Dis is just a little sth dt I cudnt get out of my mind,so hd 2 jot it down..I wil confess I Dint follow Neil or NeSam 4m da beginning,so most of it is my imagination.😳But Neil or Shravan md me write dis.Dt ws how much of an impact he hd on me.As I cn only write if I feel it 4m my heart.😳
Nd so dis one is dedicated to Neil..
Nd if u guys like it and not throw too many rotten tomatoes and eggs,I myt mk it in2 a series of OSs..Nd if u dnt want it,dn I'll jst leave it here.No prblm.So da choice is urs.😉
Nd I m a bit worried coz dis is not my usual line of work.
p.s.Dis is just a work of fiction.So plz no bashing.😆
p.p.s.Sorry b4hand if I bore u too much!😳
p.p.p.s.Plz leave ur views even if u do think its rotten..😛I wud stil love to know it!😳
Love,
Tehsina(SINA)]
~BROKEN..~
The BROKEN pieces were raw,
They shattered crumbled and hurt..
The smile still would never falter..
If it's destiny that plays all the wicked games-
Why am I always the pawn in these games?
Why doesn't My destiny ever alter???
Pain is never only a word.But for every people in the world it is one word that has a different meaning.Some feel it in the day to day life.Some feel it health maladies.Some feel it in the hungry empty stomached nights they spend.Some feel it in being crushed by the powerful.And some feel it by loving..
Love..And What is this love?A small word that brings a blush on some people's face.A smile on some.A yearning in some.Darkness in some ..Tears in some eyes..But the most beautiful of it all-A pain filled smile on some.Yes,the smile you have to give to your love and the world to mask your pain.That is love too.
And sometimes while doing so,you break to pieces.Small tiny pieces,that are sharper than shards of glasses,and yet stronger than granite itself.But yet the pieces hurt.The pieces dig down into your insides,making you struggle to breathe with the constricting tightening pain,and choking the life out of you slowly but surely,and yet all you can do is smile.And the torment just increases by folds..Everyday..Every second..Every moment..With every breath it increases in leaps and bounds..And what do you do then?Do you let it take you away..?Or do you live it..?What does it really feel to be really BROKEN?
Neil walked alone by the beach,his naked feet sinking into the gritty sand,as small waves lapped and washed at his feet.Cool sea breeze blew at him,making his hair a mess,but he did not notice.Or even if he did,right then he really did not care.
A stone poked hard into his naked sole.He winced a bit,but then smiled.The pain was so little compared to the pain he was feeling in his heart.His eyes again misty,he looked up at the darkening night sky,and took in a shaky breath.Trying hard to hold it all in.
He tried to think about good things..His good memories..
"NEIL!!!See what I got for you?!!"
Neil could not help but chuckle.
"Aarey Samrat Singh how can I see when you have covered my eyes?!"
"That's really not done!To see,you only need a heart..See through your heart's eyes.."
And Neil had not seen that day..He had not seen that Sam had bought him a camera.But he had seen later..Much later..And then it was too late..
Neil wiped away the stray tears that had started falling from his eyes unknowingly,and chuckled to himself.
How blind he was..How blind he always was..And his blindness had caused him this..
He started walking towards the sea then..The sea,that was becoming a bit wilder now.The waves larger,and harsher,as the sky above was darkening faster.A storm was coming..You could smell it in the air.But Neil was not aware of it.Or maybe he was,and that is why he walked towards the sea.
Huge waves hindered his movement.
"Neil..?What is love?"A thoughtful Sam asked pouting her lips.
He was busy staring at the way the breeze blew at her open locks,so barely had time to think before he replied.
"Love?Well..It is a word made by some silly people to explain their silly feelings."He chuckled at his own explanation.
Sam stared daggers at him,and Neil enjoyed her stare.She looked cute when she did that.
"I am serious Neil!"
That made him sober up,and this time he looked straight and deep into her eyes with the most serious look.And did he imagine it,or was she a bit shocked by that.
"Seriously Sam,love had different meanings for different people.And as for me,I don't know it yet.."
"But when you do know the meaning you'll tell me?"
Neil was not sure what made him stay quiet to that for a few seconds..Something tugged at his heart.What it was,he wasn't even sure..So he quickly brushed it off.
"Yes Sam..I'll tell you..But why are you asking about love suddenly?"
"I want to know it Neil..I want to fall in love..Love someone,and be loved..Ishqwala love.."She grinned at him,her eyes twinkling,and Neil smiled back hesitantly.There was something about her wish that sounded strange to him.But he could not put his fingers onto it..
And then one day Sam was in love.The perfect fairy tale story where the girl falls for the mysterious stranger..
And Neil,stood by,watching them dance the waltz..A lone man..Stranded finally..
Loud thuder boomed overhead,as Neil stood in knee high water.Strong waves made him wet all over.Salty water sprayed on his mouth and cloth nearly drenching him completely.His eyes glittering like the stormy sea,Neil looked up ahead into the darkened stormy sea..
Sam had found the one finally.And Neil now knew the meaning of love.Sam had asked him to tell her..But now she surely had her own meaning..
Something squeezed hard in his heart.A wrenching pain,that was increasing slowly.
"Sam?Sam I-.."Neil looked at her brushing her hair in front of the mirror.
"Can we talk later Neil,please?Arjun and I have a date tonight.."Sam hurried out of the room.
"But Sam-.."
Neil stood all alone,staring at where Sam had been standing only moments ago.Her soft fruity scent still reached his sensitive nostrils.But she herself was gone..And Neil somehow knew he was losing her..
The thunder rolled louder and closer,and the waved showed its fury and wrath at him,nearly making him fall with its added force.But Neil stood his ground rigidly.
The back of his eyes,tingled badly with barely held back tears now,as his insides seemed to twist painfully.Tiny jagged pieces of shattered memories ripping at his insides..The pain slowly but surely tightened round his heart like a huge slimy snake,twisting the life out of him..He could feel the choking feeling again.His heart was being twisted painfully tighter and tighter and tighter,and he was having difficulty in breathing.He could..barely..breathe..
"Neil!I am in love!!!"She smiled at him,and suddenly his insides soared with happiness.
Was she in love with-..
"Neil I am in love with Arjun!!!"The smile stayed on his lips,but no one heard the loud crashing sound of his heart breaking to pieces.No one saw the pain his eyes could not hide.She saw the smile,but not the tears he tried to hide with that big smile.It was as if she never really cared..It was as if,he was not really there..It was as if,his heart had never beaten..It was as if,he had just ceased to exist..
"But I love you Sam..What about me?"Neil whispered brokenly out at the stormy sea,as simultaneously the sky broke loose in a heavy downfall.
And this time he could not hold back the sobs that were burning his insides.A loud wave pushed him hard,and he fell to his knees,as loud sobs wracked his body.
"WHAT ABOUT ME SAM?!!WHY DID YOU FORGET ME?!!"He raged out,as he cried his heart out at the wild sea,and the thundering storm.
Waves washed his tears away along with the rainwater,but the tears seemed to be never ending,as he wept long and hard..His loud sobs masked by the sound of thunder and thrashing waves,yet the loudest in all of them..
Sam had once asked her to see through his heart,and somehow she forgot to use her heart's eyes..And now he could never tell her,what Love meant to him..Because she just would not want to know anymore.Not anymore..
His loud sobs would have broken any heart..Torn away any soul to shreds..His anguish would have melted the hardest cynic..But nothing and no one could ease his pain..AS Neil sobbed hard and loud,taking it all out finally..Letting the jagged pieces destroy once and for all..Not holding the pain back anymore..Not trying to hide it anymore..He let it all out..
And for once Neil Malhotra was truly,completely and unequivocally BROKEN..
~That's all folks!!!😳~
