Love Asylum: Epilogue on Page 78! COMPLETE. (May 21st)

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KRISHAJADAV

@KRISHAJADAV

Inactive

Posted: 10 years ago

#191

OMG very interesting part...please post soon...realy exited for next part.. 😊

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kritz4ever

@kritz4ever

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

#192

What is the mystery of sanyukta

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Mansi Vatwani

@MansiVatwani

Navigator

Posted: 10 years ago

#193

Finally Sanyukta's mystery gonna revealed!! This part was too cute ^_^

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Moon light

@moonlight3094

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

#194

eagerly waiting for the next part.. :D Dairy!! ;)

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Saffi Sanam

@ilovepyaar

Stunner

+ 7

Posted: 10 years ago

#195

Twenty Eight

Diary Entry #1:

I never kept a diary before. In my whole life I thought I was able to keep things inside... but things changed, or should I say I changed.

From the moment I set eyes on him, on Randhir Singh Shekhawat, I knew. He was the one. You can call it stupidity, insanity, whatever you like... but I know in my heart that he is the right one, I can feel it. It's almost like an inner instinct.

He never looks at me... in fact, he probably does not even know my name. But it's okay. I don't need him to... because loving him from afar is completely okay. I love him... no I won't deny it. Kaustuki thinks I'm absolutely mental. Maybe I am. She says I've never spoken to him... how can I possibly love him?

But love doesn't mix with logic.

It's so irrational I can't even explain it myself... I just... I love him. From the depths of my heart and soul, I love him so much. I don't need him to love me too. However, something tells me that maybe we're meant to be? And for that I feel like I need to try. I won't be upset if my love is unrequited.

I'm just so happy to have felt the beauty of love.

For his sake though, I need to try. I need to show him I exist. I'll put in a little effort from my side, and let destiny take care of the rest. If we're meant to be then surely destiny will bring us together in some way, somehow?

He's a player... casanova types. But it's okay. None of that matters to me. He simply doesn't know. He's lost. Love as a concept probably doesn't even exist for him. It's okay. I know love will change him. Love has to change him. It doesn't have to be my love, but someone's love will come along the way, and he will fall.

It could be my love - and for that I will begin to put in some effort. I don't know him too well, but from what I understand of him, he wants to sleep with girls... to get them in bed. If I come across as easy to get then perhaps he'll pay me more attention.

For him, I don't even mind degrading myself. Once again, Kaustuki thinks I should be admitted to some hospital... or rather, according to her, it should be some love asylum. Maybe she's right. Maybe I do deserve to be there... but my heart just won't rest unless I try, because somewhere inside, I truly feel like we're meant to be. It's not some childish feeling. It's just... I don't even know.

If God exists, then God will know that I'm doing everything with pure intentions. Other than that I don't have to explain myself to anyone.

I'll spread rumours about myself... I'll make myself look s**tty, I'll degrade myself so much that he'll have no choice but to acknowledge my existence. I will try. I have to try. I can't bear it if I put in no effort. If despite all of this, nothing happens between us, then I'll let go of it.

I promise.

Twenty Nine

Diary Entry #2:

I am back. I haven't written here for years, but that's because there was no progress. I had nothing to write. I never got Randhir's attention, and I tried to spread even the most far-fetched rumours about myself. Can you believe it? I spread that I got pregnant over the summer abroad, but I had an abortion. Just for his attention... just for him to recognize that I exist.

He gave me attention last night. There are two weeks left to graduate from college, and I get his attention now. But it's okay. It's better late than never... and I would never throw myself on him, or cling onto him. I just want to be a possibility for him, just want him to know that I am here to love him, if he wants to be loved. If he doesn't want me, it's okay. So be it.

Last night, in the nightclub, I got frustrated and tried to hit on Parth, his best friend, just to get closer to the group, but Parth gave me no attention. Probably because Vidhushi is practically his girlfriend, and Parth isn't even close to the casanova that Randhir is.

I was on the verge of giving up. I sent a silent prayer up and said... if I am meant to continue this, then please give me a sign, because I don't know how much longer I can degrade myself. It clearly wasn't working.

Randhir bumped into me. I took that as a positive sign - it must have been accidental, but I didn't care. It meant that our paths were meant to collide, and they did collide. Last night, Randhir gave me the most beautiful time.

He went into the washroom and I waited for him outside, because I decided it was now or never... we were to graduate in two weeks, and this was probably the only casual setting where we would get to talk to each other.

I swear - my intentions were to simply talk to him.

I said hi to him, and tried to get closer, because I knew he was the kind of person who liked physical interaction. I touched him... and oh my God, I can't even explain the electricity that ran through me when I placed my hand on his chest. Moving on though, he ordered that I didn't touch him... and that hurt me, but it was okay, because I wasn't doing any of this for myself.

I was doing it all for him.

I asked him to dance, but he flat out rejected me. When I asked why, he said he didn't dance with wh**es. I felt so hurt by his accusation, but I knew I had to play my part so I yelled at him and asked him how dare he call me that. I needed to make an impression, I couldn't just be like okay, yeah... so bye. I needed to keep the conversation going, and for that I argued with him.

Then he pulled me outside and kissed me... I almost collapsed. I was not expecting that. The feel of his lips on mine was something I can't even put to words, it was beautiful... magical... it was like our lips were meant to be together.

Randhir then took me home. To his home. And we had sex... no sorry, we made love. I told him no at first because I was nervous, but he didn't listen to it. I wasn't too adamant, I was confused. I reminded myself that everything I was doing was for him anyways, so I could sleep with him too. It was definitely a desire I had within myself.

It was beautiful. The most beautiful night of my life. I'm crying as I write this... maybe I won't get to see him or speak to him again. Maybe our story ends here. But this one night spent with him is enough to last me an eternity of happiness... of joy.

It wasn't the ideal way to lose your virginity if you look at it from outside, but to me it was perfect. Because I lost it to him, to Randhir Singh Shekhawat. I lost it to someone I am in love with. I had already given my mind and soul to him, and last night I gave him my body too. I don't regret it. Not even for a moment.

He probably wonders though, why there are rumours about me. Why I am a wh**e in the eyes of the whole college, when he knows that I was a virgin. It's okay, he can wonder. I hope he wonders. Maybe curiousity will bring him closer. If not, then it's okay, because he simply didn't care to begin with.

Well... I can sleep in peace tonight, with a smile on my face, and memories to warm my heart. I love Randhir, I love him so much. I am so happy to have felt complete with him, even if it was for a few moments.

Thank you Randhir. Thank you for giving me the best night of my life, for giving me the most pleasure, the most happiness, that I could have ever felt.

It took almost four years of effort - but it was so worth it.

I'm not sure whether he'll ever speak to me again, or even look in my direction. I'm not sure about anything. I'm just sure about one thing... that I love him, completely. And if my love is true and pure, then nothing will stop him from coming to me... with or without me trying.

I won't try anymore. Now I will relax and let destiny take over. Now I am satisfied enough to just let it be.

Now I can smile, because whether he comes to me or not, I know I will be perfectly fine.

I just hope he will be fine too.

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clarita

@clars

Rocker

Posted: 10 years ago

#196

😲OMG how u do it yaar saffy ...This was freaking awesome ,so thats the mystery she was in LOVE

Edited by clars - 10 years ago

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ritika

@ritikaagrawal

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

#197

omggg...it was just awesome😊😊😊
it was jus the amazing updates👏👏

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clarita

@clars

Rocker

Posted: 10 years ago

#198

Waiting to see Randhirs reaction now 😒 am sure he will feel he dosent deserve her love 😭

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nitzrushi

@nitzrushi

Navigator

Posted: 10 years ago

#199

oh my god it was such an awesome update...she loves him so much...

please update sooner...i can't wait to read her other diary entries

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Rashi Bhargava

@newmoon18

Sparkler

Posted: 10 years ago

#200

Finally the mystery revealed
We all were hell curious to know it

N it was wrthwtng

I so loved it

Awww sanyu loved rd
She did all this just for his attention

She let herself degrade for his love

God really kausto was right she's really crazy

Cnt wait for next
So eager to see rd reaction

I may sound greedy
Bt plz didu post one more updte of possible

Love u
Keep smiling

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Love Asylum: Epilogue on Page 78! COMPLETE. (May 21st) - Page 20

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