Today's date deserves to be written and underlined with a bold marker in her Dolly-Ji, i.e. her beloved diary, Khushi Ku...Khushi Arnav Singh Raizada decided in her mind. Today is the day when she truly learned the meaning of Ek teer se do shikaar. Not only she was putting her plan to pay back that khadoos whom the world called her husband into action, but she was truly enjoying the skit they were playing. She was already having so much fun deciding the dresses, the props, the stage...sigh!!! Life can't get any better, our KASR thought with a soft smile on her lips.
ASR was not sure if he should feel smug or angry, so he had decided to keep his expressions neutral. But his brain who was accustomed of taking decisions wasn't letting him be in peace. I should be happy, she has herself fell into my lap...errr...trap for me to show her for once and all that it is me who is in control of this household. She can charm his whole family on her side (including the Prakashs and the goat), but it is him who carries the real power. But it wasn't happening the way he wanted it to. He didn't want to even be seen in the proximity of that ridiculous shop, for god's sake. Well, he will make sure that this trip is worth it, he decided in his mind with a smug smile on his lips.
Behano, all of you must be wondering that I have lost my mind during this long sabbatical of a year, for I have forgotten to mention what is happening. Fear not for disappearance of my sane-ness sisters (for it never actually existed), I am now describing the events which took place preceding this mental self-conversation of our hero and heroine. Hua ye that when ASR bellowed out with a mostly angry voice with a little bits of panic that morning, demanding to know what was happening, he was filled in with details of a "Best Family of The Year" contest, in which the Raizada women had decided to participate. They had settled upon the idea of a skit based on Mughal-E-Azam and they were very keen on doing everything to make sure it was a success. So, the Raizada men were told to cooperate, and Akash and Mahinder Raizada knew enough about their family to accept that demand without question. As for Arnav, he had muttered a bewildered "What the..." and proceeded to his room to get ready for his morning run.
It was while he was going through the tedious process of tying a perfect Windsor knot that his mind had realized this occasion as the perfect opportunity to show his lakhnavi wife who was the real power-house in the Raizada household. As the plan kept forming in his mind, he grew more and more confident. So when a task was assigned to him via a stern order from Anjali Di (No more cheek caressing and coaxing with big innocent eyes for poor chhote), he accepted it with very much reluctance due to the nature of task assigned but was able to convince himself that he was doing it all as a part of plan. The task was very simple and yet very irritating for him- him and Khushi had to go and rent the necessary dresses , jewellery and props required for the skit. Not that he knew, that it was indeed all a part of plan, just not his or shall I say, not only his plan. Our KASR was also very much onto the successful completion of part two of her "Akdoo-Singh Ki akad nikaalo" plan.
Khushi was very harshly pulled back into the reality of chandni chowk's bustling market from her victory-laden dreamland, when her husband braked hard to stop himself from crashing himself into a pedestrian. And here I come Mr. ASR ki akad, Khushi smothered a grin at the thought and got down at the same time as her husband of almost three months.
"Can't believe I am here!!!" muttered ASR.
"Agar aap kahein to hum chutki kaat kar aapko vishwaas dila sakte hain."(I can help you believe by pinching you) Khushi offered in all her innocent seriousness and received a glare in return. So much for bhalai ka zamana.
"Ab yahin khadi rahogi ya chalogi? Mere paas poora din nahin hai tumhare liye" (Now walk damnit. I don't have whole day for you) ASR snapped and started moving towards the rental shop. If KASR could strangle him at that moment she would have most likely done that in the moment, but sadly she couldn't, so she kept her mouth shut and followed Arnav to the shop. Soon, Arnav Singh Raizada, soon you will sulk and cry and I will gloat and dance - these were her exact thoughts at the time.
Hence began the tedious process of choosing between many colorful costumes and jewellery available at the shop. Khushi promptly chose a golden and red anarkali dress and a cap with a feather for Anarkali's role, two black frock type costumes for guards, a few costumes in different colors for darbaris, costumes for helpers, a royal angrakhi type-frock suit for Akbar's role, a similar but less fashionable one for Saleem, required jewellery etc. All this while Arnav kept himself busy with his phone calls and emails, time to time checking on his wife and sighing irritatingly without fail. When the turn came for makeup, Khushi decided that it was time for her to put her plan in action.
"Arnav Ji!!! Suniye!!! Hamein aapki madad ki zaroorat hai." (ArnavJi!!! Listen!!! I need your help) Khushi ensured that her best puppy dog expression was in place.
"What now?" ASR made sure his haughtiness was visible.
" Kapde to hum dekh lenge, par moonche aapko laga kar dekhni padegi" (I will manage the costumes, but you have to help me with the mustaches) No, not even an ounce of mischief and glee in her voice could be heard.
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?? What made you think I will do that??" this time it was ASR who was ready to strangle the other party in conversation.
"Arnavji, agar humarae daadhi moonch hote to hum sach mein aapko pareshaan nahi karte, Devi maiyya ki kasam! Par kya hai na...aap to jaante hain ki humein to moonche aane se rahi!! Ab ye to aap hi zyada ache se bata payenge na, ki kis tarah ki moonche zyada raubeeli lagengi,kismein saleem ki roomani shaksiyat jhalak payegi, kaunsi moonche darbariyo ke hisaab se jachengi aur kaunsi moonche dekh kar ye pata chalega ki ye jhuki-jhuki si moonche sirf raja ke naukro ki ho sakti hain, haina!!! Agar humpar chhoda to hum saleem ji ke liye nathulaal ji jaisi moonche chun lenge aur hamein pata bhi nai chalega. Fir jab hum ghar jaenge to humein daant padegi, daant padegi to hum Anjali ji ko bataenge ki humen mooncho ke bare mein kuch nai pata. Fir Anjali ji aapko dekhkar bolengi ki aapko to pata tha, aapne kyu nahi ki hamari madad, jab issi kaam ke liye aapko bheja gaya tha. Fir Anjali ji ki daant khaakar aap gussa ho jaenge aur aap gussa honge to hamein bilkul bhi achha nahi lagega. Fir hum Anjali ji se aapki sifarish karenge ki wo aapko ek aur mauka de, aur wo hain hi itni achhi ki wo maan jaengi aur aapko fir se sahi moonche lane ke liye bhejengi. Par is sab mein bohat der ho jaegi.To aap der mat lagaiye, jaldi se moonche lagaiye , tab tak hum aisa karte hain anarkali ke kapde pehan kar dekh lete hain ki humein sahi se aa rahe hain ya nahin, theek hai!" (Arnavji, If I had been dealing with mustaches on my own then I would have spared you, Devi Maiyya Promise. But as you know that I don't have mustaches, now only you can help in deciding which mustaches will suit the royal arrogance of Akbar, which will help in romanticizing Saleem's persona and which angle of depression for mustaches will make sure that they belong to the royal helpers. If left on me, I would choose nathulaal type mustaches for Saleem and wouldn't even know. If that happens, I will surely get scolded at home. When I will excuse myself by saying that I don't have any experience with mustaches, then AnjaliJi will scold you and ask why didn't you help me when you were sent specially for the purpose. I know you will feel bad then and I won't like to see you sulking, so I will request Anjaliji to give you one more chance. And as she has a very generous heart, she will agree at once and will send you again to bring the correct mustaches. But all these happenings will waste a lot of time. So you better try mustaches now only. Meanwhile I will go and try my Anarkali costume) Khushi had started walking towards the changing room already and her monologue ended with the slam of closing door.
"UnBelievable" was the only word heard from ASR's mouth for a while.
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