i have written a cracky faltu drabble so tia i apologize for posting it right after your awesome meaningful one...but i want to post it before the interview so here it is.
T: EXCUSE ME DON'T CALL ME CHUDAIL
P: Madam Chudail
T: That's better
P: Madam Chudail I need to talk to you about something very important
T: Forget it behenji I'm not gonna leave your husband don't waste your breath
P: Listen Madam Chudail I heard you wanna marry HIM, and I just wanna ask, ARE YOU CRAZY? I mean have you seen how he treats his wife why would you want that!
T: It's just you behenji he wouldn't treat me that way
P: No no it's his default programming. He has this mode called "biwi management" and I'm telling you it's brutal stuff
T: You're lying
P: Tell you what you come live with us undercover for a week
T: UMMM
P: You'll see naa. Half the time he forgets I'm me and just acts on auto-pilot as "awful serial Pati." It's like he's being controlled by a writer's room or something
T: I don't trust you
P: That's because you're very smart.
T: Thank you.
P: But if you were smarter you would listen. HE is a terrible husband for anyone seriously.
T: Listen behenji I know you are khatternak I'm not gonna fall for your tricks
P: I'm telling you just come live behind our curtain for a week you'll see everything
T: What kind of wife are you inviting your sautan to share your room like that!
P: LOL you called yourself sautan.
T: KHATTERNAK
P: Madam Chudail seriously I'm saying this for the greater good. I'm already stuck with him but your bhagya could be free. Just enjoy being his girlfriend naa, all the benefits none of the hassle.
T: Are you...are you ok? Do you know what you're saying?
P: Well I'm not supposed to tell you this Madam Chudail but -
T: What???
P: I have an auto-programmed mode too. It is called "mahaan patni" and it is the reason you never have to fear for your man around me.
T: Oh!! Is that what it is! I thought you were just strangely spineless.
P: I'll never do anything to get between you.
T: That's a relief.
P: So you just be your clingy witchy self, and you'll be fine. Stop asking him to marry you and you won't push him away.
T: You...kind of have a point.
P: Just looking out for my best girl.
T: Your best...what?
P: See Chudail - sorry, Madam Chudail - as long as he has you to distract himself with, I only get hassled by him like 80% of the time. I need the remaining 20% of my time to cling onto my sanity.
T: Really? I thought you had embraced mahaan patni mode.
P: Well actually I'm plotting my escape but it's taking a long time because 4 out of every 5 seconds is devoted to HIM
T: Escape??
P: I can't tell you about that.
T: But but
P: You just keep on keepin' on alright? Just quit the proposal stuff.
T: ...Can I still live behind your curtain for a week?
P: sure
*A WEEK LATER*
T: OMG YOU WERE RIGHT
P: Of course
T: The way he was with that coffee! Such nakhres! I don't know how you stand it
P: Auto-program
T: And how he made you exercise with him! UFF! He's like the worst personal trainer ever
P: Things you never know about your boyfriend until you live behind his curtain, amirite?
T: And the way he expected you to know every little thing about what everyone in his family was doing every day!
P: He's a tyrant.
T: You're like an encyclopedia, behenji I hate to admit it but I am impressed. This week was exhausting. And you do this all the time!
P: Yep.
T: You know I think maybe I don't want to be his girlfriend anymore either. This auto program mode scares me.
P: I knew you were smart Madam Chudail.
T: But is there any hope? Do all men have this auto pati mode??
P: Well what you want Madam Chudail is a man who is used to service
T: I don't get you
P: Someone whose life's work is service will be devoted to you, not himself
T: You mean like a servant???
P: Madam Chudail, look at the silver lining. You could marry a rockstar and be his servant, or you could marry a servant and be his rockstar.
T: Well when you put it like that...
P: I hear Ramu Kaka is single
T: Well actually I was thinking Robin...
P: MADAM CHUDAIL. That is cradle robbing. That is not even legal. Don't EVEN go there, do you get me?
T: Right right I guess I better go poach on other territory.
P: Yeah, you do that.
T: Thanks...thanks behenji. You've saved me from a terrible fate.
P: Anytime.
T: I would say you should save yourself but actually I still don't like you.
P: The feeling is mutual.
T: Goodbye forever.
P: Have a nice life.
*MADAM CHUDAIL FLIES AWAY LIKE A BAT*
*FUGGY FLIES TO ROCKSTAR LIKE A BUTTERFLY*
*ROCKSTAR CATCHES FUGGY*
A: Your plan worked!! My Fuggy is a genius!
P: And you lost the bet AND your Madam Chudail. So you better pay up.
A: One week of service...well listen can we redefine the terms of service?
P: What did you have in mind
A: Well I could make your coffee and all that rot but how about instead *whispers*
P: *blushes* Interesting. But technically that is duty, not service.
A: What???
P: You have a lot to learn about pati mode.
A: I...guess you'd better start teaching me?
P: Go run me a hot bath first, I need to recover from a week of being shadowed by the bat.
A: Do I get to join you in this bath?
P: Maybe.
THE END
sorry mina is nuts but you all already knew that :P
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