To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I never knew Virat had another brother who was probably in his early twenties by now. Maybe even married. It was shocking. "You have an elder brother?"
"Yes."
"What's his name?" I asked, again. The questions were just tumbling out of my mouth and I had no control on them.
"Nikhil," he replied with a distant look in his eyes. I decided to drop the next question I was going to ask and looked at the other paintings. One large painting caught my eye. It was beautiful, better than the previous one. But... it was disturbing. Scary. It was black, fire everywhere as trees were burning. There was a shack which too was on fire. There wasn't something right in the painting. It was so wonderful that I wanted to keep it but... no it was wrong. There was something wrong in it. As if the painter was filled with dark thoughts. As if he couldn't see the brighter side and instead let himself drown in melancholy. It wasn't just a painting... it depicted the painful side of life. That painting was a nightmare.
"Why would you have a painting like that in your room?" I thundered him with another question. The painting was unsettling.. it made goosebumps creep on my body.
"That's the last one I ever painted," he said nonchalantly. My jaw dropped as I stared at him wide-mouthed.
"T-those paintings. You painted those?" I stammered. "I thought you said you didn't paint anymore."
"And that's right. I don't paint anymore. I painted the last painting, which you seem to hate so much, when I was about 11 years old." He shrugged as if it was nothing. I opened my mouth but closed it again. "Unbelievable," I muttered.
He chuckled though it didn't reach his eyes. "Oh you know so little about me, Peaches."
I ignored his comment and looked around again. My eyes landed on the wall at the corner of the room. The wall seemed to be full of photographs. I walked to have a look at the pictures as Virat sat down on a chair, looking at my actions. There was a picture of him with his brother, Nikhil. It seemed to be the same one he painted. Just beside it was a picture in which a girl was kissing Virat's forehead. She looked pretty with her long dark brown hair and a curvy body.
"Who's that?"
"Leah," he said, looking at the picture. I raised my eyebrows, asking for an explanation. "She's Nikhil's girlfriend."
Oh. So Nikhil wasn't married yet. "But why is she kissing you?" I asked but then feeling stupid. Why did I have to ask him that? God, I'm going crazy. He laughed loudly and then a smirk replaced his smile. "I didn't think of you as the jealous type, Peaches."
I scoffed. "I'm not jealous."
Maybe that was a lie. A complete lie.
I was just about to turn when my eyes caught someone in one of the pictures. Everyone was in it - Jeevika, Virat, Nikhil, Leah, but it wasn't them in the photo which disturbed me. It was him, standing with his arms around Virat. My hands trembled as I took in the picture. I couldn't have been mistaken because I had seen his childhood pictures before. No, I was definitely not mistaken because my eyes landed on another picture of him with Katheryn.
I didn't know what I was feeling. It was a mixture of emotions. I was feeling curious as to how Virat knew him but I couldn't forget my anger towards him. How heartbroken I was when the incident happened. Tears threatened to come out of my eyes as I tried to blink them away but I must have failed because Virat came walking towards me, taking my trembling hands in his.
"Peaches, are you alright?" He asked, his eyes full of concern for me. "What happened?"
I took in deep breaths trying to calm myself but I failed. I couldn't breathe now. The panic attacks had stopped coming and I was really thankful but now I could see the beginning of one. The photo triggered memories I had tried to buried last year. Almost succeeded but here I was now - back to square one. I didn't know what was happening, I just knew that I was in his arms, feeling the warmth of his body. His hands were rubbing my back in a soothing way. I calmed down after what seemed like hours. Slowly, I broke apart and wiped my tears away. "I'm sorry," I muttered, averting my gaze from his, not wanting to meet his eyes. He probably thought I was a freak.
"I don't think you're a freak," he said.
Shit! Did I say that out loud?
"Yes, you did." I heard him sigh and he finally walked towards me holding a glass of water. "Here. Drink up."
I quietly drank the water, quenching my thirst, and sat down on the bed. "Should I call Kara?" He asked.
"Are you mad? Mum will be so worried that she'll drag me to the doctor!!" I cried out. "I haven't been having those attacks for months. No. Don't you dare tell her anything." I rubbed my temples, trying to lessen the headache I was having. "I won't," he replied after a while. "Wanna tell me why you acted like that after you saw the photo?"
I don't know why but I felt like talking to him about it. I felt I could count on him. My feelings had been bottled up for quite a long time and I wanted to let it all out. So, with a shaky humourless laugh, I felt myself talking. "I don't know why I'm telling you this but I've been with you quite sometime to know that I can trust you. You know that guy in the photo I was staring at?"
"Jake?" His body had become stiff as he mentioned his name. I don't know why but he seemed uncomfortable talking about him. I nodded. "Jake. The beginning of the junior year, I developed a huge crush on him. How, when, why... I don't know. I just know that he asked me out after a month or so. I didn't know why he asked me out. He knew nothing about me but he claimed he loved me. Me? I liked him. I wasn't sure if I loved him. We started dating... everything was fine. I thought I was falling in love with him. Badly. Then came the end of junior year party. After Sophie and Jake forced me, I finally agreed I would go. But do you know what I saw when I entered the party? Jake was making out with Heather. He wasn't drunk. He was sober yet he was kissing her when he claimed to love me. What was I supposed to do? I was heartbroken. He saw me looking and he tried to apologize. To convince me to give him another chance. I refused, not wanting to trust him anymore. I guess I didn't take the heartbreak so badly at first. After sometime, though, it started killing me slowly. I seemed to be in my own world. I thought he loved me. He treated me like a princess, he made me feel good about myself. It was all pretense. I was being used. Katheryn, his twin sister, treated me like a dirt bag in school. She hit me too when she came to know that I didn't forgive his brother. I think she was crazy. But then again we weren't friends either when Jake and I had been dating. I let Katheryn bully me but I couldn't take it anymore and I kind of fought back. With words, of course. Everything was fine because they moved out of town. I was happy because I could finally forget them. I also got over the heartbreak but then Dad left and I found myself crumbling into pieces again. That's when the panic attacks started. They had stopped and now when I saw the photo... the memories kind of came back to me. I couldn't handle it anymore... and that's the end of my sob story," I finished, trying to lighten the mood a bit but I failed. Before I knew it, I was enveloped in another hug.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know," he muttered. "He's not here anymore."
"But he'll be back," I whispered pulling away even though I didn't want to. He was warm and his scent intoxicated me. It just seemed right to be in his arms.
He frowned slightly. "I know that. It doesn't mean you have to talk to him or look at him. He's just a jerk." He held that angry look now. I knew they were friends. Those pictures were evidence and then they both had been in the football team together. Virat called him a jerk because of me. I couldn't let that happen.
"You're calling your friend a jerk? Just because of what he did to me?" I asked, shaking my head. "No way. You cannot do that."
He ran his hand through his hair. He seemed to do that a lot. The same scent that always hypnotized me was overwhelming in his room. It was so addictive. "We were friends. But everything ended a long time ago because of him. I don't care about him anymore."
I let the matter go because I didn't want to pressurize him anymore about it. "So are you ever going to paint again?" I asked, changing the topic and looking at the blank canvas.
"I don't know." He sighed, his face still contorted in a frown.
It was time we did what we came here for. "So let's get on with the chemistry project and then maybe it will be time for dinner," I said. "I'm starving."
He laughed, his eyes twinkling. "Why are you always starving, Peaches?"
I didn't want to argue with him on that one. Things should always go like this... he should be laughing.
For once in hours, we both were happy, forgetting everything we had in our minds. "You should laugh often, Virat," I muttered, not loud enough for him to hear.
* * * *
Author's Note
Hey!
Thanks a ton for the wonderful comments. Made my day :)
By the way, I downloaded the deluxe edition of 1989 album by Taylor Swift. Okay, I'm not obsessed with Taylor Swift anymore. I used to be. At first, I did not like 1989 at all but when I heard those songs all over again, I realized it's actually very nice. It is amazing! Very different from her previous albums. I guess I like this one more than Red. So yeah! Has anyone else bought 1989?
Love,
Stella
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
CID
193