Originally posted by: Rehanism
When we discuss issues like rape, bride burning, honour killing, etc we tend to see them in isolation however almost no effort is done to delve deep into this sort of deep entrenched and widely accepted culture of misogyny that breeds them.
The question is -- Isn't it our defeat that a large chunk of Indian women themselves (and that too educated ones using most modern technology) suffer from such Stockholm syndrome and consider feminists and liberals as their enemies and proudly lend their shoulders to a thoroughly sexist and abusive culture and its role-models? How does one, then, respond to arguments like **see women here have no problem with it, then what is your problem**?
PS : The purpose of the thread is not to decide who was right in this interaction. So please don't bother to elaborate on that too much. Rather focus on the culturally institutionalized misogyny and women's role in its sustenance.
Well, on the whole conversation that you put up there, my sympathies. I've often found myself in such situations and believe me I'm coming straight from a Preity Zinta news article on fb where a lot of delusional misogynistic men were posting. 😆
So yeah, as a woman I do feel women are in many way reponsible for the miseries of women. Many women are masochistic and it's even more hilarious how they don't realise how misogynistic they are being in their self-righteous arguments.
I often hear some women proclaim, "I'm no feminist... but I do feel bla bla bla...". The fact that they feel this need to add this prefix of 'I'm no feminist' says a lot. The mistaken belief that feminism deals with women's issues only and that too issues of the 'aggressive' women is so widespread among even the educated classes.
The popular connotations of feminists have changed over the years as manipulated by the inherently 'male' mainstream media.
Initially they were the rebellious aggressive women you should keep your wife away from.
Then they were the bunch of bad looking geeks who'd never get a boyfriend.
Nowadays feminists are also tagged as 'lesbians', of course in a pejorative way. Well I'm happy that the society at least recognised lesbianism. Earlier gay sex was only about sodomy.
Now coming to why so many women feel the need conform to these patriarchal devices.
To gain acceptance mainly. You know it's like when you go to new school you feel the compulsion to do a lot things so that you get into the popular group. It's important to be lady-like. or sati-like. whatever!
Now why it is so important for women to gain acceptance of the men in the work space, family or even in buses, trains is something I'm trying to understand. Perhaps because the notion that men are some kind of higher beings bestowed with greater and nobler duties has been ingrained in their minds through ages. And why not? Look at our rituals, raksha bandhan- the brother protects the sister for she is vulnerable (bodily). Kadva chauth- the woman must fast for her man's longer life. I can go on... but you get the point right? Also she grows up seeing her mother serving her father when he comes home, bringing him tea, food. So the role of women in the domestic space pretty much defines her space elsewhere too, even though she goes to office now, a space where she co-habits with the man. She still comes back and serves her husband at the dinner table.
The woman's role in the family and her secondary status is obvious even to a child.
I've often faced that situation. "if she doesn't have an issue, what's your problem?" And I feel so helpless.
A friend of mine was getting beaten up by her boyfriend (who happened to be a friend too) and according to her, he'll change and her love will change him! I didn't know how to make her understand that to him she's like a pet, or even worse. Definitely not a partner.
One thing that works well is culture shock, that I've seen. They'll cringe, just like we cringe looking at them, but then being an alternative wave is far better than existing on the accepted lines.
And I agree with this being a predominantly Indian problem. Fealty by marriage to the man is very much an Oriental notion.
The west has its set of bigotries, but nowhere is it so difficult for women to command her rights on her body, her sexuality and her space. Cue: our crowded buses.
A man's hand all over my body but I hesitate to say anything and finally when I do say something, the women would look away as if I've disgraced them and entire womanhood. And the man would lecture me on how it's my problem and I should take a cab. It happens only in India.
Okay this became too long. I rant a lot. 😳
Edited by -bLEu98- - 11 years ago
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