Why do they always show women 2 b weak?? - Page 2

u r right asdfghjkl. YMLH is just a copy of stupid Ekta Kapoor's serials. 😡

Originally posted by: Zahira

u r right asdfghjkl. YMLH is just a copy of stupid Ekta Kapoor's serials. 😡

YES...AND IT'S DAMN IRRITATING!

yep, it is stupid! it had become totally ridiculous!😡

Lets look at it from Poornima's point of view:

She has no particular ambition in life.. her only aim has been to get married to a good guy and have lots of babies. When she met Milind, BOOM! That's exactly the kinda girl he wanted, so she dosn't look any further. What gives Pooja her confidence to speak up against a wrong? It's her certainty that she can stand on her own two feet one day, she has brains and a good education, she has fought for what she wants and she's getting it. What makes Poornima so submissive? Her utter lack of confidence in her own abilities. The middle-class society they live in is so repressive and regressive that except for Pooja who has learnt to think for herself, all the other females learn only to depend on elders/male head of the households for making their final decisions. She was old enough to sleep with Milind (guilty pleasure without responsibility) but not strong enough to bear the consequences, and can you blame her? Should she have stayed at her parents' place and made them hate her and her unborn child for bringing them 'shame'? If she left home, where would she go? No relatives would take her in. How can a pregnant woman take up a job, support herself, and have a baby so soon? Besides, she has never been career-oriented and would probably get a low-paying clerical job or something that wouldn't even meet their basic needs. She's no Sushmita Sen to be able to afford a child as a single parent. So what does she do? Since she can't die with Milind (God hasn't willed it) she falls back into the old habit of listening to her parents, believing what they say is right. We females might LIKE to think that we're emancipated and capable of running our own lives, but the reality in much of feudal India is very different! So lets not judge Poornima by OUR standards ... can't we just see her for who she is and let her be😊

Originally posted by: queenbee

Lets look at it from Poornima's point of view:

She has no particular ambition in life.. her only aim has been to get married to a good guy and have lots of babies. When she met Milind, BOOM! That's exactly the kinda girl he wanted, so she dosn't look any further. What gives Pooja her confidence to speak up against a wrong? It's her certainty that she can stand on her own two feet one day, she has brains and a good education, she has fought for what she wants and she's getting it. What makes Poornima so submissive? Her utter lack of confidence in her own abilities. The middle-class society they live in is so repressive and regressive that except for Pooja who has learnt to think for herself, all the other females learn only to depend on elders/male head of the households for making their final decisions. She was old enough to sleep with Milind (guilty pleasure without responsibility) but not strong enough to bear the consequences, and can you blame her? Should she have stayed at her parents' place and made them hate her and her unborn child for bringing them 'shame'? If she left home, where would she go? No relatives would take her in. How can a pregnant woman take up a job, support herself, and have a baby so soon? Besides, she has never been career-oriented and would probably get a low-paying clerical job or something that wouldn't even meet their basic needs. She's no Sushmita Sen to be able to afford a child as a single parent. So what does she do? Since she can't die with Milind (God hasn't willed it) she falls back into the old habit of listening to her parents, believing what they say is right. We females might LIKE to think that we're emancipated and capable of running our own lives, but the reality in much of feudal India is very different! So lets not judge Poornima by OUR standards ... can't we just see her for who she is and let her be😊

I agree that Poornima has no ambition in life. Also agree that Pooja has the CAPABILITY to stand on her own two feet someday if she gets her brains back which she hasn't at this time. What I don't get what you mean by 'lets no judge Poornima by our standards?' Whose standards should we judge her by- I think many viewers of the show, esp female ones will agree that she is shown as a hopeless character. There are no two ways around that and how can we see things from her point of view when its clear that she lacks a personality and character of her own- we know her as Rasik and Sudha's daughter, Pooja's sister, Milind's girlfriend, Ronit's wife. We don't know what she thinks or feels so how can see from her point of view. I did feel sorry for her after Milind's death and even when she married Ronit right on the spot. But the fact that she does not even realize that Ronit and Pooja are in love is hard to digest. And its sad sometimes to see characters such as Poornima on-screen even if they reflect reality. Bottomline is this show is about Pooja and her unwillingness to bow down to standards of what others say and expect of her. Now with the focus on Poornima, the show is giving out the wrong messages. Why shouldn't Poornima face the consquences of her actions- she really did get the easy way out with Ronit marrying her. In real life, someone like her would have had to probably deal with the shame and stigma, without family or friends support. So where is the message here? I feel like she lucked out because she got someone to care for her and basically give her a decent life.

That's a good one, sonynyu 👏

A lot of the things u're saying are what I'm saying too... she IS taking the easy way out and she IS lacking in a personality and character of her own. What's worse though, is that she had no idea at all how to get out of the bad situation she was in (same reason, she dosn't think for herself) and can't be pro-active even now, when she's recovering from the trauma and can see things more clearly. She has led a very sheltered life, a happy life, no major ups-and-downs, no goals really to strive for. Wherefrom do you think she will suddenly get the realization that she is a strong, capable person who can make her own decisions?

When they show Poornima to perceive herself as such a helpless character, it in no way detracts from Pooja's strength.. in fact the contrast becomes even more apparent. Poornima is someone who you can either sympathize with (!) or cock a snook at, but you can never aspire to BE like her. She is a victim of her own circumstances and dosn't even realize it. She dosn't take responsibility for her actions. All I am saying is, that its understandable, considering her nature and her upbringing. That dosn't mean it's the right thing to do.. of course it isnt!

As far as 'standards' go, most of us posting on this forum are city-bred educated ppl. Poornima has a simple, small-town mentality - and if you observe the social setup, she does not have the liberties that many of us take so easily for granted. we can't expect her to react the way we would to certain situations... we have advantages and choices that she does not.

as for her 'lucking out', that's hindsight isn't it? at the time, she just did what was expected of her. she lost her fiance the day of her wedding - would you call her lucky? u r assuming that SHE was looking for someone to burden with herself and her baby. i'm contending that she simply dosn't have that kinda mental make-up - she would have done anything her elders begged her to do. Don't you think that if she had the means, she would have preferred to raise the baby on her own? It's always a trade-off between what we want to do.. and what we can do.

Honestly, I think Poornima would have preferred to take her life away in such a circumstance. I don't she's the type of person who would be able to raise the kid on her own- but like you said, maybe if she was more like Pooja- ie. more educated- she might be able to. I understand your point about her mentality- she was raised in such a society that I guess she didn't have much of a choice. I still feel that time was on her side- Milind died and right away she found out she was pregnant. If she wasn't lucky or if time wasnt on her side, she would have found out later when Ronit may not have been there to marry her.