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Hello Friends ! This is funny story of C.I.D . It was written by me 5 years ago in Tasha & Kajal era. And now I thought let's share it with all of us. It's like a spoof on CID but no offense to anyone. This story is written in Hinglish language. i.e. Narration in English & Dialogues in Hindi but in English letters. So please bare with this. Enjoy !! 😛
. WOMEN IN THE LIFT. SUNIL'S WIFE
SUNI'S WIFE:(SCREAMING) , BACHAO , BACHAO!!!!!!!!!
SUNIL: KYA HUA??
WIFE: DIKHTA NAHI KYA??? LIFT BAND PAD GAYI
SUNIL: ARE, BAPRE!!!!!!!! C.I.D. KO PHONE KARO!!!!!!!!
(C.I.D. APPEARS IN THERE CAR)
A.C.P. PRADYUMN: HAN! KYA HUA????
SUNIL:SIR. LIFT BAND PAD GAYI. WAISE YE KAM TO FIRE BRIGADE KA HAI, LEKIN T.V. DEKHE HAME BHI PATA CHAL GAYA HAI, KI KUCH BHI HO,C.I.D. KO BULAYA JATA HAI & AAPKA NUMBER HAR KISI KE PAS HOTA HAI !
A.C.P. : THIK HAI. DAYA , JAO, USKE BIWI KO CHUDAO.
( DAYA RESCUES HIS WIFE)
A.C.P. (SHAKING HIS FINGER): SACHIN, VIVEK,PURI LIFT CHECK KARO. EK EK KONA CHAN MARO. PATA TO CHALE, YE LIFT ATKI TO ATKI KAISE??
(SACHIN & VIVEK WEARS HANDGLOVES & SCANS WHOLE LIFT)
VIVEK: SIR, YE CHAIR MILI HAI SIR. SHAYAD KHUNI KI HOGI
A.C.P. : KYA BAKWAS KAR RAHE HO? AGAR KHUN HI NAHI HUA TO KHUNI KA KAISE HOGA??
VIVEK: OOPS!! SORRY SIR. HAR EPISODE ME YAHI BOLKE AADAT PAD GAYI HAI. KYA KARE???
FREDDY: SIR, LAGTA HAI YE CHAIR KOI AATMA KA HAI , MERI WIFE BHI YAHI KEHTI HAI.
A.C.P. : FREDRICKS, CHUP RAHO.
A.C.P. ( AGAIN SHAKING HIS FINGER): KAHI AISA TO NAHI , YE KISI KI SAJISH HO , KISI AATANKVADI KI???
WATCHMAN: SIR, SIR , AAPKO KABSE BATANE KI KOSHISH KAR RAHA HUN, KI YE CHAIR LIFTMAN KI HAI. WO ISPAR BAITHTA HAI!!!!!!
ABHIJEET: CHUP! EKDAM CHUP RAHO SAMJHE??? C.I.D. KE KAM MAIN DAKHAL KYUN DI AYEE??? HUM C.I.D. HAIN , HAME SIMPLE CHEEZ BHI COMPLICATED BANANE KI AADAT HAI
A.C.P. : DAYA , LIFT KA DARWAJA TODO AUR POORI LIFT DR. SALUNKHE KE PAS LE CHALO. ABHIJEET TUM BHI USKE SATH JAO. TUMNE BAHUT DINO SE TARIKA KE SATH FLIRT NAHI KIYA. WO KARO.
DAYA: YES SIR
ABHIJEET: HE HE. THANK U SIR. PATA NAHI TARIKAJI KAISI HOGI
A.C.P. : MUJHE TO LAGTA HAI, KI YE KISI BADI AATANKVADI KI SAAJISH HAI. SHAHAR KE SARE LIFT BIGADNE KI.
KAJAL ( SHOWING HER ATTITUDE) : HO SAKTA HAI SIR
A.C.P. ( SHAKING HIS FINGER): SACHIN, TASHA, TUM EK KAM KARO , SHAHAR ME JITNE BHI LIFTS HAI, SAB UTHA LAO. LOGON KO BAHAR NIKALO. SACHIN , TUM WAISE BHI DAYA KI COPY KARTE HO, TO LIFT KA DARWAJA BHI TUM TODOGE.FREDDY, TUMHE KOI KAM NAHI HAI ,TO TUM INKE SATH PURE SHAHAR MAIN GHUMO AUR SABKO WIFE KI BATE BOLKE PAKAO. KAJAL TUM MERE SATH YAHI RUKO AUR BUILDING KE LOGON KO APNA ATTITUDE DIKHAO. MAIN YAHI PE BAITHKE UNGLI HILATA HU.
A.C.P. (SHAKING HIS FINGER) :DEKHTE HAI CASE SOLVE HOTA HAI KYA???
A.C.P. (SHAKING HIS FINGER) :DEKHTE HAI CASE SOLVE HOTA HAI KYA???
( DAYA & ABHIJEET AT DR. SALUNKHE'S LAB.)
(SALUNKHE IS JUST SITTING IDEALLY)
ABHIJEET: ARE DOCTORSAB, KYA HUA CHEHRE KA RANG KYUN UD GAYA?? KYA IS BAR BHI HAME TARIKAJI SE HI PUCHNA PADEGA??
DR. SALUNKHE: BOSS, MAIN SAB KUCH JANTA HU.HAR WAQT MERI INSULT MAT KARO. YE JO CHAIR HAIN , WO CHAIR HAIN HI NAHI!!!!!!!
ABHIJEET: KYA ? YE AAP KYA KEH RAHE HAIN? MAIN A.C.P. SIR KO PHONE KARTA HU.
(AFTER SOME TIME A.C.P. ARRIVES.)
(SALUNKHE IS JUST SITTING IDEALLY)
ABHIJEET: ARE DOCTORSAB, KYA HUA CHEHRE KA RANG KYUN UD GAYA?? KYA IS BAR BHI HAME TARIKAJI SE HI PUCHNA PADEGA??
DR. SALUNKHE: BOSS, MAIN SAB KUCH JANTA HU.HAR WAQT MERI INSULT MAT KARO. YE JO CHAIR HAIN , WO CHAIR HAIN HI NAHI!!!!!!!
ABHIJEET: KYA ? YE AAP KYA KEH RAHE HAIN? MAIN A.C.P. SIR KO PHONE KARTA HU.
(AFTER SOME TIME A.C.P. ARRIVES.)
A.C.P. : HA, SALUKHE, KYA HUA?? YAR, JAB KABHIBHI HUM KOI CASE SOLVE KARTE HAI, TUM APNI TANG BICH ME JARUR ADA DETE HO
TARIKA: (COUGH, COUGH) SIR, DR. SAB NE ABHIJEET SE JHUTH KAHA. YE CHAIR HI HAIN. SIR NE MAJAK KIYA.
A.C.P. : KYA? YAR SALUNKHE, YE KOI MAJAK KA WAQT HAIN? PHIR SE GIRLFRIEND CHOD KI GAYI KYA?
SALUNKHE: ( ANGRILY) EXCUSE ME! GIRLFRIEND MERI HAIN, TUMHE USSE KYA? APNI AUKAT ME RAHO A.C.P. PRADYUMN!!!
A.C.P: HE BHAGWAN !! TU MUJHE UTHA LE!!! UTHA LE!! SALUNKHE, TUM MERA NAM LEKE BAT KAR RAHE HO?
SALUNKHE: TO KYA? TUM KON HOTE HO MERA G.F. KA NAM LEKE MUJHE BOLNE WALE? WO MERA PERSONAL MATTER HAI. A.C.P. HO TO KUCH BHI KAHOGE KYA?? AUR EK BAT, YE FORENSIC LAB HAIN ! KOI MECHANIC KI DUKAN NAHI , JO LIFT AUR CHAIR UTHA LAYE. KYA HUA , TO LIFT BIGAD GAYI ! MAIN ELECTRICIAN HU KYA? ISLIYE MAINE JHUTH KAHA ! SAMJHE??
TARIKA: SIR, YE JO CHAIR HAIN WO MAMULI CHAIR HAI, AUR USME SIRF LIFTMAN KI UNGLIYON KE NISHAN HAI.
ABHIJEET: WA , WA ,TARIKAJI ! MAIN JANTA THA KI AAP HI KUCH KAHENGI! WAISE AAJ AAP BAHUT HI BEAUTIFUL LAG RAHI HAI!
( TARIKA LOOKS AT ABHIJEET FOR A MOMENT & THEN, SLAP!!!!!SLAP!! SHE GIVES 2 SLAPS 2 ABHIJEET)
ABHIJEET( GAL PAKDE HUE): K...KYA..KYA HUA T...TARIKAJI? MUJHSE GALTI HO GAYI KYA?
TARIKA: UMAR DEKHI HAI APNI , KUCH SALO MAIN 50 KE HO JAOGE!! SHARAM NAHI AATI APNI BETI KE UMAR KI LADKI KO CHEDTE HUE?? AGLI BAR AISE KIYA NA, COMPLAINT KAR DUNGI !!!
A.C.P: CHALO ,SAB! US LIFTMAN KO MILTE HAI
( ABHIJEET STILL IN SHOCK)
A.C.P.: CHALO ABHIJEET!! ABHIJEEET SSS
ABHIJEET: YES SIR!! PATA NAHI AB MERI SHADI KAISE HOGI??
TARIKA: (COUGH, COUGH) SIR, DR. SAB NE ABHIJEET SE JHUTH KAHA. YE CHAIR HI HAIN. SIR NE MAJAK KIYA.
A.C.P. : KYA? YAR SALUNKHE, YE KOI MAJAK KA WAQT HAIN? PHIR SE GIRLFRIEND CHOD KI GAYI KYA?
SALUNKHE: ( ANGRILY) EXCUSE ME! GIRLFRIEND MERI HAIN, TUMHE USSE KYA? APNI AUKAT ME RAHO A.C.P. PRADYUMN!!!
A.C.P: HE BHAGWAN !! TU MUJHE UTHA LE!!! UTHA LE!! SALUNKHE, TUM MERA NAM LEKE BAT KAR RAHE HO?
SALUNKHE: TO KYA? TUM KON HOTE HO MERA G.F. KA NAM LEKE MUJHE BOLNE WALE? WO MERA PERSONAL MATTER HAI. A.C.P. HO TO KUCH BHI KAHOGE KYA?? AUR EK BAT, YE FORENSIC LAB HAIN ! KOI MECHANIC KI DUKAN NAHI , JO LIFT AUR CHAIR UTHA LAYE. KYA HUA , TO LIFT BIGAD GAYI ! MAIN ELECTRICIAN HU KYA? ISLIYE MAINE JHUTH KAHA ! SAMJHE??
TARIKA: SIR, YE JO CHAIR HAIN WO MAMULI CHAIR HAI, AUR USME SIRF LIFTMAN KI UNGLIYON KE NISHAN HAI.
ABHIJEET: WA , WA ,TARIKAJI ! MAIN JANTA THA KI AAP HI KUCH KAHENGI! WAISE AAJ AAP BAHUT HI BEAUTIFUL LAG RAHI HAI!
( TARIKA LOOKS AT ABHIJEET FOR A MOMENT & THEN, SLAP!!!!!SLAP!! SHE GIVES 2 SLAPS 2 ABHIJEET)
ABHIJEET( GAL PAKDE HUE): K...KYA..KYA HUA T...TARIKAJI? MUJHSE GALTI HO GAYI KYA?
TARIKA: UMAR DEKHI HAI APNI , KUCH SALO MAIN 50 KE HO JAOGE!! SHARAM NAHI AATI APNI BETI KE UMAR KI LADKI KO CHEDTE HUE?? AGLI BAR AISE KIYA NA, COMPLAINT KAR DUNGI !!!
A.C.P: CHALO ,SAB! US LIFTMAN KO MILTE HAI
( ABHIJEET STILL IN SHOCK)
A.C.P.: CHALO ABHIJEET!! ABHIJEEET SSS
ABHIJEET: YES SIR!! PATA NAHI AB MERI SHADI KAISE HOGI??
FINALLY C.I.D. REACHES AT LIFT MAN'S HOUSE. THE DOOR IS CLOSED. AS USUAL!
SACHIN: FREDDY, TUMHE KYA LAGTA HAI , KYA HUA HOGA?
( FREDDY BEGAN 2 CRY)
DAYA : ARE, FREDDY KYA HUA?
FREDDY: SOB, SOB!!! SIR, MAIN 1998 SE C.I.D. MAIN HU, YE LADKA KAL HI AYA AUR MUJHE NAM LEKE BULATA HAI & MUJHE USKO SIR BULANA PADTA HAI.
A.C.P: FREDRICS, CHUP RAHO. AUR DAYA DARWAJA TOD DO!!!!
( DAYA BREAKS THE DOOR.)
A.C.P. : ARE, YE KYA? GHAR ME EK BHI LASH NAHI?
ABHIJEET: SIR , AAJ TO SABKUCH ULTA HI HO RAHA HAI. KYA KARE?
TASHA: SIR , WO DEKHIYE, WO LIFTMAN BHAG RAHA HAI.
DAYA: E RUK!!!!!!!!!!
( STILL HE RUNS)
DAYA: SIR, MAINE RUK BOLA , AUR USNE HAMESHA KI TARAH SPEED SLOW NAHI KIYA.
ABHIJEET: MAINE KAHA NA DAYA, AAJ SAB ULTA HO RAHA HAIN! TARIKAJI... AAP NE MERA DIL TOD DIYA.
A.C.P. : ABHIJEET CHUP RAHO . AUR JAO SAB USKO PAKDO.
VIVEK: SORRY SIR, LEKIN AAP KYA KAROGE??
A.C.P: YE BHI NAHI PATA? LAST ME DIALOG TO MUJHE HI MARNA HAI !!! AB JAO!!!!
( AFTER SOME REALLY HARD WORK, C.I.D. FINALLY CATCHES LIFTMAN)
DAYA: BAHUT BHAG LIYE!!!!!! AA???????????????
( AND GAVE HIM HIS SPECIAL PUNCH!!!!)
SACHIN: FREDDY, TUMHE KYA LAGTA HAI , KYA HUA HOGA?
( FREDDY BEGAN 2 CRY)
DAYA : ARE, FREDDY KYA HUA?
FREDDY: SOB, SOB!!! SIR, MAIN 1998 SE C.I.D. MAIN HU, YE LADKA KAL HI AYA AUR MUJHE NAM LEKE BULATA HAI & MUJHE USKO SIR BULANA PADTA HAI.
A.C.P: FREDRICS, CHUP RAHO. AUR DAYA DARWAJA TOD DO!!!!
( DAYA BREAKS THE DOOR.)
A.C.P. : ARE, YE KYA? GHAR ME EK BHI LASH NAHI?
ABHIJEET: SIR , AAJ TO SABKUCH ULTA HI HO RAHA HAI. KYA KARE?
TASHA: SIR , WO DEKHIYE, WO LIFTMAN BHAG RAHA HAI.
DAYA: E RUK!!!!!!!!!!
( STILL HE RUNS)
DAYA: SIR, MAINE RUK BOLA , AUR USNE HAMESHA KI TARAH SPEED SLOW NAHI KIYA.
ABHIJEET: MAINE KAHA NA DAYA, AAJ SAB ULTA HO RAHA HAIN! TARIKAJI... AAP NE MERA DIL TOD DIYA.
A.C.P. : ABHIJEET CHUP RAHO . AUR JAO SAB USKO PAKDO.
VIVEK: SORRY SIR, LEKIN AAP KYA KAROGE??
A.C.P: YE BHI NAHI PATA? LAST ME DIALOG TO MUJHE HI MARNA HAI !!! AB JAO!!!!
( AFTER SOME REALLY HARD WORK, C.I.D. FINALLY CATCHES LIFTMAN)
DAYA: BAHUT BHAG LIYE!!!!!! AA???????????????
( AND GAVE HIM HIS SPECIAL PUNCH!!!!)
( CUT 2 C.I.D. BUERO)
A.C.P( IN HIS SPECIAL LOUD VOICE): AB BATAO, KYUN KIYA TUMNE YE SAB???
LIFTMAN: SIR, MAIN ROJ C.I.D. DEKHTA HU. LEKIN DHIRE DHIRE MUJHE PATA LAGNE LAGA KI , AAP LOG BRAIN USE HI NAHI KARTE!!!!!!!!! HAR JAGAH C.I.D. , AUR AAPKA NUMBER HAR AADMI KO MILTA HAIN. POLICE HAI HI NAHI. AB AAJ KA HI DEKHIYE, LIFT BAND PAD GAYI AUR AAPKO BULAYA. AAPNE ITNI SI CHOTI SI CHEEZ KO, AATANKVADI KI CHALL BANA DIYA.ISLIYE YE MAIN DIKHANA CHAHTA THA KI KUCH CHEEZE SIMPLE BHI HOTI HAI.AUR AAP JO BHI KUCH HO, FORENSIC LAB MAIN BHEJ DETE HO, EK CHAIR AUR LIFT BHI! AAPKA OFFICER TARIKA PE LINE MARTA HAI, WO BHI ON DUTY! KUA YE SUCH ME POSSIBLE HAIN? ISLIYE MAINE LIFT BAND KARVAYI , TARIKA AUR ABHIJEET MAIN JHAGADA LAGAYA. MAIN YE BADALNA CHAHTA THA.
A.C.P. : SHRAM NAHI AATI TUMHE?? C.I.D. KO BADALNA CHAHTE THE!! WA!! AB JAIL ME ROJ APNE AAPKO BADLTE RAHNA!!!!!! PHANSI KA ORDER AANE TAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Kulasya Joshi
-kulasya@gmail.com
A.C.P( IN HIS SPECIAL LOUD VOICE): AB BATAO, KYUN KIYA TUMNE YE SAB???
LIFTMAN: SIR, MAIN ROJ C.I.D. DEKHTA HU. LEKIN DHIRE DHIRE MUJHE PATA LAGNE LAGA KI , AAP LOG BRAIN USE HI NAHI KARTE!!!!!!!!! HAR JAGAH C.I.D. , AUR AAPKA NUMBER HAR AADMI KO MILTA HAIN. POLICE HAI HI NAHI. AB AAJ KA HI DEKHIYE, LIFT BAND PAD GAYI AUR AAPKO BULAYA. AAPNE ITNI SI CHOTI SI CHEEZ KO, AATANKVADI KI CHALL BANA DIYA.ISLIYE YE MAIN DIKHANA CHAHTA THA KI KUCH CHEEZE SIMPLE BHI HOTI HAI.AUR AAP JO BHI KUCH HO, FORENSIC LAB MAIN BHEJ DETE HO, EK CHAIR AUR LIFT BHI! AAPKA OFFICER TARIKA PE LINE MARTA HAI, WO BHI ON DUTY! KUA YE SUCH ME POSSIBLE HAIN? ISLIYE MAINE LIFT BAND KARVAYI , TARIKA AUR ABHIJEET MAIN JHAGADA LAGAYA. MAIN YE BADALNA CHAHTA THA.
A.C.P. : SHRAM NAHI AATI TUMHE?? C.I.D. KO BADALNA CHAHTE THE!! WA!! AB JAIL ME ROJ APNE AAPKO BADLTE RAHNA!!!!!! PHANSI KA ORDER AANE TAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Kulasya Joshi
-kulasya@gmail.com
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