Originally posted by: beckysharp
From what I have been reading, Ru is upset with Ishita and rightly so. But I feel the anger is a little too much for a 7 year old don't you think ?
I am going to play Ruhi' adv. here and so Nope...it's not too much for a 7 year old girl. Ruhi's anger comes from the feeling of abandonment and to feel that when she thought otherwise, believed otherwise is not a good feeling . If she had the basic understanding of the situation, or was a little older maybe I would have have felt otherwise but the point where Ruhi is right now; her actions, her pain, her anger is the only thing justified in the show.
Yes, she had a lot of expectations from her Ishima, n she felt let down. But when she sees her ill she does not go to her ? Which child would shun her mother, even if she is extremely angry, when the mother is sick ? I refuse to believe any 7 year old so so hard hearted n angry, that she will not comfort her sick mother.
Right now Ruhi's (who is just a 7 year old child) mind is too Fragile to comprehend anything, to process anything except that her mother hurt her. She does not possess the ability to think like others. Yes, we have seen Ruhi come across as more mature than most of the characters in the show including Raman and Ishita...but you are missing the point here...It was not just plain let down here...she felt abandoned and honestly they did abandon her. Abandoned by the one person who said she would never do that. Ruhi has expressed her insecurities about Ishita leaving her; like her biological mother did both to Ishita and Raman several times...when Raman and Ishita used to fight her immediate concern was would Ishita leave her? She was always convinced, assured that it would never happen but here the rejection came when she was SURE that it would never happen.
You can see Ruhi's internal struggle and the depth of her love for Ishita...but sadly betrayal is the one emotion that pulls the same reaction from a 7 year old and a 70 year old. When Ruhi is not with Ishita; Recent examples : Having soup and remembering how Ishita was the one who taught her the trick of the trade; seeing herself decked up wearing make-up and being sure how annoyed Ishita will be all highlight her love for her mother but when she comes face to face with Ishita the TRUTH hits her hard...that fact that her mother said she does not want her takes over the heart and mind. You think if somebody else told her that Ishita does not like her, does not want her she would believe? Nope, but here she heard it directly from the horses mouth. Can you blame her? I definitely can't because it was Ishita of all people who pushed her to that point.
She is ok with Raman n not with Ishita ? Why ? Did Raman not publicly push her away when the Tamil association had felicitated Ishita ? When he thought she was Ashok's daughter ?
Do you remember Ruhi's admission after Raman publicly pushed Ruhi at the function? She admits to Ishita "Mujhe Papa ache nahi lagte". and then goes on to admit to her dadi that "Mujhe unse darr lagta hai dadi" Just imagine how broken that little one would have been to admit that she does not like her father and is scared of him; when in her little world she is sure that she has done nothing wrong ever to upset him or make him angry but he still treats her bad? Ruhi loves Raman, she never had a mom unlike other kids and even if that hurt her she knew her papa was there...but then the vibe she always got from him was of anger, dislike etc. We know what the truth was... Raman knows, his family knows but Ruhi never knew the truth, why her father was so distant... but it was still OK...But to admit that she does not like her Papa that was the outcry of a little girl who loved her papa but never got that love in return no matter what she did.
It all change when Ishita came...It was Ishita who bridged that gap between them...First she unintentionally did it when on an impulse made a public spectacle of how bad a father Raman was thus forcing Ruhi to go with Shagun which led to Raman realizing in depth what Ruhi meant to him..Sure he loved her, even if he never expressed it, showed it... but Ishita's impulsive act and the consequence of the same was what forced him to react, feel the loss, the pain when his little angel was taken away. Rememver Bhalla Ji's admission "Apni bachi ke liye aasoon baha raha hai? Aaj tujhe baap hone ka ehsaas hua ha ".
And then subsequently when Ishita came into their lives she went ahead and cleared of any doubt that Ruhi had and during the DNA track she cleared of every nagging thoughts that Raman had about Ruhi being his daughter and permanently sealed the father-daughter relationship which was always there but needed a little magic touch-Her touch. Ishita was the fixer, always the fixer for everybody including Ruhi but her she wasn't the fixer but the breaker.
Isn't this perpetuating the thought that since Raman is the biological parent she will forgive him, but not Ishita,? After all she is the step-mother. Yes, she is hurt, yes she feels abandoned, I will give all that. But no 7 year old is so harsh that she rejects the woman who she considers her mother. I refuse to believe that the Ru, who despite constant rejection from Raman would run to him, and say I love you, would so suddenly turn against Ishita in a blink of an eye without even talking to her.
I don't see it as perpetuating the thought that since Raman is the biological parent she will forgive him, but not Ishita. Raman's rejection, his lack of expressing his love for Ruhi has never affected Ruhi the way Ishita's words and actions does. By no means am I saying that it does not matter to Ruhi at all, IT VERY MUCH DOES. Raman is as important to her as Ishita but its' the rejection from Ishita's side breaks her heart and spirit like nobody else does.
Remember the first Kanjak Puja? When Pooja asks Ishita about the time when Ishita was pregnant with Ruhi unaware of the truth that Ishita wasn't Ruhi's biological mother...with a heavy heart Ishita explains to Pooja what the truth was but she is immediately hit with Ruhi's words who corrects Ishita and sets the record straight that she was her daughter. But the pain was too much for Ruhi that even if what Ishita said was the cruel truth ... it hurt her so much and she decided that she wouldn't talk to Ishita. Remember their conversation during the scene? Especially Ruhi's lines when Ishita goes to pacify Ruhi "Papa ghusse mein kuch bhi bolte hai, apne bhi kuch bhi bol diya...Socha bhi nahi. Aaj Ruhi aapse bohat ghussa hai..aap ne papa jaise behave kiya"... Basically she compares Ishita with Raman...and where she has come to terms with the fact that her Papa has said some things and does so when he is angry; she finds it hard to accept the same when it comes from Ishita even when all that Ishita said was nothing but the truth. Ishita had to convince Ruhi to forgive her, accept that what she said was not right (Even if it was) and that she was sorry. So for Ruhi- Ishita's words, her actions and inaction's are what matters the most...Raman does matter too but in the depths of her heart and in her mind Ishita has the power to break or make her...just like in Ishita case it is Ru who has the power to make or break her.
@ Bold underlined- Ruhi does not consider Ishita her mother...Ishita is her mother. And that is why it hurts her too much. For the world Ishita is Ruhi's step-mother, for Ishita, Raman and the rest of their family Iyers and Bhalla's - Ishita is Ruhi's mother but they still know deep down the glaring truth that Ishita did not give birth to Ruhi. However in Ruhi's case, from where she sees, in her world Ishita IS her mother. PERIOD...there is no additional truths, or added facts nothing. And Ruhi proves it the first time when she shut Bala's Mom up. She claimed Ishita that day when she said "Aapko dikhta nahi, meri mumma baanjh nahi hai. Main hoon na unki beti" and then turns to look at Ishita and says 'Yeh Meri Mumma Hai".... The Ishita who used to silently hear the taunts till that day was ready to walk away yet again but that day Ruhi turned her entire world upside down for Ishita - "Ishima bolo na ki aap banjh nahi ho" and finally Ishita says those words for the first time in her life "Main baanjh nahi hoon".
When Ruhi comes to know that Ishita was going to be her mother, she for the first time calls Ishita - Ishita Mumma. The court had given Ruhi's custody to her nayi maa - Ishita Raman Bhalla...Ishita had become Ruhi's mother in so many ways but it was this moment when her daughter fought the world who ridiculed her mother by calling her a baanjh, the moment Ishita admits to herself and the world that she isn't a baanjh when Ishita truly became Ruhi's mother.
"A woman gives birth to a child, but a child gives birth to a mother" and that is what we see her. Ruhi is who gave birth to "Ishima". And since then Ruhi has always stood up for Ishita, fought for her and the one time she wanted Ishita to fight for her, Ishita lets go even without a fight. For somebody as young as Ruhi - there isn't even a scope of giving Ishita the benefit of the doubt because she is too young to assess the problem. Hell, the adults of the show have no clue as to what is happening and how long it's going to be before they see the light at the end of the tunnel...and ye toh chotti si ek bachi hai. And no matter how hard Ru tries and thinks she can never understand why her mother did not fight for her. Haan if somebody explains to her then it may sting her a less little and she will eventually get it; but it the sting will always be there.
I know a lot of people will disagree with me. I know people think Ru's anger is justified. To some extent absolutely. But not to the extent that Ru completely disowns the woman who gave her the family feeling. The woman who gave her the love of a mother that she lacked in her life.
I am sure we all can agree to disagree I don't think Ruhi has disowned Ishita in any way, if she did she wouldn't go ahead and give her little hands as support when Ishita fell down in yesterday's episode. Ishita still matters a lot to Ruhi and that is why her anger is fully justified because the woman who gave her the family feeling, who filled every void she ever felt when he biological mother left her, the one who promised to always protect her is the one who snatched it away from her. There is no fathoming the pain and hurt here.
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