NEVER LET YOU GO.:
PART-4
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21st July 1996.
A SNAG, A MEMORY,
Vartika's call, last night didn't let me sleep peacefully, i was worried.. Her sobs never left my ears, always sending chills down my spine. I got up early and got ready to leave for my home in Delhi, i was standing at college gate waiting for the bus to drop me at bus station.. I stood there, lost, thinking about my papa, vartika,
"where to vardhan" a female voice brought me back to the world. I turned back, and no wonder! it's niharika again, after all who else knows me in the college.. My lips instantly curved on seeing her.
"to home??" she asked nearing me, i nodded
"you?" i asked.. must say... things changed drastically between us. she began to share every little aspect of her's with mine. but still some where deep down my heart i felt a bit inconvenience to be so close to her.. that might be because of the envious looks of the other guys at me when ever they spotted me with her.
"friend's place," she cut short, bringing me back to the world. we stood in silence till the bus came and even after boarding the bus and all the journey we never exchanged a word. But after alighting the bus in Delhi, she broke the awkward silence prevailed till then, between us,
"vardhaan, can you teach science," she asked..
"what kind of question is that!? I mean what do you mean? Of course yes! but why?" i said completely befuddled.
"kuch nehin.. Can you spare 2 hours for me!" she asked with very pleasing tone.. I melted faster than ice on seeing her cute face..
"umm!" i nodded, i don't know why. And then she took me to a place that i had never been before in my life. Moments after we were standing before the gate of orphanage.. The building and the gate were wrecked enough to collapse at any time. I was completely baffled at what we were going to do exactly!
"are you sure, about what we are doing" i asked
"yep! What's there to confuse" she riposted and began to walk in.. I gave her confused look and followed her
" but you said you are going to your friend's place" i expressed doubt.
"i have too many friend's here!" she chuckled just like a kid.. even then i had no idea of what we were going to do.. I just followed her... But after entering in and witnessing the situation in there, my eyes turned moist, i just couldn't express what i felt. 100's of kids, of all ages, almost... All were orphans. Some were abandoned by parents, some lost their parents, some are crippled, some are infants...innocent enough to make us forget the fake world... They were pathetic. As soon as niharika stepped in.. They all circled her in amusement... Couple of minutes passed and she was still with them... I was standing at a corner and was watching everything, i felt a sudden surge of emotions, and few tears dribbled down unnoticeably. Soon she accidentally glanced at me...and began to speak to them as if she got to remember something..
"bachho..! He is your new teacher, now on, he'll teach you science, don't trouble him, be good children.. Okay...?" she said.
"okkeeyyy..." they said in unison smiling and jumping. She walked to me and fished class 3 science text book out of her bag and gave it to me.
"i'll be out there, come to me after you are done... Teach them from 2nd lesson and compulsorily for 1 hour okay!" she said and i nodded like a kid. As soon as she left the room, few children followed her out.. I saw her talking to an elderly women out there in the ground... She might be the care taker of those children... I let a deep sigh out and began the class...
An hour passed so and i stepped out when i was done... It's really a strange experience, for some reason, my chest swelled with pride, i was feeling so bliss, satisfaction... I walked to the ground and saw her teaching in other room... She saw me and gestured 5 more minutes to me.. I gestured her to carry on and sat in the varendeh, waiting for her. She came to me a couple of minutes later, smiling,
"what next?" i asked.
"nothing much, will you please hold this for a while!" she said handing me her bag..
"oh! Sure."
as soon as i took her bag, she removed her duppata and tied it tightly around her waist, she tied her open hair into loose bun and adjusted her bangles back tightly, i was puzzled again, cause she's just like a book of puzzles, never understanding..! She quickly walked back to the ground and not knowing what to do, i followed her to the ground... She was there, helping the children in planting trees... She was no less than an angel, bringing smiles on their grim faces... I was just bubbling with unknown pride on seeing her, i just stood there, staring at her, i was lost and was mesmerized by her beauty, innocence and nature of course..
It was around 1 pm that we bade adieu to those children and walked out of the orphanage. All the time we walked to the bus stop we walked in silence...
"so how's the experience" she asked as we were waiting for the bus.
"you come here every week?" i asked.
"yep! I feel good to be with these kids" she replied thus ending the conversation short. again a dead silence prevailed...
"so.!" i tried to initiate the conversation again.
"sorry.!" she said
"what?"
"i mistook you to be spoilt brat...! You are not that bad" she said with her gaze stuck to road.. I was unfazed cause it was something that happens every time when a girl catches boy stealing glances at her every now and then, before i could speak the bus came emanating the dust behind.In no time she boarded the bus and the bus sped past..
how can one manage to be that angelic... am sure... she was down to earth.. there was not even a speck of her that makes her look flawed, she was something, a brave minded... still soft hearten.. "interesting..! very interesting" i said to my self as I began to walk to my home thinking about her...
It was already 3 pm when i reached home,. My home was all decorated with flowers. There were few relatives plying from gate to door hastily, i was dumbstruck and was wondering about what could had happened..I stepped in, in askance. My mom was busy in work and dad was busy talking to his friends,, the priest was hastily collecting his things, the holy fire set in the center was reducing to smoke and ashes, i stood in the center of the hall completely in haze. no one were at least paying any heed to my presence, what ever, i didn't care. my eyes were searching for vartika, she was no where, i was worried and made an instant step towards her room
the door of her room was bolted from inside.. I knocked the door twice, but nothing came in response.
"di open the door, it's me" i said in hushed tone... Still nothing came in response... With every passing minute I turned more and more restless... I got down the stairs hastily and ran to backyard. I started climbing up to her room with the support of the PVC pipe there,.
"vardhan,, you are such a brat.!" again the same voice startled me from behind and i lost my grip, as a result i was on floor wincing in pain,
"what the..! What are you doing here? And how did you managed to be here?..." i screamed out of frustration, standing up and dusting my hands.
"oh! Hello, my bag is with you, and how am i supposed to go without money!" she directly came to the point.
"yelo, tumari bag and get lost! Abhi" i yelled at her.
"vardhan, but,.. I was just..." she tried to speak.
.
"just leave...goddammit!" i bellowed again and began to climb up... Tears formed a minute layer in her eyes, but i was not in condition to care for her. I just climbed up and entered vartika's room through the window.
Her room was poorly lit and was completely messy, i was really scared then, kyun ki, vartika always keeps her room so clean. in fact she always chides me for making my room messy.. i looked around and found her at the corner of the room.. she sat on the floor with her head buried in to her knees... her sobs were clearly audible in the eerie silence of that room..
"vartika..! di.. look up.. what happened.. please stop crying." i rushed to her and was trying to make her look up.. but she was sobbing bitterly.. i had never seen her in such a state. i was just trembling to see her like that.. couple of seconds later she calmed down a bit and composed herself...
"vardhan.. where have you been all the time...they are getting me married vardhan... i got engaged today. please stop this.. please... am not feeling like getting married this early.. i still want to continue my studies vardhan... please help me out..i don't know why my martial status became hindrance to their prestige but please am not at all ready for this... please do something.. please." she blurted on and broke down in my arms... i felt so bad for her... all the time i made her feel comfort and promised her that i'll help her to continue her studies..
i walked out of my house cursing my self for not being with my loved sister in her difficult times.after all it was her who fought with my papa corroborating my decision of picking up mathematics in 11th.. but i failed to help her.. to be with her in hard times.. i felt like i was worthless.. my heart sank with guilty feeling... i was waking through the backyard thinking of possible ways to help her out..suddenly some thing unusual caught my sight and made me stop... i found the few engine models i made lying in the ground carelessly.. i knew papa would had made them thrown out... tears struck my eyes but refused to flow down even though my heart was wincing in pain... i inched closer... and my heart ached more and more to see some of them broken.. i just felt like going straight to my dad and ask him why..? I fell on my knees... I felt like my dreams were shattered right in front of my eyes.. I sat there silently with those models in my hand and shed tears silently.
"ab rona mat! Sab theek hogaya!" the familiar meek voice again,! interrupted my thoughts. I was tierd of wondering always! I knew it was her! i looked up at her.. Only to see her with my models in her hands, she had fixed some of them..
"you!? You didn't go?" i stood up.
"these things caught my sight when i was about to leave.. I didn't feel like leaving them like this.. So i fixed them! I mean few of them!" she said stretching her hands towards me, showing me what she had done!
My eyes widened, they were back to life again! The euphoria i felt on taking them to my hands was just undescribable.. I quickly collected all those in her hand and those, lying on ground to cardboard box
"can we go now!" she asked. I said nothing i just hugged those things to my heart and began to walk out silently.
"Ab bata, kya hua! You're looking so stressed out!" she asked after we boarded the bus back to college.. After what had happened all that day i never felt her like a stranger any more, in fact that day inched our hearts even more closer in friendly companionship. i felt so comfortable in sharing everything with her, so i just confided her every thing, every thing how my papa forced me to choose commerce, how vartika stood up for me and my dream, and then how she was getting married forcefully and was scared that she had to discontinue her studies after marraige. And how i felt when i failed to help her out! She heard everything in silence
"did you talk to your dad?" she asked finally
"nothing will work. He's not talking to me" i said in despair.
"umm! If main door doesn't open! Then creep through the back door! Just like you did it today!" she shrugged
"what do you mean?" i narrowed my eyes.
"very simple! talk to your ji ju" she said with her head tilted to side ways and blinking her eyes smiling.. She had a point and i felt it worthy. So i decided to talk to my jiju the very next day.
...
Anupamaa
