Story : Abhijeet Ke Ateet Ka (Asli) Raaz - Page 9

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visrom thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#81
Thanks Diya and GS. ๐Ÿ˜Š

GS...where have you been all these days?
GIRL_SHERLOCK thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#82
Hey Visrom!
Just busy with School and stuff.
I hope to be more active now. ๐Ÿ˜Š
debasree04 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#83
Finally read it!
I told u earlier also that its very difficult to match with FW's version specially when FW's writers are very poor in facts but vis, u did it very well...๐Ÿ‘
Most importantly i found the most imp clarification of Abhi's behaviour towards ACP sir & Daya sir in your version while FW failed to show that why Abhi behaved weirdly...is it due to medicine or his guilt of killing someone...i love that u choose 2nd one in your version rather medicines.
Ronnie/Ranvijay part is quite interesting specially his real identity...
Its mentioned in few episodes that Abhijeet's kidnapping is related to some drug racket/gang [If i m not wrong] & your version does not oppose that fact...
Very good job vis...really enjoy it!
gadhadada thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#84

VIS DII, I really Enjoyed Your Story alot...๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
its Something called Outstanding...โญ๏ธโญ๏ธ
Especially to Fill those Holes which FW makes by their Blunders...๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†
Except BLUE Part (cz it presented by FW ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰)...
I Loved all...๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
That Dream part...๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š
U really showed Sharp Shine Sharp Brain...โญ๏ธโญ๏ธ
Loved when Baray Bhai Prepared that Sketch of DILIP...โญ๏ธโญ๏ธ
then contact ASHA to Search that Man...โญ๏ธโญ๏ธ
then VASHI Contact...โญ๏ธโญ๏ธ
went DILIP house ...โญ๏ธโญ๏ธ
after that His Mental Trauma...โญ๏ธโญ๏ธ
to Escape or Face...โญ๏ธโญ๏ธ
Awesome...โญ๏ธโญ๏ธ
then Bhai Entry...๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰
I Liked that Cheena Jhapti revealed that Sketch...๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†
then Bhai whole Story...๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
i really find it APT and in CONNECTION...โญ๏ธโญ๏ธ
hmmm, Simply Splendid...โญ๏ธโญ๏ธโญ๏ธ
U really Connect Both MEMORY LOSS and that DREAM or say Undercover Mission Awesomely...โญ๏ธโญ๏ธโญ๏ธ
its really beyond Expectation Point which U Portrayed...โญ๏ธโญ๏ธโญ๏ธ
I Like that whole Mission where ACP Shelinder Headed it...๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
Bhai Inclusion was Unexpected...๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ‘
then ACP Sir Entry and asking about Baray Bhai Existence in Mumbai...๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
then that AD...๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
Yes, That Inclusion Part U showed Little Hurriedly as I dunt think that any Gang without any Scanning about background of their Customers, Entering them so Easily especially New Customers...๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜•
then that Plan...๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š
very Good ...๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ
But how that news revealed that any Police Officer be there...?๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜•
any Insider Involvement... hmmm...๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰
then whole Shooting Idea was Fantastic...๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
after that ACP Sir Teasing and then Revealing that...๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
RONNIE Suspense was Classic and His Revealing was too...โญ๏ธโญ๏ธ
I Loved that in that Scenario, Abhijeet Sir Sharp Qualities...โญ๏ธโญ๏ธ
then RONNIE Arrests and DILIP Death...โญ๏ธโญ๏ธ
Really DII, Hats Off as its an Absolute Masterpiece...โญ๏ธ
its really ABHIJEET KAY ATEETH KA RAAZ...๐Ÿ‘
Thank You so very much...๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ

NOTE: plz Tell Me, in which Epi ACP Sir said that Bhai is with Baray Bhai... thatswhy U make Him His Junior...๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜•

visrom thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#85
Thanks for reading and commenting, GD. ๐Ÿค—

Originally posted by: gadhadada


Yes, That Inclusion Part U showed Little Hurriedly as I dunt think that any Gang without any Scanning about background of their Customers, Entering them so Easily especially New Customers...๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜•
Do you think they didn't? I preferred to keep it in the background. I am writing the story from duo's side. Abhijeet didn't know if they did any background check and he didn't tell Daya in 1997, so when Daya is narrating the flashback he doesn't know.
It's something like - Ronnie comes to pick each caller and if he notices something wrong he shoots them immediately. he also takes the address of a known person, right (forgot what I wrote as it's more than a month back) He sends it to his team and they check. Abhijeet managed to escape the background checks well.
But how that news revealed that any Police Officer be there...?๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜•
You can assume that Daya was trying to track the location of the landline number to which Abhijeet made the call. It was mentioned in the paper. Somehow the goons came to know that police is tracking them...and maybe someone sent a message to the boss. Boss thought it's only one. (he's a fool ๐Ÿ˜†)

NOTE: plz Tell Me, in which Epi ACP Sir said that Bhai is with Baray Bhai... thatswhy U make Him His Junior...๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜•
Stolen Dynamite - at the start ACP tells Jayant..that Daya bhi uske saath kaam kar chuka hai. And we know that Daya called him 'sir', means he was his junior. Rest of it...the first meeting of duo etc is my own.
The Vashi arms case is also mentioned in the scene where ACP shows previous photos to Abhijeet after the memory loss. ๐Ÿ˜› I just made Daya and Dilip part of the case.

Edited by visrom - 10 years ago
dreamfanatic thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#86
Though I have read the story earlier but I couldn't give FB due to some personal reasons..๐Ÿ˜Š
Today I read the story again...๐Ÿ˜ƒ
It's really something brilliant di..โญ๏ธ
I really enjoyed whole ateet ka raaz...๐Ÿ‘
It was really interesting to read the real background story...โญ๏ธ
Which giving the reader indeed something as ATEET...๐Ÿ˜ƒ
Rather just side effects of medicines...
You gave a MIDAS touch to it as honestly its one of most apt and GOOD ideas/series FW could have made but they ruined it...
I really loved the whole explanation from daya sir side...
Abhijeet sir trauma and still his brain working condition...๐Ÿ‘โญ๏ธ
It's a really enjoyable story di...๐Ÿ˜ƒโญ๏ธ
Thank you so much di..๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ณ


visrom thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#87
double posted sorry.
Edited by visrom - 9 years ago
visrom thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#88
Thanks for reading and commenting after such a long time. ๐Ÿ˜†

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