Dear Friends,
A short story from Nachiket's POV. This is for Sukhi
An inspired piece, I read something like this sometime back.
It's a bit weird. But I guess I am at work, so it's fine.
Aapke Feedback sar ankhon par ...
Enjoy!
And a SPECIAL THANKS to the silent readers here. You guys rock!
...
My heart is so full of you,
So full of you
There is no room for anything more.
What other wish can I wish?
What other plan can I plan?
What other dream can I dream?
And what for?
Whatever for?
- Most Happy Fella
I have heard that dreams are the language of the subconscious. That the thoughts, feelings, emotions, and ideals we do not allow into the light of our daytime ponderings surface when we slip into the gossamer whisperings of sleep. This is probably true, although I just don't know for sure.
I have heard that dreams were answers to questions that we haven't yet figured out how to ask.
Ever since these past few years, I have been plagued by my own imaginings regarding Ragini. Once the boundaries of thought and awareness have been passed, an all-out war is raging within my own head. My need for her. My want for her. Her profound absence from my life. My desires for her. But since this battle occurs only within my own mind, no matter the outcome, I am the conquered.
I dream of her every night. No matter the dream, she always puts in an appearance. I suppose this is because she is as much a part of me as I myself am; I do not know whether I want to be the same to her, or whether that is a punishment for which she is undeserving.
But what frightens me is that I dream of her walking away from my life. Though this would seem appropriate at other points in our relationship, now, when we both are together, as per the contract, it is frightening. She leaves, and I am here with the rest of the family. And others.
"So much, Nachiket. We missed so much; we lost so much."
She whispers this, then walks away. I am left to cling desperately to what is left me of her, and follow her, after an endless time -- or is it entirely too soon?-- along that same uncertain path.
To me, the meaning behind this is almost painfully obvious, yet I can do nothing about it. My mind, the world, the universe, is screaming that life and our togetherness is only for so long. Do our very souls not cry out for their other half? Why should we go against that which we most desire?
In a world so full of hatred and ambiguous truths, every person deserves another to cling to, to derive comfort from, to take mutual pleasure with. More than any other person I have ever met, or likely will ever meet, she makes me whole. She completes me. And serendipitously I would like to believe the same - that I complete her. I would deny her nothing. I have decided.
So now, here she is. By my side, as always.
I know all these things, so I will tell her. How blatantly simple.
Yet, I open my mouth, and... I can't.
I speak of inanities, and taunt her flippantly about the help she now needs from me, her right arm still recovering from the fracture ... of everything, but that which I so desperately want for her to hear.
I ask her to stop gulping down her food and chew it more diligently, so of course she agrees. Mildly, I wonder if she is unable, as am I, to refuse. I can partially fathom the internal storm that she is now experiencing, in face of the recent sequence of events. She is happy to a certain extent, but overall I sense her struggling. The contract marriage is certainly taking a toll on us, and the bitter truth is eating into us, slowly yet steadily. For her, it's even worse, I realise.
I can feel her moving away from me, a little at a time. But she has been gone for so long ... anyway. And my heart aches ...
Come back, Ragini.
There's so much I wanted to say.
There's so much I needed you to hear.
I wanted to tell you how you are my life, my all.
How I think the light in your eyes burns brighter than the sun and a thousand stars.
How I want for you to have all the best the world can give.
How I want you to never feel the sting of pain, or the agony of despair ... anymore
How the prospect of life without you is bleaker than my own worst nightmares.
How you complete me.
How you are my other half.
How you mean the world to me.
How I have known you all my life, because what I had before you, by comparison, is no life.
How I love you.
How I think I'm in love with you.
Come back, Sweetheart...
Ragini ...
...
[THIS IS A MEMBERS ONLY POST]
The Author of this post reserves the right to this story beign posted here. Please do not copy it elsewhere.
Itti Si Khushi Sab TV
