Educational Pressure on Kids in US

Originally posted by: JhoomBJhoom

I just want to get feedback from DM members whether the parents should put pressure on kids for selecting educational fields in US so as to secure good future.

No, they should not! Guide them about what to expect in various career fields like the years at school, effort level, avg starting salaries etc. and then let them make their own decisions.

My older daughter is almost 13 now and she loves science, math, and music. she plays violin like a pro. she was talking to me about taking up music as her major in college. we sat down and had a detailed heart to heart talk. gave her some time to think. she came back and shared with me that she thinks she would like to take up music as her second degree or may be as a minor in college. as of now, she is thinking about criminal law as her major...which might change with time...who knows!!!.

I, personally, tell both of my kids to go for their dreams. I'll make sure their dreams come true and support them in whatever way they need support as long as they are not just dreaming.....they are actually doing something, making some efforts to reach those dreams😊

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

No, they should not! Guide them about what to expect in various career fields like the years at school, effort level, avg starting salaries etc. and then let them make their own decisions.

My older daughter is almost 13 now and she loves science, math, and music. she plays violin like a pro. she was talking to me about taking up music as her major in college. we sat down and had a detailed heart to heart talk. gave her some time to think. she came back and shared with me that she thinks she would like to take up music as her second degree or may be as a minor in college. as of now, she is thinking about criminal law as her major...which might change with time...who knows!!!.

I, personally, tell both of my kids to go for their dreams. I'll make sure their dreams come true and support them in whatever way they need support as long as they are not just dreaming.....they are actually doing something, making some efforts to reach those dreams😊

Originally posted by: JhoomBJhoom

I just want to get feedback from DM members whether the parents should put pressure on kids for selecting educational fields in US so as to secure good future.

they should since otherwise the kids can be lost over here.... Too many choices confuse them.. the parents should guide them the same way infact more vigorously into certain disciplines....😊

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

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My older daughter is almost 13 now and she loves science, math, and music. she plays violin like a pro. she was talking to me about taking up music as her major in college. we sat down and had a detailed heart to heart talk. gave her some time to think. she came back and shared with me that she thinks she would like to take up music as her second degree or may be as a minor in college. as of now, she is thinking about criminal law as her major...which might change with time...who knows!!!.

I, personally, tell both of my kids to go for their dreams. I'll make sure their dreams come true and support them in whatever way they need support as long as they are not just dreaming.....they are actually doing something, making some efforts to reach those dreams😊

Yeah, tell me about it! I was going to go in the medical field till I was in 10th grade. Then, I moved to US of A and my parents were in India. At the end of 11th grade and the beginning of 12th when I was applying to colleges, I would spend an average one hour everyday on the phone with my parents (who are in India) talking about different careers. I had something new everyday and my parents would just be like 😕, since when were you ever interested in xyz?

But they were always supportive and they are now as well. My mom is getting a little cranky now since I am planning to change my major after having completed my freshman year 😆 but my dad is all for me. Better do something that you like rather than getting stuck with an unwated career!

There was this guy who scored exceptionally well in his 12th board exams and the parents, forced the guy to go in the medical field. He was really not interested in it but to keep the parents happy, he finally gave in. Grades started coming in and the parents were frustrated as to how their smart bacha was getting so dull. They finally asked him what he wanted to do and he joined computer science. Today, the dude is making some real nice $$$ and is happy with his life and so are his parents.

So, the moral of the story is, be it India or America or XYZ, parents should not force their kids to do something that they don't want to.

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

No, they should not! Guide them about what to expect in various career fields like the years at school, effort level, avg starting salaries etc. and then let them make their own decisions.

My older daughter is almost 13 now and she loves science, math, and music. she plays violin like a pro. she was talking to me about taking up music as her major in college. we sat down and had a detailed heart to heart talk. gave her some time to think. she came back and shared with me that she thinks she would like to take up music as her second degree or may be as a minor in college. as of now, she is thinking about criminal law as her major...which might change with time...who knows!!!.

I, personally, tell both of my kids to go for their dreams. I'll make sure their dreams come true and support them in whatever way they need support as long as they are not just dreaming.....they are actually doing something, making some efforts to reach those dreams😊

I hope I can be half the mother you are Maasi 😳 You and the other mothers here really inspire me.

I agree that guidance is definitely important. And depending on the child the level of guidance can change too.

I'm of two minds though. On the one hand it's definitely beneficial to know what field you want to get into by the time you get into college. On the other hand, US colleges afford you the unique opportunity to "try out" various fields and see what truly interests you and what you'd like to pursue.

While I've had a goal in mind for a long time now, I am the type of student who gets easily interested by other fields and tries to take on everything at once, or stay in school for the rest of my life 😆 In my case, I wouldn't mind a little extra pressure from my parents (okay, I'd mind, but I'd also appreciate it... eventually 😉) so that I can stay focussed.

Good luck to you and your daughter Maasi.. it's a long road. I'm available as a resource if you ever need help either in the application process (why is it so complicated!? 😕) or if a "badi didi" talking to her will help.

Originally posted by: rutumodi915

Yeah, tell me about it! I was going to go in the medical field till I was in 10th grade. Join the club 😃 Then, I moved to US of A and my parents were in India. At the end of 11th grade and the beginning of 12th when I was applying to colleges, I would spend an average one hour everyday on the phone with my parents (who are in India) talking about different careers. I had something new everyday and my parents would just be like 😕, since when were you ever interested in xyz? Wow, I admire you yaar... it takes a lot of courage and confidence to move to a country by yourself to pursue education. I'd be lost without my parents. And yes, in terms of opportunities and variety, US collegiate system really lets you do anything and everything. I wish European and Asian collegiate systems would take this practice up.

But they were always supportive and they are now as well. My mom is getting a little cranky now since I am planning to change my major after having completed my freshman year 😆 but my dad is all for me. Haha... let me guess, you were a bio major? Now what? I switched from Biology to English...imagine my parents confusion and disappointment 😆 (I'm still premed so still in their good books though they're still confused) Better do something that you like rather than getting stuck with an unwated career! Absolutely! But how do you know unless you get some experience there? 😕 And if you've worked/volunteered at a hospital here, you know how limited that experience is.

There was this guy who scored exceptionally well in his 12th board exams and the parents, forced the guy to go in the medical field. He was really not interested in it but to keep the parents happy, he finally gave in. Grades started coming in and the parents were frustrated as to how their smart bacha was getting so dull. They finally asked him what he wanted to do and he joined computer science. Today, the dude is making some real nice $$$ and is happy with his life and so are his parents. Good for him.

So, the moral of the story is, be it India or America or XYZ, parents should not force their kids to do something that they don't want to.
I agree 100%. But I also think parents need to be a strong guiding force, especially in at an early age. Help the kids experience different career possibilities. Expose them to different people who've done well in their respective fields. And support them through the decisions.

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

No, they should not! Guide them about what to expect in various career fields like the years at school, effort level, avg starting salaries etc. and then let them make their own decisions.

My older daughter is almost 13 now and she loves science, math, and music. she plays violin like a pro. she was talking to me about taking up music as her major in college. we sat down and had a detailed heart to heart talk. gave her some time to think. she came back and shared with me that she thinks she would like to take up music as her second degree or may be as a minor in college. as of now, she is thinking about criminal law as her major...which might change with time...who knows!!!.

I, personally, tell both of my kids to go for their dreams. I'll make sure their dreams come true and support them in whatever way they need support as long as they are not just dreaming.....they are actually doing something, making some efforts to reach those dreams😊

Well said Gauri 👏,

Parental guidance is needed no doubt about it but the way they guid is the key for their children's happiness and success ..

By providing all facts and figure at appropriate age infact raise the confidence level and trust in children for their parents. which is ofcourse well needed in their next level of interaction where the interaction would be a teenager-parent and then adult-parent.

Originally posted by: simtara

Originally posted by: qwertyesque

they should since otherwise the kids can be lost over here.... Too many choices confuse them.. the parents should guide them the same way infact more vigorously into certain disciplines....😊

You always come up with interesting thoughts😆.. Ok agree ...please give us a bit detail how should they apply pressure ?

btw .. are you thinking they better run away after 18 . no need to worry about dowery etc 😉 😆