FATES DECIDED SS

Chapter 1:

My eyes were stuck only at the doors of the operation theater. I urge of going inside and switching off that red light, which was glowing from the last continuous 4 hours, that made me notice a tall man sitting beside the chair, good looking too, despite of the creased bows. I surprised myself from my observation and returned my attention. Pakhya was holding my hands, letting me know, he was with me. I looked at my 15 years old brother who looked more tensed and lost but all the time pretending to be very strong. The nurse walked in...

The man stood up and looked at the nurse, then the doctor came out, coming closer to the chair where I and Pakhya were seated , he said, "I'm sorry Ms jadav... We did our best." I just sank down on my knees... not wanting to understand the depth of the meaning suppress in those few words. The doctor walked over to the man. The man deep voice restrained the doctor to say anything, "Not even her?" His voice resonated across the hospital rooms.

The doctor shook his head, the man stood his arm loose to his side. It took a moment for me to understand. I ran towards the man and started hammering his chest. It was unaffected on him, he stood there, taking it as it was deserved.

Pakhya ran towards me and dragged me away from him, apologizing to the man. "She killed him... She killed our dad!!!!" I screamed. I looked towards the man face and saw the tears flowing down his cheeks.

That was the night I remembered looking at him, when that accidend took his father away from us. The man, Raghav Singhania, lost his wife... Pakhi kapoor. One accident ended thier life. Her father, Vithal jadav was returning from the work and his wife due to overdose of alcohol couldn't managed to balance the car and ended there lifes.

The week passed after that accident all the funeral ceremony, Kalpana went to the hospital to meet the doctor for her health issues. She saw Raghav was sitting in the waiting room. As I saw him sitiing in the waiting room of the hospital, my heart skip a beat and it starts pounding. I was feeling guilty of my action and decided to apologize him for my actions. I moved towards him, He looked up and as our eyes met, I took a seat next to him. He shifted uncomfortably.

"I just wanted to apologize for my behaviour that night" I said

Raghav didn't say anything, he simply nodded.

"Are you fine?" I asked

"I cannot sleep..." Raghav said finally looking at me.

"neither me.." I replied in my low voice looking down at my feet. As I looked up... his eyes met mine.

Raghav stood and walked into the office, for all the while, I was sitting on that chair and his ruined face swims over my mind.

The doors opened and Raghav came out in his red, puffy eyes. It was my turn to go inside. I moved past him, my hand brushed his, and he put his hands out, I looked at him, "will you just go for a coffee out?" I simply nodded and walked in.

Chapter 2:

I came out, and the waiting area was empty. "What had you even expected?" I was angry at my disappointment. I marched out of the hospital and towards the parking lot.

Raghav was standing, leaning against his SUV. He straightened himself up when he saw me. I walked towards him. It was never my intension to meet him again, yet the air around him soothes my pain. I feel the tension from my body wiped away, in his presence.

"I need some hard coffee" I whispered reaching close to him.

"Hmmm... even my head is severely aching", his voice was deep yet smooth.

His red burning eyes were enough to tell, he must have cried a lot. He opened the door of his car and directed me to sit in, after some seconds, he himself settled into the driver seat. Leaning his head on the head set he glanced at me. He was silent but needed love.

I lived in the family where my father alone tried every day to make up his two children live, It was clearly visible how lonely he always feels. My mother died due to cancer when I was 9 and my brother was just a year old. I have always seen how empty my father was, how deeply he missed her every day. Plastering the mask of laughter he failed in hiding how sad he was without his wife. Every night after assuring we both have peacefully slept, he drank himself in the world of alcohol. Sitting on the edge of window, he cries every night, looking up in the sky.

I always wanted to go and hug him tightly, letting him know... we are there for him. But the feeling of embarrassing him, restrained me of doing it. "What if, he feels embarrassed? What if, this gives him some moment of peace?" All questions were unanswered for me but I always managed to witness how madly my father was hurt from inside. How much her father wants his wife back.

Looking at him, all the memories flushed into me. I do not have the power to handle the quilt of not letting my father understand, he was not alone. I raised my both arms toward him, "Come to me !!!", I commanded. He release his seat belt and suddenly bump his head on my chest, as if he was only waiting for this. Pulling me closer to him from my waist, his both arms were around my waist . I was stroking his head, pressed him deeper into me. He was crying loudly and I realised , how much my father wanted this. He loosen his grip from my waist and tried to straighten himself.

"NO!!! There is nothing embarrassing... Stay like this... You are not alone..."I murmured caressing his head, I don't know... whether it was for that man , whom I was hugging so tightly or the words were for my dad... whom I always wished of expressing.

It was past 1 hour that we stayed in our position in his closed car. He was asleep over me, hugging me very tightly. Seeing him sleeping, flowed the sense of satisfaction all over my spine. I regretted my cowardness. If I was strong enough to step forward for my father, he might too had slept like this every night, despite of overloading himself in the pool of alcohol.

I massaged his head, remembering he complained of severe headache. The affection which I had suppress in me from the very long time for my father was poured in him. Somewhere deep in my heart, I want to show what I wanted to do with my father. I was not thinking from my mind rather from my heart.

"NO !!! This is wrong... He is not my father..." The sudden realization hit me and I pushed him away from me. He got his head hit on the window plane, blinking at me, He rubbed his one hand over his head and other ran across his face.

"Let's go for the coffee !!!"exhailing the long breathe, he said looking on the road.

Raghav followed the waiter to the table, I just weaved my way to him. He held the chair as I sat down. He is a gentleman.

The waiter took our order and left.

"How've you been?" he asked.

"I don't really know...Right now, it's all about getting through day" I felt the tears begin to gather but I blinked furiously to fight them.

"what about you?" I asked.

"Am back at work... It's busy right now" , he looked into my eyes. A tear rolled down my face. He wiped it with his thumb and cupped my face.

"It will get better. It has to get better..." he murmured.

The waiter came with our coffee. Raghav dropped his hand and I touched my hair self consciously.

Even though they did not actively seek each other out, the weekly visit to the hospital and then stop for the coffee was now a mandatory habit for both of them. They didn't talk much. It was an odd connection, where the shared pain needs not to be explained. Once they drove away from the cafe, they went back to their separate lives.

CHAPTER 3:

Now it passes almost a month. Raghav and Kalpana were busy in their respective life's. But unknown to Kalpana, Raghav was very fond of assuring him about Kalpana's well being. Every night after his office hour, he first goes towards Kalpana's house, watching her sitting peacefully on the terrace, he returns back to his house. He sometime sits inside his car and just stares at the girl who does not miss a chance of glancing anywhere else except the sky.

But there weekly visit to hospital and then sometime at coffee table does not changed. Two months later,

I stirred my coffee absently as I looked absently out of the window.

"Something on your mind?" Raghav asked. I turned toward him and said,

"I've made a decision."

Raghav leaned forward.

"I'm going home." I looked into his eyes.

"Home!!!", he asked confusingly.

"Yes , I'm going back to India. " I replied.

"Why?" he reached over and placed his hands over mine. I turned myself around and laced my fingers through his.

"Money... Pakhya...Its so difficult without dad..."

Raghav fingers tightened, as a muscle twisted in his jaw.

"You seem to be doing well" he replied.

"NO !!! Its nothing like that. I struggle to get through the day. The bank wants the house back... I just can't do it anymore !!!" my eyes filled up.

"Is there anything I can do?" Raghav asked sincerely.

"No !!! " I said with conviction.

"Raghav ... my paternal family lives in India, and they are calling us back. I cannot let Pakhya's future suffer due to lack of money" I said wiping the lone tear falling off my eyes.

"KALPANA..." he whispered pulling me closer to him.

"It's done !!! RAGHAV... I'm leaving next week"

The waiter came to the table and Raghav withdrew his hands.

Raghav and I was walking at the parking lot to our respectively cars. I felt his hands rested on the small of my back. My whole body tensed up and I felt short of breathe. I closed my eyes to avoid unwelcoming sensations flowing inside me, all across my spines. As I walked away, he tightened his hands. "KALPANA..."

I turned towards him and looked straight into his grey eyes. I couldn't read them in the dark but something told me, they were stormy.

He touched my face gently, pushing back a tendril of hair from my forehead,

"Don't Leave !!!", he whispered slowly twisting his head right to left, focusing only on the tendril of my hair.

" Raghav... I have a home in delhi, people who'll help me get back on my feet and right now, what choice do I really have? I have to think of pakhya..." I was muttering repeatedly, without even for once looking at him.

He said nothing, just leaned in and placed his warm lips on mine. They tasted of his favourite dark coffee. I felt a pleasant tingling before stepping back. I have never been kissed before, my guilt got better of me and I ran to my car, fumbling my way in. As I reversed, I saw Raghav still standing where I have left him.

My heart wrenched.

CHAPTER 5

I was standing outside the airport waiting for Raghav in my new silk blue halted neck top with my new denim jeans. I curl my hair and let it lose to one side of my shoulder. I purposely choose 6" pencil heels for the dress. Seriously, I don't want to look timid in front of the man, whom I deliberately rent my mind to stay from the last two years.

It was 9:00 pm, and I lied my uncle's of today late night work shift. Neither Pakhya nor my uncle knew of mine being in the airport, waiting for the stranger. Since, being in India and that too living with paternal family, me and Pakhya were bound from many traditional rituals. We were not allowed to stay out after 7:00 pm, not bringing friends, no late night calls, no video chats and so on ... Pakhya never complained but I knew, with each passing days such rules and boundaries were pissing him . He rather prefer spending all his time with his books, he talked less and his silent behavior was worrying me. Now buying our own small house, became my top priority.

I took the waiting seat and sat quietly. I blinked and looked down. My heart was pounding very fast and my hands shivered. I could not control my heavy breathe, "Relax Kalpana... It's not like you, meeting him for the first time. RELAX... He is a person in need... RELAX" I closed my eyes and inhaled the deep breathe.

Raghav called me and asked to visit the airport. Since Raghav was new to the country, even I thought of helping him. When he proposed the meeting, I didn't really know what to say and simply agreed.

It passed almost half an hour , sitting at the very place waiting for Raghav. I glanced nervously around the airport but cannot see him. I felt like a lost , starved puppy waiting for his meat. I glanced up once more at pillar no. 4 shifting my head slightly towards my right and I SEE HIM.

My heart leaps, beginning a thumping beat as he makes his way towards me. He was wearing a loose light blue shirt with his two buttons undone and in his blue denim jeans, he looked no less than a 25 years boy. I found him more toned and well maintained, it seems he is working in the gym more than usual. His bright grey eyes were shining and I found myself paralysed at my sitting position.

He arrives at my seat, gazing at me warily.

"Hi", I squeak, unable to hide my shock and awe at seeing him. My hand reached my head and fingers brushed my hair out of my anxiety while I managed to stand straight.

"Hi" he replies, and leaning down he kisses my cheek, taking me by surprise.

I flushed.

My hands reached his waist, and I gently rested my fingers on his belt, closing my eyes, I tilt my head, surrendering my skin for his touch.

His lips were gently on my cheeks, he strokes my falling strand of hair with his fingers and adjusted them behind my earlobes.

"AHHH..." I groan

I could not resist my excited hormones and here his skin on mine was making no ways to make my knees so week.

"RAGHAV..." I whispered, breathlessly. He moved backward and gazes down at me impassively.

The embarrassment of his action flew better of my head and my stamina gave up for looking into his eyes. I stood there looking everywhere except Raghav, playing with my fingers. A uncomfortable silence build between us.

"Will you run away now" I heard his voice, my head was still bowed down. And I shook my head a little.

"You look lovely" Raghav said cheerfully.

I gazed up and saw him smiling smally, biting his lips.

I blushed.

He reaches over, takes my hand and squeezes it gently, running his thumb across my knuckles to and fro.

"I called my driver, but now I wanted to drive myself... come the car is parked there" He pointed the direction with his other hand. He looked amused and excited. I have never seen such shade of his before, the man I met was lost, sad, silent but he... he is different. I found, I was with a man, who knows the meaning of life, who knows what life is about, who looked beautiful like no one.

We both reached his car, hand in hand. It was dark and his car was parked at the very corner of the road. His hand on mine reminded me of my father. The way, my dad, me and Pakhya spend the entire Sunday evening, teasing, cuddling, pranking each one. But now neither I have my dad nor my Pakhya with me.

I wanted to throw myself into his arms but was afraid what if he do not like it. I wanted his shoulder to release my tension which had been suppressed in me from the last two years. He was talking on his phone and I removed my hand from his. He turned and looked surprised, he paused, he once looked at his hand and then mines and finally stares me, he didn't gave up his call.

He continued his call, but his eyes never left mine. For all the time, he looked at me.

"Hmmm... YESS... call him. No... no I will be there..." were the one liner words he used while talking all time, sometime clenching his jaws, sometime throwing the draggers from his eyes. I was sure I have offended him.

He cut the call and leaned his back, folding both his hands across his chest. His eyes refused to leave mine.

I felt a familiar pull. The electric charge zapping beneath my skin, from the fear of annoying him, fired into my blood stream and pulsed around my body, heating everything in its path.

I lost the control from my body.

"Please ... don't be angry from me" I murmured and threw myself into him. I felt his muscles tightened from the touch of my skin on him. I didn't care and encircled my hands around his neck. He crawl his left hand around my neck and his right hand pulled me closer to him. His nose was brushing my ears to and fro. He breathe heavily into my ears. I closed my eyes to feel him.

"You smell so good" Raghav murmured. I clenched his well ironed sleeves into my fist tightly and pulled him closer to me. I can no longer... contain, sobbing, huge chest wrenching sobs, finally letting my tears flow unrestrained. I felt a loose grip, but I was not letting him to leave me.

"Kalpana..." Raghav says gently, as he pulls in into his arms and I wheep into his neck.

Cooing softly into my hair, he gently strokes my back. My breathe hitched and I let myself free from him.

I rubbed my nose from back of my index finger, Raghav extended his hand and wiped my tears and then my nose within a second.

I gazed up and giggled...

"What did you do?" I asked giggling.

He looked intense and puzzled, "What happened Kalpana??? Why did you cry?" his sudden enquiry surprised me.

"I don't know..." I whispered.

He moved closer, "Kalpana... did someone harm you"

"NO" I whispered...

Raghav looked worried, his bow shoot up, "tell me the truth" he asked softly...

"I don't know... I don't know why I m crying" fresh tears swim into my eyes and I found myself struggling to speak, "I don't know... Nothing harmed me ... I ... I ... I missed you, seeing you, in front of me... This is not real... I don't know"

I said looking into his eyes...

I extended my hands to reach him

HELLO BEAUTIES...

Now my prior warning... this is a long update. So read it on your own risk.

Sunny... special thanks to you, you are making me constantly attached to this story... heheheeh... so I dedicate my chapter to you... hmmm... But then do allow I to take at least three to four days leave from this story... and I want to clear one thing, Raghav and Kalpana are still outside the car...

Love u

CHAPTER 6:

Raghav looked lost, his brows were creased but his eyes were glowing, I found him struggling to let his tears fall.

"Let's go for the coffee... a hard coffee?" I said cheerfully, shifting from his front and trying to open the door of the car.

I fought with the car handle but nothing happened.

"Its locked..." he said slowly rubbing his nose from back of his palm.

He turned , took the car keys out and unlocked it, directing me to sit at the passenger seat, neither his eyes met mine nor his body touched me. I looked at him, at least to get a glance but I found him carefully maintaining the distance between us. He looked sad and disappointed.

"Do you want me to drive...? I mean, you are new to the country and do not know anything?" I said when he moved away towards opposite side of the car.

"NO" he whispered and turned, without even looking at me.

"But..." I whisperd.

CRASH...

Before I could complete, he took his driver seat and harshly closed the door behind.

I sat inside quitely and looked down at my knotted fingers on my lap.

"I have GPS system intalled and my net has no issue." He said accelerating the car. His tone was harsh and heavy. I narrowed my eyes and saw him blinking his eyes more than usual. I felt his lips quiver and nose shivered.

"Raghav..." I murmured softly.

He looked unaffected and rest of the drive was silent. The man I complained before, whom I first met had now overruled the man who arrived few hours before.

It was 10: 30 pm and we both were inside the cafe. The place was over crowded and the immense fear of being caught with a man from any of my relative or the neighbours was making me difficult to concentrate.

"What is making you so nervous...?" Raghav groaned,

I gazed up at him, and he was clenching his jaws, his hands were squeezed in tight fist.

I knew something was troubling him. He wanted to speak. But something inside him restrained him to do so. My mouth opened wide and I reached my hands over his. Taking a deep breathes...

"What is making you so mad? I'm not nervous..." I whispered, blinking my eyes.

He rolled his hands and interlinked his fingers with mine, squeezing my hands gently. His hands were warm and soft.

"Kalpana..." Raghav exhaled a long breathe, finally his face softens and he smiled, making me smile a bit.

"Kalpana... I made a mistake" Raghav said clearing his throat, straightens his back but his hand and eyes never left mine.

"Ragh...", He interrupted before I say,

"Kalpana... I made mistake of not coming before, of not confessing what I feel for you," Raghav said, leaning over the table, each time coming more and more closer. His thumb strokes to and fro.

I felt a sweet heating torture pulsing up and down. I wanted to remove my hand from his, but then I felt his thumb reaching my palm, his nails scratching and drawing the letter R gently and slowly, his eyes looked intense and dark.

I pressed my lips and gazed up, my vision was blur and I realised, my ears, my eyes, mine everything was burning hot.

"Raghav..." I whispered before roughly removing my hand from his. His hands remained on the table.

SILENCE...

"I'm sorry..." Raghav said

"Raghav ... why are you here?" I asked reaching towards the cup of coffee on the table, without even looking at him.

"Why are you here..." he said in the same tone as mine.

I was surprised, I paused, my cup didn't reach my lips and I felt my limps tightened. I couldn't believe of what I heard... I felt insulted. Keeping the cup on the table, I looked into his eyes.

"SORRY... SORRY...", hehehe, "Kalpana...sorry..." He giggled, Raghav streched his both hands up.

Hs amused look, heated the ignition level of mine...

"You know Raghav... No... Do you have the idea, how I made myself available here. I lied... I LIED everyone of my late night job shift. I ignored confessing to Pakhya... all because of you, I terribly missed you; my every inch ached for you, when you were busy with all your wild abandon... I know that really is none of my concern but I will not take this from you." I murmured, making sure my aggression is not witnessed from him, reaching towards my clutch I left the place glancing once at his puzzled, disturbed face with widely opened eyes.

I was standing outside the cafe, near his car, feeling embarrassed of my words.

"Shit Kalpana!!! What did you do? What made you so wild and arrogant?" I cursed myself for such a stupid and childish act. I was not kind of a person, who looses so easily, not even in the most devastating phase. He did not say anything so bad... NO !!! he didn't say anything.

It was so hard for me to admit, from the days I saw him with so many new girls... "I felt jealous", I was angry from him for choosing others over me. It was hard ... literally hard to admit that I was falling for him in fact I had fallen for him.

I saw him walking slowly towards me, I was distraught. Raghav reached and gathered me into a hug and let me cry.

I could not think again, I moved away from him.

"Kalpana... I have been sitting in the flight for more than 9 to 10 hours... will you accompany me for some walk? The atmosphere is so peaceful", he said, his face soften and trace of a smile kisses his lovely sculptured lips.

We walked a bit, and then we chose a bench in the park to sit for a while, before he drops me back to my house.

He tugs my hand and before I know it, I'm on his lap. He has his arms around me and his nose is in my hair.

"I've missed you so much, Kalpana" he breathes.

I want to struggle out of his hold, to maintain some distance, but his arms are wrapped around me. He's pressing me to his chest. I melt.

OHHH... this is where I want to be.

I rest my head against him and he kisses my hair repeatedly. For a moment I allow myself the illusion that all is well.

"You know Kalpana... Two years back, I was been convinced for getting married to a girl, whom my family choose for me, when I was just 26, I married her but few months later, I found we both were not compatible. We had nothing in common, she loves parties, I like silence. She wanted freedom, I wanted relationship. There was nothing we both were sharing"

I gaze up, his eyes clouded and intense. He claps my hand and gazes my knuckles with his thumb and all my muscled clench tightly, deliciously, deep inside me.

"Then , that accident... you know what it does to me?" he murmurs

I shook my head negatively.

He giggled and kissed my cheeks.

I blushed.

"Well... I met another girl, a 19 years old child..."

I flushed, as I knew, he was addressing me.

"A child, who was mature enough for her age. Who knew the importance of THE family, who wanted to take the pain of other's. BUT who was blessed with molten hot lips", he gazed down and winks.

I blushed as the memories of our first kiss swim all over my mind.

"I'm sorry for my words" I whispered, pressing my head into his chest.

"That's okay... I understand"

He strokes my head; I felt my tension from long, was no more. My pain was healing, I felt relieved, stressed out, relaxed. My eyes wanted to shut down. I wanted to sleep like a baby over him. I struggled to open my eyes.

"Are you sleepy?" he whispered inside my ears.

"No... tell me more" I sound husky, low and slow...

"When you left... I thought of experimenting with the world, Pakhi was so fond of...I wanted to know, what pleasure, Pakhi gets there... apart from me. I made myself circled myself with every new chicks," I tightened my fist on his shoulder and my breathe flows fast then before,...

He scoops me tighter, "But every time, I felt ,I'm cheating myself, cursing my upbringings. Each night, I missed our innocent meeting, I missed you kalpana. When Pakhi died, I felt being failed in exercising my responsibility as a husband. I thought, If I was more concern for her, or if I have tried to save the relation, then might she would had made herself come out of her that wild world... Kalpana... are you listening?" Raghav asked, leaning down, placing a peck on my lips.

I blushed, my eyes closed, and I only shook my head. "Why do you talk so less?" he asked smilingly.

"I don't know... I'm listening. Tell me more" I whispered.

"Kalpana... when I saw you crying... I thought, I again failed... Failed as a..." he paused,

"Failed as a..." I asked slowly, looking into his eyes.

"I don't know... but please, never again cry kalpana..." he said, making me rest my head on his chest.

"Tell me more..." I whispered.

"Hmmm... sure, laters, but first... let me drop you home"

"Kalpana... remember one thing, Don't let anyone rule your heart... I have came here to rule your soul, your heart and you"

He grabs my face between his hands forcing me to look up into his ardent, determined eyes.

I gasp and his mouth swoops down. He's kissing me, violently. Briefly our teeth clash, then his tongue is in my mouth.

He pour all the angst and love, all into our kiss, binding him to me and it hits me- in the moment of blinding passion,

I was doing the same, I feel the same.

Hey everyone... I tried my best to entertain you all . I'm actually is not allowed to waste most of my time with my baby( I dont feel like calling it just a laptop). I will be done with my graduation this year... So my next target is to get a job , preparing for competition exams. Hence I will try my level best to update regularly... but if takes time... please understand, since it's useless to say... as you have been very supportive, loveable and had always accepted me, with every flaws I had. Thank you all. I want to thank Nikita , my adorable reader... If you like this chapter... just feel, I wrote thinking only of you, to satisfy you. Hope you like it.

CHAPTER 7: (part 1)

It was 1:30 am , Raghav dropped me few km away from my house. He seemed more curious and horrified. "Look Kalpana... call me, whenever you feel like... There is no need to be afraid of your uncle's...", Raghav muttered while coming out of his car. He came to my side and his hands reaches mine before locking the car.

"BOH... BOOOH"... the stray dogs were barking, roads were dark, and there was no sign of any person long away . I felt Raghav hands squeezed mine tightly; I gaze up at him and saw him panting... My eyes travelled the direction where he was looking, "Kalpana... You are a big girl now, you should not be afraid of dogs... They only bark... Don't look at them", he whispered looking towards the dogs in his trembling voice...
"But Raghav..." I whispered, facing him. Raghav stood behind me, and he pushed me more forward with the every step of dogs reaching us...

Shitt this man!!!!! And he asks me to rely on him over my uncle... Raghav struggled running to other side of the car, leaving me standing alone. "SIT INSIDE THE CAR... JUST SIT INSIDE", he yelled, unlocking the car.

GOSH... Within the second, we both were inside the car.

I narrowed my eyes, I notice him running his fingers through his hair and stands, his face frightened like a small kid, "Just tell everyone, your driver dropped you" Raghav said glancing me, through the mirror.

Ohh god!!! I feel like giggling, laughing aloud and then I could not resist,

I jumped on him, giggling, I found myself into his lap, wrapping my both hands around his neck.

"Ohh Raghav..." I placed a peck on his cheeks, unrestraining my laughs... "You are so cute" I said pulling his cheeks, My actions were not supported by my mind, I peck him on his lips , tilting my head little right. I felt his lips quirk up in a half smile on my lips. I flush, embarrased.

Shitt... It was not we both have never kissed before but every time, it was him initiating! I deliberately removed my hands and interlinked them on my laps, bowing my head down. He put his hands under my chin and tips my head back, staring down at me. His eyes are intense as he examines my face. There was something hot ran inside my body and my lips quiver with the gentle strokes of his thumb on the corner of my mouth. I felt hot inside, very hot. I jerked his hand away trying to sit on my passenger seat.

"Kalpana ... will you be my girlfriend?" Raghav whispered, holding my hand firmly, not allowing me to move away.

SILENCE...

TIME PAUSED...

I gulped...

My body was paralysed, my hands remained on his waist, still looking down on my legs, I examined... What I heard!! I found my fingers were stuck on his hard strong muscular waist.

Gulping, I gaze at him nervously, my heart in my mouth, I opened my mouth to speak..

"we'll try !!! Be my girlfriend...I will be loyal and whatever you want me" Raghav whispered in one breathe, he is facing me, his lovely face looks younger , relaxed. His sculptured, pouty lips are parted slightly and his shiny, clean hair is a glorious mess. My heart was thumping very fast, ready to come out. It was something, I have never thought of before, ME AND RAGHAV ... GIRLFRIEND, BOYFRIEND. I had always waited for him, he was the only man, who was occupied in my mind from thelast two years or may be from the time I have first seen him... in the hospital...My heart was crying, it wanted to sob on his but my mind questioned his intentions,... WHY? WHAT DOES HE MEAN?? WHY ME? WHY NOW? WHY???? But what if I reject him now, he does not move back... No!!!!!!!! I don't want him to go...

Oh man... What is that all about?

"Raghav..." I whispered, his face was so close, I lost what I wanted to say

"hmmm..." he groan, resting his head back at the heat rest of his seat, his grey eyes not ditching mine, his knuckles were stoking my waist gently...

"Yes... I want to be your girlfriend" I said looking on my laps.

I felt his body relax. His breathe hitches and he groan.

He embraces me in his arms, tightly, pulling me closer to him. I can feel wild explosions. He then hugs me gently, push some of the hair that covers my face aside and plant a soft kiss on my cheeks. I blush, I lost the guts to look at him again , and covered my face on his chest.

"From very long... From the day I first saw you..." I didn't realize, but he was muttering something into my ears.

It was 2:00 am; I came out of the bathroom after brushing my teeth in my night dress. It was a long tiring day and I wanted to call it a day. I heard a knock on my door, I peeped and saw Pakhya standing.

"Hey brother..." I screamed out of excitement and hugged him tightly, IT's been ages, we both have seen each other properly. We do live under the same roof; still Pakhya had preferred to maintain a distance from the time we both have returned to India.

He smiled and walked inside the room.

"You are late sister" He winks, walking ... he sits at the edge of the bed.

I slowly reached him, OH NO!!!! Had he seen me and Raghav inside the car, I sat quietly beside him.

"You know kalpana... I'm sorry !!!" Pakhya was slow , " Kalpana... Are you alright?" Pakhya questioned, his tone was serious, he seemed tensed. I looked at Pakhya, trying to assess whether he was serious. He met my gaze squarely, steely, determination in his eyes, "You don't have to work so hard... I'm here... I will take the responsibility." Pakhya said. I blinked in confusion. I knew , there was something, he was always thinking, but what was that?

Pakhya looked at me again , sideways "Kalpana, I'm studying hard... very hard. I will get a scholarship, we both will return back to New York. You can enjoy your life; I will not burden you further... I promise to give my sister that life back which we had under our father" I was speechless. We had never talked about this before. I knew the life here was difficult, but Pakhya was never my responsibility, he is my little brother. It was my wish to give him a valuable life... but not under any burden. , But I could never grasp the extent of his feelings. Whenever I found him away from me, I always had the feeling of his not liking the environment, I always had the feeling of his misunderstanding me and cursing me for bringing him here.

I was wrong, Pakhya was no more a small child. I turned to look at his silent profile as he sat looking down the floor, wordlessly. My lovely brother- so full of life, so full of love.

From the last two years, my brother was trying hard for both of us. I stop breathing and everything inside me clenches tightly. Oooh ... that's so different. My mind is a whirl. Guilt over rule and I felt sorry for not trusting my little brother.

"Pakhya... Actually ... I was not on my work..."

Pakhya eyes widely opened and he stood all of the sudden.

"I met an old friend, he came today from New York" I can't hide my exasperation.

"Ooh... sister !!! A friend from New York... That's okay... Sleep well, have to leave" Pakhya said smiling, turning towards the doors.

"I will bring the days back sister... A man promise" Pakhya said, blowing a kiss before shutting the door back.

I grasp... Now I can say... It was a long lasting day, a day gifted my brother back. But my mind was occupied by him, this was the first time that someone has come to visit me, I feel I belong somewhere. Somewhere in the dark, I was in my bed. Turning on the light, I switched my phone on and text Raghav... "Raghav..." I have nothing coming in my mind, I love you, I screamed silently in my mind.

BUZZZ... The sound vibrated in my ears, I checked my phone and found a text from him which accelerated my heartbeat...

"hmmm... sleep Kalpana. I don't want my girlfriend stressed"

"I'm not stressed... Pakhya finally talked" I texted back

Buzzz... "What finally?"

"Will tell you later" I giggled, for irritating him at this time...

Buzzz... "Kalpana... you looked beautiful today, You have grown into the most prettiest woman, I loved your smile"

I blush... beautiful !!! Does he found me beautiful? I found myself smiling widely...

"And I loved your warm lips on mine" SEND... SHITT !!!! I flinched, GOD DAMMIT !!!! Did I send it !!! OH NOO !!!! What were you even thinking???

BUZZZ... "I love you... Now go back to sleep, before this texting convert into sexting !!"

I could not believe my eyes, I'm struck dumb. Cheep... this man!!! I cannot even save this message...

It was like a whirlwind, had swept me off my feet after, Raghav's arrival in my life. Everyday something or the other turned up. He found a house close to my office. It became a routine of us to first have a coffee date and then retire for our house.

"Take me to your flat" I screamed, while Raghav was still driving ignoring me.

"Raghav ... I'll rather jump out of the car, take me!!!!!" I screamed, I was irritated and wanted to hit his head hard.

"Are you kidding me? Kalpana!!!!" Raghav mocked.

"Raghav... every girlfriend goes to his boyfriend room. Even my colleques were discussing, how his boyfriend pamper her... But you... Why do you only take me to that cafe? Now don't tell me that you like that bitch waitress" I screamed at him.

"Kalpana... from where are you learning these words?" Raghav stopped his car immediately. His mouth tightened into a hard line.

"Raghav... Now don't give me that look, she always blush when she sees you, she hide her face under her long thick bangs. She likes you !!! It's not just me..." I purse my lips, exasperated

"What" he snaps

His gray eyes narrow, and he shakes his head. He smiles his dazzling head- locked-to-one side smile, I can't help but reflect his glorious smile back.

"I like only my girlfriend" he says dryly.

"Really" his words make me flush with pleasure.

"oh yes. And we are going to my flat, before meeting that waitress. Let me see my effect on her" Raghav winks and smiled mischievously.

My mouth drops open, "No Raghav..." I giggled

Hi everyone... I hope you all enjoy the chapter, Please leave behind your valuable comment below... Please ignore all my grammatical errors.

Chapter 8:

Raghav was standing in the kitchen preparing the dinner for both of us, leaving me alone on the couch with his boring tablet. Watching Raghav working in kitchen was more fun than playing any random games on nothing. He looks completely guileless, and he takes my breath away. I adore him more than anything and anyone. I do love this man unconditionally.

Raghav was indulged in cutting the capsicum; he didn't even looks at me for once. I saw his muscles tightened with every movement. He was standing in his boxers, the heat in the kitchen restrained any cloths to stay on him. He was working and I kept staring at him, I don't know which way my mood was going to go. It swings from north to south and back again in nano second.

I saw him blinking in darkness, struggling to wipe his eyes from his one hand while the other stays on the vegetable, and I can resist him no longer. I jumped from the couch and launch myself on him. I was not under my control; my legs ran towards him, my insides were burning with hot molten lava. I was breathing heavily. I was struggling with my every emotions. I wrapped my arms around his neck. I snuggle into his arms, resting my heat against his crock of his neck. He gently strokes my back.

"Kalpana..." Raghav whispered, his voice trails the hot sensation again all over my skin. I tighten my arms around his neck.

"I love you Raghav... I love you" I whispered into his ears. I felt his body relaxed, his hands crawled gently around my shoulders, covering my petite body.

"Kalpana..." he breathes as he buries his nose in my hair.

My body shivered with his touch, his hands swims down slowly from my shoulder towards my waist. His palm pressed my waist from either sides and I cannot control my heavy breathes..

"I want so much to show you now, how much I love you... Raghav" I whispered in my chocked voice, my eyes were closed, and I hiss. Raghav's hand reaches my hips and abruptly he pulls me up and made me sit on his kitchen slap.

"Open your eyes kalpana" I felt his breathe across my ears...

I opened my eyes and saw him staring at me, his expression anxious, he was standing between my legs while I sat on his slap. Grabbing my hands, he put them around his waist, his hands never leaving mines. Raghav glances down at me, his eyes unreadable. OHH !!!!!! He looks glorious- dirty, sweaty face, dark grey eyes. And suddenly it's there, from nowhere, that feeling. Oh my- the longing, the sensations, the vibrations. His lips parted as he gazes at me.

"Do you feel it?" he breathes.

I lost my voice, I said nothing. I wanted to cry for what he was doing to me. I wanted to find the solution for all those sensations, to calm myself down. I wanted to rub my body, if he does not do something fast.

"Yes"

"Oh Kalpana..." he groans and grabs me again, his arms snaking around me, one hand at the nape of my neck, tipping my head back.My lips parted, and I closed my eyes.

"Don't close your eyes... open it for me" Raghav said in his husky voice.

He gazes down at my mouth, in fact we gaze at each other, not touching. His eyes are dark, lips parted and he's breathing as hard as am I.

"Kalpana..."He whispered, His eyes wilder now, tilting his head a liltle right he swallow my throat, and suck it deep...

"OHHH..." I moaned...

His tongue was drawing circles while he was sucking it deep and deep...

"OHHH... I so much love your voice" He groaned. My hands pressed his waist tighter, I arched my back to make him taste my skin more. I was panting hard.

He gulped and gazed me, my lips were still parted, wanting his. He straightened himself and swallowed again, " Do you have any idea how alluring you look right now ?"

I bite my lips and shake my head. He closes his eyes briefly, and when he opens them again, they are blazing.

I tip my face up to meet his mouth and he leans down and runs his nose against mine, so it's the only contact between us. I am so hot in the confines of this kitchen slap with him. I want him- want him to do something with me.

Raghav stopped and gently hug me. He made my head rest against his chest, his hand gently stroking my head to and fro. Suddenly, Raghav pulls me into his warm embraces, kisses my hair and press my head against his chest tightly. I'm distracted by his chest hair as it tickles my cheeks. I heard Raghav saying nothing, his heart beat was thumping more than normal, and I felt him lost in some different world. He was in some his deep thoughts. I felt Raghav was with me, but still I was missing his attention, he made himself lost in some different world.

I can't look up at him. I can't bear to see him lost in someone else thoughts- It's too much. From nowhere my sub consciousness warmed me of his ex wife. Was it her? Was it she, who is not letting Raghav to be with me?

"Raghav ..." I murmur and the tension is loud and clear in my voice.

"Yes" Raghav Whispered, his voice husky, and laced with fear.

Gently I tip my face up and slowly remove my hand from his waist. He freezes seeing my face. His eyes widely opened, He swallows, with his jaw tenses as if his teeth are clenched. OH !!! my heart constricts and my throat tightens. Oh no, I'm going to cry...

I was right !!!! He was actually lost somewhere else... He was thinking of someone else... My brain push my thoughts only towards her wife, I may be over thinking, but my only thought wandered around his wife... HIS WIFE !!!!! Tears pool in my eyes and spill down my face, OH RAGHAV !!!! Was it she... U were thinking about all long? WAS his WIFE STILL RULING HIS HEART??

OH !!! I would- I"D do anything - and I want nothing more than you. But I know, I can't... and my tearss fall unbidden down my cheeks.

"NO PLEASE... Don't cry" he murmurs, his voice anguished as he wraps me tightly in his arms.

"Please don't cry Kalpana... you have already cried alot"

And I burst into full blown sobs, burying my face against his neck. I felt embarrased of my actions, I felt quilty FOR attracting a man who loved his wife alot and more over I think of me being so unlucky- with the only man whom I loved, for whom I can even die, is not mine. I failed in winning his soul. Failed in making me love in the way he might had once loved his wife or may still love her.

Pulling away, he claps my head with his both hands, tilt it backward and leans down to kiss me.

"Don't cry Kalpana, Please !!" he murmurs against mouth. "I'm aching for you to touch me, for me to feel you, but I can't... I can't. It's too much... Please don't cry" Raghav whispered, wiping my tears away from my face. Gently pecking my lips, making me close my eyes to feel his hot breathe on my lips.

But... Again, he took me wrong, NO !!!! I'm not a pervent... I don't desire him to touch me. Why don't he understand, Why can't he see, how much I love him. The anger inside me for him to love his wife more than me, rules everything inside me.

"NO... YES !!!!!! I want to touch you, Yes !!!! More than you'll ever know. Raghav... But to feel, you love your wife over everything else, over me...it wounds me deeply. I die, seeing you still want your wife. To see you like this... so hurt and afraid. Raghav I love you so much, why don't you understand" I screamed with all my voice, jerking his hand and pushing him away from me...

Raghav tipped, balancing himself, an agonized expression on his face, "Kalpana... where does SHE... come from?"he asked, completely puzzled.

My heart wrenched, I had lost my mind, "What do you think, I don't understand !! I know... I know, you are trying . You are simply trying to divert your attention from her, thus you chose the best option in me. You from always knew, I have feeling for you. Hence on the first day of our meeting after these two years, you simply proposed me... You didn't call me once in those two years and suddenly you realized and came all the way running for me !!!!!! NO RAGHAV... You only love your wife... PAKHI... I'm no one. I'm nothing... I'm just a medium of your distraction. I will be left alone... !!! All alone" I slip from his kitchen slap and found him all breathless and compassionate. I straighten and stare at him, he is watching me as if I might bolt, eyes wide, bemused. I clash the tears angrily out of my eyes with back of my hands, glaring at him.

He gazes at me warily.

"Kalpana" He pleads, extending his hands to reach mine.

"No..." and with that I walked out of the kitchen, running towards the front door to run out of his appartment. I heard his footstep following me. I reached the door and open it in one go. I sob harder, I was going to lose him again. He don't want to be with me... The thought killed me thousand times.

I heard the door locked hardly from my back. I saw his hands resting on the door in front of my face, with him standing behind me. He locked my ways. He turned me, with his one hand tightly piercing my left shoulder, while his other rest on the door, his nails digs inside my skin.

"Where are you going?" he says warily, gauging my reaction.

I gaze up at him, trying to frame my answers. I froze seeing his dark, intense eyes. I , for the first time saw a storm in him. His eyes turned red,he was breathing heavily like a bull, he seemed to have me killed the next moment.

"Why the f**k do you have to run away always?????? It's your third time... THIRD !!!!"

I pale. Shit, he's angry- with me. I blinked at him. "Why are you angry?" I whispered.

"Because... you don't understand!!!" he shouts at me. He sighs in exasperation and shakes his head. "Dare you go out of this house?" He said jerking me away. I hit the door back.

I blanch. Shit. I look down at my hands. Knotted. I just to understand.

"You said you love me !!!! Tell me the meaning of love... How and what made you know that you LOVE ME!!!!! How?? SPEAK !!!! I glance at him and he is staring at me, his eyes eide. I opened my mouth to speak but

"SHUT UP" He shouted

He sighs again. He is really pissed. "You cannot imagine, what you have done with me long two years before, you meets me daily Kalpana... DAILY !!!! But one day, you decided to leave me there alone !!!! ALONE... And didn't even bother to discuss, just left me alone like others" He smirk with the look of disgust.

I was hell shocked with what with what he was confessing...But I wanted to know, what more he had suppressed deep inside his heart. I stood rooted at my place.

"You know Kalpana ... Pakhi was nothing for me. We were married for the sake of our family. THAT LADY MEANT NOTHING TO ME !!!!! Not that time... not now.! Still you put blames for that lady. I don't know, what made you feel I'm thinking of her... when from the last two years you have been with me everywhere !!! I missed my nights when I sat inside the car only to stare the girl whose all focus was in the sky searching her dad in every stars, I hate that feeling when you left in that parking lot, where I stood for complete three hours waiting for you to return back... But you didn't even care!!!!I don't know , how you got to know that you love me !!!! But I know, what it feels to see the tears and fear in those eyes which once showed you a hope" Raghav was breathless, he was hurt.

"Ragh.." I moved closer to him,

"Stay there" Raghav commanded. And I lost my rythm.

"My all hopes were shattered when you left. I only came to hospital to see what damages were made to that lady, but there I saw you. If I thank Pakhi for anything, then it would be her that accident. NO... Your said, my WIFE !!! Kalpana !!! I liked you from that day, I loved your beautiful smile. You hugged me for no reason, and I found my heaven in you... I didn't propose you on our first meeting, if you know !!!!! All I don't want to share you with anyone... not even with Pakhya !!!! KALPANA... why don't you understand I'm CRAZY for you.

Raghav stops and took a deep breathe...

There was silence inside the room... we both stood there at our place.

"I travelled 3 miles after 2 years because... Kalpana !!! Pakhi was the worst experience of my life. Please accept she is my past and you are my future. Please trust me !!!" He closes his eyes briefly as he struggles to contain his temper. I swallow and watch anxiously. This could go either way.

" I'm ordering the food... And Dare you leave again, call Pakhya and tell him , you are staying here tonight" he says quietly and with that he leaves the room.

I exhale. I hadn't realised I'd been holding my breathe.

Hi everyone. This one is a small update. I personally choice an option of giving short update, as this will help to use less time on my story, and even help me to give update on daily basis. Giving long update is very tiring. And, if you feel the story is extending unnecessarily, please share your opinion. I would love to do the way you want this story to proceed further. Sorry for any grammatical errors. I will update my index later. Thank you

Chapter 9:

Tears swim in my eyes. I hastily leave my position and bolt to the couch to escape myself from him. I clutch my forehead. Shit !! I am such an idiot!!! How can I behave so childish? How can I act so immature? How can I be so insecure? He was right, if I stand for loving him, then why I cannot trust him. Why do I have to be so insecure from any relation I have with me. I get jealous from Pakhya, whenever I see my father cuddling him; I was insecure from him then. I have been unsecured from other girls of my school over my friends. But today I crossed all the heights. I got unsecured from the person who is no more.

Can I see him again? Could I bear it? Do I want to see him? I close my eyes and tilt my head back as the grief and longing lance through me. Of course I do!!!!! I felt ashamed of my every actions. Torturous memories flash through my mind"our first meeting, holding hands, coffee table, kissing, his gentleness, his humour and his dark, brooding, sexy stares.

Checking my phone, I find it in my pocket, so I quickly call Pakhya

"Hi, Pakhya"

"Hey sister" his tone is so warm and welcoming, it's almost enough to push me over him.

"I can't talk sis for long, actually busy with some online test"

"oh !!! Pakhya actually I'm wanting to stay with my friend tonight"

"Oh... That New York friend?" he sound excited

"Yes" I smile my first genuine smile after that blasting explosion.

"Hmmm... Don't worry kalpana !!! I will manage here, It's your time to enjoy. But please put my no. on the speed dial and message me the address of the place" Pakhya sounds like a big brother. I giggled for the way he was talking to me.

"Hmm... I'll do"

"See you in the morning"

"Bye pakhya"

"Bye"

As I ended the call, I messaged Raghav's address to Pakhya's no. I was surprised by the way, Pakhya was now treating the situation. I always knew, Pakhya cared for me a lot... But now he feels, I m ruining my life for all his responsibility, which I knew was not correct.

I'm going to stay with him for the entire night. In my mind I visualize Raghav's face the last time, I saw him as he left. His tortured expression haunts me.

"Were you talking to pakhya?" Raghav ask as he strolls and sat beside me on that very couch.

"Yes..." I flush.

"He raises his eyebrow, his interest quickly piqued, keeping his phone on the table

"What did he say" Raghav asked

"He asked me to give your address and to register his no. in speed dial" my mouth dries. He looks glorious, his skin was glowing with his sweat rolling down on his hard muscled chest. He looked marvelous except he's scowling at me.

"And to enjoy" I murmured, glancing once at him.

I peek up at the beautiful man besides me, and his mouth pressed into a hard line.

"Raghav, why don't you go and wear your T shirt"

"It's hot here" He said groaning in frustration.

"It is!!!! Still I'm in my all clothes, have some manners and go... Wear your clothes" I murmur, feeling extraordinarily brave.

Raghav narrow his eyes, his face soften as I struggle to keep a straight face, and a trance of smile kisses his lovely sculptured lips.

"Well?" he whispered, his voice soften

He inhales sharply, "I'm sorry" he murmurs and reaches over and clasps my hand."I'm sorry for raising my voice on you" he adds.

"Raghav,I--"

"No Kalpana. I'm sorry for shouting at you"

"Raghav... please... that was my fault" I whispered trying to control my emotionsin check

He tug my hand, and before I know I'm on his lap. He has his arms around me."I've dove it today, but will never again repeat this... NEVER AGAIN" he breathes.

He is pressing me to his chest. I melt. I rest my head against him. I smell his salty sweat flowing all over his skin. I felt it like a serine, like my home. He was soothimg my pain, still knowing the fault was mine. He took it on him, and making me feel quilt free. He clasps my hand and grazes my knuckles with his thumb, and all my tensions were running out of my body. I closed my eyes and allow myself the illusion that all is well, it soothes my ravaged soul.

A few minutes later, the door bells ring.

"Wait"- Raghav shifts me off his lap.

"Who could it be?" I gasp.

"Food delivery...' He spoke gently giving me a warm, avuncular smile that makes me feel safe. I smile back.

"Wait!!!! Wear your T shirt" I screamed , throwing the cloth on the table on him.

He walks with some packets of food and placed it on his dining table, intimidating me to reach. As I reached the chair next to where he was standing, he leans forward, cups my chin, tilting my head back. His mouth hovers over mine, and closing his eyes, he runs a trail of kisses from corner of my eyes to corner of my mouth.

A small moan escapes my mouth as my inside melts and unfurl.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you" he breathes. I closed my eyes and fall on him. I did not have any tendency left to think or reciprocate anything further.

"I got unsecured" I whispered into his ears, breathing heavily, panting

"come lets eat" he softly gently stoking my back whispered.