DESTINED TO LOVE :: IShRa OS

FOUR YEARS AGO..

How much pain could the human heart take? She wondered, as she walked along the busy streets of Delhi, lost in her thoughts. The rush hour traffic, the hustle and bustle, the blaring sounds would have drowned out anybody's voice, but they were not loud enough to silence the screams inside her head. It was a wonder that her heart continued to beat, despite the agony that coursed through her entire being. Her wounds felt so fresh, it was difficult for her to believe that it had been two months already since that fateful day. She cursed her fate as she remembered how her carefully built cocoon of happiness had been destroyed in a single day; broken to pieces by her lover; her best friend of twelve years; her Subbu. She had been grappling with the devastating news that she would probably never be able to bear a child; the trauma had only just begun to sink in, when he had come to her and announced that he no longer wanted her in his life. She had tried to reason with him; she vaguely remembered her entire family begging him to reconsider his decision. But he hadn't budged. He had gone away then, from her life, breaking all the promises he had made to her; leaving her with nothing but shattered dreams and a broken heart.

She had spent the next few days cooped up in her room, torn between grief for the loss of her love and anger at his betrayal. But, while at home, her father's restlessness and her mother's silent tears only worsened the ache in her heart, so she had started working again, in an attempt to keep herself occupied. Work at the clinic did give her some relief; interacting with her patients, especially the little ones bringing a shadow of a smile on her face. It was after she closed her clinic that she felt the familiar pangs creep into her mind and heart.

So after work, she indulged in aimless strolls, going wherever her feet took her and allowing her mind to escape into those dark depths where there was nothing but pain. She figured she needed these moments of privacy, to brood, before she went back home and put up a brave front for her parents' sake.

A loud honk momentarily snapped her out of her thoughts and she realized that she had veered off the sidewalk onto the main road. She hurried back to the pavement and found herself at the entrance of a park. Her mind in a haze, she entered, breathing in the fresh air and the cool breeze without really looking around. She wandered around for some time, and spotted an empty bench, partially hidden by the long and drooping branches of the tree under which it stood. She went over and sat on it, to give her aching legs some respite.

"I'll miss you, Ishu", he said lovingly over the phone, and her heart skipped a beat.

"Subbu, it's just a matter of two days. I'll be back before you know it".

"You know we get to meet each other only on the weekends, Ishu. And here you are, about to spend the entire weekend at some boring conference".

She laughed and tried to console him, "Be a sport, sweety. Once we get married, we'll always be together, right? We'll make up for it then".

"You bet, Ishu. Always together..."

The scene shifted. His voice had changed, his face, an emotionless mask.

"No, Ishu, you don't understand. Love is not enough. After a few years, when we find that we can't have kids, we'll resent each other. I'm sorry, Ishu, but I don't want to be in a doomed relationship. I can't marry you."

His harsh voice resonated in her head. She opened her eyes, surprised to find herself on the park bench. She had been transported to that day, that moment, so vivid had been the memory. Her eyes filled with tears, her breath caught in her chest. Abandoning all dignity and pretence, she did the only thing she could; the only thing she had wanted to do since he had deserted her. She buried her face in her hands and began sobbing; unable to stem the flow of emotions, hoping that the tears would wash away all her anguish as well.

After what seemed like an eternity, her eyes dried out and her sobs turned into hiccups. She looked up and was thankful to see that the leaves and branches had provided her the much needed privacy and that no one seemed to have noticed her outburst. She wiped her tear stained face with her hands, picked up her belongings and was just about to leave when she noticed it.

On the arm of the bench, someone had tied a bunch of colourful balloons. And at the edge of the seat, she spotted a small pink teddy bear. She looked around to check if someone had forgotten them there, but saw no one. She picked up the little soft toy, to find a note underneath it. It was a handwritten message on a tissue paper.

"HEY STRANGER, I KNOW LIFE SUCKS, BUT LOOK UP AND OBSERVE THE BEAUTY AROUND YOU. TRUST ME, YOU'LL FEEL BETTER. I KNOW I DID!"

She was touched by the kind gesture. She turned again to search for the stranger; a retreating form, perhaps, but there was no one nearby. She saw the balloons, pink and blue in colour, swaying with the gentle breeze. She caressed the cute little teddy in her hands, rubbing its soft fur against her cheeks and smiled her first real smile in days. She decided to take the advice of her stranger.

And boy was he right. So drowned had she been in her sorrow that she had failed to hear the sweet sounds of the birds chirping in the trees, the leaves rustling in the wind, the tinkling of the bell sounded by the kulfiwala. There were children laughing and playing, with the elders accompanying them standing nearby, keeping a close watch. The setting sun cast an orange glow over the trees and grass, and also over the water fountain at the centre, which sparkled away, reflecting all the colours that surrounded it.

Happiness could be found in so many different ways, she mused. She was Ishita Iyer, a successful medical practitioner, a loving daughter, an intelligent woman. She could not afford to lose all that she had for someone who did not value her. She needed to take stock of her life, move on from the hurt and grief and start afresh. It would take time for her to recover completely, she knew that. But she had her family; her strength. She knew she could face any storm with them by her side; she knew she would. She would come to terms with her reality at her own pace, she decided, but she wouldn't let it overwhelm her or affect her future.

She got up then, taking with her, the precious gifts that she had unexpectedly received and walked away, feeling better than she had in days.

The next day, she found herself in a slightly better mood, looking forward to the day ahead. She went back to the park, that evening, with a plan to thank him. She didn't know who he was. But she had to try; she owed it to him. Because when her best friend of twelve years had left her in the dark, the stranger had been kind enough to show her a silver lining. She walked over to the same bench and placed a rose on it along with a note.

"THANK YOU, STRANGER, FOR HELPING ME FIND MY HAPPINESS AGAIN. I HOPE YOU FIND YOURS TOO!"

PRESENT DAY..

"For the last time, Raman," she exclaimed, her voice filled with fury. "I have not even seen that envelope."

"Oh really! So it just sprouted legs and walked away from the room, did it?" asked Raman, sarcastically.

Ishita sighed in exasperation and continued rummaging through his book shelves. Her husband had turned their entire room upside down trying to find some important work related papers, and she had no clue where he could have misplaced them.

"Besides," he continued, "You're the one who's always puttering around the room, keeping things here and there."

"It's called cleaning the clutter. Your clutter, in fact." she retorted. "Why did you get the papers home, anyway? If they were that important, you should have given them to Mihir for safekeeping. He's so systematic; even his trash is more organized than your desk. You should take a leaf out of his book, you know. His house is so spick and span. And look at the mess you've created."

She noticed that he was standing with his arms crossed, facing her. "Are you done? Seriously, woman, you can't survive the day without making me listen to one of your boring lectures, can you?"

She giggled at that. "Just like the way you can't survive without taunting me!"

He shook his head and continued leafing through a stack of papers on his desk.

She smiled, pulling out books and files from the shelf. Is it love if you're bickering all time?' She wondered. It sure was in hers and Raman's case. They had married for the sake of his daughter; but they had come a long way since then. They hadn't realized when their anger towards each other had turned into tolerance, then friendship and finally love. She had been pleasantly surprised at how romantic her Raavan Kumar had turned out to be once they had admitted their love to each other. She had also been surprised by the intensity of her own feelings for him. Each time he kissed her, she went week in the knees. Each time they made love, she drowned in him; his gaze, his touch, never failing to stir the very depths of her heart.

She was shaken out of her reverie by his curses and mutterings. She chuckled as she saw him all cute and flustered. She shuffled through some more of his books when she found the A4 sized envelope tucked in a corner of the shelf. She took it and going over to him, waved it in front of his face.

He sighed in relief and uttered, "See, now if you had just remembered that you had kept it there in the first place.." he trailed off, enjoying the way she glared at him. He caught hold of her wrist before she could turn away from him in anger, pulled her into his arms and placed his lips on hers. With one hand around her waist, his other hand made its way to the nape of her neck, gently coaxing her into submission. He smiled as he felt her arms go around his neck and deepened the kiss, tightening his hold around her.

She felt her legs begin to turn into jelly, so she pushed him off while she still could.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, in mock anger. "I was just trying to thank you."

"Ha! Like that's going to work on me", she replied, hoping that he couldn't hear her pounding heart. "If you want to thank me, you'll have to help me clear this mess."

"I think I like my way of saying thanks more than yours", he said grumpily.

She punched him playfully in the arm and signaled him to pick up the files and papers lying all over the place, while she went over to arrange all the books that she had brought down from the shelves.

She was almost done when one of his old diaries caught her attention. It had fallen open on the floor and had escaped her notice. She spotted a dried rose in it and an old crumpled piece of paper. It couldn't be', she thought and picked it up, her fingers trembling. It was the same note that she had written, all those years ago.

Realizing that she had suddenly gone still, he went over to her wondering what she was looking at. She turned to him, showing him the note, with questions in her eyes. "Where did you get this from?" she asked, almost in a whisper.

He looked at her quizzically and replied, "It's from someone I met in a park, a long time ago. Ishita," he asked, worry creasing his brow, "what's wrong?"

"This.. it was me." She stammered. "I wrote this."

It was his turn to be stumped.

He remembered that day vividly. Ruhi had just been over two years old. He had shifted base to Mumbai, unable to bear Shagun's deceit. He would come home, once in a month or so, to pacify his mother, but would not find it in his heart to spend time with his family, or take his little daughter in his arms because he had been so consumed by anger and the hurt of rejection. He never intended to hurt his daughter. But he figured she was better off without him, a man whose heart was filled with nothing but hatred. He trusted that his family would fill the void in Ruhi's life. He cut himself off from her life, so that he could pursue the glory and riches that his wife had left him for; a path that he had chosen at the cost of his daughter's happiness.

During such visits, he would escape to the nearby park, unable to tolerate his father's taunts and complaints. He would spend his evenings there, on his favourite bench, trying to find some semblance of sanity within the storms raging through his mind and heart. He would find solace in the beauty of the surroundings and the cheerful faces all around him.

One such evening, as he approached his spot, he was surprised to find that it was already occupied by someone. He had half a mind to go up to the woman and politely ask her to leave. He would have done so, too, had he not noticed then that she was weeping uncontrollably. There she sat, choking and sobbing, completely oblivious to his presence. Something about her tugged at his heart. He could not see who she was, with her hands and her long hair shielding her face. He found himself rooted to the spot. He knew he was intruding upon a private moment. But at the same time, he didn't feel like leaving her in that state. So he did the only thing he could think of. He left on the bench, the balloons and the toy that he had bought for Ruhi. He wrote a note, too, so that she would know that the gifts were meant for her. He walked away from there then, hoping that she would feel better.

The next evening, when he had gone to the park again, he had found the note from her. He smiled as he read it, glad that he had been able to help her, albeit in a small way. He had not been able to get her image out of his head. Perhaps because he himself had been suffering; he had reached out to someone who had been as vulnerable. But now, as he looked at the same woman, so many years later, he couldn't help but marvel at the quirk of fate. He should have known. Only she could have had such an effect on his senses.

"Why were you crying that day?" he asked her, still baffled at the discovery of this strange connection that they shared.

"Subbu.." She looked down and uttered, and he understood.

Stepping towards her, he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. She buried her face in his chest, his silence reassuring her more than any words ever could.

Later that night, as she lay in his arms, her head resting on his chest, she couldn't help but feel grateful towards Subbu. If it were not for him, she would have never even met Raman. She would have never known the true meaning of love.

"Raman?" she called out softly, checking to see if he was awake.

"Hmm?" he replied, enquiringly.

"That day at the park; it is one of my most cherished memories. A memory that I clung on to, each time I felt depressed. I can't thank you enough for giving me that."

He smiled and looked down at her. The woman did not realize that he had more reasons to thank her than she could ever have. But instead of voicing his thoughts about that, he teased her, "Well, I can think of many ways for you thank me. I showed you one earlier. Now how about you show me one?"

She giggled at that, but shifted herself, allowing him to move on top of her. His lips found hers, as his hands caressed her skin. She pulled him closer still, entwining her arms around him. And between their soft moans that echoed through the silent night, she surrendered to him, drowning helplessly, yet again.

THE END