Munna Bhia jokes

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Veer ki Zaraa

@veer-zaraa

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Posted: 17 years ago

MUNNA BHAI JOKES

PROFESSOR :
Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jante ho?
MUNNA BHAI :
Gandhi bahut zabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin maloom ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.

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CIRCUIT :
Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI :
Aye Circuit, woh Sabrina ka baap aya hai tere ko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT :
Bhai usko bolo apun gaoon gayea hai, kheti karne ko.
MUNNA BHAI :
Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT :
Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.

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MAMU :
Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL :
Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?

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CIRCUIT :
Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla hai aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI :
Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT :
Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.

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MAMU :
Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Sindhi sikhna padega. Kuch hal batao.
MUNNA BHAI :
Kannada kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU :
Meinay ek Sindhi baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne lagay ga.
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PROFESSOR :
Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI :
Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.

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MUNNA BHAI :
Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT :
Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI :
Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT :
Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.

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Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is seated next to an Englishman. Circuit open his tiffin and serves himself a roti.
ENGLISHMAN :
What is this?
CIRCUIT :
Bread India
Circuit then open the box of jalebi.
ENGLISHMAN :
What is this?
CIRCUIT :
Sweet India
With all the food he hogged on, Munna farts. The Englishman is offended and in shock asks ...
ENGLISHMAN :
What is that?
CIRCUIT :
Air India

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CIRCUIT :
Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU :
Nehin.
CIRCUIT :
To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.

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MUNNA BHAI :
Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU :
Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI :
Yaad nahin hai yaar. Bahut purani baat hai.

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MUNNA BHAI :
Mamu, tu kitna padha hai?
MAMU :
B.A.
MUNNA BHAI :
Sala, two lafz padha aur woh bhi ulta?

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MAMU :
Oye, maar gayea yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hain.
MAMU KA DOST :
Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.

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CIRCUIT :
Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT :
Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.

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PRINCIPAL :
Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.

MUNNA BHAI :
Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu