Dekhiye aapki laadli ne aaj kya kiya, he read a message from her on his watsapp and then scrolled down the screen to adore a miracle.
(Look what your beloved did today, he read a message from her on his watsapp and then scrolled down the screen to adore a miracle.)
Yes she was no less than a miracle, a cute figure with a broad forehead like her mother, huge eyes round and deep same as her father's, milky complexion similar to both of them, a sharp nose resembling her brother and a mischievous but pure smile exactly like her sister. She lied on her stomach with her hips a little elevated and hands trying to reach a rattle ahead.
Mannat, he said happily and shook his neck astonished.
One and half years back who would have thought that this day was there in their destiny but yes it was and now they were able to see this and it was all real. A tough almost like impossible but beautiful dream come true, it was.
He could not stop himself from revisiting that day when everything had ended for them, all hopes shattered, all dreams broken and all happiness taken away.
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One and half year back...!!!
He entered the room to see her crying inconsolably but why wouldn't she. He had not healed her wounds but settled them temporarily at the cafe with so many difficulties but as soon as they came back home, all her wounds were again unsettled by his mother though unintentionally.
The mere mention of the baby created havoc inside her and she could not hold back her tears for a second. She sat there on the sofa and cried, broken from inside.
Ishita, he came near her and said while putting his palm on her shoulder.
Raman, she said and howled badly hugging him tight.
Raman: Bas Ishita shant ho jao please...abhi kuch der pehle hi humne baat ki thi na aur abhi tum wapis aise ro rahi ho...meri Ishita itni weak nahi hai
(Enough Ishita calm down please...we talked a while ago right and you are crying again now...my Ishita is not so weak)
Ishita: Humne baat ki thi Raman aur aapne mujhe samjhaya bhi tha par aapne mujhe yeh nahi sikhaya ki main sabki umeeden kaise todun...aapne dekha na Mummy ji kaise aas lagaye baithi hain ki main unhe ek khushkhabri dungi...kis muh se main unhe yeh dukh bhari khabar dun...aur meri Ruhi...us nanhi si jaan ka kya kasoor hai Raman...woh bachi din raat duaa kar rahi hai...use yakeen hai ki uski IshiMaa uske liye ek bhai behen leke aayengi...kaise uske saamne jaun aur bataun ki uski IshiMaa use dukh ke alawa kuch nahi laake dengi...kaise main uske sapne todun Raman...is ghar ke har ek insaan ki nazar mujhpe tiki hai ki kab main is ghar mein khushiyaan bhar dun par main is ghar mein udaasi ke alawa kuch nahi bhar sakti
(I know Raman we talked and you explained me but you didn't teach me how to break everybody's hopes...did you see how eagerly Mummy Ji is waiting to hear a good news from me...how do I tell her this news...and my Ruhi...what is her fault Raman...that child is praying day and night...she believes that her IshiMaa will bring a sibling for her...how do I tell her that her IshiMaa will not bring her anything else than pain...how do I break her dreams Raman...each member in this house has expectations from me...they think I will fill this house with happiness but I cannot fill anything here except sadness)
Ishita, before he could speak anything further to comfort her, another storm was awaiting for him.
There stood Ruhi, all shocked and destroyed. Her little ears could not believe what they heard. Tears flowed down her cheeks as soon as those words reached her mind and she chose to run from there before her parents gave her an explanation.
He was torn between his sobbing wife and an equally hurt daughter and he just didn't know whom he had to handle first. But she was always his rescuer even in that lost state.
Raman aap jaiye aur humari beti ko sambhaliye main thik hoon, she told him holding his hand.
(Raman you go and handle our daughter I am fine, she told him holding his hand.)
Are you sure, he asked trying to convince himself.
Please jaiye Raman, she said and with that he left.
(Please go Raman, she said and with that he left.)
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He came back after half an hour or so and to find her curled up on the sofa. She was staring the ceiling blankly probably sleeping with opens eyes. Tears had dried in her eyes leaving scars on her cheeks.
Ishita, he said slowly walking towards her.
She got up and sat on the sofa on hearing his voice and wiped her face with her saree trying to show how fine she was.
Ishita: Raman Ruhi thik hai na...bahut jyada gussa hai kya...mujhse baat nahi karna chah rahi hogi na...bahut ro rahi thi kya...woh mujhe maaf kar degi na Raman...kuch din gussa rehke phir mujhse baat karegi na...bolo na please
(Raman Ruhi is fine right...is she very angry...she might be wanting not to talk to me...was she crying heavily...will she be able to forgive me...will she talk to me after being angry for few days...speak up please)
Raman: Tum mujhe bolne dogi tab bolunga na...Ruhi is fine don't worry
(I will only speak when you let me do so...Ruhi is fine don't worry)
Ishita: Bahut ro rahi thi
(Was she crying too much)
Raman: Haan
(Yes)
Ishita: Naaraaz hogi na mujhse
(She must be upset with me)
Raman: Naaraaz toh hai par
(She is upset but)
Ishita: Par kya Raman...tell me please
(But what Raman...tell me please)
--------------------------------------------------
She sat on the floor outside the flat whimpering with her legs crossed and her head hidden in her own lap just like her mother had cried there the last night.
Ruhi beta, he said going close to her.
She got up and started to run on hearing him but he held her hand and pulled her back.
Papa ki baat nahi sunogi Ruhi, he said softly which was more like plead from a helpless father who could not do much to cheer up his upset daughter.
(Will you not listen to your father Ruhi, he said softly which was more like plead from a helpless father who could not do much to cheer up his upset daughter.)
Bolo, she said wiping off her tears with one hand that was free.
(Tell me, she said wiping off her tears with one hand that was free.)
Idhar aao, he said sitting on the floor and making Ruhi sit on his lap.
(Come here, he said sitting on the floor and making Ruhi sit on his lap.)
Raman: Ruhi papa is sorry beta
Ruhi: No I am sorry Papa
Raman: Ruh
Ruhi: Sab meri galti hai Papa...maine hi IshiMaa ko zid ki baby ke liye...pehle toh mujhe pata tha na ki IshiMaa baby nahi laa sakti phir maine Vandu Periamma ki baat suni aur aisi zid ki...dekho na IshiMaa toh abhi kitna dukhi ho gayi...sab meri galti hai
(It is all my fault Papa...I insisted IshiMaa for a baby...first I knew that IshiMaa cannot bring a baby but when I heard Vandu Aunty then I forced IshiMaa...see how upset IshiMaa is now...it is my fault entirely)
Raman: Nahi beta aapki koi galti nahi hai
(No dear it is not your fault)
Ruhi: Papa IshiMaa rona band kar dengi na...maine unhe aise nahi dekh sakti
(Papa IshiMaa will stop crying right...i cannot see her like this)
Raman: Haan beta IshiMaa zarur rona band kar dengi
(Yes dear IshiMaa will surely stop crying)
Ruhi: Par phir bhi maine galti toh ki hai na...IshiMaa ko kitna hurt hua hoga...na main unhe woh stupid doctor uncle ke paas bhejti na woh aise roti...Papa aapne IshiMaa ki eyes dekhi thi...ek dum red red ho gayi thi ro roke
(But still I made a mistake...IshiMaa might have been so hurt...neither I would have told her to go to that doctor nor she would have cried like this...Papa did you see IshiMaa's eyes...they have become totally red because of crying)
Raman: Ruhi aap toh IshiMaa ko happy karna chahte the na beta...ho jaata hai kai baar aise...ab aap tension mat lo...IshiMaa will be fine soon
(Ruhi you just wanted to make IshiMaa happy...it happens sometimes...now you don't worry...IshiMaa will be fine soon)
Ruhi: Na papa...ab jab tak IshiMaa rona band nahi karengi aur happy nahi ho jayengi main unke paas nahi jaungi...yahi meri punishment hai
(No Papa...now until IshiMaa will stop crying and be happy again I will not go to her...this is my punishment)
Aise nahi kehte Ruhi...suno toh, before he could even complete his sentence, she was gone.
(Don't say like this Ruhi...listen to me, before he could even complete his sentence, she was gone.)
So alike the mother daughter duo was, who never let him complete his words, he thought and moved back to his room.
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She heard him patiently and cried again but this time tears of little happiness as well. She felt the luckiest to have an angel in her life.
Kaisi hai na meri bachi...khud ke saare sapne jo usne in kuch dino mein bune the toot gaye par mere liye pareshan hai...uske is pyaar ko main kaise lauta paungi Raman, she said smiling while still weeping.
(How my daughter is...all her dreams that she had woven in past few days broke but she is worried for me...how will I return her love Raman, she said smiling while still weeping.)
Humesha khush rehke, he replied while wiping off her tears.
(By staying happy forever, he replied while wiping off her tears.)
Toh chalen humari ruthi beti ko hasane, she asked forwarding her hand to him.
(Then shall we go to make coax our upset daughter, she asked forwarding her hand to him.)
He grabbed her hand and both made their way to Ruhi's room.
---------------------------------------
They came to her room and saw her lying on her stomach, her head hidden in her pink pillow and her legs falling down the bed. Her heart sank immediately seeing her daughter in that state. This is not what she wanted for her daughter but it was all reversed against her wishes.
Tum bhi aise hi roti ho...maa beti ek jaise ho bilkul, he said trying to keep her mood light.
(Even you cry like this...you mother daughter are just the same, he said trying to keep her mood light.)
Ruhi, she said lovingly while moving inside ignoring his comment.
Hearing her IshiMaa's voice she picked up another pillow and kept it above her head trying hard to not face her mother.
But she didn't come to go without coaxing her daughter.
Mera Ruh bacha mujhse baat nahi karega, Ishita said while rubbing her hand over head daughter's back.
(Will my Ruh baby not talk to me, Ishita said while rubbing her hand over head daughter's back.)
IshiMaa I am a bad girl...abhi aap jao yahan se, Ruhi replied.
(IshiMaa I am a bad girl...you go from here, Ruhi replied.)
Meri Ruhi aur bad girl...aisa toh ho hi nahi sakta, Ishita said trying to remove the pillow off Ruhi's head.
(My Ruhi and a bad girl...this cannot be possible, Ishita said trying to remove the pillow off Ruhi's head.)
IshiMaa please, Ruhi requested keeping her hand tightly on the pillow not letting her mother to take off that pillow.
She was visibly upset and it was justified to all extents. She had already told all her friends that her IshiMaa was getting her a baby and now when that was not happening, it was heartbreaking. But she could not show that sadness to her already upset mother and that is why she didn't want to face her. If she did, her IshiMaa would recognize her pain in seconds.
What a relation it was where both of them wanted to hide their anguish from each other and for each other.
Seeing nothing work, Ishita left from there to her room. That was surprising but Raman knew, his wife wasn't giving it up so easily.
And so right he was; there she was coming back wearing a Jerry mask on her face and a jerry teddy in her hand.
She entered the room with soundless steps and sang slowly.
Gudiya Humse Ruthi Rahogi
Kab Tak Na Hasogi
(Baby till when will you stay angry from me and not laugh)
Ruhi peeped out from pillows to see her mother with that jerry face which was her favorite cartoon character. She wanted to get up immediately and hug her IshiMaa but kids are meant to be pampered and she wanted a little more pampering.
She smiled a little, as little that nobody could see she thought but her IshiMaa saw it already.
Dekho Ji Kiran Si Lehraayi
Aayi Re Aayi Re Hasi Aayi
(Look there came a little brightness and smile appeared)
Seeing her daughter giving up already, she went close and tickled her daughter.
If she was smart, her daughter was smarter. Ruhi; who wanted to play with her mother a little longer, got up and made her way to the sofa.
Bilkul apne papa jaisi nakhrili hai, she thought and followed Ruhi walking on her knees like little babies.
(She is just like her father, throwing tantrums every now and then, she thought and followed Ruhi walking on her knees like little babies.)
Ruhi could not stop herself from smiling on seeing this which surely didn't go unnoticed by Ishita.
Abhi Abhi Aankhon Se Chalke
Abhi Kuch Kuch Hothon Pe Jhalke
Tumhari Hasi
Kuch Kuch Hothon Pe Jhalke
(Just now your smile started from your eyes and reached your lips. It is slightly evident on your lips now)
And to hide her smile, Ruhi covered her face with her palms.
Ishita moved close to her and pulled her daughter's cheeks.
Phir Bhi Mukh Pe Haath Dharogi
(You will cover your face)
Kab Tak Na Hasogi
(And still not laugh)
Dekho Ji Kiran Si Lehraayi
Aayi Re Aayi Re Hasi Aayi
(Look there came a little brightness and smile appeared)
Not having it anymore in her to control, she hugged her IshiMaa tight happily. Tears welled up in both of their eyes and they just hugged like no tomorrow.
Raman who was silently witnessing all this could not thank god enough for having sent these two angels in his life. So pure and so unique they were two souls and one life in all means.
Ruhi: I am sorry IshiMaa maine aapko bahut hurt kiya
(I am sorry IshiMaa I hurt you a lot)
Ishita: No bittu...I am sorry...maine aapko kitna hurt kiya...aapne pehli baar mujhse kuch maanga aur main de bhi nahi paa rahi
(No dear...I am sorry...I have hurt you...you asked me for something for the first time and I am unable to give)
Ruhi: No IshiMaa...maine galat cheez maangi
(No IshiMaa...i asked for something wrong)
Ishita: Nahi Ruhi tumne toh kuch aisa maanga jispe tumhara haq tha...woh toh meri phooti kismat hai ki main apni bachi ki ichcha puri nahi kar sakti
(No Ruhi...you had asked for something on which you had a right...it is my bad luck that I cannot fulfill my daughter's wish)
Ruhi: IshiMaa aapko ek secret bolun
(IshiMaa shall I tell you a secret)
Ishita: Hmm
Ruhi: Acha hua baby nahi aayega...aata toh mera time kam ho jaata na aapke saath
(It is good that baby is not coming...if the baby came, my time with you would have reduced)
Raman and Ishita both knew their daughter didn't mean any of the words she spoke but they could not just stop themselves from adoring their daughter's innocent maturity.
How sensible and warm she was that she was ready to lie to her mother to make her happy.
I am sorry Ruhi, she said and cried even more hugging her tighter.
IshiMaa please aap mat royo na...main hoon na aapki baby, Ruhi said coming out of the hug and wiping her mother's tears with her little hands.
(IshiMaa please don't cry...I am your baby, Ruhi said coming out of the hug and wiping her mother's tears with her little hands.)
Ishita nodded in yes still crying.
Aur main bhi toh aapka baby hoon, he said coming from behind and hugging her.
(And even I am your baby, he said coming from behind and hugging her.)
Adi, she looked at him and smiled.
Aur main bhi Chitti aur yeh dono bhi, Shravu came in bringing the double tram along in which Rohit and Shitija slept peacefully.
(And me too aunty and even these two, Shravu came in bringing the double tram along in which Rohit and Shitija slept peacefully.)
She hugged them all together and cried with smiling face.
Dekha tum ek bache ke liye ro rahi thi aur tumhare itne saare bache ikathe ho gaye, he said coming in.
(See you were crying for one baby and so many babies of you have gathered around you, he said coming in.)
Aur yeh kam pad jaaye toh main toh hoon hi...tumhara sabse bada bacha, he said embracing them all in the hug.
(And if these are less then I am always there...your eldest baby, he said embracing them all in the hug.)
---------------------------------------------
Few days later on a silent night when they both were lying in each other's arms still trying to cope up with the pain life had given them, her mind told her something which she thought of venting out.
Ishita: Raman aapse kuch puchun
(Raman shall I ask something)
Raman: Bolo na jaan
(Ask me love)
Ishita: Aap mujhse kitna pyaar karte ho
(How much do you love me)
Raman: Is that a question to ask...don't you know
Ishita: Mere liye kuch bhi kar sakte ho
(Can you do anything for me)
Raman: Ishita kya ho gaya tumhe...kyun aisi baatein kar rahi ho
(Ishita what happened to you...why are you talking like this)
Ishita: Aap bolo na...kya aap mere liye kuch bhi kar sakte ho
(You tell me...can you do anything for me)
Raman: Haan Ishita main tumhare liye kuch bhi kar sakta hoon
(Yes Ishita I can do anything for you)
Ishita: Aap mere liye mujhe kho sakte ho
(Can you lose me for me)
Raman: Ishita
Ishita: Raman aap nahi jaante...us dard ke saath jeena aasan tha ki main maa nahi ban sakti par ab is dard ke saath jeena namumkin hai ki main maa banke bhi maa nahi ban sakti...pehle bhagwan ne mujhe maa banne layak nahi banaya tha aur jab banaya toh bhi ek kami chod di
(Raman you don't know...it was easy to live with the pain of not having the capability of becoming a mother but it is now impossible to live with the pain that I cannot be a mother despite the fact that I can conceive...first god didn't make me capable to be a mother and now when he did, he left a shortcoming)
Raman: Ishita main samajh sakta hoon tum pareshan ho par kya kar sakte hain
(Ishita I can understand that you are tensed but what can we do)
Ishita: Kar sakte hain Raman...main karna chahti hoon...Ruhi ke liye...aapke liye aur sabse jyada khud ke liye
(We can do Raman...i want to do...for Ruhi...for you and most of all for my own self)
Raman: No Ishita you cannot do this...you cannot risk your life
Ishita: I want to do this Raman...ek Dr. Manoj ne mana kiya hai abhi par hum dusre doctor ke paas jayenge...duniya mein jitne doctor hain sabke paas jayenge...koi toh raasta hoga Raman...bhagwan meri nanhi si Ruhi pe daya zarur karenge...please Raman help me
(I want to do this Raman...Dr. Manoj has refused but we will go to another doctor...we will go to all the doctors of this world...there must be a way Raman...god will be kind to my little Ruhi...please help me Raman)
Raman: Ishita kya bolun main tumhe...tumhe khud nahi pata tum kya bol rahi ho
(Ishita what do I tell you...you yourself don't know what you are saying)
Ishita: Mujhe ache se pata hai Raman main kya keh rahi hoon...main ek baby chahti hoon aur aapko mujhe yeh dena hi hoga...yeh mera haq hai Raman aur mujhse mera haq koi nahi le sakta...aap bhi nahi
(I very well know what I am saying Raman...i want a baby and you will have to give it to me...this is my right Raman and nobody can take it from me...not even you)
Raman: Agar tumhari yahi zid hai toh tum bhi sunlo...yeh main kabhi nahi karunga...aaj nahi kal nahi kabhi nahi
(If this is your decision then you listen to me as well...I will never do this...not today not tomorrow never ever)
Hatiye, she said angrily loud enough to shock him.
(Move away, she said angrily loud enough to shock him.)
Ishita, he said confused at the sudden change of tone in her voice.
Hatiye, she said again and jerked off his hand forcibly which was on her. She got up and made her way on the sofa.
(Move away, she said again and jerked off his hand forcibly which was on her. She got up and made her way on the sofa.)
Agar aap mujhe mera haq nahi de sakte toh aapko mujhe chune ka bhi koi haq nahi...kabhi mere paas mat aaiyega, she said angrily and lied down on the sofa.
(If you cannot give me my rights then you have no right to touch me...don't ever come close to me, she said angrily and lied down on the sofa.)
With that she left him alone. She gave herself to sleep or atleast acted to do so but he lost his sleep. He wasn't worried for the fact that he would have no physical relation with his wife in future but for the distance that would arise in their hearts. By depriving him of his rights, she was not punishing him but herself. The whole thing was eating her up from inside like a pest and he could do nothing.
Either ways it was his loss and he just didn't know if he had any option left than to listen to her. She was stubborn and this was not stopping here, he knew. But before she took any other drastic step, he had to control her.
With a heavy heart filled with so many fears, he went to the sofa, picked her up in his arms and brought her back to the bed.
Mujhe nahi pata main kya kar raha hoon...kuch pata hai toh bas itna ki main tumse dur nahi reh sakta...tann se bhi nahi mann se bhi nahi...jaisa tum chahti ho main waisa hi karunga bas ek baat ka dhyaan rakhna tum...is sab mein agar tumhe kuch hua toh main, Ruhi, Adi aur humara pura parivaar...koi bhi tumhe maaf karega, he said coldly.
(I don't know what I am doing...I just know that I cannot stay away from you...nor by body neither by heart...i will do what exactly the way you want...but you remember one thing...if anything happens to you in all this then Me, Ruhi, Adi and our whole family...nobody will forgive you, he said coldly.)
Kuch nahi hoga...humari duaa puri hogi, she said and hugged him happily.
(Nothing will happen...our prayer will be answered, she said and hugged him happily.)
------------------------------
About two months later, she stood there numb holding a positive pregnancy test in her hand. And as soon as he got to know about it, he forgot all his fears for few seconds and hugged her with all the love.
Yes he was cold with her each day and night after that one night but today it was all gone now. She tried to show it as a selfish move but it was for all of them after all and he could not be rude to her any longer. She did nothing to earn this and he had realized it now. So instead of brooding, he chose to fight for her.
The best gynecologist of the country was selected for her and they were both ready to fight this war with a hope to get the victory in the end.
As prescribed by the doctor she was confined to a complete bed rest with no movement at all expect the necessary ones. One full time nurse was hired for her to keep a check on everything. Atleast one family member was with her all the time when Raman was out for work even though he had limited most of his work to home. He would not leave her for a minute until impossible to avoid. She herself didn't do a single carelessness which could ruin her case. And so the days were passing by, not too smoothly but finely.
And thanks to the immense progress of our medical science, there were hopes.
There wasn't any denying to the fact that she was weak to carry a baby and it was all risky but yet not impossible. Doctor had suggested an induced labor followed by a cesarean on completion of 28 weeks and assured them that she would make it successfully till 28 weeks.
The only concern now left was the growth of the baby. There were chances that baby didn't grew enough in these 28 weeks to survive in this world but everything was nothing but a hope.
Please baby tum bahut sambhalke bahaar aana...sab tumhara palken bichaye intezaar kar rahe hain...mere liye na sahi apne papa ke liye na sahi par apni Ruhi didi ke liye please ache se bahaar aana, was the only plea she chanted the whole day and night.
(Please baby you come out very carefully...everyone is waiting for you eagerly...if not for me, if not for your father, come out well for your Ruhi Didi, was the only plea she chanted the whole day and night.)
And not only she, each family member and even the distant relatives sent the same prayer to god million times in a day.
------------------------------------------------
God too wasn't that stone hearted that he could ignore so many pleads. He might have the heart to refuse adults but no power to break the hopes of a child.
A magical wonder happened and a healthy baby was born in 29th week of her pregnancy. Both the mother and the newly born were weak but strong enough to survive.
She was a fruit of endless prayers, infinite wishes and a painful battle. But it was won and she was priceless.
Yeh laakhon mannaton ke baad aayi hai islie iska naam hoga Mannat, Ruhi had happily said when the baby had come back home after spending about a fortnight in the incubator at the hospital.
(She has come to us after so many prayers (Mannat) so her name will be Mannat, Ruhi had happily said when the baby had come back home after spending about a fortnight in the incubator at the hospital.)
Puri Hui Duaa, everyone said together and named the baby as Mannat.
(Prayer answered, everyone said together and named the baby as Mannat.)
-------------------------------------
His trance broke with his ringing phone and the caller's name made him smile even broader.
Ishita: Kaisi lagi photo
(How did you find the photo)
Raman: Cannot tell in words
Ishita: Mannat, Ruhi and Adi...teeno aapko miss kar rahe hain papa...kab tak aayenge aap ghar
(Mannat, Ruhi and Adi...all three are missing you Papa...by when will you be home)
Raman: Sirf Mannat, Ruhi aur Adi...un teeno ki mumma nahi
(Only Mannat, Ruhi and Adi...not the trio's mother)
Ishita: Nahi
(No)
Raman: Phir toh jaldi ghar aana padega aur mumma ko ek lesson sikhana padega
(In that case I will have to come home early and teach mumma a lesson)
Ishita: Kaisa lesson
(What lesson)
Raman: Papa ko miss karne ka lesson...Make Mannat sleep with Maa today
(Lesson of missing Papa...Make Mannat sleep with Mummy (Toshi Ji) today)
Ishita: Raman aap bhi na
(Raman you are just)
Raman: Aa raha hoon thodi der mein...be ready
(Coming in sometime...be ready)
Ishita: Hehehe I am waiting
Raman: I love you
I love you too, she said and ended the call.
He drooled at his wallpaper of the phone which had the pic of 5 of them before locking his phone and left for the house happily.
Puri Hui Duaa...!!!
Prayer answered...!!!
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