Parud SS - RR Tidbits 5 on page 23 - Page 14

Originally posted by: KhushiParo

RR Tidbits - 4

There was nothing more for him to do at the BSD office.

Medals removed. Check

Badge removed. Check

Belt with gun removed. Check

Cap removed. Check

Pride removed. Check

Love of life removed. Check

The last bit of trust in God - removed. Check

He rushed out of the office. And did something which he seldom does. Started drinking alone. Oh, he had grown up seeing his father drinking and blabbering every night. Alone. He had decided never to repeat that. Once you start drinking alone - there is no limit. No time. No control. It goes on and on. Rudra had been taking drinks almost every night for years now. But he always made sure he had company. That ensured that he stayed within limits. He knew he had no control on his tongue once he started drinking. And the presence of company made him alert. Alert to the amount of the brown liquid which he gulped down.

But today was a special day. The worst day of his adulthood. He can have this luxury of drinking alone. Right ? Flashes of Paro passed in front of his eyes. Her proposal, her challenge that neither can he let her go nor will she go away from him. Her agreeing to stand on one leg to prove her love. And her proving her love - standing in the rain. And then came the words of Singh Sir. How Rudra has to set right the wrong.

Wrong indeed. He had never been so shocked and surprised in his life. Though it was Paro who talked about destiny in front of 300 people, it was Rudra who came face to face with his destiny. The girl whom he had carried in his heart for years. The girl who gave away her doll to him. The only act of kindness he had witnessed all these years. That girl was Paro. And she was standing there explaining why she gave the doll to him. If only she had asked him he would have replied. It is his Bhagya that she gave him the doll. The doll which held his broken pieces of heart together. The doll which was the balm to the wound is his heart - for all these years. He extended his hand to touch her. To hug her. And then realized that they had an audience. A big one at that. With cameras and video. Bewakoof Ladki. Why couldn't she come to him when he was alone and explained this ? She could have waited for just five more minutes. And their lives would have been so different. But no. She had to propose in front of everybody.

Rudra pulled his thoughts back and tried to concentrate at the moment. He had only taken a couple of sips of whisky. It was high time he stopped drinking. And started thinking of the next steps. And for his brain to work he had to get rid of the liquid in hand. What better way other than pour it over himself...And he did just that. Watched the alcohol wet and burn his moustache, his lips, his chain and his favorite jacket.

Rudra believed that innocent girl in the bus. But not this beautiful girl Paro. He could not believe that Paro is ready to go till the end of the earth with him. That she is ready to do any penance for him. How can a person who hated him, who admired his enemy, for years suddenly change her stance ? Can love happen in a day ? She never mentioned the doll or the boy before the felicitation ceremony. He was sure she never remembered the boy after that day. Even when he held out the Kumkum to her and said , " Shaadi Karni Hai " first time she did not say yes. He had deliberately left out Sumer's name. But her eyes did not light up with happiness. Or love for that matter. Didn't she have the same expression when he repeated it after a minute and added "Sumer Se" Which means she had no feelings. No passion, no madness, no nothing. From the minute Rudra had met Paro in that jeep he had fallen for her. In all respects. His eyes had reflected the pain he felt when he came to know that she is going to be married. Yes he did love that innocent girl. But even before knowing that Paro is the same - he had fallen in love. He is not a man of words. But hadn't he shown his love through his actions ? By protecting her always ? By holding her every time she fell ? By running to her to wash away the poison on the Haldi day ? While searching for her on the Sangeet day like a mad man when she was away for five minutes ? Wasn't he the one who took care of her foot when she got hurt ? Didn't he take care of her with so much tenderness ? Hasn't he looked at her eyes with all the love in the world ? Touched her many times to intimidate her only to lose himself in her eyes and beauty ? Hasn't he shown all the colors of love to Paro ? Hasn't he already been her Rangrasiya ?

And has she ever responded in that same manner? No. Maybe once or twice but she was never attracted to him the way he was to her. She never talked about love till the ceremony day. And now all she can say is about respect and destiny. Will she decide that her destiny has changed if she gets some other sign from her Bholenath ? How can he believe that she will not leave him and go away a few months down the lane ? If she does what will happen to him? And his poor heart which has already suffered enough. Paro through her act of kindness in the bus helped him to stay sane in the aftermath of his mother's treachery. If Paro leaves him tomorrow who will take care of him?

He has to protect himself and his heart. He has to shield himself from the possible future pain.

He took a deep breath. And looked at his options. There was only one solution to this whole mess. That he get married to Paro. Then he will get what he always wanted. To be with Paro till death do them apart. She will get what she said she wanted - though Rudra was not completely convinced about the same. And BSD will get what they want. Pride restored. Yes he has to get married to her. And he has to do it in such a way that others will think he is doing out of hatred. Paro herself has to believe that he is marrying her out of anger. That way he can still keep his heart from further agony. And he can also find out to what length she is ready to go. She has said she is ready to do any penance to be with him. To convince him. He will try his best to break her. And then if she leaves - he will accept that she was not meant to be with him anyway.

And if she stays

- and she did ask how can a wife leave her husband's house didn't she ? -

he will be sure that he can trust her to be his soul mate.

That she will never leave him. Not after 15 years. Not after 50 years. And hoping that you do not break and hoping that you will never leave me - here I come Paro.

He loves her madly. He trusts his love for her is the one. But he does not have enough trust in her love.

She says she loves him. She says she trusts her Bhagya. She says she is ready to do anything.

Both of them need to go through this test.

Parooo Here I come...

"Dark Side"

Oh Oh Oh, there's a place that I know

It's not pretty there and few have ever gone

If I show it to you now

Will it make you run away?

Or will you stay

Even if it hurts

Even if I try to push you out

Will you return?

And remind me who I really am

Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

***************************************

Covering from 5:30 minutes till 6:36 minutes of the same video

Originally posted by: Meenakshi15

I am here JJ
But why tidbit is so long
Will be back after reading it ...
Edited
Beautiful update
From where do you get these many thoughts JJ
Each and every time you amazes me with your beautiful write up..
You explained rudra's feeling very well

Originally posted by: believe77

Thanks for mentioning in Mano's post otherwise I would have missed this tidbit update. You my friend have a way with words, a truly gifted writer.👏 In every tidbit you capture Rudra's state of mind so accurately. This was one of the heart breaking sequence of RR...





now that you have spoiled us with your writing, I am waiting for story update...