Kolkata Khobor (Fun post paper) - Ayub Khan is our reader! (pg20)

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Nishaya

@Nash..

Dazzler

Posted: 10 years ago

#121

IF TOWN members declare Hospitals in India as Goenka's personal property

Nothing to be surprised at and nothing to Boast about, the IF TOWN MEMBERS have signed the agreement papers with the Goenkas that all hospitals in India becomes there " Baap ka Ghar" from now on. The members are tired of seeing Goenkas barge into hospitals all the time, threatening the well known doctors, criticising one another over petty issues and most of all the fact that for Goenkas, hospitals are Amusement park and temple where they can enter any time (remember Dev nd Durga)..has made the IF Town members loose all hope in medical confidentiality and secrecy improvement in EHT. Thereby they said that," jab hospital ko baap ka ghar aur doctors ko baap ka naukar samajh hi liya hai toh aaj se sare hospital inke hue"P

Stay tuned with KK!!

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Dolly-heart

@Dolly-heart

Sparkler

Posted: 10 years ago

#122

Breaking News of A Broken Back...

Socialite Shakshi Goenka's Son .. The Infamous Shaurya Goenka has been found in an ordinary Dhabba fighting to prove that he is NOT a "Momma's Boy" to some Macho Gunda's who believed otherwise.

In the ensuing Scuffle of four Gunda's against one Self Proclaimed "Kameena"

Shaurya was beaten thoroughly by being overmatched by four Gunda's.

After reaching the Hospital Shaurya Goenka was heard Screaming "Blue Murder" at all present that he could NOT feel below his Waist !!

Shakshi Goenka was seen Stunned to see her beloved Son Shaurya in a condition and was also seen showing her "Sadakchaap" attitude by threatening and Promising to get even with one and all.

Some residents of Kolkata were reported to be throwing a party when this News hit the Public that the ever Arrogant Shaurya Goenka had at last gotten what he deserved for his "Holier than Thou Attitude"

Stay tuned to find out if Shaurya Goenka will ever walk again or will he be "Pushed Around" by others for a Change!!

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642126

Hibernated

Posted: 10 years ago

#123

Breaking! Shaurya Goenka to become po*n star!

Kolkata, After the accident that left Shaurya Goenka paralysed, there are lot of speculations of his masculinity and potency as a man. Shaurya who was the biggest playboy of Kolkata has now left everyone wondering if he will ever be able to do it again or not now that the lower half of his body is paralysed.

The question was asked to him by a journalist at hospital after which he was reportedly quite enraged and hurt.

To counter all speculations, Shaurya Goenka has decided to call girls at hospital and shoot X rated videos with them on hospital bed. Sources say Shaurya has decided to upload videos on YouTube and send clips to media to prove what a man he was.

His parents Sakshi and Rajnath Goenka are unaware that their scion and heir Shaurya is going to turn a po*n star.

We wonder what they think of their son's step.

As of now Shaurya Goenka seems determined to do it in front of the world to see it for themselves.

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Dolly-heart

@Dolly-heart

Sparkler

Posted: 10 years ago

#124

Snoopy Reporter Reporting Juicy Tidbit...

The City of Kolkata is again Abuzz with the latest development in the Accident suffered by the Eligible Bachelor Shaurya Goenka from being severely beaten

by some "Gunda's"

The News of the Eligible Bachelor being Paralyzed and that he has completely lost all feeling from the waist down has surprised many.

When interviewing the Public all were in agreement that Shaurya Goenka did NOT have any REAL FEELINGS for anyone Anyways !!!

There was a lot of "Snickering " and "Covert Laughter" from many after hearing the News.

Snoopy Reporter was curious to ask many previous Girl Friends of the Eligible Bachelor that since he was looking to find one that would visit him in the Hospital so he could Prove that he can still Stand and be "THE BEDROOM CHAMP" that he was famous for before the Accident.

Snoopy Reporter only got Extreme "Mirth" from his Fair Weather Girl Friends.

Stay tuned to see IF Shaurya the "Bedroom Champ" will be able to stand up

and ..."Rise Up to the Challenge "!!!!

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642126

Hibernated

Posted: 10 years ago

#125

Public mistakes Goenka scion for a beggar, throws coins at him

Kolkata, In a bizarre incident a Goenka scion was mistaken for a beggar! Eyewitness says Dev Goenka was sitting on the roadside, crying and shouting. He even bent down and was looking at the road. He shouted "Mujh pe taras nahi aata?"

Seeing him in such a state, a couple of passersby mistook him for a beggar and threw coins at him and muttered "Bechaara! "

This left Dev Goenka puzzled. Finally he looked up and someone noticed he was a famous guy, the same one who was recently in news over being shot and was also featured in Kolkata Khobor for getting Moron Medal.

"It's not a beggar! It's Dev Goenka! He has too much money yaar! Stop wasting chillar on him!"

The crowd was shocked and whispered why this guy was in such dire straits. They muttered "Bade log aur unke dramey!" And dispersed.

Sources say this incident has left Dev Goenka rather red faced and even more confused.

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642126

Hibernated

Posted: 10 years ago

#126

Mass resignations at Kolkata City Hospital in 3 days!

Kolkata The city's largest hospital has witnessed a peculiar phenomenon. In just 3 days a number of doctors, nurses, ward boys etc have submitted resignations. They alleged Goenka clan's nuisance had forced them to take this extreme step. A doctor speaking to Kolkata Khobor on condition of anonymity said, "This is too much! Their son Shaurya is the worst behaved patient I ever came across in my 35 year career. He keeps throwing things, insults and manhandles staff. He also tried to get cozy with a nurse. His family is even worse as they threaten us outside his room and expect us to handle his tantrums. The drama of these people has caused disturbance to other patients as well."

A ward boy confirmed that Shaurya Goenka had thrown medicines worth thousands of rupees and broken too many bottles till now. He lamented how he had to clean up Shaurya's room every hour but could not protest because he was afraid of being beaten up.

The staff approached management to take action but when nothing was done they mutually decided to submit resignations.

Cried a nurse, "I'd rather die jobless than work around a Goenka! "

The hospital administration is facing a lot of crisis with mass exodus of staff, inability to confront mighty Goenkas and several patients also wanting to be shifted elswhere.

We can only wonder when this stalemate would end.

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642126

Hibernated

Posted: 10 years ago

#127

Most awaited wedding of Kolkata becomes most comic wedding ever!

Kolkata, It was the most awaited event of Kolkata. A Goenka wedding! Shaurya Goenka, the younger scion of Goenka empire was supposed to marry Durga Thakur, daughter of famous doctor and philanthropist Dr Dayal Thakur.

It saw the who's who of the city in attendance. It was always in news given how Shaurya Goenka had been paralysed and people wondered of wedding would happen or not. Playgirl circles also wondered how a playboy like Shaurya could get hitched finally.

Yet the day arrived.

Sources tell Shaurya Goenka was being rude to guests. He had several whispering sessions with his friends and mother, Sakshi Goenka. Finally when they were taken to the altar he refused to get married. This was shocking though not unexpected.

The Thakurs were livid. But Sakshi Goenka supported her son's decision. Finally Dayal Thakur played "ladki ka majboor baap" card and Goenkas offered them choice to marry other scion Dev Goenka!

The offer pleased Dayal Thakur but Durga and Dev did not relent. After some whispering session between Dayal Thakur and Dev Goenka the latter suddenly agreed to marry Durga Thakur.

Sources add Dayal had promised to get Dev access to his long lost girlfriend if he married Durga. Bizarre but true.

Later he feigned a heart attack to convince his unrelenting daughter to marry Dev. Amusingly everybody believed it, raised no objection at all.

Shaurya Goenka was seen slapping his forehead. Goenkas looked around.

Media had a field day covering the drama.

Sources add this development has spoiled Goenkas' and Thakurs' reputation, they have been kicked out from VIP circles and mass exodus of their followers has taken place. Lions Club of Kolkata has asked Goenkas and Thakurs to go to Lakshmi ladies club as they do not entertain such dramatic people in their elite club. Moron Association extended congratulatory wishes to Dev Goenka for justifying the Moron Medal they had bestowed on him.

Shaurya Goenka is the laughing stock of town now as he has nothing now.

Several comic spoofs and memes on both parties are going viral online.

This wedding is estimated to be the biggest drama ever staged by Goenkas.

Edited by atominis - 10 years ago

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642126

Hibernated

Posted: 10 years ago

#128

Huge party at Kolkata Jail:

Kolkata: A lot has happened in Kolkata till now. It is reported that Dev Goenka, the scion of Goenka empire has been accused of shooting Raima Maheshwari and is in jail for attempt to murder.

Incidentally this happens to be the same jail where other jilted associates of Goenkas were also sent. Mathur, pandit, Ganguly etc.

There is said to be a huge ghum galat session where everyone wronged by Goenkas shall be meeting and making confessions over drinks inside the jail.

We hope some interesting dope comes out of this session in jail.

Stay tuned for further updates from the jail get together.

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ruffledfeathers

@ruffledfeathers

Explorer

Posted: 10 years ago

#129

Originally posted by: atominis
Huge party at Kolkata Jail:

Kolkata: A lot has happened in Kolkata till now. It is reported that Dev Goenka, the scion of Goenka empire has been accused of shooting Raima Maheshwari and is in jail for attempt to murder.
Incidentally this happens to be the same jail where other jilted associates of Goenkas were also sent. Mathur, pandit, Ganguly etc.
There is said to be a huge ghum galat session where everyone wronged by Goenkas shall be meeting and making confessions over drinks inside the jail.

We hope some interesting dope comes out of this session in jail.

Stay tuned for further updates from the jail get together.

The party/get-together will be more enjoyable if those criminals that are outside also joined the ones inside.

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Rocky.Bhai

@Rocky.Bhai

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 10 years ago

#130

Originally posted by: atominis
Huge party at Kolkata Jail:

Kolkata: A lot has happened in Kolkata till now. It is reported that Dev Goenka, the scion of Goenka empire has been accused of shooting Raima Maheshwari and is in jail for attempt to murder.
Incidentally this happens to be the same jail where other jilted associates of Goenkas were also sent. Mathur, pandit, Ganguly etc.
There is said to be a huge ghum galat session where everyone wronged by Goenkas shall be meeting and making confessions over drinks inside the jail.

We hope some interesting dope comes out of this session in jail.

Stay tuned for further updates from the jail get together.

😆

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