Chapter 31B She looked over at the clock. It was past 9 and he was still not back. She called him many times and he wouldn't pick up nor did he respond to her text. She was becoming anxious as to where he was and in what condition. She closed her fists crumpling up the movie tickets he had got for them in frustration on not knowing where he was or how to talk to him. As she sat in her room thinking about all that happened today Ruhi's cries broke the silence of the room. She slowly walked to the crib and picked up the infant who was crying bitterly. She rocked her, tried to feed her and play with her, but it seemed like nothing would make her stop.
"Do you also want your dad?" she asked holding back tears that began to brim her eyes.
Stepping out into the balcony to see if he was back home to help her out, she was again disappointed, but had managed to calm down her crying daughter.
Watching from the door Mihika watched her sister cry for her husband and her unaware niece. She remembered what she had told him and his silent reaction to what she had said. At first she assumed his silence to prove her words right and that he truly had neglected and hurt her sister, but now it seemed as if he was extremely hurt by what she had told him. Maybe she had been a bit rude and even taken it too far, but wasn't what she said true? Then why was her Akka reacting like this. Any other day or maybe any other person she wouldn't have minded her standing up against the other person but today she was instead mad at her. She remembered Ishita words after Raman had left...
"Mihika! Are you crazy?! I told you to stay out of it! You don't know Raman! You know he was a widower, you know he has a daughter and has now married me to give that daughter a mother. What else do you know about him? You don't know who he is, what he has been through, his vulnerability, his emotions, his feelings, his life...you know nothing! Mihika you met him probably 2-3 times, is that really enough for you to judge him?! You would have killed him if he judged me and said anything in our first meetings, so why such hypocrisy and that too from you? And you don't know him, that's fine...but I know him, so why can't you believe what I have to say about him?"
"Akka he doesn't behave the way you describe to me. You said he's a gentleman, but he didn't behave like one today!"
"One day...one slip and you will say all that you did to him?! Mihika...how many times do I have to tell you to try and understand him? He's not usually like he was right now and you know everyone gets angry so he is no exception. Don't expect him to be perfect because even I'm not perfect nor are you."
"He's hurting you!"
"Yes he hurts me! His pain, his tears, seeing him upset, seeing him in guilt and becoming the quiet man I knew before hurts me! If you hurt him, you hurt me...and that's exactly what you have done today. Mihika, you don't know Raman... simple! So you don't know the man is drowning himself in guilt and I was trying to get him out of it. But you just added onto it ruining everything. If anything and I mean anything happens to him today emotionally, physically, or in any other way... remember that you caused it and you were the one that caused me pain. Not him...he doesn't cause pain in me, people like you who hurt my husband cause me pain! So stop it! Because next time I won't tolerate any tears or worry of his caused by you!"
Mihika came out of her thoughts as Ishita walked by ignoring her taking Ruhi out into the living room.
"Akka maybe I was wrong. Yes I don't know him, so I'm bound to talk about him based of whatever I've seen and seeing him snap like that, I'm sorry it gets to me. You told me not to interfere, but I can't help it. I'm scared...of you getting hurt again. You're way too nice Akka, and I don't want anyone to take advantage of it."
"Today was the first time he has yelled at me. Only I know how bad he is probably feeling for doing so. And you added onto that regret he's having. I just hope it's not too bad and he comes out quickly."
"Will he really be that sorry?"
"I hope he's not, but he probably is. He's going to think about what you said over and over. Probably thinks he's selfish...anyways why am I telling you all this? You will need your own time to figure him out and my words aren't going to make a difference."
"I'll say sorry."
"He will know I made you. And honestly I don't want you to say sorry. I just want you to know that Raman isn't what you're thinking he is. So take your time to recognize him, but please don't hurt him like you have today."
"I will. And I'm really sorry for all this, I didn't know it would end up like this...I should get going now."
"Stay here for a while. At least until he comes back...I'm feeling really lonely all alone."
"I'll wait here as long as you need."
~~~~~
She placed Ruhi right in the middle bed and sat down next to her as she finished lining the other side with pillows and cushions. She heard the click of the door and finally the worry she had was over. He was back home. Surrounding Ruhi with cushions, she rushed out to the living room to find him entering the house quietly. He was tired and his puffy red eyes showed he had been crying. There was a small feeling of disappointment that this time he didn't lean on her shoulder to cry on, but it was overpowered by the relief she had gotten seeing him back home safe and sound.
"Raman!"
"Ishita..."
She didn't wait for him to finish his sentence. She slowly walked over to him and whether it was her guilt, her relief, her worry, or just her need for him, she put her arms around his neck resting her head on his drooping shoulders as unshed tears rolled down from her eyes to his shirt. He wasn't taken back nor was he expecting this, but he felt good. After so long, it seemed like someone cared if he came back home, someone was there waiting for him, worried for him, and needed him to be there. And he needed her just as much.
He put his arms around her cuddling onto her not wanting her to go away. As he put his head against hers and closed his eyes, his mind had a sense of calmness that he had been looking for hours now. He didn't stop her tears today, she needed this moment and so did he. She was taking out her feelings and he was letting her do so while she was unknowingly also giving him the peace he wanted so badly.
He had been feeling horrible mere seconds back, but it was her embrace that assured him he wasn't at fault. He wasn't completely wrong, though there was no denying that Mihika had said a truth that was hard to digest; that he didn't know about her past and their relationship was starting to look like it was all about Raman Bhalla. But now he had forgotten all that for a moment as he hugged onto her tightly, silently thanking God for sending her to be with him and telling himself to be with her.
She was finally assured he was there and he was okay despite her sister's words and her actions today. He felt her move slightly in her spot and knew she had gotten what she wanted from this moment of togetherness, so he broke the hug after few seconds he wanted to cherish.
"Okay?" he almost whispered as he had her sit on the couch.
"I'm fine now. But are you?" she cupped his face gently looking at his swollen eyes.
"I am now." He took her hands off her face and held them tightly.
"Raman whatever Mihika said-"
"Was true to an extent." He sighed as everything came back to him. It was time they had to talk.
"She wasn't thinking and-"
"Listen I know you're going to say no it's not true. But you probably know as well that our relationship is starting to seem one sided. You're making so many efforts to make me happy, to bring me out of my past while I haven't even been able to get you to open up. You won my trust, gave me enough space and comfort that I could talk to you, but I haven't been able to the same for you. Somewhere down the line I got too engrossed in my own pain and past, I didn't put in the efforts to earn your trust and give you the comfort you need to open up to me. I lacked or failed to give you all that you needed from me."
"No Raman, you didn't lack or fail. In fact at each step in our marriage, you have only won over my trust and respect. I don't have a problem talking to you, in reality after I saw you talk about yourself and how you seemed to feel after it, I also want to be the same way. I want someone to share all that I want to talk about, but it's me who hasn't been able to get a point where I can talk. Raman I haven't been able to do what you have done, I haven't got the courage or energy to talk about everything."
"If that's the case then I will try to take you to that point where you can talk, but until then it's okay. And always remember I don't need to know until you want to tell me and I would want to know to when you are ready to tell me."
"Raman, everyone is saying so much about you now. Mihika didn't think twice before saying all that to you. I should be the one to blame...in fact I am willingly to tell you everything right now to make it stop."
"And how many times do I have to say I don't want to hear until you're fully ready. Ishita we've already decided this is about us not other people."
"But are you not mad at what Mihika said? You're behaving so normally when you were clearly hurt by her words before."
"I was. Because you know they say the truth is always bitter. What she said was right. Why is it all about me right now? But that doesn't mean we do things we can't just to balance this relationship. It can't be done in a day and we'll get there slowly. Don't worry."
There was absolute stillness in the place as they both didn't know what else to say. Lost in their own thoughts, she leaned over and carefully put her head onto his shoulder. The dimly lit room was so silent that their whispers would be heard loud and clear as she began...
"What are we doing with ourselves?"
"I don't know."
"What will happen to us?"
"I don't know."
"Will it all be okay?"
"I hope so."
"Raman..."
"Hmmm"
"When did you and I become us?"
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That was all for this short update! Hope you all like it and will leave your feedback! Looking forward to reading it.
Edited by smilesforever98 - 10 years ago
Bigg Boss 19
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