MaNan SS||*New Life with Shrink*||Chap 14:pg 85(22-04) - Page 27

Originally posted by: shaan...

Awesome update...
but wen r they gonna meet???

Newyz luved it...

Plz continue soon...
Waiting eagerly...

Take care...

Stay blessed...

Originally posted by: UggliBuggli

hahaha!! true with my pranks!🤣

But cockroaches and lizards scare the shit out of me!🤢

Originally posted by: cmamona

Res res res
Unress...
Sorry for being late... But u know I love to read ur story in complete silence...
Aese jaldi jaldi nahi... Ki bas update hai chalo pado Aur katam karo... I love to read it aaram se... Isliye itna tym lagta hai...
Hehehehe...
And thank you for writing big comments toh madam isme bhi humari koi galti nahi...
Areee itni awsmstically sab kuch penned down karogi... Toh hum Kaha jayenge... Abh chappy me Jo Jo cheze achii lagaegi toh tareeefff toh banti hai na boss...

Now about the chappy...
Chotu tha chappy... 😭
But koi na... I will adjust this tym but next tym thoda Bada...
And the praising is what u deserve to write this awsm story...

Awwwhhh manik missess nandu on jogging track...
Here there was a Strom in her life...
She was scared... Of what she didn't knew...
I don't like how her mother is behaving... She is acting all normal...
The condition u showed of nandani was marvellous...
Beautifully penned down... Word to word... Awsm...
Nw what's coming...
I m so egar to know...

Waiting egarly...
Update soon

Keep smiling
Stay blessed

Originally posted by: noor.21

When will they meet. God this story is confusing me.

Originally posted by: Drashtiii

begining of the ailment that she have

which i am going to reveal soon..

everyone gets scared to some extent but hers is differernt one..

ha hamna ghare gai ti ne tyare doctor pase gaya tyare ene kahyu migraine che..

i dont know whta sthe remedy about it..

"I come in the category of...Hum pagal nai hai bhaiyya...humara dimag kharab hai🤣" this one really cracked me up a big time..

nandu's parents will know soon may be in the next update..

haye manik jode tne bv love ma interest aava lagyo che..

hmm.. kuch toh hua hai...kuch ho gaya haii..

Originally posted by: mishshergill

Ressyyy<3

Ps- hiee drasti... Thanx for constant pms... I am reserving my posts so that i can fill them up once done with the updates of the ss!
And yes! I did see yiu are really creatong confusion with him and her thing...rofl!!! Hahahahhaaa!
U are doing a great job so far sweety!
Good luck princess<3

Pss- expect me soon!<3

Hey lovelies

Thanks to all readers

Those who are expecting MaNan after 2 3 updates

Enjoy

Chapter 6B

End Or Determination

Blackness now descended around me like a cloak. I seemed unable to look beyond it. The fear was gone but it was replaced by a depressing feeling which made my heart feel like it weighed a ton.

I had classes at college the next day and I did not want to go.

"you will feel better tomorrow" My Dad's words echoed in my ears.

I hoped he was right. I spent the rest of the day in my room, just lying on my bed. I did not feel like reading, I did not feel like making notes, I did not feel like running or writing poetry. Everything that I used to fill my hours with earlier, I did not feel like doing and so I didn't.

Manik's POV

"Nandu is not in the college too!!!" I was wanderening with my own mind.

I was actually feeling very restless since I didn't saw her in the morning too so I am here at her college to atleast check if she was fine. But here to I am disappointed as I saw her but she was nowhere to be found. Should I ask them? No ! if they who am I to her then.? No no I cant I hope she comes to jog tomorrow.

Nandini's POV

But the next day too I did not feel any better. Again I stayed at home.

Joseph called up that evening to find out why I had not come to college and my mother picked up the phone. She said I could not come to the phone and I was not well. She also told him that there was no need to call again.

By the fourth day, when I had not gone to college, I knew something was wrong. My parents too sensed it. But none of us were willing to face it. We hoped it would just go away.

I had tried to fool myself and fool my parents as well, assuring them that I was fine. I had told them I would be okay in a few days. They had believed me. I too had believed myself. After all, it was indeed just what I felt and it was all in my head.

I stayed at home for a week more and by then it was clear to me that I was not in any position to go back to my course. I did not tell my parents what I had realised.Unknown to them, the same panic attacks that came earlier had happened two more times, when I had tried to think about going back to my college.

The blackness was now a permanent thing. It surrounded me all the time, refusing to go away. The void was a permanent feature. It was like I was dead from inside. I was totally the opposite of what I had been a few weeks back. I did not feel any inclination to run. I felt no interest in my management books. I felt no interest in anything. I looked at the poems I had written earlier. I tried to make myself feel some passion, to stir in myself some kind of feeling, to push myself to be what I used to be. But I failed. Miserably. No words came. No thoughts came.

The last straw came when I tried to read. I picked up a book which lay on my table, which I had bought, a long time back, while I was in Cochin, intending to read it. It was Arthur Hailey's Hotel. I opened it and tried to read it. It gave me a rude jolt. I was shocked to discover that by the time I reached the end of a sentence I could not remember what was at the beginning. I tried again. Then once more. And yet again. I just could not believe it. Along with my words, I seemed to have lost the ability to read and comprehend too.

Then, I opened my file of colour coded notes that I had so meticulously made. I tried reading them. I could not read even beyond a paragraph. I had no idea what they meant. I would read the same sentence over and over without comprehending a single thing. It was as though my mind could focus only on one word for a very brief period, perhaps a few seconds and the next second, it had forgotten it. The words vanished from my mind like the chalk writings on a blackboard being wiped clean. I seemed to no longer have any control over them. Then I opened the Kotler book and a feeling of nausea flooded me. I looked at the marketing jargon and felt sick.

I tried one more time. It was simply no use. It was like somebody had switched off some important part of my brain which controlled reading, comprehension and even thinking. I felt like a broken toy. I feel worthless. I don' t know what is happening to me and why I am feeling this way. I don' t want to tell all this to my parents. They have high hopes about me. They are so proud of me and if I drop out, they really will have no face to show the people to whom they so proudly boasted of my achievements.

(Writer's note: This was the reason why I mentioned the starting chapters, could you relate now?!!)

This is frightening, this world without words, this world of darkness and void. I don' t want to be here anymore. I want to make it stop. I remember the paper cutting knife again. I take it and this time I want to hurt myself really bad. I want to kill this pain inside me which refuses to go away. I want to feel better.

I want to give this pain a physical form. I walked in to the bathroom along with knife.

I don't know from where and how all of a sudden my dad came into my bathroom and he was shocked to see me pulling such an act. He tried to grab the knife from me. I resisted with all my might and I swung my right hand which had the knife, trying to push him away with my left. The knife made a cut all across my left forearm, extending from the back of the arm, almost at the centre, running diagonally across it, ending just near the wrist. The sight of blood shocked my mother who had come rushing out of her bedroom, hearing the commotion.

"WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE YOU TRYING TO DO?" screamed my dad. There was shock, pain and grief in his voice.

"Oh my God, Oh My God. What has happened to her?" repeated my mother over and over again. She was crying.

Strangely I was feeling a little relieved that the focus of the pain could now be shifted to elsewhere. My dad applied the astringent to the cut on my arm and covered the cut with cotton. He tied a crepe bandage around it to make the blood stop.

I never felt more alone that night as I lay on my bed, sleep still evading me. My parents would not leave me alone after that. They took turns watching me. They did it out of concern. They were genuinely worried. But I felt like a prisoner.

Finally on the fourth night I promised them I would never ever do it again. My dad wanted me to agree to accompany him to the psychiatrist. I was too beaten to even argue and that was how I found myself that morning, outside the clinic, wearing a full sleeved shirt to hide the scar on my left arm.

The doctor was a woman called Mukta(not mukti guys) Nagraj who looked very young. She wore a saree and her short hair was neatly styled. She seemed to take great pride in her numerous academic qualifications as the wall behind her was decorated with various medical degrees from various colleges all over the world. I was least interested in meeting her. I was doing this only for my parents' sake.

"Hello, Good morning. You must be Nandini" she greeted me glancing at the list of appointments she had in her diary which was open at her desk.

I did not respond. Her manner was fake, her smile was professional and it appeared as though she was genuinely concerned. But I could see through it. I hated the sight of her. My dad explained to her that we had recently moved from Cochin. He explained how I had got into one of the most coveted management schools in Mumbai. He told her about how bright I was academically, how I had won the elections. Then he explained how I was doing well academically in the Management course too but how I was now reluctant to go back. I was grateful that he did not mention the incident with the knife.

She listened carefully and then told my parents that she wanted to speak to me in private. They said they would wait outside.

She looked at me and smiled again. I looked at her sullenly.

"Can you answer a few questions for me Nandini?"

I want to hit you so hard that the stupid smirk on your face vanishes forever.

"Yes."

"Have you been sleeping well lately?"

What concern is that of yours, bitch?

"Not as well as before."

She quizzed me endlessly. Had I been eating well? Had I enjoyed the course? What other things was I interested in? How did I feel about the move? Did I miss my old life? If I had a chance to go back to Cochin, would I like to? What did I feel about travelling in trains in Mumbai? Was it a huge change to shift from a small place to a big town? I answered in monosyllables. I was angry about my life being pried open like this.

Then she asked me something which I had no monosyllabic answer for.

"If you don't mind, could you tell me if you were romantically involved with someone?"

One is dead(HIM), one is madly in love(Vaibhav) with me and one would be wondering right now what is happening and why he isn' t able to get in touch with me and would be desperate to talk to me.(Joseph)

"No," I lied.

There was no way I was telling this smirking condescending woman my life story. What would she do? Advise me and everything would be all right? I would feel instantly better and go back to my course?

She did not advise me at all. She did something worse. She asked if I was okay with taking a few psychological tests. She said it would help her in her analysis.

"Okay," she said. "I am going to show you a few images and I want you to tell me what you associate with them as soon as you see them. Just don't think too much about them. Just tell me what you feel they could be as soon as you see them. I will be writing down whatever you say. These are for my notes. Don't bother about that." She said

I nodded. She smiled again.

She took out the first card, which was about the size of an A4 paper. It had an ink blot on it, a very abstract black and white ink-blot and showed it to me. She asked me what I saw.

I could see at least fifty things in it depending on which way was up and which way you looked at it.

"What way is it placed?" I asked.

"Anyway dear, just tell me what you see!" she could not keep the condescending tone out of her voice.

It took all my self control not to snatch the card out of her hand and hit her repeatedly across her face with it.

I looked at the card instead and immediately told her at least ten things I could see. She wrote them all down. I asked her if she wanted me to tell her more. I was sure this time I could not keep the superior tone out of my voice. I felt quite proud of my creative abilities and visual skills.

She said that was enough. I smiled for the first time in days.

Then she continued this exercise with more cards. There were ten in all. I was beginning to enjoy it.

Then it was all over. She told me to give her 5 minutes while she studied my responses. Then she called my parents in.

"She has severe depression. We should start her on medication immediately. That will help her a lot. Otherwise her condition will worsen," she pronounced.

Then she wrote out a prescription with names of some tablets I had never heard of, before.

I wondered how much my parents had paid for this. I wondered how much this lady made in a day. It must have been a huge packet, judging by the number of patients that were waiting, whom I noticed on the way out. We must have been her first appointment for the day.

Manik's POV

"Where is Nandini. Answer me you filthy animal" I was like a lion of some national sanctuary but I didn't cared as here the matter is related to nandini. Its been more than a week since I have seen her. I know this brat must have done something to her. And this was the nth time I am asking him but no, his tape is stuck at one answer I don't know'. But I wont leave this guy so easily. I know he must have done something to my nandu. I was so wrong to trust this fellow I checked all profile and background and I found him clean so I was okay with the fact that he is nandus friend. But now I have a doubt.

"Sir I said I don't know" here he repeasts his cassette.

"Listen I have seen you so many times you both..umm.. together" I stammered with last few words. I cant even stand the thought of she being with somebody else. I like her but I guess that is because I am her friend ya I guess. B ut then why cant I even stand the thought of she being with someone.

"Sir I called her few days back. Her mother said she was not well. I knew she was not well since few days she was acting all weird. I mean who does a dance on parapet of the terrace and who is insane to not sleep the whole night just to decorate the notes??!!"He spoke and I felt like a thunder bolt. She dancing on a parapet of terrace!! She might have fallen. The thought itself gave me jolts. But what is he saying why would she dance on a parapet. And he even mentioned she isn't well. What if her family have again went back to cochin. SHIT!! I cant let that happen not this time I want her in my life.

"Cabir book a round trip to cochin but 2 while going and 3 in return" I told him on the phone and I can sense him being in utter shock. I chuckled on my own craziness. I am coming nandini.

Writer's pov

Manik is going to cochin to bring nandu in his life for a forever, but he doesn't know a box full of shock is waiting for him over there.

**************

Okay guys I have compensated na.? long update.!!! That doctor and nandu convo was just to add a little but fun in the chapter. And I guess prologue wale part me jo cuts I mentioned uska reason mil gaya hoga.

I want a suggestion from you guys. Next update se Nandu's Past reveal karu or should I continue with the ongoing track.

And ya next update se I am going to PM chappies, okay.?