Chapter 44
Her Mehndi hue looked so intense she couldn't make her eyes off it. The letter "S" burned her skin giving her the feelings of unreality of the happening. During the last year she experienced the greatest joy and deepest sufferings in her life. Her life reminded her of a roller coaster performing the loop that repeated itself several times. The things were changing so quickly she was afraid she woudn't be able to catch them up. In this short period of time she managed to find an enemy, fall in love with him, reject his feelings, to get engaged to a subman and engage to the enemy she loved in the end. If that didn't look like a loop she had no idea what it could be named then...
Last three weeks she spent shopping including purchasing white houses big enough to home national Indian cricket team, chatting over the phone with him, with her sister and her friends and relatives, meeting him in the evenings trying to seduce him sitting on his lap, hugging him in his car or in her room which he visited four times during last three weeks. All was useless - he was his mother's son: his blood circulated quite well half frozen and she gave up. That made him feel relaxed and tensed at the same time. The closer the date of the wedding was the hotter their quarrels became. They hassled each other on every subject: the furniture he bought for the house looked too dark for her and he lost his temper and sent it all away to the store; the color of the walls should be changed but they could not compromise, she had to pack her things and send them to her new house and she spent hours arguing with him on necessity of moving any single item. Mr. Dragon was disgruntled and vexed more than usual and that made her irritated as well. She felt their initial relation were about to return.
Astha knew normal couples were spending last weeks before the wedding in each other's arms, kissing and hugging, making each other insane with desire but not them... only not them. Like two vampires they preferred to "bite" each losing the last drops of patience in each other's company. They argued on any occasion be it his ex girlfriends she was madly jealous of or her Raj whose only name mentioning he couldn't stand. At last they decided to see each other less frequent.
Once in her room the fight was so hot she blurted "Get out of my house and of my life". His reaction astonished her.
He was deadly calm and quietly asked her "Is that what you want?"
Influenced by the moment she said "Yes".
Without saying a word he stroke towards the door and she heard him walking down the stairs. He reminded of a big angry lion. That exact moment she realized that this big cat was unforgiving and proud creature. The king of beasts was to be treated with all respect. She would lose him the very moment she forgot it. Astha rushed out of her room running as fast she could.
She caught him up only near his car and hugged him. He was trying to shake her hands off him "Shlok, please forgive me. I beg you. I can't live without you. I know I'm short tempered and petulant but no one in the whole world loves you more than I do" the desire to kiss him was unbearable but she knew he would not yield and she tiptoed embraced her wild beast still untamed and therefore madly loved.
He hugged her that tight she lost her breath "Never ever send me away. Do you hear me? Because if you do it I may never come back. I'm like that. I can't bear neglect. Not from you"
Crying she started covering his face with kisses blind with tears "I hear you. Please forgive me. If you go I'll die. I literally mean it"
"God, you are mad, Minnie. Go home. It's already cold and dark outside" he held her while she was balancing on her tiptoes.
"Tell me you forgave me" she pressed her forehead against his chest.
"Go home" he embraced her.
"Tell me" she put her hand on his chest and heard his heartbeats.
He cupped her face "I can't be angry for a long time when it comes to you. It's just..."
"What?"
He bent his face and froze on inch from her lips "I want..."
"Kiss me I beg you. You are driving me crazy. I think about it all the time. I can't forget you kissed me in the kitchen and it was like..."
"I should better go before we scandalize the neighbors and do it right here"
"You are impossible! Impossible! Frozen like your Mo..." she closed her mouth with her hand and saw him turning away from her and getting into the car..."I'm sorry, Shlok, I'm so sorry" whispered but there was no one to hear her.
...
Later that evening she called Paro and told her they quarreled again that hot he even went away. Parvati smiled which was totally unexpected for Astha "Why are you laughing? He nearly broke up with me. That was awful and you laugh"
"Astha, you are a grown up woman, practically married and you don't understand simplest things" Paro was really amused and Astha could feel her smile on a distance.
"What the hell are you talking about? What simplest things I don't understand? I was smart enough to show you Varad before the wedding and you didn't complain then. My brain didn't change its size so please be so kind as to explain me what you mean"
"Don't tease him now. He is very vulnerable nowadays. In such a state he'll ruin everything and then he will be sorry for the rest of his life"
"In such a state? I'm nervous too you know and you ask me not tease him. He teases and scolds me 24/7" Astha was counting days. Every day was bringing her one more reason to become upset with their regular boxing rounds.
"Astha, don't forget whom you marry. Remember what he is like"
"Meaning?"
"He's deprived of all the joys he used to love" Paro's words made Astha feel herself awkward, uncomfortable and sad.
"Joys?"
"Astha, switch on your brains. Please. He waits for you!!! For God's sake! In such a state men are unlikely to be very wise. You marry for love. It's a different marriage from mine. I married Varad without being in love and all we had before the wedding was a couple of sweet kisses and hugs without any special ardor. Your case is different. You passed the stage of innocent kisses and hugs long ago... You are both so mad... about each other. I feel awkward even to be in the same room with you both...You are the only person in the world that can drive him really mad. It makes everything even worse. Stop irritating him, stop arguing. Please marry him and after the wedding night you can do whatever you wish. Surely he will be answering "yes" to everything but before that keep your mouth shut. I know you hate when people say it but this time I mean it. Shut up, Astha Kirloskar for several days. Do you hear me?" Astha was blinking as if someone threw a handful of sand into her eyes. She was blind and dumb like Barbie doll he used to call her before.
Suddenly Astha felt the greatest joy...
"Paro, oh my God, what an experienced woman you became" Astha suddenly burst into laughing, Paro joined her "Yes, dear. If you have questions, you may ask me" they both were dying of laughter. Astha felt as if she was sixteen again, as if they were returning from school and there was no subject that they could treat seriously. People passing by, boys playing cricket, fat aunties - all were the funniest things in the world. The world was so colorful that time and now it became such again. That was happiness, suddenly understood Astha...
"Hey, did Mom tell you what to expect on the wedding night?" Paro was enjoying every second of this chatter.
"Yes, of course. She said it'll hurt a bit but I should lay quiet not to twitch and never show him my irritation. Sometime later I even might like it"
Paro started giggling like crazy "Sounds like a smear test"
"Yeah, I only hoped for slightly more fun" Astha was trying to joke but the laugh was suffocating her. The belly started aching
"Lay quiet? After sometime you might like it? When - after? A year or two? Oh, dear Mummy"
"Sounds so flattering to Daddy" Astha forgot when she laughed so heartily last time.
Astha, you know what? I love our mother. She's a very wise woman. Always there. Always ready to support her children. I want to be a mom like her. Now I know what I would say Kavya when she marries. Lay quiet and don't irritate him" Paro couldn't compose herself and Astha was smiling knowing Paro was hinting to something but Paro stopped.
"Paro, I know you are laughing. Why? Mom's words? Advices?"
"I think Mom's eyes are letting her down. Has she seen Shlok before giving that precious piece of advice to you?" Parvati kept giggling "You know dear, I won't say a word because though I love you very much I know you are absolutely crazy and it plays no role what mom or I say to you. You'll never do what we ask you to but I'm sure about one thing - you won't lay quiet. Not you. Not with him"
Mangal Lakshmi
