ff : a journey to cherish-part 1 pg 3

hi everyone, im new here and this is my first post

im a great fan of karam and have been a silent reader of all the ff's here till now, which by the way are all fantastic

so i thought why not post my own creation

its my first so you'll have to bear with me

here goes the intro

The rain poured continuously in tiny neat droplets, and the thundering clouds were constantly roaring in the background. The sound of the car horns beeping at each other in the heavy traffic was causing his ears to throb. He couldn't stand it for much longer. His head was already thumping from the day's previous incidents and he just wanted to get home and rest, but nature seemed to have other plans in mind for him.

All the roads ahead were blocked due to a major motorway accident. "MAN!!!!! Can this day get any worse" he yelled to himself. A hooded man approached his car. He slowly rolled down his windows, trying not to get himself wet. "Is there a problem?" he asked in his husky voice. "Well, all the roads ahead are blocked sir, so the only option you have is to turn back, sorry for the inconvenience" replied the man very sincerely, and he walked away onto the next car in line.

"Great, this is all I needed today". He decided to turn back and drive off, not knowing where he was about to end up. He noticed a nearby hotel and thought he should stop there for the night, as the roads showed no intentions of opening up any time soon.

He stepped into the lobby of the beautiful 5* hotel. High ceilings, crystal chandeliers, marble floors. It was nothing he hadn't seen before. He started walking carelessly to the check in desk accidentally bumping into some one, but he was too lost in his thoughts to notice until she turned and said "Sorry, it was my fault" in the sweetest of voices. He immediately turned around only to see that she was long gone. Wow, he thought to himself, she had the voice of an angel.

He shook himself out of his thoughts and walked over to the check in desk. "I'd like a room for 1 for the night please" he said. "Name please?" asked the hotel receptionist. "Shiv, Shiv Kapoor" he replied.

Comments and criticisms are welcome

and please give me any pointers on which i can improve on

Samira

Wow - great start. Do continue and make sure you have longer posts / updates - we in kaa forum are greedy for updates 😆
so when is the update? 😉

hey that is a such a good initiating part...i loved it...hmmm ladki ko dekh kar ooops sorry sun kar hi saara gussa gayab ho gaya

u r rockinggg and welcome to the club dear....hope to see next part soon



Asever 😳

Amneet 😉

hey welcome to the Zoo.......

This is a wonderful start......
Do continue....

Welcome to the Zoo as pabu said😆

The writing is beautiful... Loved the phrasing... My question, why didn't you write earlier!! 👏

Cheers,

dc

nice start
plz cont soon 😊

Originally posted by: latisharc

Wow - great start. Do continue and make sure you have longer posts / updates - we in kaa forum are greedy for updates 😆
so when is the update? 😉

Thankyou very much and i will post longer parts, this was just a teaser of the story

i will be updating soon, but this is only a short ff!!

thanks

samira

Originally posted by: amneet89

hey that is a such a good initiating part...i loved it...hmmm ladki ko dekh kar ooops sorry sun kar hi saara gussa gayab ho gaya

u r rockinggg and welcome to the club dear....hope to see next part soon



Asever 😳

Amneet 😉

Thanks so much, your comments are so encouraging, its really nice to recieve feedback from great writers like yourself!!!:)

yes, all anger vanished, i wonder if you can guess who the giel is?😉

thnks again for you lovely comments

samira

Originally posted by: prab_rockinn

hey welcome to the Zoo.......

This is a wonderful start......
Do continue....

thankyou

i will be continuing soon

samira

welcome to the forum dear 😳
the intro was awesome! very intriguing!
thank you for sharing ur great piece of work;
hope to see the next part soon!!