Posted:
I rarely post anything anymore, but today I wished to share some thoughts with you all. With the forum justifiably erupting into a volcano of emotions, I have written something about Ishra from the psychological angle, discussing the trajectory of their growth.
Although the current track is rather unpopular, primarily because of Ishita's obtuseness regarding the cause of Raman's anger, the CVs of YHM have proved once again that human relationships are complex, not only because of the complexities of the personalities involved, but also because the people participating in the relationship are not static beings, but are growing, sometimes even due to the relationship. If we take a step back from seeing the entire situation in black and white, from trying to decipher who is right and who is wrong, there is a lot of undercurrent material that lends itself to a profound story of two insecure individuals although brought together by circumstances, are unaware that they transcended the very exigencies of the situation (Ruhi) that brought them together, but are yet to understand how to relate to each other.
Ishita:
For a long time after the marriage, Ishita was in denial about Raman's thoughtless acts arising from the hurt of his first marriage. No matter how much Raman would insult her, Ishita would bounce back very quickly and act as though everything was normal, leaving the forum vaasis to wonder what was wrong with her. It was not that Ishita was being too mahan or forgiving, as some of us mused; rather the denial was her coping mechanism through which she could continue staying in the marriage. We saw this resilience after every mishap, be it the holi dance, or the Pervmeet track. Denial is Ishita's comfort zone or has been till recently. Therefore, she is unable to see that her husband is crazily smitten with her. Unable or unwilling? Perhaps both. Unable because of her denial, unwilling because she then has to let go of the hurt of her past of not being wanted due to her infertility.
With the Mani track, we suddenly see Ishita, more confident of herself, more willing to stand up for herself and her rights. We see her less willing to compromise, less willing to give in, a development that saw its culmination in yesterday's episode. Is this development is a result of her increasing comfort with Raman --finally Ishita is feeling safe enough in the relationship to feel unsafe? Or it is new boost in her confidence the result of Mani's reentry into her life? Perhaps it is a bit of both. Regardless, for a people-pleasing person like Ishita, although painful, this is a much needed growth spurt.
I do not fault Ishita for having a male friend. Ishita has always been the kind of person for whom it is easier to get along with, and confide, in men rather than women. We have seen this in the special bond she shares with her father, with Mr Bhalla, and with Bala. I do however think that her dalliance with seeing a jealous Raman has had dangerous consequences. The reason for Ishita's heavy dependence on Mani (other than for the CVs to drag this track along), is because perhaps the greatest thing that she misses with Raman is what Mani gives her very easily: a kind of a companionship for Ishita's samaj-seva instincts, where she can go help people she loves, where she is not challenged. Rather than being a friend, Mani is more of a yes-man, a personal super genie of sorts with riches and contacts who can make things happen the way Ishita wants them to happen, be it solving the Romy-Sarika fiasco, or retaining her husband's business tycoon title. The reason Ishita chooses not to confide in Raman is because he challenges her, and forces her to pay attention to herself and her needs, instead of running around trying to do good in the world with an impulsiveness that has only proved, at times, to be too costly.
Raman:
For Raman, too, the current track is an opportunity for self-growth and for emerging out of his painful past. It is interesting to see that he idolizes Ishita even as he is rehearsing his hatred for her. He cannot stand her; yet he cannot let her go, symbolized by the bracelet that he keeps throwing away only to remorsefully retrieve it afterwards. Raman cannot deny that Ishita is the cause of all the ways in which he has changed and become a better person. Raman's ego wants to conquer Ishita's heart, but he is yet to understand that conquest in love cannot happen without surrender. Additionally, Raman has to see that he is responsible for his own growth.While Ishita can support and inspire him to grow, she cannot accomplish it. This is something that Raman has to choose to do for himself.
It is said that one cannot love another fully until one has dealt with one's own issues. This is exactly what is happening in the lives of Ishita and Raman. They are going through the internal angst of battling their inner demons, and in the process have developed tunnel vision so that they only perceive things in accordance to their assumptions. They need to set aside the glasses of their past and clear their vision of cataracts of suspicion and frustration.
Sorry for the long topic, and thank you for reading this post.
Although the current track is rather unpopular, primarily because of Ishita's obtuseness regarding the cause of Raman's anger, the CVs of YHM have proved once again that human relationships are complex, not only because of the complexities of the personalities involved, but also because the people participating in the relationship are not static beings, but are growing, sometimes even due to the relationship. If we take a step back from seeing the entire situation in black and white, from trying to decipher who is right and who is wrong, there is a lot of undercurrent material that lends itself to a profound story of two insecure individuals although brought together by circumstances, are unaware that they transcended the very exigencies of the situation (Ruhi) that brought them together, but are yet to understand how to relate to each other.
Ishita:
For a long time after the marriage, Ishita was in denial about Raman's thoughtless acts arising from the hurt of his first marriage. No matter how much Raman would insult her, Ishita would bounce back very quickly and act as though everything was normal, leaving the forum vaasis to wonder what was wrong with her. It was not that Ishita was being too mahan or forgiving, as some of us mused; rather the denial was her coping mechanism through which she could continue staying in the marriage. We saw this resilience after every mishap, be it the holi dance, or the Pervmeet track. Denial is Ishita's comfort zone or has been till recently. Therefore, she is unable to see that her husband is crazily smitten with her. Unable or unwilling? Perhaps both. Unable because of her denial, unwilling because she then has to let go of the hurt of her past of not being wanted due to her infertility.
With the Mani track, we suddenly see Ishita, more confident of herself, more willing to stand up for herself and her rights. We see her less willing to compromise, less willing to give in, a development that saw its culmination in yesterday's episode. Is this development is a result of her increasing comfort with Raman --finally Ishita is feeling safe enough in the relationship to feel unsafe? Or it is new boost in her confidence the result of Mani's reentry into her life? Perhaps it is a bit of both. Regardless, for a people-pleasing person like Ishita, although painful, this is a much needed growth spurt.
I do not fault Ishita for having a male friend. Ishita has always been the kind of person for whom it is easier to get along with, and confide, in men rather than women. We have seen this in the special bond she shares with her father, with Mr Bhalla, and with Bala. I do however think that her dalliance with seeing a jealous Raman has had dangerous consequences. The reason for Ishita's heavy dependence on Mani (other than for the CVs to drag this track along), is because perhaps the greatest thing that she misses with Raman is what Mani gives her very easily: a kind of a companionship for Ishita's samaj-seva instincts, where she can go help people she loves, where she is not challenged. Rather than being a friend, Mani is more of a yes-man, a personal super genie of sorts with riches and contacts who can make things happen the way Ishita wants them to happen, be it solving the Romy-Sarika fiasco, or retaining her husband's business tycoon title. The reason Ishita chooses not to confide in Raman is because he challenges her, and forces her to pay attention to herself and her needs, instead of running around trying to do good in the world with an impulsiveness that has only proved, at times, to be too costly.
Raman:
For Raman, too, the current track is an opportunity for self-growth and for emerging out of his painful past. It is interesting to see that he idolizes Ishita even as he is rehearsing his hatred for her. He cannot stand her; yet he cannot let her go, symbolized by the bracelet that he keeps throwing away only to remorsefully retrieve it afterwards. Raman cannot deny that Ishita is the cause of all the ways in which he has changed and become a better person. Raman's ego wants to conquer Ishita's heart, but he is yet to understand that conquest in love cannot happen without surrender. Additionally, Raman has to see that he is responsible for his own growth.While Ishita can support and inspire him to grow, she cannot accomplish it. This is something that Raman has to choose to do for himself.
It is said that one cannot love another fully until one has dealt with one's own issues. This is exactly what is happening in the lives of Ishita and Raman. They are going through the internal angst of battling their inner demons, and in the process have developed tunnel vision so that they only perceive things in accordance to their assumptions. They need to set aside the glasses of their past and clear their vision of cataracts of suspicion and frustration.
Sorry for the long topic, and thank you for reading this post.
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Shiv Shakti
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