Obsession with First Born - Fail to understand - Page 3

Created

Last reply

Replies

27

Views

4.4k

Users

20

Likes

126

Frequent Posters

.Rajji. thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 11 years ago
#21
absolutely agree. i know he doesn't hate ruhi but he does give way too much importance to adi. he doesn't see him as often as ruhi that's why it's painful for him and i understand that but the dialogue he had in today's epi made him sound like as if ruhi didn't count at all. badly written i guess.
other than that, shagun is the mother of his kids and they will forever share a bond but "the memories" he is talking about is as much his as shagun's, i don't see why he should thank her for giving them to him. Shagun didn't conceive the kids by herself did she? He knows that shagun is manipulative and that she was doing all that to get superiority feeling on ishita and he gave that to her. Dumbo ! "thank you and sorry" he said, and i was like "say what?!"
The_Imane thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#22

Originally posted by: yyy

Never in my life I have heard people differentiate between first born and second born .I am a first born and my parents treat me the same way they treat my siblings. This first born definately iexaggerated in the serial.

I am not much concerned about Ishita as she knew about Raman before marriage but that little girl didn't have a choices. Even during separation he never forgot Adi who represents his good times with Shagun but he stayed away from Ruhi because she resembled the same women who once gave him his first kid.

Isn't Raman selfish and self centered? As a parent you cannot just think about yourself .He never noticed Ruhi until custody case and as Ishita pointed out winning Ruhi from Ashok was important.

well i am first born and yes my parents but not only my whole family pampered me and cherished me as first born...that time it was paradise...the whole family was togheter that time...and all cherished and pampered me and not others kids of the family whose come later...i can never forgot that...the love and bond our family shared...and it was not only my parents every member of the family pampered me and give me everything love, care as money and toys...now my whole family is separated...all have parted house and my parents r divorced...i now hate someone who at that time may have loved me so much so as I...but those memories never earise...still today when my mom and dad r with us all kids there is awkwardness between both...hate...no dialogue but we kids make them laugh and talk freely by a way or another dil nahi manta...but we know that it was the past...it cannot come again...hum kitna bhi wish kare...now my best friend is my laptop and i am all the day alone in house...so i know its past...
I can complitely understand raman...bcoz that time his worl was paradise too that time...i know cant forgot first born and memories wth him...i am in same situatuon that him somewhere so i can complitely understand him...and his love with adi
Ps: just my pov
india2050 thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#23
There is First born Syndrome-it exists definately& for sure.My Dad's Bro was the eldest& always pampered by my granny.My bro is also eldest& is still being pampered(he is over 40).My Hubby is also first born& his parents fuss him over(still) like he is just in nappies.Also he is the most loved amongst his cousins since he was the first in both families.Its very true first born is there more so if its a male child.
BTW i never saw any first born female children being pampered in my near family.
MERARAI thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#24
Enjoyed reading the posts here. Thanks for an interesting discussion.
In an idealistic world, loving a child equally whether first or last or somewhere in between sounds wonderful. But in reality, a parent can show an extra ounce of attention (which is an expression of love) or give preference to one child over the other for any number of reasons. One really can't measure love that way.

There are any number of reasons why a parent may prefer one child over the other. in varying situations. I know families where the last born (son) is the prince in the family, the middle child is a great achiever and therefore dear to the parents, the elest daughter is the princess who rules the family from a distance even after she's married and queen at her in-laws, Sometimes an emotional association to the birth of the child, a promotion or success, the parents show a little bias in favor of the child. It has everything to do with the parent and the emotional bonding with the child. Reality is, the parent bonds with each child differently at birth.

Truth be told, parents love each child in different ways and have special moments for different reasons or not. Sometimes a parent loves that a child looks like them, has traits like them. Disciplining a child, indulging a child (to a minimum) and encouraging a child are all different expressions of love. We don't all love our parents or siblings equally. There are moments we hate their guts too. Love is acceptance.😃

When a parent is separated from a child no matter how old they are, the love is expressed as a yearning to bond. In Raman's case what we know is that Adi was born and he became a father for the first time during happy times in his marriage. It has special significance in his life. He had raised his son with love for 5-6 years, now they are estranged and the child he raised spoke to him with contempt and anger is hard for Raman to digest. Shagun used Adi as a weapon against Raman and poisoned the his mind against his father and Raman feels hurt.by the rejection.
He sees Ruhi being loved and nurtured by Ishu and his/her family and his heart longs to give his neglected son the love and attention he deserves. Adi has been raised by Shagun and her lover Ashok in a materialistic world without little regard for relationships. Truth is he has no healthy relationship or role model. Children by their innate nature are good, it's the environment and circumstances that influence how they grow and change. Raman is concerned that Adi's current lifestyle may have an adverse effect on his son in the long run and time is running out for him to make a difference by giving him the support he needs to becoming a good adult.

In recent days there's been talk about stem cell contracts for Adi. Did Adi have a medical condition as a child that Raman made such a decision? Concern for the well being of an estranged child can seem like an obsession when a parent feels helpless to do anything for his child as is the case with Raman.

There is no one way to express love.and every person expresses it differently towards the same person based on what life serves us.😊
Edited by MERARAI - 11 years ago
The_Imane thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 11 years ago
#25

Originally posted by: india2050

There is First born Syndrome-it exists definately& for sure.My Dad's Bro was the eldest& always pampered by my granny.My bro is also eldest& is still being pampered(he is over 40).My Hubby is also first born& his parents fuss him over(still) like he is just in nappies.Also he is the most loved amongst his cousins since he was the first in both families.Its very true first born is there more so if its a male child.

BTW i never saw any first born female children being pampered in my near family.

i saw three first born female being pampered in my nearest family! 😊 who r still being pampered!
Heema22 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#26
Enjoyed reading the posts here. Thanks for an interesting discussion.
In an idealistic world, loving a child equally whether first or last or somewhere in between sounds wonderful. But in reality, a parent can show an extra ounce of attention (which is an expression of love) or give preference to one child over the other for any number of reasons. One really can't measure love that way.

There are any number of reasons why a parent may prefer one child over the other. in varying situations. I know families where the last born (son) is the prince in the family, the middle child is a great achiever and therefore dear to the parents, the elest daughter is the princess who rules the family from a distance even after she's married and queen at her in-laws, Sometimes an emotional association to the birth of the child, a promotion or success, the parents show a little bias in favor of the child. It has everything to do with the parent and the emotional bonding with the child. Reality is, the parent bonds with each child differently at birth.

Truth be told, parents love each child in different ways and have special moments for different reasons or not. Sometimes a parent loves that a child looks like them, has traits like them. Disciplining a child, indulging a child (to a minimum) and encouraging a child are all different expressions of love. We don't all love our parents or siblings equally. There are moments we hate their guts too. Love is acceptance.😃

When a parent is separated from a child no matter how old they are, the love is expressed as a yearning to bond. In Raman's case what we know is that Adi was born and he became a father for the first time during happy times in his marriage. It has special significance in his life. He had raised his son with love for 5-6 years, now they are estranged and the child he raised spoke to him with contempt and anger is hard for Raman to digest. Shagun used Adi as a weapon against Raman and poisoned the his mind against his father and Raman feels hurt.by the rejection.
He sees Ruhi being loved and nurtured by Ishu and his/her family and his heart longs to give his neglected son the love and attention he deserves. Adi has been raised by Shagun and her lover Ashok in a materialistic world without little regard for relationships. Truth is he has no healthy relationship or role model. Children by their innate nature are good, it's the environment and circumstances that influence how they grow and change. Raman is concerned that Adi's current lifestyle may have an adverse effect on his son in the long run and time is running out for him to make a difference by giving him the support he needs to becoming a good adult.

In recent days there's been talk about stem cell contracts for Adi. Did Adi have a medical condition as a child that Raman made such a decision? Concern for the well being of an estranged child can seem like an obsession when a parent feels helpless to do anything for his child as is the case with Raman.

There is no one way to express love.and every person expresses it differently towards the same person based on what life serves us.😊
[/QUOTE
I really loved the way you put it . We need to acknowdge that parents have choices to , unknowingly they do choose child and love bit more , this doesnot mean they dislike thier other children . It's very natural .

As the story unfolds we know now that Adi has some medical condition and may be Ramen is obsess with Adi for this reason with many others . He does love Ruhi but he finds no need to express that love publicly because she is with him and he sees her every day and she is well taken care by Ishita and has extended family to love her .
india2050 thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#27

Originally posted by: Imanezara

i saw three first born female being pampered in my nearest family! 😊 who r still being pampered!

Imanezera-i was only quoting about my family-Not generalizing it-Hope you got it!😕
Abirika thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 11 years ago
#28

Originally posted by: ASRaddictKKG

When he says Adi is special it dosen't automatically mean Ruhi is less special 😛


His words directly mean dat dear😒

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".