A life less ordinary
Kangana Ranaut has always struck me as one of the most real of our actors. Whatever she does or says is straight from the heart. She's brutally candid and doesn't need to lie to keep up appearances. Her latest, Katti Batti, didn't perform as well as expected but Kangana has accepted it with grace and moved on. Hits and failure after all come with the territory. "I'm born with this strong sense of self," she says. Nothing fazes her. Not even criticism of any kind. "Even when people comment on my accent, my English, it doesn't bother me. It's natural because I come from the mountains. I don't see anything wrong in it. People who don't have values, who don't know how to talk to others; they're the ones who should be embarrassed."
She gets introspective and says, "As a person I should be embarrassed about my irresponsible behaviour in the past, all the Gone With The Wind' type of things I did. But don't make me uncomfortable about things, I shouldn't be embarrassed about. Like, the fact that I'm from a middle-class background or I have a mountain voice." She elaborates, "I've had my share of heartbreak and relationships. I'm not embarrassed about them. But people develop complexes about strange things. Despite the fact that they come from the best families and have been to the best schools."
She views criticism as a stepping stone towards greater self-awareness. "I don't get affected by negativity. Long back, when I joined theatre, my director was the only one who believed I could act. He was the only one who said encouraging things. I used to attend the workshop just for that. Right from Gangster, I was appreciated for my fashion sense. I pay attention to what's good and work on the niceness. I don't pay attention to what stupid people say about me."
She lives by her own set of rules and is constantly on a learning curve. "In the morning, I attend French classes, ballet classes and horse riding classes. For my character Julia in Vishal Bhardwaj's Rangoon, I attend sword fighting classes. I'm up at 5 am. I have to be in bed by 9 pm. It's important for me to focus on my character. It's demanding. I want people to say wow'. I don't want to be mediocre." There's no fear of that if the roles coming her way are any indication. She says the scripts are demanding "Suddenly, filmmakers seem to be having a lot of faith me. I do feel a certain fear and pressure. I want to focus on good stories. But at times, I want to take it easy. I don't want to give into the pressure of bettering my act each time," she smiles.
Kangana has a scientific approach to acting. "I call myself a scientist where I incessantly work on people. The writers give you a broad line-up of mannerisms. You have to penetrate the mind of the characters and get into their experiences, past and present. Also your own approach to life helps. If my clay' is not mouldable then I can't give validity to the character. What's your base as a human being is crucial. To play someone like Datto, I needed to understand her. I'd never met someone like that. Similar with Queen. I didn't know what a Delhi girl is like, someone who's also under-confident. With Tanu too, had I not internalised her, it would have been a broken performance. It would have been fake."
This drive to do her own thing, to keep a stiff upper lip in front of strong opposition hasn't been easy. "I was a paying guest with a bunch of girls in Chandigarh. One of those girls was into modelling and she started making money; ' 1500 for a random shoot. I also did a few and began making money." She'd visit Delhi to meet friends often. "There we'd party, we'd drink. I wasn't even 17. You begin doing these forbidden things. Naturally, a huge difference creeps between your parents and you. I had a showdown with my parents because they pulled me up for not attending school. I said I didn't want to be a doctor." She was learning French at the time. The young Kangana found sculptures, theatre and music far more interesting than cutting up a frog. "I began doing theatre with the Asmita group in Delhi. The director asked me to try serials and movies as theatre wouldn't give me big money." Next the Elite modelling agency sent her to Mumbai for a catalogue shoot. "Here, I met some girls who were going to Vishesh Films to audition for Gangster. I tagged along. I got a callback from them. I stayed on in a hostel in Santacruz."
She loved every minute of her struggle. "Four of us hired an apartment to ourselves for ' 5000. We had four beds, four mattresses, four closets and one toilet between us. I had just a bag with me. Abhi toh kitne hang ups hain. Today, when I travel I have four bags. A decade ago, I had just a night's change. I cooked my own food, cleaned my room and did my own laundry..." How would she react to a rebellious daughter herself? "I'd do what my parents did. I'd let her be on her own. Even though I'd do anything so that she doesn't have to go through the experiences I did. But without them, I would not have become who I am. I want them to struggle with money." She says the tough times have made her considerate. "Today, I do a lot of charity. It's because once I didn't have money to eat. I'm not someone who leaves food in my plate or lets my food go soggy. I pack it up and give it to beggars. It disturbs me when my help doesn't value resources. Bartan dhona hai toh pani khula hi hai. When people come home, I make sure I serve them homemade food. I remember going to people's homes, smelling the aroma of homemade food and not having it. My tough times, my lack of resources, my experiences with psychotic people - everything has made me a calm human being. I'd want my children to deal with everything. It will be hard on me. But I'd rather do that than be overprotective."
Her sister Rangoli, also her manager, has been her support system. Kangana concedes handling both roles hasn't come easy to Rangoli. "Rangoli doesn't want to make it big and prove it to the world. It's her love for me that makes her do things for me. Her life is also demanding. Because while I'm driven, she's overstretching herself with my energies. That keeps her on her toes." She adds, "Yet somewhere, Rangoli has grown ambitious, which is nice. She views her life in a certain way and wants to reach there. But we do have conflicts, we do have tough times, we have fights and we cry too."
There were rumours that her ambitious historical Rani Laxmibai has been shelved. But Kangana maintains she's looking forward to the biopic. "When director Ketan Mehta narrated Laxmibai's story... she riding a horse with a nine-month-old tied to her back and fighting with a sword... it got me excited. I'm 28 and my energies are raging. At the right time I've got the right opportunities." Also, she's learning Gujarati to play a Gujarati girl in Hansal Mehta's next.
But all work and no play could make Jane a dull girl. No wonder the actress recently took off to Mexico to spend some quality time with herself. "Initially, it was unsettling. Because you've grown dependent on people. I was hassled doing things on my own. I'd ask myself what I'd entered into. And then suddenly you say no; I'm not going to depend on anybody. That shift is liberating. You can be at the beach all day, read books, drink cocktails... you don't care kiska phone aaya, kiska nahin; it's a great feeling."
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