Trust; a five letter word.
It was just like any other day at the clinic. She had just got done with one of her tiny patients. Ishita loved her work, loved the fact that she is working with children, she loved children. It was five minutes past seven and she was almost done with her paperwork when her eyes fell upon a yellow packet. It was odd because she doesn't remember putting it there or her assistant mentioning anything about it. Nevertheless, she decided to open it. It was a CD with her name written on it. She was a bit confused and tried to recall the happenings of today to remember if anyone had given her this CD. Was it Ruhi, did she give her this CD? Was it Adi, was it one of his guitar lessons? She didn't know. Regardless, she decided to have a look at it. She switched on her computer and inserted the CD. At first it was blurry and she couldn't decipher what it was...suddenly, she saw a figure of sorts. There were two people and could recognize one of them instantly. Even if she was blind, she would always be able to recognize him. He was not alone, though. There was someone else with him, someone very close to him, someone she recognized as Shagun, his ex-wife. She couldn't really fathom what she was seeing, she couldn't figure out what this was all about. She tried to ponder if it was a new footage or an old one...one when they were married. But it couldn't be old because they don't look like they were when they were once married. Raman was wearing the same clothes she remembered him wearing a few weeks ago. She was still confused, what were they doing together, in a storage room and why were they so close. Before she could even comprehend what was happening, she felt her self breathing hard.
As the CD played further, it became more and more clear. Raman was sitting on the floor hugging Shagun against his bare chest and he was trying to hug her more into him. At one instant, with no remorse, he held her face, leaned in and kissed her. She couldn't believe her eyes. She instantly clutched the table with so much intensity, making her knuckles pale. She couldn't fathom what was happening, why it was happening and why she had no idea whatsoever about it. She thought maybe it could be fake, it could be photoshopped with technology being so advanced these days but she couldn't even believe herself because it did look so real. Why, why didn't Raman mention this to her?
Without thinking, she switched off her computer, grabbed her car keys and darted towards the door. She didn't realize she was sobbing. She got into her car and sat down for a minute, trying to get her breathing in order but failing to do so as she couldn't stop picturing what she saw, Shagun and Raman, together, in a very intimate position. All she could keep thinking about is why, why did that happen and why he kept it from her. She didn't even want to think about what she was she was thinking about right now, she couldn't even get herself to think about it, about the possibility of Raman cheating on her. Because he couldn't. After what he went through with Shagun, how can he do that? How can he stoop so low to resort to a behavior that once broke him, shattered him and changed his life. How can he indulge in the same behavior and break her, shatter her and change her life. How.
She was uncontrobally crying now. She trusted Raman with all her heart, with every fiber of her being but she couldn't also turn an eye to what she just saw. Trust is one thing but evidence if another. If she listened to her heart, then she would trust him wholeheartedly and would not question him. If she listened to her brain, then she couldn't trust him, how could she, after what she just saw. Hugging herself, she broke down completely crying, trying to comfort herself. She was finding it hard to breathe.
"Raman, Raman, Raman," she kept on murmuring in between her sobs. She wanted to see him but at the same time, he was the last person she wanted to see. She wanted answers but at the same time, she was dreading the answers. She stayed in the car breaking down when finally she sat straight coming up for air, when she was finding it hard to breathe. She decided she needed some alone time, she needed to collect her thoughts, think about what to do, stop herself from taking an impulsive step which would destroy her. She started the engine and drove...where, she didn't know yet.
While she was driving, her phone rang...it was Raman. She silenced it and switched it off. She was in no competency to answer the call, talk to him or anyone. She needed to be alone and needed a sense of tranquility.
She drove for another hour and stopped when she saw the beach. Beach gave a sense of calm. It amazed her how the sea would bind two countries together, just by water...she got out of the car, leaving her sandals behind. She loved the beach. Before she met Raman, when everyday was a battle between survival and death, when everyday it was hard to breathe, she would come here and just stare at the water. She was drained from all the crying that her eyes were dry. She didn't have any tears left in her, just so many questions. But she didn't want to think about any of it. For just a few minutes, she didn't want to be Ishita the daughter, the sister, she wife, the daughter in law or the mother. She just needed to be Ishita the girl, the woman. She wanted to forget about everything and just concentrate on the soothing waves. The beach was isolated which was perfect. She laid her head on the sand and just breathed in and out, smelling the beach air, which was another thing she loved.
She woke up to someone sprinkling water on her face, she tried to open her eyes but they were sore from her crying so she kept them closed. When she felt water being sprinkled on her face again, she opened and saw Raman staring back at her. She sat up straight trying to grasp if this was a dream, or if he was really here. And if he was, then how did he find her? No one knew about her place of solace, she never mentioned it to anyone, so how did he find it?
"Ishita, Ishita!" he shook her, trying to garner her attention. "Ishita, can you hear me." She could but she was too busy trying to figure out how the hell he found her. "Ishita, you're scaring me! What are you doing here? I've been trying to reach you for four hours! Do you know what time it is? It's 11:30 dammit!" Really, has it been that long? She didn't know how her trying to breathe ended up in her sleeping. "Ishita, are you even listening to me? Talk to me, please." She was listening, but talk she didn't want to. She pushed aside his hands that were holding her and stood. Without another word, she got into her car and drove off, leaving Raman behind, shocked and confused, just like she wanted, just like she felt a mere four and a half hours ago because trust was just a five letter word.
The End.
Edited by -Atii- - 10 years ago
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