Chapter 2a
Patel House
Ragini is making the dinner, the only meal that she cooks throughout the day.
The front door opens and Arav returns from his friend's house. He walks in the kitchen,
"Ma, khusbu tou bahut acchi arahi hai. Kya bana rahe ho aap?"
"Malai kofta aur dhokla." Ragini replies garnishing the dhokla with coriander.
"Wow! " Arav rubs his palms together.
"Haath mat lagana abhi tu!" She warns him in advance.
Arav steps aside and then talks about his new college and how he is excited. Ragini is happy to see his excitement.
She sets the dinner table after she has cooked and calls everyone.
Nishi's phone rings as they begin the dinner.
"Nishi ! Meine tujhe kitni baar bola hai khaane ke samay no phone calls !" Ragini stops eating when Nishi doesn't listen to her and goes inside to take the call.
When she comes back, Ragini asks "Kis ka phone tha? Jignesh?"
Nishi doesn't answer.
"Sara din tum dono saath hote ho. Kam se kam khaane ke samay tou ek dusre ko chod diya karo." She scolds Nishi and resumes eating.
"Ma.." Nishi calls her.
"Hmm..kya hua ab? Khana kyun nai kha rahi tu?"
"Ma ! I want to marry Jignesh." She finally says it.
Ragini looks at her in surprise, "Nishi, ye tu kya kehrahi hai." Ragini couldn't believe what her daughter just said. "Dekh is waqt mein mazaak ke mood mein nai hoon."
"Ma, mein mazaak nahin kar rahi. You know I love Jignesh." She says getting up from her seat and moves towards Ragini's chair. "Uske parents uske peeche pade hain shaadi ke liye. Aggar humari shaadi ek saal mein nahin hui na tou wo uski shaadi kisi aur se kara dainge."
"Nishi ! Tu kya keh rahi hai yeh! Tera dimag tou theek hai." Ragini gets up from her chair and confronts Nishi. "19 saal ki hai tu sirf. Aur tujhe shaadi karni hai abhi! I can't believe it"
"Ma please! Aap maan jaiye na..I really love Jignesh. I can't live without him." Nishi pleads.
"Yeh pyaar wyaar kuch nahi hota, Nishi! Dubara mujhse shaadi ki baat mat karna jab tak teri studies finish nahin hojati. Umar dekh apni aur shaadi karni hai." Ragini says in a louder voice. "19 saal ki hai tu, aur abhi tera sirf second year hai medical ka."
"Ma, aap ne bhi to 19 saal ki umar mein shaadi kari thi !" Nishi cries out.
"Haan, islie mein nahi chahti ke tu wohi mistake kar jo meine kari. 19 saal ki umer mein shaadi aur 20 mein bacha. Teri studies ka kya hoga??"
Nishi tries hard to convince her that Jignesh is twenty one years old and in their family they get married at an early age. Ragini offers to talk to his family and make them understand that Jignesh is too young to get married and should focus on his career instead. This infuriates Nishi,
"Ma please! Aap aisa kuch nai karogi!"
"Bas bahut hogaya, Nishi ! Mein is topic par aur koi baat nahin karna chahti." Ragini shouts and moves to her chair.
"Okay Ma ! Mein papa se baat karungi. I'm sure woh meri baat samjhnge !"
Ragini stops. She slowly turns around and faces her daughter.
"Han Ma, aap ko baat nahin karni naa Jignesh ki family se to na karen. Mein papa se baat karungi."
Ragini quickly composes herself, "Kon se papa? Jinhon ne tumhe kabhi pucha bhi nahi in solah saalon mein??"
"Aap ne bhi to kabhi in saalon mein apne dusre bachon se baat karne ki koshish nai kari Ma!"
"Nishi !" Ashaben screamed.
And the unsaid was finally said in this house.
Ragini clutched the chair tightly, trying hard to hold her tears back while Nishi spoke further about how she never understands them. She stood motionless and walks to her room when Nishi leaves.
Leaning against the shut door Ragini falls down suddenly. She started crying like a child with her head on her knees.
Aap ne bhi to kabhi in saalon mein apne dusre bachon se baat karne ki koshish nai kari, Ma!
Flashback
"Mujhe samajh nahin araha Ragini yeh kaisa faisla liya hai tum dono ne !!" Ashaben was furious. She couldn't believe her daughter and son-in-law had decided to part their ways and also going to divide the children.
"Dekh Ragini ! Tum dono ke differences apni jaga lekin mein tum dono ke bachon ke saath aisa hargiz nahin hone doongi. Aane do Nachiket ko mein baat karti hun usse" She said firmly.
Ragini sat silent on the window sofa. She was leaning against the wall with her head tilted upward slightly, staring up blankly.
Ashaben shook her by arm. Ragini turned her head towards her mother. This made Ashaben more furious,
"Ragini tu sunn bhi rahi hai? Mein tujhse baat kar rahi hun !"
"Nachiket aaj ayega...bachon ko leine." She said in a broken voice.
Ashaben's anger was gone. She couldn't see her daughter like this. "Ragini ! Tu reh paegi uske bina??" She said while sitting beside her.
"Han Ma ! Mujhe aise insan ki zarurat nahin. Reh sakti hun mein uske bagair" Ragini said in a kind of a robotic voice.
"Aur bacche?"
"Unko bhi akaile paal sakti hun mein"
"Aur jo unko baap ka pyaar chahiye?" Ashaben looked directly into her eyes.
Ragini was silent.
"Apne bachon ko mein maa aur baap dono ban kar paloongi." She finally spoke after a while. "Unhe itna pyaar dungi ke unhe baap ki kami mehsoos nahin hogi." Her voice becoming weaker with every word, it was as if she was talking to herself; telling herself that she can do it.
"Ragini, tu Agham aur Ranbir ke bina reh paegi?"
A tear fell down Ragini's eyes. She looked away. They both sat there in silence.
Ashaben put her hand on Ragini's and opened her mouth to speak when the doorbell rang. She went out to check.
Ragini didn't move. She was sitting in the same position again.
"Nachiket nahin aaya ! Mein laine ayi hun bachon ko, apne bhateejo ko. Kahan hain dono?!"
It was Pam's voice.
Ragini was startled. She suddenly got up and held Agham and Ranbir who were sleeping on the bed..she hugged them tight and the tears didn't stop.
It was worse than what she had thought. It was as if someone had come to take away her life..a piece of her heart and made sure she lives incomplete her whole life. Ragini tightened the hug. She wanted to say so much to her Ranbir and Agham..but she couldn't find her voice. She kept crying and crying.
Someone tried to open the door from outside. It was locked. Ragini had locked it when she heard Pam's voice.
"Ragini, darwaza khol. Pam lene aayi hai bachon ko." Ashaben said weakly.
Ragini squeezed her children closer.
"Mamma, kya hua hai? Aap kyun ro rahe ho?" Ranbir asked innocently.
Ragini started kissing his whole face..still not speaking a word.
"Usey kahiye jaldi kare, mere pass faaltu ka time nahin hai!" Pam shouted from the living room.
"Ragini, beta darwaza khol!" Ashaben said again.
Ragini opened the door..
Ashaben's eyes were moist..it was as if she was trying hard to control her own tears. She looked at Ragini who held Agham tight against her chest and hugged Ranbir protectively. She stood in an awkward posture as if she was trying to protect her children from a monster who had come to take them away from her.
Ashaben couldn't take it anymore. "Ragini abhi bhi waqt hai beta, Nachiket ko phone mila and tum dono apni narazgi khatam karo. Mujhe ziada nahin pata tum dono ke kya differences hain. Tu bas Nachiket ko maaf karde beta aur bhula de sub jo bhi hua." Ashaben tried the last time.
Ragini looked at her disapprovingly. "Ma, woh bachon ko bhi khud nahin laine aya..." Her voice choked with tears.
She looked at Ranbir who seemed confused. She was suddenly feeling breathless. She hugged them the last time..and didn't move. After two minutes Ragini broke the hug suddenly. Handing Agham to Ashaben she walked to the window.
"Mumma, naani humein kahan lejarahi hain?!" Ranbir cried. "Mumma please kuch bolen na. Mein aap ko chod kar nahin jaunga." He was pulling Ragini's hand. Ragini stood still like a statue.
"Mumma aap ne promise kara tha. Aap nahi chod kar jaoge mujhe!" Ranbir said weeping. Ashaben held his hand and dragged him out.
"Mummmaaa..." Ranbir cried out..
Agham's cries and Ranbir's pleading broke her heart into zillion little pieces but Ragini didn't look back. It felt as if the grim reaper was taking away her soul and she couldn't do anything about it.
Ragini's tears had stopped..but her heart was weeping, bitterly and loudly. She felt like she was going to die.
She stood there for hours and hours. Then suddenly she remembered the letter from Nachiket which Ashaben handed her when she came to take Ranbir and Agham away.
Ragini sat on the sofa and opened it.
"Jaa raha hoon mein! Ab dubara kabhi laut kar nahin aunga.
Aaj se hum dono ki zindagi ka batwara hogaya. Aur jinhe humne zindagi di un bachon ka bhi.
Aaj se hum dono ke beech koi yaad baaqi nahin rahegi. Na koi rishta. Na kisi rishte ki nishaani.
Na mere bache tumhe kabhi mud kar dekhnge. Na tumhare bache mujhe. Na mere bacche kabhi tumhe yaad karnge. Na tumhare bacche mujhe.
Aaj se humare beech sub kucch khatam. It's finished."
Fresh tears roll down her eyes.
"Finally, it's over!" Ragini said to herself.
"Jis rishte mein kuch bacha hi nai tha, aaj uska astitva bhi khatam hogaya..
Ja sakte ho tum, Nachiket. Aur laut kar waapis kabhi mat aana.." She said wiping away her tears.
"Mein tumhe kabhi yaad nahin karungi. Aur naa hi mere bache..
Mein akeli in ki maa aur baap dono ban ke inhe paloongi..
Aisi parwarish karungi itna pyaar doongi ke tumhari yaad kabhi inki taraf phatgegi bhi nahin. Mein tumhari kami kabhi inhe mehsus nai hone doongi. Never."Ragini murmured to herself.
That night was still fresh in Ragini's mind. It had haunted her in the last sixteen years.
Ragini wiped away her tears and stood up. She walked to her bed and took out a photo from her bedside table. It was a perfect family photo. Nachiket, Ragini and their four kids. They had it clicked a few months before their separation.
Ragini would keep it under her pillow at night and then hide it in her drawer in the morning. She didn't want anyone to find out about it. She would look at it at every night, touching it. And cry herself to sleep.
Someone knocks on her door, she immediately puts the photo under her pillow and sits on the bed. After a few seconds, Ashaben opens the door and enters. Ragini doesn't look in her direction. She knew it would be no one but her mother.
Ashaben sits beside her on the bed and doesn't say anything.
After a minute or so, Ragini speaks.
"Solah saal Ma! Solah saal meine apni zindagi inke liye sacrifice kardi aur aaj..." She says heartbroken.
"Ragini, tu ek baar Jignesh ki family se baat kyun nai karti?" Ashaben questions her in response.
"Ma, aap bhi !" Ragini is a little shocked.
"Mein jaanti hoon Ragini, tu nahin chahti ke Nishi ke saath wohi sub ho joh tere saath hua. Lekin beta woh abhi bachi hai. Usko samajh nahin." Ashaben tries to make her understand Nishi.
"Maa, bachi hai islie nahin chahti ke itna jaldi shaadi kare. Abhi tak isne padhayi bhi puri nahin kari."
"Dekh Ragini, mein ye thodi naa keh rahi hoon ke abhi shaadi kara de uski. Maggar tu bhi tou uske jazbaat ko samajh beta. Is umar mein bache jazbaati hojate hain. Tujhe yaad hai jab tu 19 saal ki umar mein shaadi karna chahti thi tab meine bhi aise mana kara tha. Lekin tune meri baat nahin maani thi"
"Islie Ma mein nahin chahti ke Nishi wohi galati dohraye. "
"Tu aaj ye baat samajhti hai. Lekin is umer mein bachon ko samajh nahin aata beta. Jignesh acha ladka hai. Tu usse mil bhi chuki hai."
Ragini didn't answer but she seemed a little convinced now.
"Samajh rahi hai na meri baat?" Ashaben asks her.
"Haan Ma" Ragini smiles weakly.
"Chal ab khaana kha le" Ashaben had brought a food thaali with her which she put on her bedside table.
Ragini picks it up and says, "Han chalo khaate hain. Mujhe pata hai aap ne tou khaya nahi hoga."
"Tere khaye bina kese kha sakti hun mein." Ashaben says while putting the food in her mouth. They both eat together in their room.
The next day afternoon
Ragini returns home earlier at around 4pm.
"Ma, mein ghar agayi. Bache kahan hain?" She asks.
Nishi comes out of her room when she hears Ragini's voice, "Aap Jignesh ke ghar gayi thi?" She asks her loudly.
"Haan Nishi beta. Meine socha.." She says coming close to her.
Nishi cuts her in the middle angrily, "Meine aap ko mana kara tha naa ke aap Jignesh ki family se kuch nahin kohogi."
"Nishi, tu meri baat tou sun" Ragini tries to calm her down. But Nishi goes on,
"Aap ne ja kar yeh baat kehdi ke Jignesh bacha hai aur usko abhi shaadi nahin karni chahiye. I can't believe it !" Nishi fumes at her.
Ragini tries to explain to her but she goes inside her room and locks the door.
Ragini looks at Ashaben. She signals to her that she will take care of it. But Ragini walks to her room and knocks the door,
"Nishi! Open the door beta. Beth kar baat karte hain."
"Mujhe koi baat karni ab!" Nishi cries.
Ragini tries another time and then she goes to her room.
She was half-lying on her bed when she fell asleep. Ashaben didn't wake her up for the lunch, she knew Ragini hadn't slept the last night.
After about three hours, Ragini is woken up by Sunny tai's worried voice,
"Ragini tai..woh.."
Ragini sits up worried looking at Sunny tai's face, "Kya hua Sunny tai?"
"Woh Nishi ne apni nas kaat li hai"
***
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