OS :Hope (SwaSan)

Life was funny Swara thought. It plays with you in the most bizarre ways and gives you a split second to fix your path or ruin it forever. Swara wasn't a stranger to ruin. After all she had done that to herself just a few days ago. She had caused anguish to the one man who had mattered the most to her. A man who supported her at every stage and who she had failed every time he needed support. One whose love she had failed to comprehend until it was too late. She had wanted Lakshya to accept Ragini because she believed the latter had changed and that her love deserved a chance. However she never applied that logic to herself and Sanskaar. His love which was silent and loyal and so passionate that he lay everything he had to ensure she was never disappointed. He had stated that she had taken him and their life for granted, swinging it the way she wanted. And yes, she was guilty of that she thought bitterly. She always was ready to berate him for his feelings and accusing him for using their relationship to further his love story and for most part he bore these allegations with silence. However he had always stayed true to his promise of never coercing her into a relationship. He was rock solid a friend, never faltering on that duty. Her mind flashed back to some of their happy times when they had developed a mild flirtation ship. If she thought back clearly, it was actually her that started it. In the months that they were together they had developed such an easy comfort when bantering with each other, she didn't even realise when she began flirting. The quick conversations, the laughs, the winks...all of it. To anyone it would seem like she had taken the decision to move ahead with him. Of course now she saw how cruel it must have seemed to him because she continued to treat the relationship with second class respect, picking up her bags when she wanted and leaving without batting an eyelid. It's no wonder he hates her ! She hated herself for it. She loved things to be perfect, and he had pegged her right that she wanted to fix the Ragini chapter no matter what it did to them. That was when she crossed the line, the one time he wanted his friend she got on her high horse and singlehandedly demolished the last vestiges of his patience. When he had lashed out at her, she had felt hurt that he didn't want to give her a second chance. It was only later she realised he had given her infinite chances, until there weren't any more to give out. She had always ignored them. It had taken a separation, an angry rant and a conversation with Ma for her to finally understand that she Swara loved Sanskaar and had been in love with him for a while. But this realisation came at a time when she had hurt him so badly that he didn't buy it and she didn't blame him for it. Even at that point she juggled other family problems in addition to their relationship. Though she kept yelling that she had come for him, her actions belied her words. Her heart ached when even while being extremely angry with her, he had told Ragini off for threatening her. He was still being her friend, looking out for her. Lord, why hadn't she just focused on him. After all that was his only condition. The dirty game that Ragini played had only further pushed their relationship into the dumps. She had tried reaching out to his side, pleaded with him to hear her out. But she could see he was tired. Tired and afraid of being embroiled in another one of her Swaraisms as he termed it. He did the only sane thing a person would do, and protected himself and his heart. If he failed to acknowledge her, there would be no pain right ? Hate and indifference are powerful weapons when combined, unleashing a force like none other. And while she could blame her sister all she wanted, she knew it was the choices she made that had brought them where they were today.

Th sound of laughter in the neighbours house brought her back to today's events momentarily. The cops, the chaos, Raginis foiled plan and Kavitas entry. It was possibly Karma that was being meted out to her as a punishment for all the woe she had given him. The sight of Kavita hugging Sanskaar brought a fresh onslaught of tears. Her heart had shattered in that one moment when she saw his arms swing protectively around Kavita, arms that had always reserved that gesture for her. How could she compete with his first love, with the woman whom he set on a pedestal. The woman who had caused Sanskar to enter her life in the first place. A woman who loved him and unlike her was unafraid to show it. This was probably what he deserved, something that she hadn't given him thus far, Kavita in that single hug had clearly sent out the message that Sanskar was her only priority. Swara sat on the tiny ledge near the window looking out at the dark night which was lit by only a smidgen of the new moon. The darkness mirrored the turmoil in her life except she didn't see any silver lining akin to the moon in the sky. she felt tears streaming down her face freely. Only this time there was no pristine white handkerchief to stop the flow. Her hand chafed her facial skin as she violently tried wiping them out. How was it that she always stopped when she felt the first touch of the soft fabric ? The fabric and the reassuring calm voice of the man holding the fabric did the trick said a condescending voice in her head that sounded much like hers. The fact that her love for Sanskar would be unrequited gave her a glimpse of what he felt each day they had spent together. With her skin raw and red from all the crying, she looked desperately out of the window for some solace. She willed the wind to dry her tears and the night to engulf her in its darkness. But like everything else , they also chose to let her suffer. Just as she brought her hand back to her face, she felt it. That soft fabric that stilled her hand and reached out to wipe the tears that flowed. And just like magic, they stopped, stopped when along with the action she heard the deep voice call out her name in his trademark fashion. She looked above to see him sit opposite her on the tiny ledge, handkerchief in hand focusing only on wiping her tears. She blinked twice, to make sure it wasn't a dream. An action that didn't go unnoticed by him.

"Sapna nahi hai yeh. Main hi hoon"

Par...she began to be shushed by him.

"Not a word Swara ! Not a word until I finish. Has there ever been a time when you've needed me and I haven't been there ?"

She nodded to indicate no.

"Then how could I not come today ? Yeh achha hai, I thought you loved me and wanted to spend the rest of your life with me, and you gave up so easily ?"

She looked up at him in wonder, her big eyes opening in equal parts shock and hope. As he engulfed her in a tight hug, she clung to him listening to the sound of his heartbeat and his voice which downed out all the peripheral cacophony.