"You remember Yuvraj Birla?" Bhavna asked Suhani, "He's going to be staying here for awhile. Amit invited him to use this place," she continued hurriedly, "Because he's going to be working close by for the next few weeks. You don't mind, na? "
Suhani frowned, as if something irked her. "If Amit's asked him, of course, Di, why should I mind? But he spoke to me very strangely the other day. Or maybe I just felt he was behaving strangely."
Yuvraj arrived that afternoon, two days after he'd met Suhani at the golgappa stand. It was all kind of awkward, he'd actually forced himself on them, and he could feel Bhavna's trepidation and Suhani's less-than-welcoming attitude. It was lunchtime on a Saturday, and he felt even more of a pile-on. Amit was there, too, and the guy who'd been with Suhani when they met her in town. Bhavna introduced him as Dr. Sandip, a college friend of hers. Obviously he knew Suhani too, and was quite attentive towards her. "Doctor hai, bhai," Yuvraj told himself. "He must be keeping an eye on her."
Bhavna had told him that there were a few changes in Suhani, at least she felt so. "Maa and papa don't agree, but they don't see her that often or for very long."
This was worrying. "What kind of changes?" Yuvraj had asked.
"She gets angry a lot more--Suhani rarely got very angry earlier. But you should see for yourself. Maybe I'm wrong."
He felt a bit nervous. If there was one thing he had dreaded, it was Suhani not being in her usual sunny mood. Leave alone anger, even her silence scared him. All he'd wanted to do was fix it and have her back to normal.
The rest of the weekend he stayed in the background, observing Suhani, looking for changes, seeing how the household functioned. Apparently, here was a cook and a person to do the cleaning, so neither Bhavna or Suhani had any onus of housework. He noted that this doctor guy was mooning over Suhani more than his profession warranted. Sandip caught him staring at him once or twice and looked uncomfortable. "Good," thought Yuvraj. "Think twice before you get too friendly with my girl."
Bhavna had also told him that Sandip knew everything, including the story of Yuvraj and Suhani's marriage. As he often was the one who took her into town, he had to be aware that certain situations were dangerous, such as anyone talking of the marriage. The risk was small, but it had happened when Yuvraj came up to them at the golgappa stall. Sandip had been terrified, no wonder he'd hustled her away.
Suhani mostly ignored him at lunch. He saw her attention turn to him as he was talking to Amit about his mother, dadi, his brothers, and she asked him,"How is your mother? I remember her. Sweet lady." He replied that his mother was okay, and she turned back to Sandip, once more ignoring him.
In spite of this, he was happier than he had been these past months. It was difficult to get used to Suhani treating him as a casual acquaintance, but it would do for now. After how he'd behaved with her sometimes, this was like just desserts. He wanted very much to ask up to what point in their history she remembered, but that was out. Around Bhavna's wedding meant quite early on.
Amit and Sandip left on Sunday evening. It was quiet, peaceful, this place, very pleasant. Suhani went off to her room quite early, and he wondered if she was avoiding him, not pleased to have him intruding, whether he should re-think this whole situation. He decided to turn in early too, and as he wished Bhavna goodnight, she motioned to the bottle of water on the table and asked him to take it to Suhani's room. "She'll probably be fast asleep by now," she said. "She's been having disturbed nights, so the doctor's given her these pills that really knock her out." She saw Yuvraj frowning. "Just for 10 days," she said, "Just to regularize the sleep pattern."
He took the bottle and went to her room, knocking softly before entering. She was asleep, turned towards him, an echo of the Suhani who'd slept beside him for so many months. Only her hair was short--a consequence of the accident, as he'd guessed. He went and placed the bottle on her bedside table, and then, almost involuntarily, stroked her cheek, tucking stray strands of hair behind her ear, repressing the urge to touch her more, once again dampening down the urges as he had done so often before. It would be too creepy to touch her when she was drugged.
The next morning at breakfast, he told the girls, "Use me. Next week, I start work again, so I'll be out of your hair, but anything you need this week, anywhere you want to go, just say the word."
He took them for drives, they went to eat the golgappas these Srivastav girls couldn't get enough of, he even once again agreed to have tea at one of Suhani's horrid dhabas. She noticed the look on his face as he sat down, and told him, "What a snob you are, Yuvraj Birla! You get THE best tea at these places. Better than your five-star hotels."
"Nothing wrong with five-star hotels," he snapped back at her. "At least they're clean."
Bhavna watched as they argued bitterly, remembering them at that restaurant where she'd met them several months ago. The difference was that there was no love-light in her sister's eyes this time, and she was being rather more combative than the subject warranted. Still, there was something between these two. She felt both pleased and fearful. She would love Suhani to have her happy ending with Yuvraj, but would that not mean her re-living the pain she had already suffered once?
Towards the end of the week, an incident occurred that reshaped their equation. Bhavna needed something from the upper cabinet in her room, and Yuvraj, who was on the phone, saw Suhani fetching the stool and stopped her. "Leave it, I'll do it," he said, putting a hand over the phone speaker. "Give me 2 minutes."
But when he finished his call and returned to Bhavna's room, he saw her teetering on the stool. "SUHANI!" he roared. "Get down at once!"
She startled and almost lost her balance, then righted herself and glared down at him. "Are you mad? Why are you shouting? I almost fell!"
"Kya nayi baat hai, " he muttered. "You are the one who's mad," he said to her, "Didn't I tell you I'd do it? Kabhi toh meri baat sun liya karo, Suhani! "
Her expression changed, like she had vanished deep within herself. She stared at him, searchingly, like there was something she was reaching for. Then she snapped back to her usual self. By now Bhavna was hovering anxiously, and Yuvraj realized that he'd spoken far too familiarly. "Sorry," he said, as he helped her down. "I just got nervous seeing you there."
"Hadd ho gayi," she said crossly. "Is tarah se chilla rahe the, mano I'm 10 years old and you're my guardian."
But what was that, she asked herself later. When he'd shouted at her, it was like deja vu--she could see them having a similar conversation umpteen times. The doctor had told her about false memories--that it was possible that everything she remembered may not be true. That her brain had been traumatised and she could 'remember' things that had never happened. For a minute there it had felt like she knew Yuvraj a whole lot better than she actually did.
But, for some strange reason, this thawed their new-old relationship. She seemed to realize he had actually been very concerned for her. And she had seen his behaviour with Bhavna, courteous, concerned, helpful. He wasn't that bad after all, probably. She included him in her circle now, talking normally, teasing him when he amused her with his fetish for hygiene or when she felt he was being pompous. Yuvraj had never thought he could feel so ecstatic when Suhani laughed mockingly at his hand sanitizer or when he lectured someone on cleanliness. And yet, there were those moments when she stopped and stared at him like something bothered her. He only hoped this was not going to hurt her recovery in any way.
Pushpa Impossible
