondered what she would tell Akash? True, that Aby was the reason that she was plagued by her memories today. The only difference was today she wasn't mourning. Until today, she knew she had lost her but now if what Aby told is true then she was again to see her soon. She was overwhelmed actually. She doesn't know what to think, feel. It was one thing to accept someone gone for your life to never come back but to know the same person back from the dead literally was quite a blow. Truth or false, the anticipation was killing and to top it off she couldn't go after Aby uncaring about the outcome of her nightly adventure and shake her address out of him.
"La." Akash called to get her attention finding her lost.
She hummed in reply before she sighed out "Yeah, we were being used to living without mentioning her but with Aby it was like a reality check that we could never fill the void her disappearance created. As much we try to show we have accepted and moved on but we are only fooling ourselves. Weren't we?" she turned to find Akash nod little lost himself. Maybe that's why he didn't catch that La never said death but disappearance.
The photo, it reminded him of the little interaction he had with Khushi that day
She was smiling to herself seeing Arnav engaged in a cute quarrel with the bunch of 7-8 years old.
He had claimed foul when a kid had put her foot on his way and he had toppled over whilst he attempted to dribble the ball to the opponent team's goal area. La who agreed to be their referee was trying to cool the situation down unsuccessfully as none backed out from their claim. She huffed in annoyance glaring at Arnav who winked back and encouraged to keep the fight going.
She realized that he was enjoying being Narad to La's predicament who tried to separate the sibling duo rolling on the mud limbs tangled engaged in a catfight.
Never in a million year would La have thought it will be this difficult to manage a pair of twins when Anjali and Shyam went for a much-needed break. Saiyu and Anay are two lovely 7 years old kids, but when they decided to be difficult God help the bearer of their tantrums, they could be a mean force to reckon with and La was just given a taste of it. Well, she had called it upon herself.
When Shyam and Anjali had asked someone to volunteer to take charge of the kids while they went for a day outing on a Sunday morning Arnav and Akash had backed out like they had been asked to walk on burning coals. La, who thought what the heck, and didn't care to take the hint that came from Akash took charge of the kids making the two men shake their head in resignation. For them, they knew she didn't know what she was signing up for and she ought to come to them asking for help and being the gentlemen they were they would help no matter what. So there, a nice lazy Sunday plan went down the drain.
She had watched this entire drama with an amused smile plaster on her face and the smile refused to leave her face even now, only getting wider when she watched La and Arnav bickering and Saiyu, Anay watching them, forgetting their fight for their teams, interestingly.
Suddenly she found a can of coke thrust under her nose. As she followed the hand to the face of the person she saw Akash grinning at her. She took the can nodding her thanks to him. Opening it she sipped the cold liquid thirstily. It was a hot afternoon and even though she was sitting under the shade of one of the few Gulmohar trees that the vast lawn of Shantivan hosted the heat was starting to get to her. She wondered how the kids and Arnav playing in this heat in the middle of the lawn where there was nothing to shade them from the blazing sun but then they were energetic kids and the man in question always claimed that he is so cool. There she found her answer. she chuckled silently at her own amusing thoughts when she heard Akash speak.
She wondered how the kids and Arnav playing in this heat in the middle of the lawn where there was nothing to shade them from the blazing sun but then they were energetic kids and the man in question always claimed that he is so cool. There she found her answer. she chuckled silently at her own amusing thoughts when she heard Akash speak.
"Care to share the joke?"
She shook her head to mean nothing and he asked casually "When are you telling Him?"
She frowned and turned to him the remnant of mirth still lingering in the corners of her mouth. Her raised eyebrows were equivalent to a questioning what so Akash cleared "that you love him."
She inhaled a lungful air and let it out of her system before she denied looking him in the eye, "I don't." It was her technique to compose herself before she could lie confidently.
In response Akash one eyebrow rose mockingly followed by his "Really." After a pause, he continued, "Give me some credit darling. I do have a little observation skill along with little gray cell in here (he poked his skull with the pointer) even if you want to argue otherwise."
Sipping the cold drink from the can coolly he added in equal measure "It is not just the Raizada tag that made me COO of AR you know." and winked cheekily.
She stared him little dazedly after his oh so smart crack and then shook her head smiling enigmatically before picking a little dust in her left hand from the ground.
Akash followed her movement as she leaned back on the tree trunk and stretched both her hands on her knees that were drawn closer to her chest.
She spoke while her eyes were fixed on her left hand that held the dirt lightly so was Akash's, curious ones, "We all want things from life that make us happy, very happy. But that doesn't mean that we all get what we want because my dear (she turned to face him) few of us were not meant to dream and if we do then it slips out of our hand as and when we try to hold on to it." Akash watched as she closed her fist and soon enough the dry earth slipped away within the little space between her fingers like she said.
He understood the comparison but not the reason behind her such belief. Why would she think that Arnav would slide away from her grasp, that she wasn't meant to dream a life with him? She has to have some strong reason for such conviction. But what could get wrong if Arnav and her come closer? Is there anything she is hiding that's making her hold back?
So he voiced his concern, "What makes you say that Khushi?"
Keeping the can aside she held his gaze so intently that he felt his heart doubling in it's beats as if she was going to reveal something unholy and his anticipation accelerated when she opened her mouth after much contemplation and whispered, "My time of the month."
It took Akash some time to grasp what she had said by the time Khushi was already on her feet. and when he bellowed a "WHAT" quite comically she explained with utmost sincerity "often makes me philosophical" tongue in cheek. She chuckled inaudibly seeing his bewildered expression.
Dusting the dirt from her narrow jeans after finishing the drink in one large swig she kept the can near Akash. As Akash looked on little miffed she winked at him before sauntering to the still arguing adult kids, shouting and gesturing time out.
Grimacing, he was about to follow her with the drinks he had brought for others when suddenly his mobile dropped which he had tucked haphazardly in his jean pocket before approaching her. He picked it up and saw the screen unlocked. It showed the picture he had captured a while back unknown to her.
Even tonight when he examined the same photo of her he knew like the other day that it was not her period hormone that made her philosophical. There was something the way she had said that she was not meant to dream made him wonder, what it was that bothered her enough to hold back her such undiluted love for his brother, who loved her too much and never shied away from confessing time and again, he will never know.
Akash sighed and turned to face La who had already fallen asleep. He pecked her forehead before drifting off to sleep.
***
"Hey, you look beautiful." Arnav husked.
She let her eyebrows rose, amused. She doubted if she hardly looked presentable. Her shirt had mud stains. Her jeans would need a whole day soaking to get rid of the dirt and she was sure her face looked no better with all the sweating she had done since she had joined the kids for the game.
"What? I thought women need to hear her man say such things often" He bit his lower lip smiling the lop sided smile that she liked secretly, "it boosts their ego I heard."
"Hmm, I see." She sighed and traced her finger on his lips, freeing it from the pressure of his teeth.
Arnav closed his eyes drawing a deep breath. Her touch does this to him. Make him feel ignited and relaxed at the same time if that was possible. It was like his body gets extra sensitive when she touches. And the minx knows that well.
He chanced upon a short glimpse at her simpering face as she slowly moved her fingers south. Her both hand at work now. Slowly moving them on his chest lingering extra time near his nipples but deliberately avoiding touching them, moving down to his belly button and circling it tracing the area around with just the finger tips.
She was playing with him. Playing with the effect her touch had on him. His deep sighs are total give away of his state. But he didn't want to overtake, drag her under him to show her who is the man. Because lying here under the Gulmohar keeping his head on her lap fully clothed he was at bliss. Sweetly tortured yet peacefully contended in their quality time after a very eventful afternoon with kids, Akash and La, who by the God's grace had decided to move inside the house totally drained.
Arnav himself was dead tired yet he didn't want to go in and had dragged her here with him to spend some time just lying aimlessly.
Finding him looking at her with his drugged eyes she smiled genuinely and stopped her hands from going any further. She slowly patted his eyes close which looked little droopy and combed his hair with her fingers.
Arnav smiled with his eyes closed her action lulling him to a peaceful slumber. But in his sedated state he missed to register that she never denied when he playfully said that he was her man and in her silence she accepted that his compliment meant something.
She sat there making patterns on his chest with her finger while he snoozed like a baby.
Until date, Arnav couldn't fathom how she managed to sit straight unmoving for two hours just so he could sleep peacefully. He still remembered when he had woken up rejuvenated after a satisfying nap he had found her sitting in the same way whilst he was awake. How awful he had felt then. He had apologized and asked her why she didn't wake him up.
She simply smiled and said "It's okay Arnav. you were sleeping not doing any crime that I needed to shake you up and moreover it is not good to let someone deny his peaceful sleep. I have kind of enjoyed watching you sleep like a baby."
Arnav had felt the heat in his ears and was sure that they had turned pink. Her chuckle had only confirmed.
Her face still lit with the soft smile that he adored she tried in her way to divert him from his embarrassment "Now drop that sorry expression and help me up, my legs feel dead." which wasn't at all a lie.
"Naturally" he had muttered and rather helping her up he picked and carried her till the back door before she had started protesting and demanded him to put her down that she can walk.
A bitter snort escaped him as he murmured "and then you said you don't love me."
**
From her vantage point, Anjali watched her brother coming out from the unlit corner of the lawn carrying that girl to the back door entrance and then she said something which made him put her down. She saw her stumble to get her footing and he held her gingerly as she straightened. By the look of the two, they looked disheveled and she could only guess what would have happened in the dark corners of their lawn. Her brother was outrageously infamous as the rich man about town, for nothing.
Sighing she closed the little gap in between the curtains and moved away from the window. She sat down on the rocking chair letting it sway her gently.
She knew her brother and had learned a long back to hear the scandals that circled him usually with a pinch of salt. The twenty or more fling/affair he was claimed to be involved in couldn' t be true even if he had all the time in the world in thirty years old self only if he hadn't started indulging in since birth, since after running AR successfully with Akash and Shyam's help including quality times spent with family he hardly had time for a single girl. But that didn't mean she believed it to be all false. Because one thing she believed in if nothing, that there is no smoke without fire.
So yeah, she knew her brother was a sober player.
If anyone had asked her why being a mother figure to him she tolerated this and hadn't tried to leash him, at least, tried to get him married, she would say she also believed in the proverb 'live and let live'. So until she didn't see any harm there was nothing wrong to let him enjoy his life the way he dimmed fit.
Yes, he was a playboy but the girls who got involved with him also knew what they were signing up for so why she should lose her hair worrying. Whatever people thought of him she knew he was a gentleman. He would not drag a woman to bed without her approval also, never would treat a woman like a doormat. She had done pretty good job in instilling some healthy morals in that stubborn head and she was deservedly proud of her achievement.
The one thing she had hoped for, in all these casual flings he would one day find the one woman with whom he would willingly take the vows and want to spend a whole life.
But it seemed that in this entire thinking process she had overlooked one vital point, what if his brother's choice wasn't hers, what if she found that she didn't like the person whom her brother want to make his life partner.
Well, time to think had arisen. She could very well see her brother had made his choice and he is as much serious as he could be in this matter.
By her own resolution she should be happy shouldn't she? But the problem was she wasn't.
There is something about the girl, Khushi, that made her hesitant to accept her as his brother's future. She couldn't pinpoint but something was off about that girl.
Even though she was Lavanya's friend, and she liked La for Akash, the girl is perfect for him, matched his spirit and fervor for life and pretty good in nature, she couldn't approve Khushi.
The girl was a feat. Aloof, cold, devil-may-care kind. Nothing she had that could convince her a percent that she could be a match for her brother and for the life of her she couldn't understand why her brother found that girl attractive.
For a believer of quite a number proverb, Anjali forgot the most common phrase used among the believers of love beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
Khushi may not have possessed all the qualities of a perfect woman for her man but she was all that her brother needed to live, but she understood it very late... very, very late, she rued, as she reminisced the time sitting in the same place like all those years back.
Anjali's heartbeat increased all over again as she remembered Aby's blank stare. She regretted her deed and she was scared what if others come to know about it, she would lose all her precious bonds above all her brother who she had literally brought up all by herself like a mother and who had loved and respected her no less than one.
**
"Come child meet your parents."
The small child looked wide-eyed to the smiling good looking couple ahead her before turning her head to the kind-eyed sister who took care of every child of the orphanage along with others like her to best of their capabilities.
She liked it here. She knew she would not get her real parents back for she had heard her father's cry of pain while dying and her mother had drowned before her very eyes. She was desperately trying to cling to her when the increasing water had started to suffocate and she had left her hand to clutch on to the floating torn tire and her mother had sunk deep to never resurface.
She shuddered as she relived her nightmare once again.
So then when they were already dead how come these people become her parents. She doesn't want a new set of parents. From last 8-9 months, she had gotten used to living here. She had made friends. Started learning once again. The sisters here loved her, not like her Ma, still. She is happy here then why they want her to leave.
Hence, she protested. She cried and clung to Sister Martha asking her to not send her off. She doesn't want to.
Martha tried her best to make the poor child understand that she was one among the lucky ones who is going to get a chance to the life that had been snatched away by fate from her, once again. Love and care of parents, good education, bright future these are everything the children of this orphanage dream for and this silly girl is all ready to throw that precious opportunity away.
Eventually, she succeeded to convince the little precious bundle with the help of senior members of the orphanage and the couple who came to take her that a beautiful life is awaiting her if only she took the first step out of this place.
Aleen Grover, 7, that day walked away from The Precious Orphanage with her new parents who promised her a fairy tale life ahead.
A hollow laugh reverberated in a shabby room of a notorious slum in some corner of the same town.
If only Sister Martha knew what her loving parents turned out to be. Dealers in Child trafficking.
The beating.
The hunger.
The begging.
The abuse.
And the ultimate sale.
A f*cking fairytale indeed.
**
Anupamaa
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