Shlok woke up before Astha, she was sleeping so peacefully in his arms. If given a choice he could've kept on looking at her. He remembered last night. And his body reacted with need. But he didn't want to disturb Astha, she looked divine. Just the perfect way to start each day. He gently kissed her hair.
She slowly opened her eyes, seeing Shlok looking at her with all the love, a smile came on to her lips unknowingly. She looked at his face, she kissed him softly on his lips. And greeted him A good morning. "It's the best morning ever" he said kissing her back. I wish I don't have to go, but I know I should probably get going before the kids wake up. I don't want you having to explain things to them" Shlok said embracing her as tight as he can. "I'll bring you tea" he asked her to just stay with him little longer.
She saddled herself on top of him. She was wearing his shirt with most of the top most buttons undone. She looked at him with mischief and a grin on her face. He knew what she was suggesting. He was more than willing to oblige, not that he's gonna need much time to complete the task at hand.
Soon enough Shlok was trying to make his way out of Asthas room. She tugged at his shirt. Tears streaming down her cheeks. One look and Shlok, was holding her in his arms. "I'm sacred to let you go. I have a very uneasy feeling. Promise again that you won't forget us, forget me!" She said with increased sobs. "Astha, you are like the air that I breathe. Can a living thing survive without air? Just like that, I can't live without you. I'd die without you. I promise you I'll be back for you and the girls. Don't you trust me? Do you think that my love is so weak that distance and my family can change so easily" he said making her look at his eyes. "I know you love us. And I also know that you need us, but you have others to consider" she said very innocently.
"Trust me when I say that I have only yours and my girls feelings to consider. Nothing else matters. If you love me and want me in your life, then I'd be in your life. That's the god honest truth." Shlok said to her gave her one last searing kiss.
Can we come to drop you off to the Airport? She asked. "If I see either of you in tears I won't be able to get on that plane. I'll take a cab. I will not have the heart to walk away from you and the girls. I'm not that strong. Please, don't be sad or hurt. I think thats best for all of us" saying he looked at her eyes seeking her understanding. She knew what he's saying is true. It will be extremely difficult to see him off, even for the girls as well. So she accepted his reasoning.
With that he quietly made his way out of the house. She let him go reluctantly and he walked away with a very heavy heart. He was almost afraid to look back at her. He could feel her pain. For he felt the same way. She mouthed a I love you when he looked back. He blew a kiss and said returned her gesture.
She rushed back to her room and cried her heart out. She was having a very unnerving feeling since the moment he mentioned him going back. She was fearing the worst and hoping for the best. That was her mantra. So far it had helped her. It's not the most wise way to live but she has benefited rather than be hindered.
Shlok was pacing in his room. His heart was not willing to leave them and go. But his mind was trying to rationalise his thought process. Trying to pacify him. He needs to be in India.
He can't just take Astha and the kids back home either just like that. He can't just uproot their existence for his selfish needs. The more he thought about it the more he was being convinced. But he knew she would never agree to it. That's not the way she does things. He was feeling suffocated with the thought of not seeing them, not being able to hold them. Kiss her, make love to her. How on earth is he going to survive days may be weeks without Astha and the kids?
He had more than 12 hours before he needs to leave for the airport.
He wished to see Astha and the girls one last time. But he knew it'll be too hard for him to specially leave them. So decided against going to see them. He had done the packing and everything was ready for him to go. He knew that Astha was at work. She was working till afternoon that day. Maybe he should just pay her a visit at the hospital.
Astha, on the other hand was feeling miserable. Thinking about the fact that she's not going to be able to see Shlok for days. Not knowing for how long was making things even worse. She certainly didn't feel like going to work that day. She was feeling drained and exhausted with all the passionate love making. She was glad that she didn't have any surgeries scheduled for that day. So, She called in sick. Kids needed to be dropped off at the play school. At the breakfast table which was dominated by the girls chattering about Shlok. They very proudly showed Shanthi the chain and the pendant their dad gave them. They were in awe of Shlok. Astha watched and listened to everything they said and she herself kept touching the Mangal Sutra that Shlok had tied around her neck last night.
There was a very faint trace of the Vermilion still on her forehead even after taking a bath in the morning. She didn't want to wash it away. She wished she could keep it forever.
She had told Shanthi everything. Well not everything. But what she could share with her. She was dying to share it with someone. And Shanthi was so happy and was thrilled to see the Mangal Sutra around her neck. She was genuinely happy for Astha. Even though she's not fully aware of Asthas abuse, Astha had told her just that she was abused as a child by her step father and her mother was killed by him. Shlok is the only living person that knows the gory details about her abuse. Astha planned to keep that way.
Astha just couldn't stop herself from thinking about him. Everywhere she looked, she was reminded of him. Her heart cried out silently for him. She really didn't want him to leave. She wished things were different, circumstances were different. But reality was bitter and harsh. She had to face it come what may.
After breakfast she dropped the girls at play school and she didn't realise it until she parked her car at the shlok's hotel parking lot. She had subconsciously driven herself there.
She knew this is where she wanted be. With her Shlok. Her husband of few hours whose about to leave. And she didn't know if she'd see him again. No matter how much he kept saying that he's coming back for them ASAP. Her heart wanted to believe what he says without a doubt but her rational mind was restless. Who should she trust her mind of her heart?
Shlok was trying to get some much needed sleep when there was a knock on his door. He wasn't expecting any room service. House keeping ladies had finished the cleaning. Who could it be? Puzzled he opened the door.
She barged in, hugged him tightly as if her life depended on him. He did.
He felt her love, her need. Shlok managed to close the door. Astha kept on holding him. "Don't go" she finally managed say. "I wish I don't have to. I don't want to go back without you and the girls. Baby please be strong. I want you to be strong for me as well. I'm sorry. If there's any other way I would take it. But there's no way around it. It's only for couple of weeks. May be less. If I can arrange everything before that then I'd be back for you and the girls even before you start to miss me" Shlok said trying to pacify Astha.
"I'm sorry. Don't hate me for being so emotional. I just can't help it. I'm scared to let you go, I'm afraid that I may not see you ever again. I know that you love me and the girls more than anything. But I just can't shake off this feeling" saying she kissed him. "Are you saying that you love me more than I love you. That you don't have faith in my love. Why won't you believe me when I say that I'll be back for you no matter what? What more do you want me to say?" He said holding her by the shoulders breaking the kiss. Venting out his hurt and frustration at her lack of trust in him. "How dare you doubt my love and my commitment towards you?" She was dumbstruck seeing his reaction. Astha could clearly see the hurt and anger which she didn't expect at all. He had tears in his eyes. She cursed herself for making him feel like that, for hurting him.
But she was just being honest. "I'm sorry Shlok! Please forgive me. I'm just a nervous wreck right now. All I can think is how much I'm gonna miss you. I don't doubt you I just don't think your family will accept us. I don't have a family to consider, but it's not that simple for you. You have so many things to consider. And the unknown frightens me to death. Please don't be hurt or angry. I know that you love me. You're making such a big sacrifice for us. Instead of being grateful I'm hurting you. Say you forgive me" saying she put her hands together seeking his forgiveness. He hugged her in a flash.
The next moment he carried her to the bed. They poured out all the emotions of their impending separation into their love making. She was insatiable. He understood her need and obliged and gave into her demands. She had shed all her insecurities, inhibitions and apprehensions. She was a very passionate and a willing lover. Shlok was blown away by her sensuality and her trust in him. Which made him fall in love with her all over again every time they made love. She gently kissed his gunshot wound. Then rested her head on his chest.
"Astha, I'm not making any sacrifices. I'm being very selfish. It's you that's making the biggest sacrifice by accepting my love and agreeing to be my wife. It's you and the kids that's giving up everything you have here to be with me. Everything will be new and unfamiliar to you. But still you agreed to move to India without any hesitation. Thank you and thank you for your faith in me. I'm sorry for shouting at you. I was hurt. I know you trust me and that it's others you don't trust. Just believe me when I say that I'll be back for you and the kids as soon as I get everything sorted back in India" he said looking at her directly.
They just stayed in each others arms not wanting to separate, not knowing when they'll be able to be together again. Both were in eternal bliss. They didn't know when they had fallen asleep. Both were rudely awaken when shlok's phone started to ring. He didn't answer. He just cut the call. Didn't even see who it was. He was annoyed with who ever it was for breaking their slumber. Astha quickly checked the time.
She had to pick Rashmi and Roshni from play school. She had to leave. She was trying to be strong for him. But failing miserably. Her tears betrayed her. They were in an emotional whirlpool. Silently they were Both trying to be strong and trying to hide their pain, the pain of separation. Plus for Astha pain of not knowing what the future holds for them. When she'll see him again. He was sure of her love, of her waiting for him.
Shlok, made her look at him. She was crying. She didn't know what to say. She was afraid of hurting him again. "I love you and I'll miss you and think of you with every breath I take. Please take care of yourself. And remember your still not 100%, so take things slow. If you ever feel any pain don't wait for it go away, get it checked" she said.
She had almost forgotten, she quickly opened her satchel took out a small box. She gave it to Shlok. He opened it. Inside was a ring! With two blue sapphires and an emerald in between. Shlok noticed the engraving on the inner surface. RAR loves you he knew instantly RAR stands for Rashmi, Astha, Roshni. She took it out from the box and he gave his left hand. She put the ring on to his ring finger, it was a perfect fit. She said "these two are the girls and this emerald is me" it was their birthstones. He kissed it after which she took his hand and kissed the ring. "Now we'll be with you always. remove it when you reach india. But keep it close to you always"
Thank you! I love it. I promise you I won't remove it. I love you so much, baby" he hugged her again.
She kissed him one last time and said "Shlok, I really need to go. I'll call you later. Are you sure you don't want us to come and drop you off at the Airport"
"This past week has been the best days of my life. And it's all because of you. I know that you love me and know that I love you just as much if not more. You too take care of yourself and my girls. Don't travel alone in the night. I know you've been doing it all these years. But I want you to be careful. Thank you for loving me, thank you for giving me so much happiness. I'll miss you so much I can't even imagine how I'm gonna survive days if not weeks without you when just the thought of it is killing me" he kissed her deep and hard. She was feeling week in her knees. But she had to make herself part from him. She didn't want him to come to the parking lot. It would've been next to impossible for her to drive away from him.
How ever difficult that seemed. She had to use up all her inner mental strength to will her legs to walk away from him. She walked upto the elevator. He didn't let go of her hand. Even when the elevator doors opened he didn't let her go. She looked at him one last time before she stepped inside the elevator. He kissed her again. Kissed her eyes. Wiped the tears away. Asked her to smile for him. She forced a faint smile. He hugged her once more and stepped back. As the doors closed and they could not see each other any longer...they both just stared at the door. She kept her hand on her Mangal sutra. He kept his left hand close to his heart.
Chapter 27
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/112315226
Cricket
Udne Ki Aasha
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