Posted:
Socho agar Ramayan mei Ram Sita nahi hamare Samla hote aur Hamari Kamsin kali Kamla ka ho jata apharan to kya hota? 😆
Haan to ye Kahani start hti hai Raja Prem se jinki teen Raniyaa thi Maya, Gauri, Manda kyunki Raja Prem bht rangeen mijaj aadmi the.😛 Unke the 4 bete: Sahil, Vitthal, Ramu and Extramu. Wase to unke Kingdom me sab kuch theek thak tha lekin problem start hui Prince Sahil ki shaadi ke baad. Sahil ki Wife itna khati thi ki unki shaadi ki first anniversary bhi nhi aai thi aur usse phle hi food storage ka size kam hone laga tha. Isse phle ki situation starvation tak pohche King Prem ne de diya Sahil aur Kamla ko 14 years ka vanvaas. Prince Vitthal bhi khushi khushi bhai bhabhi ke saath jungle me chala gaya for a change, kyunki wo apni wife Neetu ke haath ke bane khane se bore ho gaya tha.
In the Jungle,
Kamla: Swami kab aege mere Sahil swami wapas?! Kb milega mujhe bhojan(food) aur uske baad mai karugi unke saath Jungle ki hari hari ghas par mungle. 😳 Kash aaj bhi wo kabab mei haddi Vitthal shaam ko laghu shanka ke liye jae to mujhe aur mere swami ko kuch intimate time mil jae.
Sahil: Kamla oo Kamla dekh mai aa gaya.
Kahil: Oh, kitni der laga di aapne Swami! Bhhok ke mare mere pait ke mushak(Rats) ghode ban gaye hai aur tezi se daud rahe hai. Agar aap tanik aur late ho jate to aapki Kamla bhook ke mare apne pran tyag deti.
Sahil: Na Kamla naa aisa na bole devi.
Kamla: Waise aaj bhojan me kya lae hai?!
Sahil: Aan ummm wo kand mool(fruits).
Kamla: kya!😲 Aaj fir se fal?! Roz roz ye kandmool khakar dekhiye meri kamar 50 se 40 ho gayi.
Vithal: *50 or 40, kamra to kamra hi rahega*
Sahil: Lekin ye asa waisa fal nahi hai Kamla ye dekh kitna sundar hai.
Kamla: Wah! Ye itna gol aur gulabi fal to maine aaj tak nahi dekha Swami! Kaha se le aae ye?
Sahil: Bas kya btau itne uche paid par chadkar todkar laya hu tere liye ye fal.
Vitthal: Bhratha shree jhoot na bole ye to humne niche jhadiyo par se hi tode hai.
Sahil: Shhh! Chup ho ja Vitthal kahi Kamla na sun le.
Kamla: Lae ye fal mujhe de mai jaldi se bhojan kar lu fir vishram karugi. Arey Vitthal ye tum piche haath me kya chupa rahe ho?
Vitthal: K... kuch nahi bhabhi shree.
Kamla: Nahi kuch to hai! Dikhai mujhe?
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Kamla: Arey ye kya tumne ye fal chupaya kyun, mujhe kyu nhi diya?
Vitthal:Wo, wo bhabhi mujhe laga ye phal kharab hai. Laiye mai isko bahar fek du.
Kamla: Kyun bekar kyu? Mujhe to ekdum sahi lagraha hai. Tumhare bhai ne itni mehnat se toda hai. Mai to isko jarur khaugi.
Aur bina dono bhai ke becahre pait ki parvaah kiye Kamla start kr dete hai ek k baad ek fruit thoosna. Kher Sahil to jase tase raat mei jungle me mungle karke Kamla ke saath bhook ko ignore kar leta tha, lekin, Vitthal ke pass to ye option bh nh tha. Bechara isse acha Mehal me hi tha, kam se kam khana to milta tha. 😆
Sahil: Ewww, ye badbu kaha se aa rahi hai?! Kamla ab tum kand mool khakar bhi gas chodne lagi?
Kamla: Ummm nam nam chapad chapad, na nahi Swami chapad chapad, ye mai nahi hu.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ( TV me rakshasho ki entry ase haha krte hi hoti hai naa)😛
Mai hu sone ki lanka ke King ki behan, mera naam hai Pakhi.
Vitthal: Okay. Lekin ye bata akhiri baar kab nahai thi?
Pakhi: Umm😕 yaad nahi.
Vitthal: Ufff, teri ye badbu hamare praan le legi. Bhaiya Sahil aap to itne gyani hai, in jase logo ki badbu ke liye kuch karte kyun nahi?
Sahil: Hum kuch nahi kar sakte Vitthal, lejin bhavishya me ase logo ke liye ek yantra bnaya jaega jise deodrant khkar bulaya jaega.
Kamla: Chapad chapad...
Vutthal: Hmmm bhavishya to bhavishya me aega. Dekh Pakhi tu yaha se chali ja abhi ke abhi!
Pakhi: Ha ha ha. Chali tu mai jaugi lekin phle ye gol gol aurat jo ye gol gol sundar sa fal kha rahi hai mujhe bhi khana hai.
Kamla: Chal hat chudail! Mai apna khana share nhi karti.
Pakhi:Ha ha ha mai rakshashi hu. Jo chaiye wo lekar rhti hu. Ye gol fal mujhe de de gol matol.
Kamla: Nahi chudail mai nahi dugi.
Pakhi: Ye gol fal mujge de de gol matol.
Kamla:Nahi.
Sahil: Dekh Vitthal bhavishya me ek chalchitra banega jisme asa hi milta julta dialogue hoga aur wo chalchitra bht naam kamega.
Vitthal:Parantu bhaiya ye chalchitra kya hota hai?
Sahil: Chod, kisi aur din samjhauga.
Kamla: Door hat mere pass mat ana chudail!
Sahil: *Oh no agar is badbudar rakshashi ne Kamla ko chukar usme bhi badbu ghusa di to mai raat ko mungle kase karuga uske saath!*
Dekh rakshashi Pakhi meri Kamla se pass mat jana warna ye choori chal jaegi.
Pakhi: Ha ha ha teri itni himmat ki tu mujh par choori chalaega? Ye le chu liya gol matol ko ab bol?
KHACHAK
Pakhi: Aaahhh!Meri naak! Meri naak!
Aur tab aakash se aakashvani hoti hai jo bas Sahil ko sunai deti hai.
Ye kya kiya prabhu Sahil aapne! Bhale hi ye ek Rakshashi hai, lekin hai to stree(aurat) Aapko ek stree ki naak nahi katni chaiye thi! Ab apko iska dand jhelna padega! Bhavishya me ye apki beti bankar apke ghar mei paida hogi aur apke sarvanash ka karan banegi.
Pakhi: Dusht, tune meri naak kati! Ab dekh mere bhrata shree tera kya haal kartehai!
Kamla: He he he acha kiya apne Swami. 😆
Pakhi: Tere ko bhi dekh lugi gol matol!
Vitthal: Bhag! Isse phle ki mai tere kaan bhi kaat du!
Sone ki lanka, Rajaka darbaar
Pakhi: Bhrata shree.
Rakshash Raghav: Ha ha ha lagta hai hamari behan Pakhi aa gayi. Aap sab darbariyo se anurodh hai ki apne apne mask phn le, warna badbu se aapke pran chin sakte hai.
Pakhi:Bhrata shree!😭
Raghav: Arey hamari pyaari behna ke naino me asru?! Aur ye tumyari naak par se rakt kyu bh raha hai?! Kisne kiya ye haal tumhara!😡
Pakhi ne suna di apne bhai Lankapati Raghav ko aapbiti.
Raghav: Kya us dusht manav ki itni himmat! Lekin tumhe wo fal mangne ki kya jarurat thi? Hamare mahal me kya khane ki kami hai?!
Pakhi: Wo sab mai nahi janti bhaiya. Aap vachan de mera badla jarur lege?
Raghav: Magar mai aur tumhari bhabhi shree to kal se 6 months ki vacation par ja rahe the?
Pakhi: Aapko meri rakhi ki kasam!
Raghav: Theek hai behan chutti par kbhi baad me chala jauga. Hum vachan dete hai tumhe hum un dusht manavo ko sabak sikhakar hi rahege.
Darbaris: Lankeshwar Raghav ki jai, lankeshwar raghav ki jai,...lankeshwar Raghav ki jai.
Next day Raghav decides to go to Samla's Kutiya(hut) in jungle.
In the Jungle,
Kamla: Vitthal tum ab tak yahi ho! Laghusanka ke liye nahi gaye kya?
Vitthal: Kuch nikalne ke liye kuch khana bhi padta hai!
Kamla: Kya?😕
Vitthal: Kuch nahi bhabhi shree aap nahi samjhogi.
Sahil: Aaj apni Kamla ke liye bhojan me kya lau?😃
Kamla: Bap, lana to wahi kand mool hi hai apko fir puchte kyun ho?
Sahil: 😛
Kamla: Arey wah, ati Sundar! Dekho dekho Swami kitni sundar sone ki bhains!
Vitthal: Haan bhaiya asi sundar bhains phli baar dekhi.
Kamla: Jae na Swami wo bhains mere liye lekar ae. Kitne din hue acha bhojan nahi kiya. Aaj is bhains ko pakajar pait bharke bhojan karege.
Sahil: Tera dimag kharab ho gaya hai kya Kamla!? Ye bhains bht tez daudi hai. Isko pakadna bht hi mushkil hai.
Vitthal: (Sahil ke kaan mei) Chale jaiye na bhaiya. Dekhiye kitni badi bhains hai. Shayad aaj hame bhi bhojan mil jae.
Sahil ko apni biwi par itna pyaar nahi aya jitni apne bhai ki sukhti haddiyo par daya.
Sahil: Theek hai mai jata hu sone ki bhains ko pakadne. Lekin Vitthal tu apni bhabhi ka khayal rakhna. Chahe kuch bhi ho jae unhe akela mat chodna.
Vitthal: Ji bhaiya.
Aur fir start hota hai Sahil aur Bhains ka Tom And Jerry game. Bhains aage aage aur Sahil piche piche.
Kuch der baad,
Aah! Vitthal! Kamla! Aah!
Kamla: Ye to tumhare bhaiya ki awaz hai vitthal! Lagta hai wo kisi sankat me hai! Tum jao jakar dekho shigra hi!
Vitthal: Ye bahiya ki awaz nahi ho sakti bhabhi. Avashya hi koi dhongi hoga.
Aaah! Bachao!
Kamla: Tumhare bhai kisi badi musibat ke hai Vitthal! Unhe kuch ho gaya to mere liye bhojan kaun laega?! Tum jao unki sahayata karne. Agar mujhe dhanus chalana aata to mai hi chali jati, wase bhi maine abhi abhi breakfast kiya hai, mai jyada tez daud nahi sakti.
Vitthal:Maine bhrata shree ko vachan diya hai ki mai apko chodkar nahi jauga. Mai majboor hu bhabhi. Mai nahi ja sakta.
Kamla: Neech, Papi mujhe pata hai tu kyu nahi ja raha. Tere buri nazar hmesha se hai mujh par. Tu yahi chahta hai na ki tere bhaiya mar jae aur tu mujh par kabza kar le.
Vitthal: Bhabs, what are you talking about? 😲
Kamla: Hain?😕
Vitthal: Matlab ye aa kya bol rahi hai bhabhi shree. Jiske pass Neetu jaisi param sundri wo aap jasi mot... wo kisi bhi parai stree par kyu buri nazar rakhega?
Kamla: Wo sab mai nahi janti. Tu jaa aur apne bhaiya ko lekar aa.
Vitthak: Theek hai bhabhi shree ab to mai chala hi jata hu.
Kampa: Haan jaldi jaa.
Vitthal: *Ek kaam karta hu jane se phle Vitthal Rekha kheech deta hu bhabhi ki suraksha ke liye. Lekin kisme itni taqat hai jo inko nuksaan pohcha sake. Chodo!*
Ab kutiya me rh gayi kamsin Kamla akeli. Aur Rakshash Raghav jisne Sahil ki awaz ki copy ki thi usko mil gaya chance Badla lene ka. Raghav ban jata hai sadhu babu,
Raghav:Bhiksham de, bhiksam de.
Kamla: Oho in rishi muniyo ko bhi chain nahi jungle me bhi bhiksha mangne aa jate hai!
Raghav: Bhiksham de bhiksham de.
Kamla: Shama kijiega baba, lekin mere to apne hi bhojan ke vande hai, mai bhala aapko kya bhiksha dugi.
Raghav: *Behan Pakhi ne sahi kaha tha isko to hamara bas sone aur khane wala bhai Meesha bhi nahi utha sakta!*
Kamla: Apka jhola(bag) to bht bhara bhara lagta hai baba. Agar isme anaz hai to aap hi ek mutthi anaz mujhe bhiksha me de dijiye.
Raghav: 😲 *Ye kya ghotala hai?! Bhikshukh se bhee mang rahi hai ye aurat* Ummm acha to fir thoda sa jal ji pila do devi.
Kamla: *Abhi mere Sahil aSwami bhains ko pakadkar late hi hoge. Usko pakane me bhi to bht jal chaiye hoga. Nahi nahi mai is baba ko jal nahi de sakti* shama Kijeya baba meri kutiya mejal bhi nahi hai.
Raghav: Arey kuch to de de jalim stree! Dekho devi hum rishi muni hai kahi krodh mei koi shrap na de de tumhe.
Kamla: Nahi nahi baba ji aisa mat kijiega! Phle hi jungle me badi mushkil se rh rahi hu mai. Thoda sa jal hai shayad abhi lati hu
Jaisi hi Kamla ne diya Raghav baba ko jal ka lota, usne pakad li Kamla ki kalai, lekin, isse phle ki wo Kamla ko khiche Kamla hi usko uthakar patak deti hai. Rakshak Raghav ki 10 Rakshasho ki strength and power bhi Fail hoti dikhti hai. Raghav jase tase uthta hai aur Kamla ko unke vaidh ji ka bnaya hua natural chloroform sungha deta hai. Kamla girti hai jameen par...DHAM.
Lanka ke 10 Rakshash milkar utha le jate hai behosh Kamla ko Lanka.
Shaam ko wapas aate hai Sahil aur Vitthal haatho me kand mool liye 😆 Naa, sone ki bhains na pakdi gayi unse. 😆
Idhar udhar, yaha waha sab jagah dhunda Sahil ne apni Kamla ko par wo kahi nahi mili. Sahil udas to hota hai lekin jub Kamla ki absence mei dono bhaiyo ko ache se khane ko milta hai to Kamla ka gam swaha ho jata hai.
Kamsin Kamla ko hosh aata hai pure one week ke baad.
Kamla: Mai kaha hu? Mere Swami kaha hai?
Rakshashi: Aap lanka ki Ashok vatika me hai devi. Mujhe yaha par apki dekhbhal ke liye rakha gaya hai.
Kamla: Mai yaha kaise pohchi? Kaun laya hai mujhe?
Raghav: Mai.
Ekant. Sab log yaha se jao mujhe devi se ekhant mei baat karni hai.
Kamla: 😕
Raghav: Mai hu lanka pati Raghav aur ye hai meri sone ki lanka. Tumhare pati ne meri behan Pakhi ki naak kaat di isliye maine tum sabse badla lene ke liye tumhara apharan kiya hai. Ha ha ha.
Kamka: Kya! Nahi nahi mujhe chod do! Mera sab kuch mere Swami Sahil ka hai! Mar jaugi lekin kisi parae purush ko khud ko haath bh nahi lagane dugi!
Raghav: 😕 Shant Mate Shant! Mujhe apke saath asa waisa kuch karne ka koi irada nahi hai. Mai apni patni Kalpi ke saath bht khush hu. Mai janta hu kisi stree ka apharan karna apradh hai, lekin Mai to apko apke pati se alag karke pareshan karna chahta hu. Aap chintit na ho. Aap meri is Ashok vatika me har tarah se surakshit hai. Aapko jo chahiye bas naam lena aur wo hajir ho jaega.
Kamla: Bhojan!
Raghav: Ji?
Kamla: *Gud Gud* mujhe bhook lagi hai. Mere bhooke pait se aawaz bhi aa rahi hai. Mujhe abhi ke abhi bhojan chahiye.
Raghav: Avashya.
Raghav to dasi: In devi ko ache se bhojan karao, aur dhyan rahe inhe kisi bhi chiz ki taklif na ho, ye jo mange inhe diya jae. Acha devi ab hum chalte hai.
After a month,
Finance Mantri Sammy: Maharaj, hamara sara khazana, sari sone ki asarfiya(coins) bhojan me hi khtm ho chuka hai. Ab aur bhojan kharidne ke liye ek asarfi tak nahi bachi. Aapki wo mehman Kamla bhooke hathi ki tarah bhojan karti hai, yaha tak ki Ashok vatika ka ek fal bh nh choda usne. Hamara rajya ghor sankat mei hai Maharaj, ase to hanari praza bhook se mar jaegi!😳
Raghav: Hmmm. Ek to mujhe ye samajh nahi aata ki ab tak to us manav Sahil ko pta chal gaya hoga ki uski patni ka apharan humne kiya hai. To wo isko lene kyu nahi ata?😕
Sammy: Aakhir apko asi afat ka apharan karne ki jarurat hi kya thi maharaj?!🥱
Raghav: Bas kya batae mantri Sammy, behan ke pyaar me mare gaye!
Sammy: Ab hame kya agya hai Maharaj?
Raghav: Hamari ye lanka bhi to sone ki hai. Ek kaam kijiye thoda thoda sona isi se le lijiye.
Sammy: Wo to thik hai Maharaj, lekin ase hi Lanka tod todkar pait bharte rahe to jald hi chat bhi nahi rahegi sar par.😔
Raghav: Ufff! Ye sankat to kuch jyada hi bhayanak hai!😲
Sammy: Apko shigra hi koi thos kadam uthana hoga Maharaj. Aap ek kaam kijiye Sahil ko patra likhkar bol dijiye ki wo apni Patni ko akar le jae.
Raghav: Hmmm yahi sahi rahega. Likhiye patra Maha mantri ji.
To Raghav bhejta hai Sahil ko requesting letter ki wo akar Kamla ko le jae.
Priye Manav Sahil, sabse phle to hum apse shama mangna chahte hai. Humne aapki patni ka apharan kar bht bada apradh kiya hai. Lekin humne devi Kamla ko yaha kisi prakar ki koi kami nahi hone di. Ab hame hmari galti ka ehsaas ho gaya hai. Isiliye hamara apse haath jodkar nivedan hai ki aap yaha Lanka me aae aur apni patni ko sammanpurvak yaha se le jae. Apne bhai Vitthal ko bhi saath lekar aae aur pure ek hafte tak yaga Lanka ka anand uthae.
Sahil ko Kamla ko wapas lane me koi interest nahi tha. Aapne pair par kaun kulhadi mare? 😆 Wo letter ko padkar use fadkar hawa me uda deta hai.
Poor Raghav 2 aur letters Sahil ko likhta hai lekin wo bhi igonred. Tab tak Lanka ka size bhi aadha ho chuka hota hai. Ab Raghav ko gussa aa jata hai wo Sahil ke against yudh ki ghosna kar deta hai. Sahil ko bhi ladai manjoor thi, lekin Kamla nahi.😛 Aur in sab baton se anjan Kamla khane pine me mast thi.😃
Ab Raghav aur Sahil ye decide karte hai ki jo ladai harega wahi Kamla ko rakhega.😆
Pure 2 months tak ladai chlti hai aur Raghav kisi tarah Sahil ko hara deta hai.
Ab ata hai time Vidai ka Kamla ki lanka se. Sare lanka vasi ghee ke diye jalakr ye din celebrate kar rahe the. Lekin Sahil aur Vitthal ke aansu rukne ka naam hi nhi le rahe the.
Kamla: Mat roe mere Swami. Ab to mai wapas aa rahi hu aapke pass.😃
Sahil: *Usi ka to gam hai.*🤔
Aur tab Vitthal ke dimag ki ghanti bajti hai aur wi deta hai Sahil ko ek jhakas idea.
Sahil: Wahi ruk ja Kamla! Mere pass ane se phle tujhe Agni pariksha deni hogi! 😈
Kamla: Agni pariksha?😕
Sahil: Haan. Tu pure 6 mahine ek paraye mard ke saath bitakar aai hai. Hum kase maan le ki tu abhi bhi phle jasi pavitra hai?
Kamla: Thek hai Swami. Lekin aap bhi to 6 mahine mere bina rahe hai. Mai kase maan lu aap pavitra hai? Chaliye mera haath pakidye dono saath mei agni me kudege.😈😛
Sahil: He he mai to majak kar raha tha Kamla. Tu to serious ho gayi. 😃
Aur is tarah ho jata hai Samla ka milan fir se. ur isi ke saath hamari Samlayan ka bhi the end hta hai. 😃
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