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"Your Peephole getting some workout there?" Faye asked Suds over the phone, knowing exactly what her friend was up to.
"The only hole getting any, bruh." she muttered as she stared through her door's peephole at her Hot Neighbour's door, his junk in the trunk of an apartment standing tall n' strong across to her hoohaa flat.
Faye laughed. "You eyeing his door again? Go on. Let it out!"
"ASDJ*&%@#jgd!!!!!! F**king firm and round like freshly baked buns." Suds replied instantly. "I feel like knocking his door right now! In fact, I even have a pic of that very door. I've got it bad." Suds sighed.
"Perv..." Faye said.
"Don't judge, ok? It's f**king DOOR-licious!" Suds licked her lips involuntarily, turning back from the peephole to eye out the bottle of Jagermeister she planned on downing in a little bit. It was the bottle calling verses another round of poking her hole and drooling at his door. His f**king door wins hands down every time. "You know Faye, I didn't even know I was a door person until now."
Suds turned back to the peephole for one last glance, when she saw his door swing open. Her eyes widened as she realized he was walking across the hallway towards her apartment.
"JFC! He's coming! He is coming! Oh god. Ugh. He's just so hot! He's sweaty...and he has his surf shorts on. OH GOD! FAYE, what should I do?! He's so close, he's coming!!" she hissed into the phone, jumping as if on a trampoline as she watched him.
"Try cuming together! OR, tell him the Knights Honor, "You wait for your lady to come first!" Faye laughed.
"Dude...you don't understand, he's about to knock my door!" Suds whined, as she looked down at her Wiggles pajamas, and the two empty pizza boxes - the only remnants from her dinner.
"Ok, calm. Breathe. f**king wooo saaa woman!" Faye pep-talked her.
"Yes yes. You're right. Now is NOT the time for a panic attack. That Jager has my name written all over it. I gotta go, bruh. Love you."
"Suds, wait-"
Suds disconnected as she heard the hard knock on her door. Three times. She liked that. Consistency. "Hmmm." She moaned at a dirty picture that her mind played, she quickly began setting the couch and cushions right, jumping and hopping around.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
"Oh! Uhhh, coming! Two more minutes! Oh! Wait!!! Ahhh. Com - Cominggg!!!!!!" she tried sounding sexy but ending up very puffy and worked up from all the hopping and the instant tidying.
She opened the door panting and smiling at him.
"Sugar?"
"Huh?" Did he just call me sugar? Suds' eyes softened.
"Honey?"
"Yes?"
"Can I borrow some?" he said, bursting Suds' little bubble.
"Err, yeah, of course." she said, allowing him in.
"You like sugar or honey?"
"Both - I'm punjabi, y'know? Everything we eat is drenched in sugar, or else it isn't even edible." she rambled as she tried to ignore his intent stare on her.
"You had company over?" he asked, eyeing out the two pizza boxes.
"No love, I just...Wait. I didn't just call you love. I mean, I call lots of people love, but you aren't one of them. Not that I don't- Wait. What I'm trying to say, is that I LOVE pizza, man. It's like the best thing in the world. Well, next to Jager. "
The Neighbour couldn't hide his amusement. "Vegemite?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as he picked up the jar.
"I'm Punjabi, dude. But I'm Australian, too. Vegemite is a beautiful thing..." she said, handing him over her bag of sugar.
"Chocolate souffle? You bake!" he asked, clearly impressed; eyeing out the entire contents on her kitchen bench. The oranges that sadly wouldn't be used for vodka orange yet sat in one corner.
"Yes, it is. You wanna try some?" she asked, this time pretty much succeeding in sounding very seductive indeed.
"I'd love to taste your chocolate..." he drawled naughtily.
Huh.
Eagerly agreeing to yet another bite of souffle, which he said was "just delicious", the hot neighbour chanced, "And a Jagermeister?"
Suds smiled. "One Jager? Dude no. Definitely more than that!"
"Sounds good! What are we watching, Wiggles?" he teased. Suds blushed. "Wait, what?"
"Suds, get a grip. You don't blush." but Suds blushed a little more.
"A horror movie! Oh man, can I join in?" The Neighbour said making himself comfortable on her couch and noting the movie that was on pause.
"Yeah. Heard it's wicked! And as for The Wiggles, I love them, ok? They were Australia's answer to The Beatles." Suds defended as she sat down next to him on the couch.
He laughed good-humoredly. "I wasn't teasing. These are cute." he smiled, as he tugged her sleeve.
"Ok, movie time!" Suds announced, deciding on a plan of action before getting distracted.
He had no clue that she'd already watched this movie. And it was scary alright but she could handle that kind of scary, he just didn't have to know.
They watched in silence for a while as the eerie music kept up its beat. Suddenly, a blood curdling scream pierced through the room, and it was the moment Suds had been waiting for.
She shrieked and dramatically jumped onto the hot neighbour's lap, hiding her face in his chest. UMMMHHH...THAT CHEST. Such a Warm Hard CHEST! MMM. She smiled slightly as his arms wound around her, and he patted her back soothingly.
"Don't be scared...I'm here. Your very own knight in shining Armor - and with a powerful sword too."
Did he just-? Holy - Suds felt exactly what he meant as his sword twitched, waking up. She smiled wider at remembering Sagey's words about watching a scary movie with a hairy chest to nuzzle in... so she nuzzled closer, rotating her tiny ass on his sword.
OOOPS! The jagger spilled over his T-shirt.
"One minute love, I gotta get this out." The Neighbour said dropping the bottle on the floor but when suds tried to get off of him, he held her waist tight, very efficiently he took off his shirt, throwing it somewhere on the floor and pulled suds back to his NAKED WARM MUSCULAR CHEST!!!!! MMM! OHHH!
He was grinding her closer and closer...
"HAHAHA! In your face suckers, I have a Hot Hard Naked chest all for me...And I am so riding the Neighbour express...CHOO!!! CHOO!!!!"
"LOVE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I ACTUALLY CAME OVER 'COS I WANTED TO WISH YOU IN MY OWN SPECIAL WAY." Said the sexy neighbour now without the hood.
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Faye: Thank you to the lovely ladies who call themselves the Naughty Nine for writing this. :D
This was super funny. 😆
*Hot Hard Naked should be a patented thing. 🤣
-
credits; intro: faye. edits: farz and faye. os: tamara and juliet.
Let me just tell you something, none of this would've would've been possible without the help of these two wonderful ladies:
The lovely Farz and the amazing Tamara.
Had they not helped, I would've been pulling all my hair out in frustration and given up halfway. Thank you to the both of you for being so amazing. 🤗
I realise this is the longest introduction ever, but eh. We have all decided to be evil, and make you answer a questionnaire, all of them. The longer you aren't here, the longer the list will get. 😆
Questionnaire.
1. What would your perfect man be like? (Tamara specifically said not fictional. Like, when you marry, or not, whatever. And what type?)
2. If you could one on one psychoanalyse a criminal, who would it be? (again, Tamara.
3. Worst real life villain ever?
4. Worst fictional villain ever?
5. If you could be anyone other than yourself, who would it be? (this and the two above, T.)
6. Fictional character(s) you'd like to bang? (🤣 whatever, I'm allowed to be crude. the other questions were far too mature. 😆 - Faye)
7. If you ever had to would you adopt the name Stilinski as a second name? 😆 You know what I'm on about. (Faye)
8. Pet peeves bro? (Faye)
9. Shows/movies/books you hate? (Faye)
10. Will you ever see this? 🤣
Jhanak
Shiv Shakti
