Abhi-Pragya one shot: Abhishek
"May God Bless you both. Look at this picture, you both look perfect with each other. Why don't you put this one in your room? Take that Abhi's picture with the guitar off the wall" Abhishek's Daadi handed me over a 30X40 inches framed picture. Nodding my head in a Yes, I walked to my room, well, Abhishek's room. I threw the frame in my hand on the bed and stared at it.
It was indeed a perfect picture. Abhishek's arm wrapped around my shoulder. His head leaned towards mine. We both were even color coordinated.
I don't know why my eyes were getting wet.
Abhishek had married me to revenge on me for taking away his sister's love. Well, it was not me, but my sister who was involved. Ain't I glad she didn't get trapped? Well, now, his sister is getting to marry her love and my sister... may be my sister is better off away from all of it.
And I still need to keep up this facade without letting Abhishek know of the truth- for the sake of my mother. I don't even know how long this will go. But I am so afraid to break it. I don't want to take away that smile on her face that came back after ages. I don't want her recovering health to deteriorate again. God, help me. Show me a way out of all this.
I looked at the perfect picture again. And a drop fell on it. Oh it's my teardrop. Am I crying?
Tired. I am tired of all this.
I want to get away from this life of pretension. At least for a day? May be I can tell Daadi...Oh I do have a reason. It's Aug 8th, my Maamaji's birthday. Why don't I just go and stay with my mother for a night?
I went to tell the loving soul of Abhishek's Daadi that I wanted to visit my mother's home quoting Maamaji's birthday. She insisted that I wait for my husband to come home so that he could drop me. But I managed to have her let me have the driver drop me.
As the car headed towards the direction of my home, I thought of reasons I can give for my mother to have arrived without Abhishek. Oh, how tired I am of coming up with excuses all the time.
But I was convincing enough when I told my mother how busy was "Rockstar Abhi" making his music. I have become an expert in coming up with convincing reasons.
I did go to Maamaji's house and wished him for his birthday only to find out he didn't even remember it. Well my super memory power keeps even the little things well etched in my brain. I was glad he was happy that I remembered yet again like every year.
As much as I didn't want to, I couldn't help think if my so called husband would think of my absence in his house and room, actually life, for a night. It would be the perfect night for him to go to Tannu, his girlfriend. Poor soul has lost numerous chances to meet up with her because of Daadi's insistence that he stays with me. He likes Tannu so much, doesn't he? Is it that she is so tall or because she never wears a blouse with her sarees? And she doesn't let a single opportunity to show up around him. Well, Both of them may even share a drink making fun of me. Do I care?
My sister is not home yet. I sit with my mother in the living room joining her in taking pea seeds out of the pod. I lean on to her shoulder and she takes the opportunity to ask me if I am truly happy at my in laws.
The happiest I could ever be Maa, I tell her with a shine in my eyes, again, what an actress I have grown to be. I perfectly hide my tears somewhere deep within my eyes just as I do when I am around Abhishek.
I excuse myself saying I will make some coffee for us. I make two cups of instant coffee and habitually add cinnamon into a cup, only to realize of all the people I know, it's just Abhishek who drinks it that way. Glad I didn't add it to the other cup too and I decide to drink the cinnamon one myself.
Why does the coffee feels like him? What even am I thinking? I just want to throw the coffee in the sink. But I do drink it sip by sip thinking about him every moment.
Would he have reached home now? What would be his first reaction when Daadi tells him I am away for the night? Is he going to jump with joy? Will he ask Daadi to make coffee for him or would she remember to do it herself since I am not there?
My sister arrives with Suresh. He drops her home in his scooter as it has started raining.. Suresh!! The one who was always in love with her but pretended to love me. Why there is not one man on this earth who can just be there for me? No, I don't need a man to be there for me. Well, I will only be happy if Suresh and my sister can make a couple. He is still a nice guy.
My sister asks me if something is wrong. Well, she knows some of my so called secrets and facades. I tell her I just needed a break, so I am here. She and I sit together and turn on TV.
"Love, love, happy love", It's Abhishek on TV.
How can love ever be happy? I change the channel. My sister tells me she still likes Abhi's songs. She is still a fan of the artist Abhi and she knows almost all his songs by heart.
We have dinner and settle at the TV again watching a movie along with our Daadi. Maa brings some popcorn.
Abhishek just loves popcorn, I start to think. He just loves eating. He can eat just anything and everything. And then he burns his calories every morning for an hour. I don't get the point.
I think of Abhishek exercising in the room every morning. I have so gotten used to the smell of his sweat that he perspires! I can smell him even now, sitting in my mother's house. How weird? And his tall muscular framed body, Oh why does he show it off so much? On TV, in concerts and even to me? I have heard there are islands belonging to nudists in foreign countries. He would be happy there.
I really can't get over that body of his. The goose bumps I get? Why does he come so near to me with bare chest? Does he want to test if I am going to fall on him and prove that... well prove what? A bitch... that he just falls short of calling me.
I can't concentrate on the movie. I tell my mother and sister that I will go to bed. They are so engrossed in the movie! My Daadi is already asleep. I just walk to my room and look at the window through which I used to see Suresh. Ain't I glad it is closed? I so don't want to open it.
I look at myself in the mirror. I look at my glasses. Chashmish I hear. I want to hear that word again, from Abhishek. I smile at my image sarcastically. Yeah I am the same person who used to make a big deal if someone called me Chashmish in school.
I wonder if Abhishek ate his dinner. Did he eat at home or outside? Would he have gone for a dinner with Tannu? A part of me wishes I were serving him dinner right now. What even? Why do I get such thoughts? Abhishek doesn't need me. I don't need him either- I dictate myself.
I close the door of my room to avoid the noise coming from the TV. I decide to call it a night. I miss something. I don't know what. I miss talking, shouting, fighting? With Abhishek? Every evening when he comes home, he has some complaint against me, he taunts me! I give it back to him. He taunts more...and I do too. And finally we end up sleeping on the same bed with a border of pillows between us. And once in a while, he sleeps turning towards me. He sleeps like a baby. Those are the times I wonder how can such bliss looking person be so bitter? There have been times I just want to slap his sleeping face but also run my fingers through his hair. Why do I...
I take two pillows and lay them in the middle of the bed, separating his side from mine. Habit? I have gone crazy.
As I try to put myself to sleep, I remember his eyes. He looks at me sometimes as if I am his world. As if he is my most beautiful dream that I never finished dreaming. How can I think about a dream in a facade? Well, even the dream is a facade. Just like he fools the whole world with his love songs, I am fooled too. What, love and Abhishek and me? Please my dear mind, stop being the biggest fool!
I sigh.
It must have been a couple of hours, when I hear the doorbell. I hadn't slept really.
I open the door.
Abhishek! Yes, Abhishek, my husbaaand at the door. He is half drenched because of the stormy rain. I am shocked to say a word. Or glad?
"Daadi is missing you. I don't know what magic you have done, she can't sleep without you in the house. She asked me to bring you back" Before he finishes, my ever so in love with her son in law Maa arrives. Again, she talks to him like she is talking to a God and gets him a change of clothes. Well, my maamaji's clothes he had worn previously when he came for Pag Phere. Maa had forgotten to return them.
My Maa somehow convinces Abhishek to stay the night saying it is dangerous to go out in such a stormy night. He agrees. He does enquire about my Daadi whom he calls his Rockstar Daadi!!
My Maa shows him my room. Before I could enter, he enters and sees the line of pillows in the middle of the bed.
"So, this was your plan to get me here? You knew you will bring me here?" He looks at me furiously. I am still shocked and still glad to say a word.
He starts removing his shirt again. I close the door. He literally changes into Maamaji's clothes in front of me. Well, for the 100th time he changes in front of me. I look at him without looking.
He goes to use the washroom. His mobile rings from his jeans pocket. I see that it is his Daadi calling. I am not sure if I should pick it up. The ring stops. It rings again. Daadi calling again. I pick up this time. Before I say something "where are you Abhi?" Daadi shouts.
"Daadi, it is Pragya speaking. Abhishek is here at my mom's place" I say slowly.
"Okay beta. I was just worried where did he go in the stormy night. Looks like he can't live a day without you. Told you, you are so made for each other" Daadi says again.
I finish the call. So it was Daadi's grandson missing me? The one who hates me. How ironic! I so don't get him. Did he watch a horror movie and couldn't sleep alone? I wonder.
"Chashmish, how do I look in your Maamaji's clothes?" he winks at me coming out of the washroom. I shiver at his wink, well, as usual. But I look away.
He takes one side of the bed.
"Daadi won't be able to sleep without you" he defends his reason for coming here.
"At least you sleep. Good night, Abhishek" I tell him.
"Good night, Chashmish... Kishmish Jaisi Sukhi Chashmish" he smirks.
I smile.
And we call it a night.
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