"No..., don't..., stop," she whispered as she started to kick. Beads of sweat trickled down her neck. And her heart beating so loud that it drowned out every other sound. She tried to scream but her voice was muffled. Her eyes opened in terror as she saw his face hovering over hers. His hand muffling her cry.
"Sh...Shaanth" she breathed free when she heard him speak. "It's just me, Rudra!", he whispered gently pulled his hand. His fingers softy caressing her lips along the way. There was concern in eyes which was disconcerting. Wasn't she his enemy? Why did he care to soothe her pain away? She looked at the clock. 2 a.m. "It's late," she said wondering if he always returns home this late. A night lamp was suddenly turned on forcing him on his feet and throwing the sharp contours of his face into relief. "Rudra bhaisa? Thank god your back. Bhabhisa has trouble sleeping when you are late," Sunheri confessed. Paro glared at the younger girl. That wasn't true. She liked it when the Jallad wasn't hovering around her. She turned to him to deny it. He remembered the night she spent in his room. Her face was peaceful, without worry. Especially after the day she had. He reached for her hand and guided her out of bed. "She'll be right back," he told his sister. She was suprised when his fingers melted into hers. She was shocked when her feet followed his. "Looks like they both missed each other today," Sunheri giggled as she settled back into bed as he shut the door.
They climbed up the long stairs. She inched closer to him instinctively in the darkness. He turned and noticed her eyes. Almond shaped and filled with pools of honey. He could drown himself in them. He felt her fingers dig into his sleeve as she held his arm. "Are you afraid of the dark?" he asked. She nodded. He led her to the part of the terrace which bathed in moonlight. She released her grip and looked over the railing. He saw her profile as the moonbeams outlined every feature. Her long, dark hair softly blowing in the breeze. Her porcelain skin gleaming under the stars. A man could get used to coming home to such beauty. He sighed. If only they had met under different circumstances. Her loyalty to her smuggler Thakur and murderous husband wouldn't be a problem. He almost laughed at that last thought. Ranavat was wrong about Khoobusurat aurathein. This one still felt like she belonged to her husband inspite of his treachery.
She saw the hint of a smile as his lips curved. His eyes were focussed on his boots. A part of her wanted to preserve the moment. It was the first time she had seen him smile, however faint it maybe. In her book it counted. She shook herself. What was wrong with her? Why was keeping track of their time together? Because he was the man she was going to marry, a voice whispered in her heart. No, her mind argued. Bholenath will find a way out of this. Her heart spoke up again suggesting that maybe Bholenath wants this life for her. After all he was a good man inspite of his rough manner. She looked at him closely wondering if life with him would be terrible. He wasn't a bad person to live with except when he looses his temper or when he was particular to have his own way. His presence in fact was an assurance that no harm would ever touch her. She smiled thinking how he even pulled her out of her own nightmares.
"You must be feeling better," he remarked seeing a smile grace her face. She nodded and thanked him. "Was it the same dream?" he asked. "Yes, the same one I had in the hospital when..." she stopped remembering how he had held her that night. "When you thought I was trying to hurt you," he completed her sentence. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell and cause a problem," she apologised. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop the grin that threatened to form. "You are a girl. It's exactly how you should react when a strange man is holding you," he conceded. But he wasn't a strange man. He was the one she rolled on the desert sands with. The one who saved her from those horrid goons. She should have realised that he wouldn't hurt her dignity no matter what he thought of her. She averted her eyes, lest he read the confusion in them. He reached out and raised her chin, "I asked a question, I'd like an answer." His move made her look straight into his eyes. The fire in them was different tonight. It wasn't the fire which destroys. It was the fire that warms the soul. She bit his lip realising that his question flew out of her mind. Would he be angry and scold? She liked it best when he was being pleasant to her, inspite of the sense of betrayal that gnawed on her. He was after all the enemy.
"Sometimes it helps to talk, that's why I am asking about your dream," he enquired again. She opened up and told him of her recurrent nightmare that plagued her since adolescence. The logs of the pyre rolling off revealing her mother's face still brought tears to her eyes. The fire that engulfed her father's head still sent shivers down her smile. The vice-like grip of her uncle's hand that held her back still made her furious. The adult Paro knew that it was futile to try and save her parents from the flames. But the child didn't. And she couldn't accept that her parents were no more. "And you still can't let it go," he casually remarked as she completed her account. Fury lashed out of her at his callousness, "They were my parents. They were taken away from me by you and your BSD. You were the ones who torched their bus. You were the ones who destroyed so many lives." And there it was the root of their problem. Tejawat's lies fooling an innocent soul. She had been to made to believe that he was the enemy. The destroyer. The Jallad. He was too tired to argue. Unless he could unmask Tejawat, she will never change her opinion.
"Paro, if you keep holding on to their death, you will not be able to celebrate their lives. I'm sure there are other memories that would be worth remembering," he said. She calmed down and thought about what he said. He was right. There were several happy memories of her childhood. She used to love playing with her dolls and dressing them up. Everyday after her bath, her mother used to dress her up in bright colours and pretty trinkets. Then she used to do the same to her dolls. Her mother used to call her Gudiya Rani because of the way she used to lord over her toys. Her father used to make it a point to buy a new doll everytime he went out of town. "My parents loved me very much Rudra. Even after being shot, my mother held on to the doll till I pried it from her cold hands. I should remember that even death didn't dim their affection for me," she confessed. "Focus on the silver lining. That's how we handle loss in BSD," he replied. She looked on curiously not following what he said. "We face loss of life and limb quite often when we are on a mission. Many a soldier stay in shock until their minds repress all emotions. They go on as usual but have episodes which force the past trauma to their mind again. If you choose to remember the good times and let go of everything else, you will find peace," he explained. His words made sense to her. He saw the gratitude in her eyes. This was a plausible future. The wind blew her hair on his face. He closed his eyes as her scent of wafted into his nose. She gently pushed it off with her fingers trailing his aquiline nose to his rugged jaw. He opened his eyes and was surprised by the tenderness in hers. At that moment, he was just a man sharing a moment with his fiancee. She was the first to break their eye lock. She rubbed her fingers lightly trying to rub off the bruise caused by his facial hair.
"We should go in. I don't want Kakisa to find us together this late like last time," she told him. Rudra smirked, "Why, Paro? We are not doing anything wrong? After all we are to be wed soon." She knew he was teasing so just shook her head and walked towards the door. "Are you hungry? Shall I bring you a snack?" the words flew out before she realised. It hit him by surprise too. Was she beginning to care for him, she wondered. No, he was kind to her tonight and she was just reciprocating. "No, I'm just going to sleep," he said walking towards her. He knew that he didn't have the right to ask her for anything. Regardless of who they pretended to be. "I'll take you back to Sunheri's room," he said holding her hand again.
There was a knock on his door a few minutes after he stepped out of his bathroom."Who is it?" he called out. To his surprise, Paro answered. He swiftly put on his kurta and went to the door, hoping she was fine. She held out a glass of warm milk as he let her in. "You'll sleep better with something in your stomach," she said simply. He took the glass from her. It had been years since someone sent him to bed with a glass of milk. "Good night, Rudra," she said turning to leave. "Sweet dreams, Paro," he called out. They would be, she thought to herself. Even if a certain Jallad decided to show up when she closed her eyes. Even if he trapped her in a circle of fire, she will remain unharmed. After all, she knew his silver lining. Underneath the armour of harsh words and cruel hands, was a kind man who cared
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Health and Fitness
