Pat-Jhar Ke Phool...new#pg8 (29/5) no PM

DamRyeong thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#1
Heyy guys..
yeah! it's me! Akki..
a few days back I posted something in Shivu's shayari's thread...
it was just a random thought on shayari and mohabbat...
and that damn girl appreciated it so much and motivated me for writing a few more so called nazm or shayari...thanks a bunch Shivu.. I will never forget you gal...*hugs*.
well, I myself is a huge fan of shayaris/ghazal/nazm..both Hindi and Urdu.. but never had the guts or talent to write any..

but, now since someone found my work worthy to be shared... I finally wrote a few more lines..
you guys, let me know ur views..whether i should continue writing.. (not necessarily to be posted here.. but in general),... if yes.. i'll post them here one by one..

here are two of my recent shayaris.. please read and comment..
even bashing is allowed.. i support criticism..
if u have suggestions and can tell me how i can improve.. please feel free to post ur views here..
i'll be more than happy with that...


1) kuchh yun ruswa-e-jahan kiya uske dil-e-bekhabar ne...
wo sunata hai apne ishq ke kisse.. meri mohabbat ke raazdaaro ke saamne

2) aaj subh khidki se bahar jhankte hue, phir yaad aayi tarasti hui wo nigah tumhari..
jab kasturi ke 2 adh khile phool mere baalon mein lagaye the tumne...
suno, wo shajar phir mehka hai is baras...

Raazdaar: people, who knows your secrets. Kasturi Kamal: Cherry Blossoms. Shajar: Tree. Ruswa-e-jahan: being dishonored in front of world..

please let me know.. how was it..?
please hit the like button and leave ur comments...
and don't worry this thread won't affect FF/SS updates.. LOL
love you all..
-Akki


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I n d e x
pg#5
pg#8


Edited by itsokaysammy - 10 years ago

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Nethravathi thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#2
Beautiful yaar Akki👏👏👏

Aise shaayari's padti hoon toh alag hi duniya main chali jaati hoon

Ek ek line main kitna gehra meaning chupa hota hain

I just loved it. Continue darling🤗
DamRyeong thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#3
@Nethra, thanks a bunch dear..
i'm so glad u liked it..
means a lot to me..
love


P.S. don't get mad after reading that thank you.. :P
Nethravathi thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: itsokaysammy

@Nethra, thanks a bunch dear..

i'm so glad u liked it..
means a lot to me..
love


P.S. don't get mad after reading that thank you.. :P

I was just about to get mad on you. 🤣 Accha kiya tumne ki pehle hi kehdiya😆😆😆
mikazuki thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: Nethravathi

I was just about to get mad on you. 🤣 Accha kiya tumne ki pehle hi kehdiya😆😆😆

i knew it.. that's why... 😆
Did you really like those lines yaar..
my heart was pounding.. whether u guys will like those or not..
i was hell nervous..
don't know what other members will say.. 😕
Nethravathi thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: DeadDevil-FF

i knew it.. that's why... 😆

Did you really like those lines yaar..
my heart was pounding.. whether u guys will like those or not..
i was hell nervous..
don't know what other members will say.. 😕

Haan yaar pasand aaye. Aise hi aur shaayari's likha karo ye nervousness bhi door hojaayegi😃
DamRyeong thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: Nethravathi

Haan yaar pasand aaye. Aise hi aur shaayari's likha karo ye nervousness bhi door hojaayegi😃

will try my best dear..🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗
bokul thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#8
beautiful
i loved it
please write more
lohananivedita thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#9
Nice lines...
You really are very talented...
I was fan of your stories and now have become ac. Of your shaayari...
Mindblowing...
Thanks a bunch to you for posting this for us...
lohananivedita thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#10
Nice lines...
You really are very talented...
I was fan of your stories and now have become ac. Of your shaayari...
Mindblowing...
Thanks a bunch to you for posting this for us...
Loved it...
Now will you continue it pwease... *puppy eyes*
And don't forget to pm me...
I wish I can like and comment more hundred times on this post...
Edited by lohananivedita - 10 years ago

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