Chapter 7 B- Yeh Mera Dewaanapan Hai!
"Suno..!"Manik shouted for her from his room and she was cooking his breakfast..
"Ji aati hoon..!"She shouted back and run towards his room..! "What happened?"She asked entering his room and he look at her..
"Ya..! Tie..! Aj lag he nahi rahi..!"His expressions were telling that he was struggling with it from long time..!
"Ok..! I will fix it..!"She smiled and started fixing his tie..! He was looking at the tiny girl with a full smile on his face. He had never thought that he will call her in every matter for help..! "Lejiye..! Ho gai.! Itne si baat the..! Now you get ready and come for the breakfast aj main koi bahana nahi sunoon ge..!"She said all in one go and was about to walk out when suddenly..
"Nan-Nandini..!"His stammering word stopped her feet and obviously her heartbeat..! For the first time Manik took her name! It was magical..! Really! It was..! How much she wanted to hear her name from his lips..! Finally he fulfilled her wish..! She composed herself and turned to him. He walked closer to her and cupped her cheeks..! His gestures! His eyes were enough to accelerate her heartbeat..! He leaned closer to her and placed his lips on her forehead while she closed her eyes to inhale the moment..
"Thank you..!"He whispered and she exhaled her breath which she was holding unknowingly..!
"I will put your breakfast..!"She spoke blushing like hell and run outside..! While Manik smiled sheepishly..
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"Wah ray wah..! Kuch dino say someone is very happy..!"Cabir taunted at Manik who was smiling working on his laptop..
"Yeah..! Am happy..!"Manik accepted without any hesitation..!
"Tu ny sorry bola usy?"Cabir asked looking at his face and Manik's fingers stopped typing..
"No..!"He became serious..
"Why?"Cabir asked angrily..
"Because..! Am scared!"Manik said and looked away.
"Abhi bhi scared? After spending so much time with her?"He asked in a surprised tone and Manik hide his face in his palms..! "Come on..! Aik baari baat kar us say..! Am sure she will forgive you..!"Cabir was saying all this but nobody knew Manik's hal-e-dil..! He knew if he will ask for forgiveness she will be mad at him and he can't tolerate this!
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It was a cold night of December. After finishing some pending work Manik came to his balcony to get some fresh air..! He look around the darkness and saw Nandini sitting on the bench of the garden. With Smoky playing around..! She wasn't even wearing a sweater..! She must caught cold..! He walked to her room and luckily found a shawl lying on her bed. He picked it up and walked downstairs...!
Manik gently covered her bare shoulders with the shawl from back and she smiled feeling his touch.
"You shouldn't be sitting here it's quiet cold around..!"He said all the time adjusting the shawl on her..
"I thought you slept!"She spoke softly and he sat beside her on the bench..
"No..! Mjy raat main nend nahi aati..! Pill lay kar sona parta hai..! So tonight I didn't took the pill..!"He said staring at the stars and she was looking at his face..! She didn't wanted to show him that she knew about his pills..
"But you peacefully slept on our wedding night?"She remembered and Manik sighed..
"I know..! Because at that night I was peaceful from Alya's side! I thought all my tensions finished!"Manik explained..
"Then now what? Aren't you still contend? Ab q preshan hain ap?"She asked curiously and he looked away..!
"I have a guilt..! That guilt is not letting me take peace anywhere!"Manik spoke sadly..
"What guilt?"She was hell curious now..
"Guilt of ruining your life..!"Manik said vividly and Nandini felt wetness in his eyes. "I know whatever I did was wrong! I know If I say sorry with my each breath na tab bhi main un ziadtiyoon ka badla nahi chuka sakta jo myny tumhry sath ki hain! Main chahy sari zindagi bhi tumhry qadmoon main betha rahoon na! Tab bhi! Tab bhi nahi!"Manik was confessing all the time staring on the grass and Nandini had tears in her eyes..! Manik's eyes too were filled with water..! Suddenly he sat on his knees in front of her and she gasped audibly..! He held her hands which were placed in her lap and blinked his eyes the water which was filled in his eyes fell as tears on her palms with that she too hiccuped! "Mjy maaf kar do! Please..!" With that he was about to touch her feet but she held his hands..
"No please..! Please..! Don't..!"She spoke painfully and he look at her with tearful eyes..! "I forgave you when for the first time you smiled at me..! I am not at all angry with you!"She said sobbing badly..
"Nahi..! Don't forgive me easily! Me is qabil nahi hoon..! Sach main..!"He was crying like baby..! "Tum..! Please! Mjy koi saza day do..! Kuch bhi..!"He was saying this all the time with head low and Nandini too sat on the grass with him holding his hands..
"No Manik..! You are my husband! I know whatever you did was for Alya! Mjy sachi koi gila nahi hai..! I know you too are in pain! I want to heal you Manik..! Please let me get close to you..!"She said cupping his cheeks and Manik hugged her tightly, hiding his face in her hair he sobbed loudly while Nandini caressed his hair..! "Manik please..! Ni na..! Don't cry..!"She tried to shush him but he shook his head..
"Please..! Let me cry..! My heart is very heavy..! I want a release..!"He almost begged and Nandini kept quiet she kissed his hair all the time tracing her fingers in his nape hair. Nandini was unknown of the reasons for his tears! She didn't knew Manik was crying for his lost parental love! She didn't knew Manik was crying for his lost baby sibling! She didn't knew that for the first time Manik had got someone's shoulder to cry! She didn't knew that Manik was the most miserable and poor soul of all! She didn't knew she was the first who cared for him! She didn't knew how much Manik was thankful to her for protecting her! Even Manik wanted to tell her but the words were not enough to express him! Don't know for how long he kept crying and crying until he was tired..!
"Manik..! I think it's enough for today you should sleep..!"She finally spoke softly and without a protest he got up with her! His head was bent low and she brought him to his room. He quietly laid down and she covered him with the blanket. She was about to move away when he held her hand..
"I am very bad..! I am your culprit I know but can you please sit with me until I fall asleep..! I don't want to take the pill..!"He whispered in an embarrassed tone. She smiled and sat beside him..! She was about to turn off the night lamp when suddenly. "No..! Don't..! Don't turn of the lights..!"He almost freaked out and Nandini was startled..
"Relax...! I won't..! You sleep..!"She whispered back caressing his forehead where sweat beads were visible. He closed his eyes.
Manik was afraid of dark! There were so many things which Nandini didn't knew about Manik..! She kept caressing his hairs and forehead until she felt his even breath..! She wanted to be with him..! She wanted to hide him in his arms! She wanted to remove all his guilt and fears but what to do she even didn't knew the soul reason behind all that! Aiyappa help her!
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Anupamaa
