AsYa SS - Blood On Her Hands #2: Ch 17 B Pg 127 COMPLETED

Over the next week Asad went in everyday to see her but he wouldn't meet her, he would get the feedback he needed from Dr Kadeem and then stand a distance away to see her. Her face was a lot clearer, with almost all the bruises and marks gone, she had started responding to the doctors and nurses who were caring for her.

'Why don't you go and talk to her?' 'Because I need her to come and talk to me' 'she knows you are here' 'I know...it's important that she knows that too' 'you involve yourself so much in all your cases?' Asad let out a chuckle 'yes and no...I guess this one is a little different...I know she killed him as much as everybody else does, but it isn't as simple as that...I need her to tell me why...what makes an aspiring young medical student kill someone with her own two hands...as painful as it is to think of or believe I know my theory is right' 'I think so too...give her a little more time, she has come a long way in just over a week...maybe another week or so' 'thank you Dr Kadeem'.

Dr Kadeem saw her becoming restless, as he continued to talk to her get her to recall everything that had happened that night. Zoya tried to muffle her screams but couldn't, Dr Kadeem stood up and walked towards her making her jump, Zoya stumbled backwards as her entire being was taken over by fear and panic 'No...No' she kept screaming 'Zoya, its ok...please calm down' he tried to reassure her but his words fell on deaf ears.

Zoya ran out the room and into the corridor with Dr Kadeem shouting out after her. Zoya kept on running, as fast as her legs could take her before she went crashing into him. The impact of her body hitting against him made her fall back, Asad quickly put his arms around her tiny waist and pulled her back in towards him. Her erratic heart and uncontrollable sobs started to disorientate her 'please...help me...please tell him to stop...please...' Asad placed his hand over her head and gently stroked her hair 'shhh...its ok...nothing will happen to you Zoya...nothing, its ok' he kept on repeating in a soft soothing voice.

Eventually calming her down, Asad took her by her shoulders and pulled her back gently, her eyes were red with tears escaping down her face 'you are going to be ok...you have to let us help you Zoya...I promise you...I won't let anything happen to you' Zoya slowly shook her head and then took as step back from him 'Dr Kadeem...I will wait for you outside your office' ok...come Zoya, let's get you back' Dr Kadeem said leading her back to her room.

After a few moments Dr Kadeem came to Asad 'Asad, she wants to talk to you' Asad stood up not really believing what he had just heard 'she...she does?' 'Yes, she asked to talk to you...she is outside on the bench'.

Asad hurried his steps towards her, he came outside to see her sitting curled up on the bench, she slowly rocked her body back and forth as she held her knees to her chest. Without saying anything Asad went to sit on the opposite side again, as he did she stopped rocking.

'After I left the library I walked towards my bus stop as I did everyday only this time I wasn't on my own. I knew there was someone behind me, I could hear whispers and girlish giggles...but they weren't giggles, they were evil laughter's. Recognising his voice I stopped and turned around to ask him what he wanted'

Asad's body shook involuntarily as he continued to listen to the horrendous account of what she had to face and undergo.

'I had made up my mind, I killed him, and I know that if I could turn back time I would kill him all over again, I am not sorry for what I have done...he killed me that night, he mercilessly took away everything and laughed in my face, my cries, my pleas...nothing moved him. I have his blood on my hands and no matter how many times I try I will never be able to wash him off of myself. I killed him Mr Khan, and I will happily take the death penalty, I have nothing to live for...not anymore'.

Asad swallowed hard as his throat dried up. Yes, she did kill him but it wasn't with intent, she killed him in an attempt to save herself, in self-defence, and that to him made all the difference.

Hundreds and thousands of young girls become victims or serious sexual violence and crimes associated with sexual abuse every day, not only across India but across the world.

Victims of such callous and inhumane crimes do not always receive justice. In the first instance there are very few having been traumatised will have the courage to step forward and say yes, I have been raped or abused.

There is a perception (one that is very often true) that society, culture, religion, family will misjudge you, instead of being seen as the victim you are painted, tarnished with malicious words, instead of the victim you become the reason for bringing shame upon the family. These fears are further fueled by media coverage of situations where a woman has accused a man of rape, but for a variety of reasons, a conviction doesn't follow.

Like all those hundreds of girls Zoya also sat waiting for a fate she had decided for herself. What Jai had left her with was a poor self-perception, a girl who had been violated, had her human rights taken away from her. Zoya was left with nothing but the marks of that dreadful night, nightmares that haunted her and had started controlling who she was as a person. The anger, the shame, the guilt, the confusion but more than that the isolation she felt had destroyed everything she had inside. Zoya was nothing but an empty shell waiting for the last of her breaths to be taken away.

'I understand why you don't want to let the world know what happened, you think that the power that Avinash Singhania has will create a backlash that will strip you of what you feel you have left of yourself...you are wrong Zoya, you survived an ordeal that no one would wish upon their worst enemy. The fact that you survived, that you raised your hand to protect yourself shows just how strong you are...I am sorry for what happened...and I know that by saying sorry it won't go away...but Zoya you have to fight, let the world know why you did what you did, don't you see what power you possess, your voice, your story will reach out, think about the girls who have locked themselves up because of what has happened to them...it is unfortunate that many take their own lives...Zoya let me help you to help yourself and reach out to all of those young girls who have become victims of such brutality. You believe in Allah, you have imaan, hold on to that and stand up Zoya...let the people here help you face the those nightmares, those demons and the day that you do...a new Zoya will have been created, born to bring justice to herself and to inspire generations to come'

Zoya looked at him with tears trickling down her face, Asad stood up, he walked towards her and knelt down in front of her 'don't cry...wipe those tears away...replace every feeling of guilt, shame and confusion with a new determination...I won't let you fail Zoya' Zoya wiped her tears away and did what she hadn't done in a long time, she smiled, a smile that made her eyes sparkle. Seeing her smile made him smile too 'don't ever lose that Zoya...may Allah bless you with the strength you need...always'.